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“His heart raced in his chest, and his palms were covered with sweat, humiliated by his loss of self-control. He really had been alone for too long, if he could mistake a tiny sliver of kindness and care from someone for sincere tenderness. Like an idiot.”
― Rou Bao Bu Chi Rou, The Husky and His White Cat Shizun: Erha He Ta De Bai Mao Shizun (Novel) Vol. 2

Mieko Kawakami
“What is dying anyway? I let this impossible question fill the darkness of my bedroom. I thought about how somebody was always dying somewhere, at any given moment. This isn’t a fable or a joke or an abstract idea. People are always dying. It’s a perfect truth. No matter how we live our lives, we all die sooner or later. In which case, living is really just waiting to die. And if that’s true, why bother living at all? Why was I even alive? I made myself crazy, tossing and turning, hyperventilat- ing. Then it hit me: dying is just like sleeping. You only know you’re sleeping when you wake up the next day, but if morn- ing never comes, you sleep forever. That must be what death is like. When someone dies, they don’t even know they’re dead. Because they never see it happen, nobody ever really dies. This hit me like a sucker punch.”
― Mieko Kawakami, Heaven
tags: death

Mieko Kawakami
“People are always dying. It's a perfect truth. No matter how we live our lives, we all die, sooner or later. In which case, living is really just waiting to die.”
― Mieko Kawakami, Heaven

Mieko Kawakami
“Without school, I could get by without seeing anyone or being seen by anyone. It was like being a piece of furniture in a room that nobody uses. I can't express how safe it felt never being seen.”
― Mieko Kawakami, Heaven

Kabi Nagata
“But I was happy to be falling apart. Getting hurt absolved me something. I thought it would lower the bar for other people to accept me... and then I could find a place where I belonged.
But I still wasn't anywhere close to the welcoming kindness of a hospital bed.”
― Kabi Nagata, My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness

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