Comical Quotes

Quotes tagged as "comical" Showing 1-30 of 54
James Dashner
“Shouldn't someone give a pep talk or something?' Minho asked...
"Go ahead," Newt replied.
Minho nodded and faced the crowd. 'Be careful,' he said dryly. 'Don't die.'
Thomas would have laughed if he could, but he was too scared for it to come out.
'Great. We're all bloody inspired,' Newt answered.”
James Dashner, The Maze Runner

“Girls are always complaining that they can never meet a nice guy. Nice guys are everywhere. The problem isn’t that there aren't any nice guys, the problem is that all of the nice guys are ugly.”
Carroll Bryant

Lloyd Alexander
“-"He loved her...It was noble of him. It was beautiful."

-"It was stupid.”
Lloyd Alexander, Westmark

Julia Quinn
“The look Anthony shot at his sister was so comically malevolent Simon nearly laughed. He managed to restrain himself, but mostly just because he was fairly certain that any show of humor would cause Anthony's fist to lose its battle with his brain, with Simon's face emerging as the conflict's primary casualty.”
Julia Quinn, The Duke and I

“I've never been lost, but I was mighty turned around for three days once.”
Daniel Boone

Justin Somper
Well Connor thought ruefully At least now I know who to thank for my anger issues.”
Justin Somper, Black Heart

“One should never give up on hope. Unless that's the name of the girl who cheated on you in which case, yeah, give her up.”
Carroll Bryant

Jennifer Niven
“It's okay to laugh, you know. The earth's not going to split open. You're not going to hell. Believe me. If there's a hell, I'll be there ahead of you, and they'll be too busy with me to even check you in.”
Jennifer Niven, All the Bright Places

Stieg Larsson
“Stark raving mad.”
Stieg Larsson

Roman Payne
“...You see I believe in that stuff to: yoga and mystical powers. I once knew a man who could kill himself on command. Can you believe that? . . . Why do you laugh? . . . Believe it! By will of his own mind, he could make his heart stop beating for good' My neighbor poised and looked seriously at me, searching in my eyes. '...You laugh!' he repeated once more… 'You laugh, but he was a master at it! He could commit suicide at his own will!'
Indeed, hearty laughter streamed through my nose. 'Could he do it perpetually?' I asked.
'Perpetually...?' My neighbor rubbed his waxy chin.
'I mean, is he still able to do it?'
'I’m not sure I understand.'
'Well? Then is he dead…?!'
My neighbor's puzzled face slowly began to transform into a look of realization. 'But sir,' he said, 'Of course he’s dead! I mean to say... this man could kill himself on command, you see. And you don’t come back from the dead!'
The two of us found ourselves crossing to the door so I could let my visitor out. I slapped him with friendliness on the shoulder.
'No, you don’t come back from the dead,' I agreed.”
Roman Payne

Tessa Dare
“What is the world coming to, with these modern women? A man can't tell them what to do.”
Tessa Dare, Twice Tempted by a Rogue

“Knowledge may be power, but half of what I know I wish I could forget.”
Carroll Bryant

“All I wanted for Christmas was a New Years Eve party that I would never forget. Too bad I got too drunk to remember it.”
Carroll Bryant

Haruki Murakami
“It seems to me that very sad things always contain an element of the comical”
Haruki Murakami, Blind Willow, Sleeping Woman

Lewis Carroll
“How should I know?" said Alice, surprised at her own courage. "It's no business of mine."
The Queen turned crimson with fury, and, after glaring at her for a moment like a wild beast, began screaming "Off with her head! Off with--"
"Nonsense!" said Alice, very loudly and decidedly, and the Queen was silent.”
Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland / Through the Looking-Glass

Kevin J. Anderson
“I have a feeling we're mooning a mean junkyard dog, all brave and laughing - until the dog's leash breaks”
Kevin J. Anderson

Daniel Quinn
“We made it back to the airport without getting mugged, stoned, shot at, pounced on, bombed, shelled, garroted, gassed, pitched into, caught in a cross fire, sniped at, blockaded, napalmed, or trip-wired. No one even hit us with a water balloon.”
Daniel Quinn, My Ishmael

“What goes up must come down. Which is why we invented Viagra, to make it stay up a little longer.”
Carroll Bryant

“You dare quarrel with me Doerwyne?

She wrinkled her nose. "It's not quarreling to express an opinion'"

"Women don't have opinions."

"Then I must be a man, because I have plenty.”
Georgia Fox, The Virgin Proxy

Paul Beatty
“There's a certain quixotic calm to an empty school hallway.”
Paul Beatty, Tuff

Paul Beatty
“Winston couldn't remember the last time he'd had one of these lonesome summer weekdays. He felt betrayed. How dare his friends live the portions of their lives that didn't include him? On days like this, he used to shovel breakfast cereal into his mouth, then bolt outside to play, only to discover nine-tenths of his world was missing. Downcast, he'd return home and skim his sole Hardy Boys mystery, The Missing Chums, blind to the title's irony. After a few boring pages, he'd behead a few of his sister's dolls, then fight her off with a knife. Then they'd share a cantaloupe half, arguing about whether it tasted better with or without salt.”
Paul Beatty

Paul Beatty
“Spencer asked why he warranted an embrace from Winston rather than the standard soul shake. "Rabbi, that n_____ got stories to tell, but the fucked-up thing is, he so deep in the life, he can't tell them.”
Paul Beatty, Tuff

“Throughout history, parents have tried to name their offspring in a manner that would foretell the trajectory of their future. It’s one of the first spells humans encounter in this life. Little did your parents know what would happen today, for you, because of your name, but they blessed this day for you.”
Linda Armstrong, The Zombie Wizards of Ala-ka

“The human doesn’t need long mathematical equations to hit a home run in baseball. The human body already understands the math involved and can do it with just some practice. Isn’t that wonderful?”
Linda Armstrong, The Zombie Wizards of Ala-ka

“If you were dead, would you want your body to decompose and be eaten by worms until it laid scattered in a zillion pieces as worm dung? Or would you rather have a purpose, find meaning in death and help the generations that come after you?”
Linda Armstrong, The Zombie Wizards of Ala-ka

“Cats are the closest thing to zombies in living form, as they have nine lives. For zombies, a cat is like a sheepdog for the sheep. They will lead zombies quite nicely.”
Linda Armstrong, The Zombie Wizards of Ala-ka

“Zombies never die. They only rest in pieces.”
Linda Armstrong, The Zombie Wizards of Ala-ka

“Through the years, you’ve released parts of you. Some went into the sewer, others you left at your friends’ houses, some on the sidewalk while riding your bike as a kid. Your body is used to being taken apart by pieces and put back together. Swapping parts is hardwired into human existence. It takes on a much larger role in death.”
Linda Armstrong, The Zombie Wizards of Ala-ka

“Just as you drop body parts, those parts reassemble, and have done so continuously over the history of the earth. People decompose, become dirt, dirt becomes vegetables and fruit, animals and people eat the food that grows from the dirt that was once a body. It is all one big recycling program the earth does.”
Linda Armstrong, The Zombie Wizards of Ala-ka

“Death lies not in being dead, but in acting dead.”
Linda Armstrong, The Zombie Wizards of Ala-ka

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