The Butcher's Masquerade Quotes

“Trauma does that, I thought. It’s an explosion with your heart at the center. It changes everything all at once.”
― Matt Dinniman, The Butcher's Masquerade

“And I was so stupid, because I thought since I loved you, that meant you loved me.”
― Matt Dinniman, The Butcher's Masquerade

“My beautiful boy,” Miriam whispered as she turned to dust. “My beautiful boy.”
― Matt Dinniman, The Butcher's Masquerade

“The moment anybody becomes a citizen, the Syndicate bends them over and fucks them. I can’t stop you from getting fucked. But I am the condom. You guys have condoms on your world? Of course you do. Everybody has condoms. Your ass is gonna hurt no matter what, but at least you won’t have tryptic genital mites after.”
― Matt Dinniman, The Butcher's Masquerade

“Wait for my signal this time or you won’t be allowed to go to the party.” “I will kill your mother.”
― Matt Dinniman, The Butcher's Masquerade

“She looked up at me. “Viva la revolución, Carl.”
― Matt Dinniman, The Butcher's Masquerade

“I know. What we went through just now was only a taste of what’s coming, especially on the ninth floor. It’s going to get worse before it gets better. We’re going to lose more friends. We’re going to have to do some pretty horrible things just to survive. So I need you to keep that mask on. But one day... One day you’ll find yourself someplace safe and without worries and without everyone watching, and it’ll just fall right off. And it will hurt. You will cry for Firas and Gwen and Yolanda and Brandon and everybody else we’ve lost along the way, and you’ll be glad you had it on the whole time.”
― Matt Dinniman, The Butcher's Masquerade

“I have never claimed to be a smart person. We all do stupid things. A lot of times, people do stupid shit not because they are stupid, but because in the heat of the moment, they make rash decisions. It’s a different sort of thing. That’s my excuse here. Heat of the moment. At least that’s what I tell myself.”
― Matt Dinniman, The Butcher's Masquerade

“Everybody likes carnage when it’s not them.”
― Matt Dinniman, The Butcher's Masquerade

“This was also something that trauma could do. It could make you blind, and it could open your eyes wider than they’d ever been, all at the same time.”
― Matt Dinniman, The Butcher's Masquerade

“New Achievement! This little piggy made a boom boom! You deployed a bomb with the supple, curved sole of your foot. You took your perfectly-perfect, 30.004861 centimeter-long right foot and compressed it against an explosive device—a device named after me no less—and you gave it a naughty little shove before you pushed it out the door and detonated it. You killed them. You killed them all for your daddy.”
― Matt Dinniman, The Butcher's Masquerade

“Okay, buddy. We gotta be quick. You are balls deep in the wrong hole, and mom is pulling into the driveway. You get me?”
― Matt Dinniman, The Butcher's Masquerade

“Donut: OH, HONEY. YOU USED TO BE A SEX DOLL. I’M QUITE CERTAIN YOU CAN HANDLE ALL MANNER OF INDIGNITY. Samantha: DON’T SLUT SHAME ME. I’M GOING TO KILL YOUR MOTHER.”
― Matt Dinniman, The Butcher's Masquerade

“Donut took a breath and started to sing:
“Good girl, good girl, you’re a good girl, my princess.
“You’re like a root beer float. Oh yes, oh yes.
“I’d take it all back and never let you win. I wouldn’t do it all over again.
“I love you. I love you. I’m sorry, my princess.
“All eyes on me.
“All eyes on me.”
― Matt Dinniman, The Butcher's Masquerade

“She saw something too many parents miss. This petite, timid child wasn’t a reflection of herself. She was something much more wondrous. She was an unwritten story, one that could end up anywhere. A story where neither of the parents were the main character.”
― Matt Dinniman, The Butcher's Masquerade

“You’re wearing a mask right now, Donut, and you don’t know how to remove it. That’s okay. You don’t need to. Not yet. That mask is protecting you.”
― Matt Dinniman, The Butcher's Masquerade

“Sergeant-at-Arms. “Well, that’s a lie, now isn’t it? It should just be Sergeant-at-Arm, not arms,” Donut quipped. “The next time we see him, I hope you rip his other arm off, Carl. Then he’ll just be a Sergeant.”
― Matt Dinniman, The Butcher's Masquerade

“You’re not my person anymore,” Donut added. “Carl is. He’s always been.”
― Matt Dinniman, The Butcher's Masquerade

“And how is that machine greased? The universe’s four lubricants. Blood, tears, taxes, and lawyers.”
― Matt Dinniman, The Butcher's Masquerade

“I’m actually quite fond of the Twilight novels. Plus, I would never stoop so low as to disparage the work of an over-imaginative and obviously undersexed artist who managed to become a brazilianaire from barely-disguised erotica targeted at adolescent girls. However, I would like to take this opportunity to point out that your culture’s obsession with fictional, underaged heroes was absolutely misguided. Paul Atreides was fifteen years old. Harry Potter was just eleven in the beginning of the first book. The kids from Stranger Things were all tweens. Kid ‘n Play were (portrayed”
― Matt Dinniman, The Butcher's Masquerade

“I have never snored once in my life, Carl. I am both a princess and a cat. It’s quite literally impossible. Now quit talking nonsense and go to sleep.”
― Matt Dinniman, The Butcher's Masquerade

“They have a strong dislike for people named Josh and ska music.”
― Matt Dinniman, The Butcher's Masquerade

“But then they’ll just run away,” Donut said. “I’d run away if some crazy guy showed up at game night and pulled out a gun and said, ‘Let’s play Russian Roulette instead of spin the bottle.”
― Matt Dinniman, The Butcher's Masquerade

“Donut: WELL, OF COURSE WE’RE GOING TO TAKE IT OVER. HAVING MYSELF AND CARL ON THE PROGRAM IS THE EQUIVALENT OF HAVING AUDREY HEPBURN AND, I DON’T KNOW, MACHO MAN RANDY SAVAGE SUDDENLY SHOW UP AS GUEST STARS ON A PUBLIC ACCESS TELEVISION SHOW.”
― Matt Dinniman, The Butcher's Masquerade

“That’ll be me,” I called. “I’ll be the one responsible. And you should have thought of that before you sent them all off to die in my dungeon. It’s too bad you’re not in there, too. I guess you’re too old or too cowardly to face me.”
― Matt Dinniman, The Butcher's Masquerade

“Zockau? Zockau?” Mordecai cried. “You motherfuckers are in the goddamned capital?”
― Matt Dinniman, The Butcher's Masquerade

“Too bad it’s the Valtay. You poor bastards.”
― Matt Dinniman, The Butcher's Masquerade

“Probably dead. There’s maybe five hunters in the non-saferoom pub near the center of town. Place called Cold Stone Creamery. Louis: I love that place. Donut: OMG NOBODY BLOW UP THE ICE CREAM SHOP.”
― Matt Dinniman, The Butcher's Masquerade

“Oh shit, I thought, remembering something. “By the way,” I called out. “Have you guys ever noticed how awesomely-designed the Desperado Club is? It’s just amazing.”
― Matt Dinniman, The Butcher's Masquerade

“Cats don’t ask for permission. They never apologize. They’re soulless murderers. All of them.”
― Matt Dinniman, The Butcher's Masquerade