Danielle Eisner

“I have a perfect body. It’s in my trunk. —T-SHIRT”
― Darynda Jones, Sixth Grave on the Edge

“Remember, it’s all fun and games until somebody loses an eyeball, and then it’s, “Hey! free eyeball!” —T-SHIRT”
― Darynda Jones, Sixth Grave on the Edge

“Sometimes I write “drink coffee” on my to-do list just to feel like I’ve accomplished something. —STATUS UPDATE”
― Darynda Jones, Sixth Grave on the Edge

“You can't trust anything on the Internet."
"Can, too," I said, completed offended.
"So, if I posted a comment saying I was an Arabian prince from Milwaukee?"
"Yeah, but you're a big fat liar. You don't count. I mean, look at your dad. Pathological liar numeral uno. Lying is in your genes."
He leaned forward. There's only one thing in my jeans right now.”
― Darynda Jones, Sixth Grave on the Edge