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The Crimson Fucker > The Crimson Fucker's Quotes

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  • #1
    J.R.R. Tolkien
    “You cannot pass," he said. The orcs stood still, and a dead silence fell. "I am a servant of the Secret Fire, wielder of the flame of Anor. You cannot pass. The dark fire will not avail you, flame of Udûn. Go back to the Shadow! You cannot pass.”
    ― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring
    tags: balrog, gandalf, guardianship, orc
    817 likes

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  • #2
    Albert Einstein
    “Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.”
    ― Albert Einstein
    tags: attributed-no-source, human-nature, humor, infinity, philosophy, science, stupidity, universe
    148730 likes

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  • #3
    Lewis Carroll
    “She generally gave herself very good advice, (though she very seldom followed it).”
    ― Lewis Carroll, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland / Through the Looking-Glass
    5879 likes

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  • #4
    Groucho Marx
    “I sent the club a wire stating, PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THAT WILL ACCEPT ME AS A MEMBER.”
    ― Groucho Marx, Groucho and Me
    tags: clique, clubs, humor, membership
    1875 likes

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  • #5
    Maurice Switzer
    “It is better to remain silent at the risk of being thought a fool, than to talk and remove all doubt of it.”
    ― Maurice Switzer, Mrs. Goose, Her Book
    tags: misattributed-to-abraham-lincoln, misattributed-to-mark-twain, remaining-silent, wisdom
    44349 likes

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  • #6
    Oscar Wilde
    “I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.”
    ― Oscar Wilde, The Happy Prince and Other Stories
    tags: intelligence, self-deprecation
    71782 likes

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  • #7
    “Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results.”
    ― Narcotics Anonymous
    tags: humor, insanity, life, misattributed-ben-franklin, misattributed-mark-twain, misattributed-to-einstein
    64746 likes

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  • #8
    Robert A. Heinlein
    “Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.”
    ― Robert A. Heinlein
    tags: cats, humor, women
    28829 likes

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  • #9
    Rita Mae Brown
    “The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four people is suffering from a mental illness. Look at your 3 best friends. If they're ok, then it's you.”
    ― Rita Mae Brown
    tags: humor, insanity
    12677 likes

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  • #10
    Douglas Adams
    “The story so far:
    In the beginning the Universe was created.
    This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.”
    ― Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe
    tags: fantasy, humor, scifi
    23479 likes

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  • #11
    Woody Allen
    “I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.”
    ― Woody Allen
    tags: humor, life, sex
    6557 likes

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  • #12
    “Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away.”
    ― Paul Terry
    tags: exercise, humor, laziness, misattributed-to-hutchins
    24402 likes

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  • #13
    W.C. Fields
    “I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally. ”
    ― W.C. Fields
    18671 likes

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  • #14
    Woody Allen
    “Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.”
    ― Woody Allen
    tags: art, humor, life
    2458 likes

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  • #15
    Terry Pratchett
    “If cats looked like frogs we'd realize what nasty, cruel little bastards they are. Style. That's what people remember.”
    ― Terry Pratchett, Lords and Ladies
    tags: cats, humor, life
    5175 likes

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  • #16
    Terry Pratchett
    “Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life.”
    ― Terry Pratchett, Jingo
    tags: humor, proverb
    12954 likes

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  • #17
    Terry Pratchett
    “Some humans would do anything to see if it was possible to do it. If you put a large switch in some cave somewhere, with a sign on it saying 'End-of-the-World Switch. PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH', the paint wouldn't even have time to dry.”
    ― Terry Pratchett, Thief of Time
    tags: humor
    10164 likes

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  • #18
    Charles J. Sykes
    “Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. We all could.”
    ― Charles J. Sykes, Dumbing Down Our Kids: Why American Children Feel Good About Themselves But Can't Read, Write or Add
    tags: humor, misattributed-to-bill-gates, nerd, nerds, work
    15550 likes

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  • #19
    Bill Watterson
    “Reality continues to ruin my life.”
    ― Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes
    tags: calvin-and-hobbes, humor, life
    21210 likes

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  • #20
    Terry Pratchett
    “Just erotic. Nothing kinky. It's the difference between using a feather and using a chicken.”
    ― Terry Pratchett, Eric
    tags: erotic, kinky, suggestive
    1506 likes

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  • #21
    Christopher Moore
    “People, generally, suck.”
    ― Christopher Moore, The Stupidest Angel: A Heartwarming Tale of Christmas Terror
    tags: humor
    2437 likes

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  • #22
    Don't ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody.
    “Don't ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody.”
    ― J. D. Salinger
    tags: salinger, stories
    6586 likes

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  • #23
    John Waters
    “Sometimes I wish I was a woman, just so I could have an abortion.”
    ― John Waters
    273 likes

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  • #24
    J.R.R. Tolkien
    “Three Rings for the Elven-kings under the sky,
    Seven for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone,
    Nine for Mortal Men, doomed to die,
    One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne
    In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.
    One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them,
    One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them.
    In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.”
    ― J.R.R. Tolkien
    4319 likes

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  • #25
    Franz Kafka
    “Now I can look at you in peace; I don't eat you any more.”
    ― Franz Kafka
    tags: fish, vegetarianism
    706 likes

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  • #26
    Frank Zappa
    “So many books, so little time.”
    ― Frank Zappa
    tags: books, humor
    152091 likes

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  • #27
    Steven Erikson
    “Tell me, Tool, what dominates your thoughts?'
    The Imass shrugged before replying.
    'I think of futility, Adjunct.'
    'Do all Imass think about futility?'
    'No. Few think at all.'
    'Why is that?'
    The Imass leaned his head to one side and regarded her.
    'Because Adjunct, it is futile.”
    ― Steven Erikson, Gardens of the Moon
    tags: malazan
    441 likes

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  • #28
    Bill Watterson
    “People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.”
    ― Bill Watterson, The Calvin and Hobbes Tenth Anniversary Book
    tags: idiots, life-humor
    2366 likes

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  • #29
    Bill Watterson
    “It's not denial. I'm just selective about the reality I accept.”
    ― Bill Watterson
    5430 likes

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  • #30
    Bill Watterson
    “The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.”
    ― Bill Watterson
    1638 likes



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Tags From The Crimson Fucker’s Quotes

balrog
gandalf
guardianship
orc
attributed-no-source
human-nature
humor
infinity
philosophy
science
stupidity
universe
clique
clubs
membership
misattributed-to-abraham-lincoln
misattributed-to-mark-twain
remaining-silent
wisdom
intelligence
self-deprecation
insanity
life
misattributed-ben-franklin
misattributed-mark-twain
misattributed-to-einstein
cats
women
fantasy
scifi
sex
exercise
laziness
misattributed-to-hutchins
art
proverb
misattributed-to-bill-gates
nerd
nerds
work
calvin-and-hobbes
erotic
kinky
suggestive
salinger
stories
fish
vegetarianism
books
malazan
idiots
life-humor