PulpMonkey (Chompa)

“New Achievement! Sex Pervert! A nipple ring? Really? The next thing you know, you’ll be waxing your perineum and attending those parties where you have to put your keys in a bowl. You’ll have to grow out your sideburns, buy a Trans Am, and you’ll no longer be able to make eye contact with your child’s orthodontist. Reward: Whores don’t get rewards.”
― Matt Dinniman, The Butcher's Masquerade

“You are right in supposing that I have not been led lightly into a belief in the marvelous— for what I have experienced is marvelous— and I have been forced by extraordinary evidence to credit that which ran counter, diametrically, to all my theories.”
― Joseph Sheridan Le Fanu, Carmilla

“Okay, buddy. We gotta be quick. You are balls deep in the wrong hole, and mom is pulling into the driveway. You get me?”
― Matt Dinniman, The Butcher's Masquerade

“Lulu had asked "How can you tell when they're right or wrong?"
He'd Chuckled. "That's easy. Usually if the party they're blaming is weaker than them, then they're making it all up. If the party they're blaming is stronger...well, that's when you really gotta pay attention to why they're complaining.”
― Matt Dinniman, Operation Bounce House