*＊✿❀ n c (𝐻𝑜𝓅𝑒𝓁&#x1 ❀✿＊* > *＊✿❀ n c's Quotes

“Serpine underestimates you. Everyone underestimates you. You're stronger than they know. You're stronger than you know - Skulduggery”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant

“Skulduggery," the tall man said eventually, his voice deep and resonant, "trouble follows in your wake, doesn't it?"
"I wouldn't say follows," Skulduggery answered. "It more kind of sits around and waits for me to get there.”
― Derek Landy

“There’s no such thing as winning or losing. There is won and there is lost, there is victory and defeat. There are absolutes. Everything in between is still left to fight for.”
― Derek Landy - Skulduggery Pleasant

“Kenspeckle: Have you eaten?
Valkyrie: One of your assistants brought me a burger for breakfast
Kenspeckle: I meant, have you eaten sensibly?
Valkyrie: I was very sensible while I was eating the burger. Didn't miss my mouth once”
― Derek Landy, Playing with Fire

“Serpine: Well, Skulduggery? Where is that tired old defiance - the taunting, the goading? Where are the endless heroic clinches? Aren't you going to look me in the eye and tell me to do my worst?
Skulduggery: Actually, I was going to ask that you go easy on me. I'm feeling kind of tender today
Serpine: This is your one chance. Tell me where the key is
Skulduggery:OK
Serpine: Really?
Skulduggery: No, only joking. Do your worst.”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant

“And I have lifetimes inside me, I'm the girl you see standing here,and I'm a cranky old professor, and I'm a peace-loving man, and I'm a killer and a maid and a king and a peasant. I am a dozen more. You think you're old? You got nothing on me.”
― Derek Landy

“We could wear disguises," said Frightening.
Aurora nodded quickly. "Like a false beard. I've always wanted to wear a false beard."
Vex frowned. "But you're a woman."
"Exactly. They'd never suspect it was me.”
― Derek Landy, The Maleficent Seven

“The fate of the world depends upon whether or not you can bring yourself to visit your relatives ..." ~ Skulduggery Pleasant”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant

“*After Skulduggery kills Valkyrie*
Skulduggery: This has been a good day so far, all things considered, I have the location of the Grotesquey and I got to kill Valkyrie, which admittedly is something I've been wanting to do since I met her, she can be incredibly annoying
Scapegrace: Um
Skulduggery: She hardly ever shut up, I pretended to be the friends with her, but honestly, I just felt sorry for the poor girl. Not the brightest you know.
Valkyrie: You're such a goon.”
― Derek Landy, Playing with Fire

“You were supposed to be keeping an eye on the place," Donegan said.
"I was," Gracious yawned.
"You were asleep."
"I was resting my eyes."
"You were snoring."
"I was exercising my lungs.”
― Derek Landy

“Strong-willed, intelligent, sharp-tongued, doesn’t suffer fools gladly . . . remind you of anyone?”
“Yes. Gordon.”
“Interesting,” said the man. “Because those are the exact same words he used to describe you.”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant

“I have seen the faces of our enemies!
I have looked into the eyes of our foes!
Do you know what I have seen?
[...]
Faces and eyes, gentlemen. Faces and eyes.”
― Derek Landy, Death Bringer

“I’m placing you under arrest for murder, attempted murder, conspiracy to commit murder and, I don’t know, possibly littering.”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant

“We should have another code for when you're about to hit someone."
"Very well. How about 'the sparrow flies south for winter'?"
"Seriously?"
"What's wrong with it? It's a classic.”
― Derek Landy, Death Bringer

“I used a new mixture. The ingredients are a bit harder to find, but for my favourite patients I like to make sure the healing process is as painless as possible.”
“I’m on that list?” Valkyrie asked, her smile growing wider.
Kenspeckle snorted. “You are the list.”
― Derek Landy, Playing with Fire

“Milo turned to Glen. "What about you? Can I trust you not to do anything stupid?"
"I am a creature of the night," Glen whispered.
"That'll have to do," said Milo, and hurried out.”
― Derek Landy, Demon Road

“I don’t find you suspicious at all.’ He turned to Martha and whispered, ‘I find him incredibly suspicious.”
― Derek Landy, The Mystery Of The Haunted Cottage

“There is a place called reality. It is a place where people use doors instead of windows. Where, when you click a sound is made not a flame. Where, a shadow is a thing created by the sun, not a weapon. Where, your reflection stays in the mirror. And where skeletons don’t walk and talk. But you can escape this place. You just have to have one thing. Imagination.”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant

“I am what prevents the Accelerator from being a bomb."
"Except you didn't," said Gracious. "Because you weren't around."
"I got bored."
"You're a machine."
"Machines can become bored, too."
Gracious looked suddenly concerned. "My toaster is bored?"
"Perhaps, " said the Engineer. "I do not know many toasters.”
― Derek Landy, Last Stand of Dead Men

“And I won’t be needing a sword to kill you.” He strode towards Skulduggery, who raised his hand. “Um, since you’re not going to be using it, can I?”
― Derek Landy, Playing with Fire

“The door handle turned. Someone knocked, and a man's voice called, "Uh, hello?"
Valkyrie looked at Skulduggery, looked back at the others, looked at Skulduggery again.
"Hello," Skulduggery said, speaking loudly to be heard over the alarm.
"Hi," said the man. "The door's locked."
"Is it?"
"Yes."
"That's funny" said Skulduggery. "Hold on a moment." He reached out, jiggled the handle a few times, then stepped back. "Yes, it's locked. You wouldn't happen to have the key, would you?"
There was a delay in response from the other side. "I'm sorry," the man called, "Who am I speaking with?"
Skulduggery tilted his head. "Who am I speaking with?"
"This is Oscar Nightfall."
"Are you sure?"
"What?"
"Are you sure you are who you say you are? This is the Great Chamber, after all. It's a very important place for very important people. It is not beyond the realms of possibility that someone, and I'm not saying that this applies to you in particular, but someone could conceivably lie about who they are in order to gain access to this room. I have to be vigilant, especially now. There's a war on, you know."
Oscar Nightfall sounded puzzled. Who are you?"
"Me? I'm nobody. I'm a cleaner. I'm one of the cleaners. I was cleaning the thrones and the door shut behind me. Now I can't get out. Could you try and find a key?"
"What's your name? Give me you name."
"No. It's mine."
"Tell me your name!"
"My name is Oscar Nightfall."
"What? No it isn't. That's my name."
"Is it? Since when?"
"Since I took it!"
"You didn't ask me if you could take it. I was using it first."
"Open this door immediately."
"I don't have the key."
"I'll fetch the Cleavers."
"I found the key. It was in the keyhole. It's always the last place you look isn't it? I'm unlocking the door now. Here we go."
Skulduggery relaxed the air pressure, opened the door, and pulled Oscar Nightfall inside. Valkyrie stuck out her foot, and Oscar stumbled over it and Vex shoved him to Ghastly and Ghastly punched him. Oscar fell down and didn't get up again. Skulduggery closed the door once more.”
― Derek Landy, Last Stand of Dead Men

“They're here!" he cried, slamming the door and scuttling to the window.
Amber frowned. "The vampires?"
Glen looked back at her, real fear on his face. "Your parents.”
― Derek Landy, Demon Road

“You Necromancers have your messiah," Finbar said, "now we Remnants have ours.”
― Derek Landy, Mortal Coil

“With the speed of a cobra, Scapegrace lashed out at Bagatelle, catching him on the ear with a vicious chop. He ducked as Shun reached for him, and spun with a kick that came dangerously close to landing. Mud fired off a punch that Scapegrace blocked with his chin, and Scapegrace countered with a flailing hand to the air as he fell.”
― Derek Landy, Last Stand of Dead Men

“The one in the glasses looks cute."
"He's a tool."
"But not that cute," Sally said quickly. "In fact, if you had let me finish before interrupting, you would have heard me say he looks cute, but, on closer inspection, he's obviously a tool.”
― Derek Landy, Demon Road

“You’re as sharp as a marble.”
― Derek Landy, Mortal Coil

“If a Remnant takes control of me... I... I would rather you kill me than allow me to hurt anyone." - Scrutinous.
"You have my word. And if one of those things takes control of me, I... I want you to leave me alone and let me about my business." - Random”
― Derek Landy, Mortal Coil

“We're authors, too," Donegan said, "and we've been trying to get into the picture-book market. We have this idea for a Where's Wally type thing, except in ours, you'd have to find the one living person hiding in among all the dismembered corpses while the chainsaw-wielding killer hunts him down. You know, for kids."
"We're going to call is Save the Survivor," Gracious said.”
― Derek Landy, Last Stand of Dead Men

“Ghastly Bespoke’s opinions were not always right. It was his opinion, for example, that he could stand with his back to you and you wouldn’t stick a knife in it. How wrong he was.”
― Derek Landy, Last Stand of Dead Men

“What are you doing?"
"I'm, uh, acting normal."
"No you're not. You're acting like someone pretending to be normal. Stop pretending and start acting, but don't act like you're not pretending, that'll make it worse.”
― Derek Landy, Last Stand of Dead Men