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In this same way, look for maturation in a partner by noticing how respectful he is of:

Your feelings.
Your boundaries.
Your time.
Your possessions.
His possessions.
Our environment.
His employees, employer, or coworkers.
Other people’s feelings.

Responsibility means doing what you say you’re going to do.

He (or she) can take care of himself.

If your partner has grown up sufficiently, he’ll be able to: Earn enough money to support himself.

Know how to keep his living space relatively clean. Know how to feed himself.

Look for a partner who is up front about how he feels and what he wants, and someone whose actions match his or her words.

A partner who is honest:

1. Will not hide parts of his life or personality from you.
2. Will not tell you only what you want to hear in order to protect himself.
3. Will share the truth with you without your having to trick him into admitting it, or pry it out of him.

Honesty, integrity, and trustworthiness are essential ingredients for a healthy relationship.

Quality 3

Integrity

You deserve to have someone in your life who shows you his love and appreciation on a consistent basis.

Another way to describe emotional openness is ‘emotional generosity.’ We think of people as being generous with their money, or their time, but it’s so important to find a mate who is generous with his love. Generosity means to give freely, abundantly, and without restriction.

Has feelings.

Knows what he is feeling.

Chooses to share those feelings with you.

Knows how to express those feelings to you.

Quality 2

Emotional Openness

He has personal goals for his own self-improvement, and you can see specific, positive changes in him over time.

He is conscious of his blind spots and childhood programming, and is aware of what emotional baggage he has brought into your relationship.

He is willing to receive help and guidance in the form of books, tapes, lectures, seminars, and counseling if necessary.

Your partner is committed to learning everything he can about how to be a better person and a better spouse.

Quality 1

Commitment to Personal Growth

How capable is my partner of loving, period?

THE KEY TO CHOOSING THE RIGHT PARTNER IS TO LOOK FOR A PERSON WITH GOOD CHARACTER, NOT SIMPLY A GOOD PERSONALITY.

I know this may be difficult for you to understand, but that’s the way it is. I want you in my life, but not if you can’t accept my marriage and respect our relationship.

You need to respect our time and privacy.

If you can’t bring yourself to behave with respect around my spouse, then I do not wish to see you. You’ll either see us together and treat us with love, or not see us at all.

I have chosen my spouse to be my lifelong mate, and I expect you to treat her (him) with total respect, courtesy, and warmth. We’re a couple, and when you criticize or hurt my partner, it’s the same as hurting me.

IF YOUR PARTNER HAS TAKEN A STAND WITH HIS PARENT OR PARENTS, COMMUNICATED HIS FEELINGS, AND SET CLEAR BOUNDARIES AS TO WHAT BEHAVIOR HE WILL ACCEPT, YOU WILL NOT HAVE A PROBLEM REGARDLESS OF HOW TOXIC YOUR IN-LAWS MAY TRY TO BE.