Hailey > Hailey's Quotes

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#1

“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”
― Mae West

tags: humor, life

119255 likes

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#2

“I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.”
― Marilyn Monroe

tags: attributed-no-source, best, life, love, misattributed-marilyn-monroe, mistakes, out-of-control, truth, worst

165376 likes

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#3

“He's like a drug for you, Bella.”
― Stephenie Meyer, Eclipse

19589 likes

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#4

“No woman gets an orgasm from shining the kitchen floor. ”
― Betty Friedan

2102 likes

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#5

“A room without books is like a body without a soul.”
― Marcus Tullius Cicero

tags: attributed-no-source, books, simile, soul

135711 likes

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#6

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.”
― Bernard M. Baruch

tags: ataraxy, be-yourself, confidence, fitting-in, individuality, misattributed-dr-seuss, those-who-matter

130342 likes

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#7

“People, generally, suck.”
― Christopher Moore, The Stupidest Angel: A Heartwarming Tale of Christmas Terror

tags: humor

2436 likes

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#8

“Everyone looks retarded once you set your mind to it.”
― David Sedaris

tags: humor, perception, retardation

1414 likes

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#9

“Don't leave a piece of jewelry at his house so you can go back and get it later; he may be with his real girlfriend.”
― Amy Sedaris, I Like You: Hospitality Under the Influence

tags: advice, affairs, dating, jewelry, life, love, men, relationships, romance, women

1101 likes

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#10

“I've seen more intelligence in the crotch lice of harem whores.”
― Christopher Moore, Practical Demonkeeping

tags: humor, insult

177 likes

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#11

“Older men declare war. But it is youth that must fight and die.”
― Herbert Hoover

tags: age, death, fighting, old-age, war, youth

3314 likes

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#12

“Being a woman is a terribly difficult trade since it consists principally of dealings with men.”
― Joseph Conrad, Chance

tags: women

12382 likes

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#13

“What I don't understand is how women can pour hot wax on their bodies, let it dry, then rip out every single hair by its root and still be scared of spiders.”
― Jerry Seinfeld

215 likes

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#14

“You have decided being scared is caused mostly by thinking. ”
― David Foster Wallace

316 likes

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#15

“A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she's a tramp.”
― Joan Rivers

tags: mistake, sex, tramp, woman

531 likes

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#16

“It's a match made in heaven...by a retarded angel.”
― Woody Allen

tags: absurd

930 likes

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#17

“The difference between sex and love is that sex relieves tension and love causes it.”
― Woody Allen

2357 likes

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#18

“My brain? That's my second favorite organ.”
― Woody Allen

tags: humor

408 likes

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#19

“I'd never join a club that would allow a person like me to become a member.”
― Woody Allen

tags: self-deprecating, woody-allen

436 likes

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#20

“I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.”
― Woody Allen

347 likes

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Tags From Hailey’s Quotes

humor
life
attributed-no-source
best
love
misattributed-marilyn-monroe
mistakes
out-of-control
truth
worst
books
simile
soul
ataraxy
be-yourself
confidence
fitting-in
individuality
misattributed-dr-seuss
those-who-matter
perception
retardation
advice
affairs
dating
jewelry
men
relationships
romance
women
insult
age
death
fighting
old-age
war
youth
mistake
sex
tramp
woman
absurd
self-deprecating
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