Life Humor Quotes

Quotes tagged as "life-humor" Showing 1-30 of 36
Bill Watterson
“People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.”
Bill Watterson, The Calvin And Hobbes: Tenth Anniversary Book

Bill Watterson
“CALVIN:
Isn't it strange that evolution would give us a sense of humor?

When you think about it, it's weird that we have a physiological response to absurdity. We laugh at nonsense. We like it. We think it's funny.

Don't you think it's odd that we appreciate absurdity? Why would we develop that way? How does it benefit us?

HOBBES:
I suppose if we couldn't laugh at the things that don't make sense, we couldn't react to a lot of life.”
Bill Watterson

Karl Kraus
“You don't even live once.”
Karl Kraus, Half-Truths and One-and-a-Half Truths: Selected Aphorisms

Josh Stern
“Who enjoys life more? Well to start with, definitely the Living”
Josh Stern, And That’s Why I’m Single

“I don’t know why people have become so angry, but I do wish they’d be happy about it.”
Anthony P. Mauro, Sr

“The two things I remember most about college are forgetting what I learned and spending a fortune for the privilege.”
Anthony P. Mauro, Sr

“Call me nostalgic, but I miss the days when the world made sense and we could slap some into people.”
Anthony P. Mauro, Sr

“I know that people say ignorance is bliss, but I say it’s incredibly irritating - and usually to someone's face.”
Anthony P. Mauro, Sr

“When I was young, I would avoid people with sniffles so I wouldn’t catch their colds. Now that I’m older, I don't need a reason.”
Anthony P. Mauro, Sr

“The T-shirts say the future is female, but I'm hoping the future is human... or we’ll all be out of a job.”
Anthony P. Mauro, Sr

“The T-shirts say the future is female, but I'm hoping the future is human... or we’ll all go the way of the mastodons.”
Anthony P. Mauro, Sr

“Young people are wearing T-shirts that say, "The future is female." It makes you wonder whether they still teach about continuation of a species in school.”
Anthony P. Mauro, Sr

“I’m always amazed by morning TV hosts and their ability to cook the insignificant to perfection.”
Anthony P. Mauro, Sr

“I’m always amazed by morning TV hosts and their ability to cook triviality to perfection.”
Anthony P. Mauro, Sr

“Let the optimist and pessimist prattle over half the glass. I’m a pragmatist; I see the matter best settled by drinking so we can move on to the next round.”
Anthony P. Mauro, Sr

“We've become a species of such excessive sensitivities and complaints as to be unbearable company for one another. That’s why there are pandemics that send us into isolation; it’s nature’s way of parenting a time-out.”
Anthony P. Mauro, Sr

“My daughter joked that half the women in the world are crazy, I laughed and wondered when I'd meet meet the other half.”
Anthony P. Mauro, Sr

“There's much confusion surrounding the Covid shot. The effectiveness of the shot is less than promised, there are breakthrough infections to those that got the shot and emerging variants that will necessitate the need for booster shots, there was a rush to produce the shot, there are no “long term” studies to support the shot, people that contract Covid have a more robust immunity than provided by the shot - but are being told they must get the shot, and there’s the fact that less than 1 of 100 people dies from Covid. Worsening the confusion, some people that got the shot are becoming upset with people that didn’t get the shot because they are spreading the infection to those that got the shot though promised they'd be protected from infection. Given the confusion, it's surprising there aren't more people deciding to give waiting to get the shot “a shot.”
Anthony P. Mauro, Sr

“My daughter jokes that half the women in the world are crazy, I disagree and hold out hope I'll meet the other half.”
Anthony P. Mauro, Sr

“My daughter joked that half the women in the world are crazy, I disagreed and told her someday I expect to meet the other half.”
Anthony P. Mauro, Sr

“My daughter joked that half the women in the world are crazy, I said someday I'd like to meet the other half.”
Anthony P. Mauro, Sr

“People can sit in judgment of me all they want, the fact is they’d get way too tired if they stood in judgement.”
Anthony P. Mauro, Sr

“My daughter joked that half the women in the world are crazy; I was relieved to learn there's another half.”
Anthony P. Mauro, Sr

“I tell people not to stand in judgement of me. After all, it’s easier to simply sit in judgement.”
Anthony P. Mauro, Sr

“Only the most miserable simpletons will stand in judgment of others, and the rest of us are smart enough to sit in judgment.”
Anthony P. Mauro, Sr

“There are so many people that stand in judgement of me that I’ve begun to feel self-conscious, so I’ve asked them to sit in judgement instead.”
Anthony P. Mauro, Sr

“People my age have learned it’s hurtful to stand in judgement of another human being. We sit in judgement; it’s easier on the knees.”
Anthony P. Mauro, Sr

“I’m too wise and gray-haired to think I can stand in judgement of others. Instead, I’ve resigned myself to sit in judgement; it’s much easier on the feet.”
Anthony P. Mauro, Sr

“I’m too old to stand in judgement of people. Instead, I’ve resigned myself to sit in judgement; it’s much easier on the feet.”
Anthony P. Mauro, Sr

“I’m too old to stand in judgement of people. That's why I sit in judgement; it’s much easier on the feet.”
Anthony P. Mauro, Sr

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