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Emily  Henry
“I carry pepper spray in this tote. And a gun.'
'What the fuck , he cried , putting the car in park. 'You're drunk with a gun flopping around in your wine bag?'
I buckled my seat belt. 'It was a joke. The gun part, not the 'killing you if you tried something' part. I meant that”
― Emily Henry, Beach Read
tags: humor

Emily  Henry
“Maybe we should date," Miles says.
I choke. He watches me coughing, an impish grin forming on his impish mouth. "Yes," I finally manage. "A shared cuckolding is the most fertile ground from which love could ever spring."
"Yeah, that," he says, "and it would piss them off.”
― Emily Henry, Funny Story

Maggie Stiefvater
“Whoa, whoa, whoa' said Hennessy. 'Pump the brakes, as the Pope would say”
― Maggie Stiefvater, Greywaren
tags: humor

Emily  Henry
“Daphne,” he tuts. “Daphne, Daphne, Daphne.” “Let me guess: I’m a clueless fool,” I say. He starts the car. “No, just a sweet, naive, beautiful little innocent, raised in captivity by a man who loves wheatgrass.”
― Emily Henry, Funny Story

Emily  Henry
“Wait!" He braces his hands against the counter, face brightening. "So he called to try and make you feel so pathetic you wouldn't come ruin his special day, and you told him we were dating?"
"I'm sorry," I say again.
"That fucking rules," he says.”
― Emily Henry, Funny Story

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