Never Split the Difference Quotes

“Popping his head into her office, the boss said, “Let’s make two copies of all the paperwork.” “I’m sorry, two copies?” she mirrored in response, remembering not only the DJ voice, but to deliver the mirror in an inquisitive tone. The intention behind most mirrors should be “Please, help me understand.” Every time you mirror someone, they will reword what they’ve said. They will never say it exactly the same way they said it the first time. Ask someone, “What do you mean by that?” and you’re likely to incite irritation or defensiveness. A mirror, however, will get you the clarity you want while signaling respect and concern for what the other person is saying.”
― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

“make your sole and all-encompassing focus the other person and what they have to say. In that mode of true active listening—aided by the tactics you’ll learn in the following chapters—you’ll disarm your counterpart.”
― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

“George A. Miller persuasively put forth the idea that we can process only about seven pieces of information in our conscious mind at any given moment. In other words, we are easily overwhelmed.”
― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

“You’ll make them feel safe. The voice in their head will begin to quiet down. The goal is to identify what your counterparts actually need (monetarily, emotionally, or otherwise) and get them feeling safe enough to talk and talk and talk some more about what they want. The latter will help you discover the former.”
― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

“great negotiators aim to use their skills to reveal the surprises they are certain exist. Experience will have taught them that they are best served by holding multiple hypotheses—about the situation, about the counterpart’s wants, about a whole array of variables—in their mind at the same time. Present and alert in the moment, they use all the new information that comes their way to test and winnow true hypotheses from false ones.”
― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

“I mean, have you ever tried to devise a mutually beneficial win-win solution with a guy who thinks he’s the messiah?”
― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

“You should engage the process with a mindset of discovery. Your goal at the outset is to extract and observe as much information as possible. Which, by the way, is one of the reasons that really smart people often have trouble being negotiators—they’re so smart they think they don’t have anything to discover.”
― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

“Aprendimos que negociar consiste en persuadir, no en vencer; en controlar, no en derrotar. Más”
― Chris Voss, Rompe la barrera del no: Negocia como si te fuera la vida en ello

“Negotiating does not mean browbeating or grinding someone down. It simply means playing the emotional game that human society is set up for. In this world, you get what you ask for; you just have to ask correctly. So claim your prerogative to ask for what you think is right.”
― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

“urge the heart rate back to normal.”
― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

“Humanízate. Usa tu nombre para presentarte y dilo de una manera amistosa y graciosa. Deja que la otra persona disfrute también de la interacción. Y consigue tu propio descuento.”
― Chris Voss, Rompe la barrera del no: Negocia como si te fuera la vida en ello

“En un estudio sobre los factores que componen la mentira,[17] Deepak Malhotra, catedrático de la Harvard Business School, y sus coautores averiguaron que los mentirosos emplean de media más palabras que las personas honestas y que utilizan muchos más pronombres de tercera persona: usan «él», «ella», «uno», «ellos», «suyo», etc. mucho más que «yo» con el fin de poner distancia entre ellos y la mentira.”
― Chris Voss, Rompe la barrera del no: Negocia como si te fuera la vida en ello

“Al margen de ser una forma de decir «no», otra de las ventajas de preguntar «¿cómo?» es que fuerza a la otra parte, de manera literal, a pensar y explicar cómo se puede llevar a cabo el acuerdo.”
― Chris Voss, Rompe la barrera del no: Negocia como si te fuera la vida en ello

“La clave es que, cuando alguien te da un consejo, te observará después para comprobar si lo sigues o no. Tendrá un interés personal en tu éxito. Así que lo que has hecho es reclutar a tu primer mentor no oficial.”
― Chris Voss, Rompe la barrera del no: Negocia como si te fuera la vida en ello

“«no hay que tomar nunca la iniciativa».”
― Chris Voss, Rompe la barrera del no: Negocia como si te fuera la vida en ello

“Conocer las motivaciones emocionales permite vender los beneficios de cualquier propuesta empleando un lenguaje que toque las teclas adecuadas.”
― Chris Voss, Rompe la barrera del no: Negocia como si te fuera la vida en ello

“One, separate the person—the emotion—from the problem; two, don’t get wrapped up in the other side’s position (what they’re asking for) but instead focus on their interests (why they’re asking for it) so that you can find what they really want; three, work cooperatively to generate win-win options; and, four, establish”
― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

“En este mundo uno consigue lo que pide, solo que hay que saber pedirlo correctamente. Así que reclama tu derecho a pedir lo que crees que es justo.”
― Chris Voss, Rompe la barrera del no: Negocia como si te fuera la vida en ello

“■​A good negotiator prepares, going in, to be ready for possible surprises; a great negotiator aims to use her skills to reveal the surprises she is certain to find.”
― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

“we were in too much of a hurry, driving too hard toward a quick solution; trying to be a problem solver, not a people mover.”
― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

“Poor implementation is the cancer that eats your profits.”
― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

“Who has control in a conversation, the guy listening or the guy talking? The listener, of course.”
― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

“Like I said before, the secret to gaining the upper hand in a negotiation is giving the other side the illusion of control. That’s why”
― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

“We’re all hungry for a map to joy, and when someone is courageous enough to draw it for us, we naturally follow.”
― Chris Voss, Never Split The Difference Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It. By Chris Voss Paperback 23 Mar 2017

“This is listening as a martial art, balancing the subtle behaviors of emotional intelligence and the assertive skills of influence, to gain access to the mind of another person. Contrary to popular opinion, listening is not a passive activity.”
― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

“mutually agreed-upon standards for evaluating those possible solutions.”
― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

“Their system was easy to follow and seductive, with four basic tenets. One, separate the person—the emotion—from the problem; two, don’t get wrapped up in the other side’s position (what they’re asking for) but instead focus on their interests (why they’re asking for it) so that you can find what they really want; three, work cooperatively to generate win-win options; and, four, establish”
― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

“Think of it like this: No “No” means no go.”
― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

“Please remember that our emphasis throughout the book is that the adversary is the situation and that the person that you appear to be in conflict with is actually your partner.”
― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

“Your job when faced with someone like this in a negotiation is to discover what they do not know and supply that information.”
― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It