Quotes - Nick Jones (laneit) (Randolph, MA) Showing 1-30 of 37

#1

“People, generally, suck.”
― Christopher Moore, The Stupidest Angel: A Heartwarming Tale of Christmas Terror

tags: humor

2436 likes

#2

“Mutilated corpses with a chance of afternoon showers. I got dressed and went to work. ”
― Jeff Lindsay

62 likes

#3

“We all die. The goal isn't to live forever, the goal is to create something that will.”
― Chuck Palahniuk, Diary

9206 likes

#4

“That's the beauty of argument, if you argue correctly, you're never wrong.”
― Christopher Buckley

tags: argument, humor, right, thank-you-for-smoking, wrong

106 likes

#5

“You can't lie to your soul.”
― Irvine Welsh, Porno

tags: honesty, introspection

2232 likes

#6

“I was anti-everything and everyone. I didn't want people around me. This aversion was not some big crippling anxiety; merely a mature recognition of my own psychological vulnerability and my lack of suitability as a companion. Thoughts jostled for space in my crowded brain as i struggled to give them some order which might serve to motivate my listless life.”
― Irvine Welsh, The Acid House

190 likes

#7

“Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well.”
― Mark Twain

34483 likes

#8

“The story so far:
In the beginning the Universe was created.
This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.”
― Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

tags: humor, scifi

23473 likes

#9

“I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally. ”
― W.C. Fields

18672 likes

#10

“Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.”
― Mark Twain

tags: truth

16222 likes

#11

“The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.”
― George Carlin

tags: humor, insanity, lies, lying, self-indulgence, truth

19803 likes

#12

“The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, 'You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I’m just not close enough to get the job done.”
― George Carlin

862 likes

#13

“I don't have pet peeves - I have major psychotic fucking hatreds.”
― George Carlin

1325 likes

#14

“Life is a disease: sexually transmitted, and invariably fatal.”
― Neil Gaiman

6450 likes

#15

“God created war so that Americans would learn geography.”
― Mark Twain

tags: americans, geography, war

7540 likes

#16

“At the time, my life just seemed too complete, and maybe we have to break everything to make something better out of ourselves.”
― Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club

tags: life

1930 likes

#17

“You are not your job, you're not how much money you have in the bank. You are not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You are not your fucking khakis. You are all singing, all dancing crap of the world.”
― Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club

tags: identity

3242 likes

#18

“When everything goes to hell, the people who stand by you without flinching -- they are your family. ”
― Jim Butcher

tags: family

2946 likes

#19

“Paranoid? Probably. But just because you're paranoid doesn't mean there isn't an invisible demon about to eat your face.”
― Jim Butcher, Storm Front

tags: demon, paranoia, paranoid

1480 likes

#20

“People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.”
― Bill Watterson, The Calvin and Hobbes Tenth Anniversary Book

tags: idiots, life-humor

2366 likes

#21

“It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything.”
― Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club

tags: loss

9427 likes

#22

“Remember to always be yourself. Unless you suck.”
― Joss Whedon

tags: individuality

3630 likes

#23

“I'm killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness.”
― Bill Watterson

tags: calvin-and-hobbes, humor, life

2726 likes

#24

“Everyone looks retarded once you set your mind to it.”
― David Sedaris

tags: humor, perception, retardation

1414 likes

#25

“It's so hard to forget pain, but it's even harder to remember sweetness. We have no scar to show for happiness. We learn so little from peace.”
― Chuck Palahniuk, Diary

tags: happiness, pain, peace, scar, sweetness

15770 likes

#26

“Basically, I have two speeds.... Hostile or smart-aleck. Your choice.”
― James Patterson, Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports

tags: humor

4492 likes

#27

“Would it save you a lot of time if I just gave up and went mad now?”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

tags: british, humor, science-fiction, social-commentary, thumb, towel

3663 likes

#28

“Because you can't argue with all the fools in the world. It's easier to let them have their way, then trick them when they're not paying attention.”
― Christopher Paolini

tags: common-sense, humor, smart

3171 likes

#29

“I suppose I'll have to add the force of gravity to my list of enemies.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Penultimate Peril

tags: humor

5065 likes

#30

“It's not denial. I'm just selective about the reality I accept.”
― Bill Watterson

5430 likes

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