Doug Ward's Blog, page 18

Ward's Words #1228

Yoko Ono is reported to have made an insecticide. It doesn’t kill anything but it sure does separate Beatles.

Ward's Words #1226

I’ve seen too many Final Destination movies not to look at some guy driving down the highway with a rickety, overloaded bike rack and think this is the way I go out.

Ward's Words #1225

I don’t understand packages that say, “May contain nuts.”  Shouldn’t you know if your product contains nuts?  You know all these chemicals and even how many calories it’s made up of but oops… I wonder if we put any nuts in there.  You never read, “may contain riboflavin.”  It either does or doesn’t.  I’ve been to some fast-food places that may contain meat, but nuts should be something you specifically use as an ingredient.  I think they should be even more specific.  May contain up to 3 cockroach legs… or maybe not.    

Ward's Words #1222

I’ve noticed that pedestrians are starting to get a bit cocky. The law that lets them have the right away at crosswalks is only supposed to work at said crosswalks. So, I feel any of those lawbreakers who are jaywalking should be fair game. That’s why I only buy red cars. Anyone want to go hunting… er… for a drive with me?

Ward's Words #1220

If you’re still hand-writing letters, who do you think you are? George Washington? Jeez, and I thought emails were out of date.

Ward's Words #1218

I wonder how many times Velma lost her glasses? I think it was a reoccurring Scooby Doo thing.

Ward's Words #1217

I guess having, “dig up and hide the body hidden in the flower bed” on your bucket list is a bit unique.

Ward's Words #1214

Isn't it peculiar that Thurston Howell the 3rd and his wife Lovey took an island tour on a small rundown tour boat that happened to have movie star Ginger on it?

Ward's Words #1212

I think the tipping system is flawed.  It shouldn’t be based on your bill.  Somehow, giving your server $25 for taking meal orders and then bringing food and drinks seems like a bit much.  

Ward's Words #1210

In the movie, War of the Worlds, I thought it was pretty cool that a human virus completely wiped out the alien attackers. But isn’t it odd that an alien virus didn’t wipe us out? Are we really that dirty?