Doug Ward's Blog, page 61
July 15, 2015
Ward's Words #409
My wife and I bought these eco friendly grocery bags. You know the type, you take them into the store to carry your groceries out. Well, we never remembered to take them in and so I wound up throwing them out. Anyhow, yesterday I got a call from Ocean City and they said the eco friendly bag I threw out killed a dolphin. This is the last time I write my name and address inside anything ever again. I should’ve learned after the tragic giraffe/underoos incident. So, any who, I’m going to stop trying to be green. The environment isn’t any safer if I’m in it.
July 14, 2015
Ward’s Words #407
I just turned on my Tamagotchi and man was he screwed up? Being cooped up in that tiny device for the nearly 20 years didn’t sweeten his disposition.
July 13, 2015
Ward's Words #405
I've been having some trouble coming up with new compositions for my paintings when it dawned on me. Coloring books. I've been such a patsy. Using my own mind when I could ride off the guiding lines of others.
July 12, 2015
Ward's Words #402
I think the History Channel has become the Ancient Aliens Channel.
July 11, 2015
Ward's Words #401
The question is, do you smile for a mug shot or try to act cool? I’m kinda in a hurry so I need to know right now…
July 10, 2015
Ward's Words #399
Any news reporter, who says climate change is wrong while a stock market report streams in the background is not reliable.
July 9, 2015
Ward's Words #397
I think my dad was the brains behind the modern rails to trails movement. Back in the 60’s he would take me and my brother to the railroad to play. It would’ve been easier to dodge the trains if we weren’t in a tunnel.
July 8, 2015
Ward's Words #395
I'm glad the thumb evolved facing the body. If it was on the other side, your fork would point away from your face.
July 6, 2015
Ward's Words #393
When I'm in Ohio, I do whatever I want. I drive fast while texting, fight, steal. I do it all. I figure if they try to put me in jail I can just claim diplomatic immunity. Bingo, Pennsylvania will come to my rescue and I'll be back on the streets in less than an hour.
July 5, 2015
Ward's Words #391
Every time the guys on Ancient Aliens mention Lake Titicaca I crack up like a third grader. It wouldn't be so bad if they didn’t mention it several times in almost every show.
