PulpMonkey (Chompa)

“Because Donut sounded like a helium-drunk cat being crushed by a steamroller when she attempted to sing, that was why. And even though she wasn’t that bad of a dancer, when it came to making a song emerge from that tone-deaf gullet of hers, her rhythm was that of a drunk, three-legged donkey trying to negotiate its way down a set of ice-covered stairs.”
― Matt Dinniman, The Butcher's Masquerade

“New Achievement! Sex Pervert! A nipple ring? Really? The next thing you know, you’ll be waxing your perineum and attending those parties where you have to put your keys in a bowl. You’ll have to grow out your sideburns, buy a Trans Am, and you’ll no longer be able to make eye contact with your child’s orthodontist. Reward: Whores don’t get rewards.”
― Matt Dinniman, The Butcher's Masquerade

“There is no greater snare than the state of the man with whom all goes smoothly, and who mistakes his circumstances for his virtues.”
― Joseph Sheridan Le Fanu

“I see!" said Ana, nodding. "I just have one more question."
"Of course"
"What color was the clay?"
Farazi blinked, confused. "Clay? What clay?"
"The clay you must have stuck in your eyes and ears," said Ana, grinning, "to remain so amazingly fucking ignorant of everything about you.”
― Robert Jackson Bennett, The Tainted Cup