Never Split the Difference Quotes

“Getting to Yes,”
― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

“While I wasn’t actually saying “No,” the questions I kept asking sounded like it. They seemed to insinuate that the other side was being dishonest and unfair. And that was enough to make them falter and negotiate with themselves. Answering my calibrated questions demanded deep emotional strengths and tactical psychological insights that the toolbox they’d been given did not contain.”
― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

“Don't commit to assumptions; instead, view them as hypotheses and use negotiation to test them rigorously”
― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It

“you can use “what” and “how” to calibrate nearly any question. “Does this look like something you would like?” can become “How does this look to you?” or “What about this works for you?” You can even ask, “What about this doesn’t work for you?”
― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

“There’s the Framing Effect, which demonstrates that people respond differently to the same choice depending on how it is framed (people place greater value on moving from 90 percent to 100 percent—high probability to certainty—than from 45 percent to 55 percent, even though they’re both ten percentage points). Prospect Theory explains why we take unwarranted risks in the face of uncertain losses.”
― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

“Their system was easy to follow and seductive, with four basic tenets. One, separate the person—the emotion—from the problem; two, don’t get wrapped up in the other side’s position (what they’re asking for) but instead focus on their interests (why they’re asking for it) so that you can find what they really want; three, work cooperatively to generate win-win options; and, four, establish mutually agreed-upon standards for evaluating those possible solutions. It was a brilliant, rational, and profound synthesis of the most advanced game theory and legal thinking of the day. For years after that book came out, everybody—including the FBI and the NYPD—focused on a problem-solving approach to bargaining interactions. It just seemed so modern and smart.”
― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

“un «sí» no es nada sin un «cómo».”
― Chris Voss, Rompe la barrera del no: Negocia como si te fuera la vida en ello

“We are emotional, irrational beasts who are emotional and irrational in predictable pattern filled ways.”
― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It

“Though the intensity may differ from person to person, you can be sure that everyone you meet is driven by two primal urges: the need to feel safe and secure, and the need to feel in control. If you satisfy those drives, you’re in the door. As we saw with my chat with Daryl, you’re not going to logically convince them that they’re safe, secure, or in control. Primal needs are urgent and illogical, so arguing them into a corner is just going to push your counterpart to flee with a counterfeit “Yes.” And being “nice” in the form of feigned sympathy is often equally as unsuccessful. We live in an age that celebrates niceness under various names. We are exhorted to be nice and to respect people’s feelings at all times and in every situation. But nice alone in the context of negotiation can backfire. Nice, employed as a ruse, is disingenuous and manipulative. Who hasn’t received the short end of the stick in dealings with a “nice” salesman who took you for a ride? If you rush in with plastic niceness, your bland smile is going to dredge up all that baggage. Instead of getting inside with logic or feigned smiles, then, we get there by asking for “No.” It’s the word that gives the speaker feelings of safety and control. “No” starts conversations and creates safe havens to get to the final “Yes” of commitment. An early “Yes” is often just a cheap, counterfeit dodge.”
― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

“As a negotiator you should always be aware of which side, at any given moment, feels they have the most to lose if negotiations collapse”
― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

“Why are they communicating what they are communicating right now?” Remember, negotiation is more like walking on a tightrope than competing against an opponent. Focusing so much on the end objective will only distract you from the next step, and that can cause you to fall off the rope.”
― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

“Read nonverbal clues and always voice your observations with your counterpart.”
― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

“Negotiations will always suffer from limited predictability.”
― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

“Black Swan theory tells us that things happen that were previously thought to be impossible—or never thought of at all.”
― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

“When you make these offers, they work on various levels. First, they play on the norm of reciprocity; they inspire your counterpart to make a concession, too. Just like people are more likely to send Christmas cards to people who first send cards to them, they are more likely to make bargaining concessions to those who have made compromises in their direction.”
― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

“I want to emphasize how important it is to maintain a collaborative relationship even when you’re setting boundaries.”
― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

“Let’s pause for a minute here, because there’s one vitally important thing you have to remember when you enter a negotiation armed with your list of calibrated questions. That is, all of this is great, but there’s a rub: without self-control and emotional regulation, it doesn’t work.”
― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

“it’s best to start with “what,” “how,” and sometimes “why.” Nothing else.”
― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

“Now, think about how my client’s question worked: without accusing them of anything, it pushed the big company to understand her problem and offer the solution she wanted.”
― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

“epítome”
― Chris Voss, Rompe la barrera del no: Negocia como si te fuera la vida en ello

“If you’re dealing with a rookie counterpart, you might be tempted to be the shark and throw out an extreme anchor. Or if you really know the market and you’re dealing with an equally informed pro, you might offer a number just to make the negotiation go faster.”
― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

“cualquier oído extra puede recoger información extra.”
― Chris Voss, Rompe la barrera del no: Negocia como si te fuera la vida en ello

“we may use logic to reason ourselves toward a decision, the actual decision making is governed by emotion.”
― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

“We’re all irrational, all emotional. Emotion is a necessary element to decision making that we ignore at our own peril. Realizing that hits people hard between the eyes.”
― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

“Anyone who made any offer other than $1 made an emotional choice” I say. “And for you accepters who turned down $1, since when is getting $0 better than getting $1? Did the rules of finance suddenly change?”
― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

“Whether you call it “buy-in” or “engagement” or something else, good negotiators know that their job isn’t to put on a great performance but to gently guide their counterpart to discover their goal as his own.”
― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

“We fear what’s different and are drawn to what’s similar.”
― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

“Kahneman later codified his research in the 2011 bestseller Thinking, Fast and Slow.”
― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

“One, separate the person—the emotion—from the problem; two, don’t get wrapped up in the other side’s position (what they’re asking for) but instead focus on their interests (why they’re asking for it) so that you can find what they really want; three, work cooperatively to generate win-win options; and, four, establish mutually agreed-upon standards for evaluating those possible solutions”
― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

“way. As I’ve worked with executives and students to develop these skills, I always try to reinforce the message that being right isn’t the key to a successful negotiation—having the right mindset is.”
― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It