Doug Ward's Blog, page 59

Ward's Words #449

I don't think scented candles in the bathroom are such a good idea. A closed in area, where you are encouraged to break wind, is no place to put an open flame. 

Ward's Words #446

Styrofoam is a trade name.  The actual material is polystyrene. So, one could say all Styrofoam is polystyrene, but not all polystyrene is Styrofoam. 

Ward's Words #445

Does anyone else get infuriated by those commercials where people owe $300.000 dollars in taxes and they pay $3000?  How is that fair?

Ward's Words #443

I hate websites that use a slideshow format for their content. I like to send them feedback in in the form of another slideshow. They never get past the third slide before giving up. 

Ward's Words #440

I don't trust the hospital my niece was born in. She spent her first full day sleeping. When I suggested to the doctor that she might have narcapoloepsy, he just laughed and walked away.  Didn’t even test her.  

Ward's Words #439

If everyone doesn’t believe in zombies, then why do we bury our dead 6 feet underground?  If we weren’t so sure they’d raise from the grave you’d think a foot or two would do.

Ward's Words #437

I told my wife that I want to stop my snacking habit.  So now, every time I reach for a moon pie, she spritzed me in the face with a mister bottle. At least it beats the time I told her I wanted to stop singing. Those electronic bark collars really weren't meant for the shower. 

Ward’s Words #435

I was watching Mountain Men for the first time.  The guy had a bundle of sticks and was in trouble due to snow and the cold.  He said he would die after maybe two more days unless he found some wood.  I had to laugh.  Maybe the cameraman could help out cause I’m sure he isn’t risking his life.

Ward's Words #433

It is said it takes 1 million years for a plastic jug to decompose in the environment.  And we know this because someone actually sat and watched one for a million years?

Ward's Words #431

My friend was constipated and after returning from the bathroom, I asked him how it went.  He answered that it was nothing to write home about.  All I know is that he and I write home about totally different subjects.