Horror Aficionados discussion
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If Your Blank Could Talk, What Would It Say?
"I'm expired."If your GARDEN could talk, what would it say?
"The dastardly chipmunk carried away another of our tomato brethren during the night. Can't you do something, for God's sake!"If a PUBLIC SWIMMING POOL could talk, what would it say?
"Why are there so many bandaids stuck in my filter?"If a Baywatch lifeguard's swimsuit could talk, what would it say?
"All of this bouncing around sure is wearing me out!"If your MOUSEPAD could talk, what would it say?
"Scape the crust off me, your mouse doesn't even track right anymore."If your Grandma's Attic could talk, what would it say?
"Those piles of Housekeeping magazines from 1937 is going to start a fire in my belly any day now."If your WORD PROGRAM could talk, what would it say?
"My, you used to be an ace speller. What's happened to you?"If your CONTACT LENS could talk, what would it say?
take me out dumbass, you don't need to correct perfect vision!If you BREAKFAST could talk, what would it say?
"Stop eating in front of the computer. Haven't you heard of the Zen aspect of enjoying your food fully? What's so great about the Horror Aficionados?"If your TOILET PAPER could talk, what would it say?
"You have to replace me pretty often, huh? Guess you'll grab the double rolls next time."If an ALIEN'S ANAL PROBE DEVICE could talk, what would it say?
"Take me to your sphincter."If your NAIL CLIPPER could talk, what would it say?
"If you'd quit eating mineral supplements, you wouldn't have to replace me every couple of months."If your CAR KEYS could talk, what would they say?
"We're so ashamed that you put colored rubber monkey faces over us. Are you too stupid to remember which key goes to which door?"If a FRIDGE LIGHT could talk, what would it say?
"I'm tired of turning on and off. Everything's the same here. Make up your mind about what you're going to eat!"If your BULLETIN BOARD could talk, what would it say?
"You never use me anymore, now that you have a ipad"If your CREDIT CARD could talk, what would it say?
"No, don't add the cost of the iPad on me! Budget, budget."If your CAR STEERING WHEEL could talk, what would it say?
"Why am I always covered in makeup?"If your DIARY could talk, what would it say?
"Very interesting things are happening in your life but you don't take the time to write them down!"If your YELLOW PAGES can talk, what would it say?
Why do they still waste so much paper printing me when nobody uses me anymore?If your BIBLE could talk, what would it say?
"I'm an eBook! Where is my guilded leather cover?"If your NECKLACE could talk, what would it say?
"I know silver doesn't turn green, but damn would it hurt you to clean me once in a while?"If your ANKLET could talk, what would it say?
"Yoo-hoo. I'm in a box way on the bottom of 5 other boxes full of books, and behind other stacks of 5 boxes each."If your SNACK DRAWER could talk, what would it say?
"Lets see chips, popcorn, tootsie rolls, kisses, reese's, kit kats, york peppermint patty's, mounds, dove chocolates, 3 musketeers, damn there's nothing in there i want!"If your FREEZER could talk, what would it say?
* I'm going to Lori's house for snacks *"Despite what your mother says, fish does not last for 8 years, even if frozen."
If your HOBBY CLOSET could talk, what would it say?
*You got the baklava!*"Please clean me out. I know you told him the last time was it, the last time, but please he's a slob!"
If your FLASHLIGHT could talk, what would it say?
Please stop letting everyone else leave me all over the house! I have a specific place I belong for a reason - so you can find me in the dark!If your DRIVEWAY could talk, what would it say?
"With all the rain we've had i blend right in with the yard!"If your PET BUNNY could talk, what would it say?
According to my friend who has pet bunnies they say "I HAVE AXES!" and "Stay away from the hunan prostitutes." I think.
If your COLLECTION OF ----- could talk, what would it say?
*you fill in whatever you collect*
*I have a collection of kitchen gadgets. A huge collection. Brainycat might mistake them for sex toys.*"Please use us. Why did you buy us if you're just going to use a knife and a cutting board?"
If your VIBRATOR could talk, what would it say? (Has this been done before? It's so obvious.)
"If your VIBRATOR could talk, what would it say? (Has this been done before? It's so obvious."If I had to guess, I'd say Lori posted that already!
But I'm too lazy to look.
Well just for shits and giggles i scanned all 444 messages. I only found 12 that's been used over. Fridge-2, stereo-2, camera-2, pet-3, flash light-2, condoms-3, penis-2, sperm-2, just caught fish-2, car-2, favorite book-2, last but not least VIBRATOR- the second time Thoa, Jerrod the first time. Message number 125. For once it wasn't me, i did penis does that count?Thoa,If your VIBRATOR could talk, what would it say? (Has this been done before? It's so obvious.)
"Hey knock the dust off and have a go!"
If your SHOWER HEAD could talk, what would it say?
"Hey, knock the dust off and have a go!"If your VAGINA could talk, what would it say?
*Probably same answer? LOL*
"Hey out there, how about you find a new penis to play with? Damn with the same old same old!"If the ELEPHANTS at the zoo could talk, what would they say?
Stop throwing peanuts at me!!If your couch could talk, what would it say?
"Get your ASS off me and do something!"If your fingers could talk what would they say?
"It's time to trim these nails, it's getting hard to type."if THE SPACE UNDER YOUR BED could talk, what would it say?
"It's about time you vacuum under me. These dust bunnies are multiplying!"If your BELLY BUTTON could talk, what would it say?
"Your almost there, you just have to go a little lower with your tongue"If your GROCERY CART could talk, what would it say?
"I wish you'd know where everything is. Look, it's Big Ben!"If your HAND SANITIZER could talk, what would it say?
"If you'd stop putting your hands where they didn't belong you wouldn't need me so often."If your TONGUE could talk, what would it say?
"No, not another breath mint! You have to see someone about your mint addiction."If your KEY CHAINS could talk, what would it say?
"Why am I always wet?"If your COMPUTER could talk, what would it say?
"I can feel the love oozing out of your pores."If your CELL PHONE could talk, what would it say?
"Buy me!"*I don't have a cell phone yet.
If your Love Life could talk, what would it say?
*speaking of computers and oozing, my coworker recently got a laptop assigned to him that belonged to a former employee, fired for surfing tons of porn sites. I told my coworker he might want to clean off the keyboard with some alchohol, or acid, or have it exorcised....
"Ha HA HA You call this a love life? Damn cobwebs, dust that thing off and use it!"If your WATER BONG could talk, what would it say?
"If I could remember what I was going to say I would."If your DOOR KNOB could talk, what would it say?
"Don't forget to lock me. Those naked guys with enhanced dicks all over your computer screen for your PNR ladies will have you do some heavy explaining to your family."If your HANDS could talk, what would they say?
"It's not fair damn it! You always get pedicures, look at you nails for pete's sake, their chipped all to hell!"If your POOL CUE could talk, what would it say?
If your CONDOMS could talk, what would they say?