Jonah

“Oh my heavens!" said Julian's disembodied voice. "I seem to have pulled my big meaty hamstring! However will I deliver this basket of raw human flesh to the orphanage?”
― Robert Bevan, Zombie Attack!!!

“Lemme get this straight,” Frank said. “You’re asking your axe to help your house become more human?”
― Kyle Kirrin, Shadeslinger

“Oh come on man,” said Dave. “That’s seriously not cool. You’re supposed to ride those, not use them as meat shields.” ”
― Robert Bevan, Critical Failures

“The House of the Venerable and Inscrutable Colonel was what they called it when they were speaking Chinese. Venerable because of his goatee, white as the dogwood blossom, a badge of unimpeachable credibility in Confucian eyes. Inscrutable because he had gone to his grave without divulging the Secret of the Eleven Herbs and Spices.”
― Neal Stephenson, The Diamond Age: Or, a Young Lady's Illustrated Primer