PulpMonkey (Chompa)

“I’m actually quite fond of the Twilight novels. Plus, I would never stoop so low as to disparage the work of an over-imaginative and obviously undersexed artist who managed to become a brazilianaire from barely-disguised erotica targeted at adolescent girls. However, I would like to take this opportunity to point out that your culture’s obsession with fictional, underaged heroes was absolutely misguided. Paul Atreides was fifteen years old. Harry Potter was just eleven in the beginning of the first book. The kids from Stranger Things were all tweens. Kid ‘n Play were (portrayed”
― Matt Dinniman, The Butcher's Masquerade

“There is no greater snare than the state of the man with whom all goes smoothly, and who mistakes his circumstances for his virtues.”
― Joseph Sheridan Le Fanu

“New Achievement! Sex Pervert! A nipple ring? Really? The next thing you know, you’ll be waxing your perineum and attending those parties where you have to put your keys in a bowl. You’ll have to grow out your sideburns, buy a Trans Am, and you’ll no longer be able to make eye contact with your child’s orthodontist. Reward: Whores don’t get rewards.”
― Matt Dinniman, The Butcher's Masquerade

“Okay, buddy. We gotta be quick. You are balls deep in the wrong hole, and mom is pulling into the driveway. You get me?”
― Matt Dinniman, The Butcher's Masquerade