*＊✿❀ n c (𝐻𝑜𝓅𝑒𝓁&#x1 ❀✿＊* > *＊✿❀ n c's Quotes

“Portia followed after, a smirk on her face, and Syc hissed as he passed.
Donegan waited till they were gone, then swung round to Gracious.
"He hissed at me."
"He hissed at you."
"Should I hiss back?"
"It's a bit late."
"He could still hear."
"Not unless you run after him."
"Do you think I should?"
"Probably not."
"I think I should."
"It'd be a bit weird."
"You might be right." Donegan pursed his lips, then shook his fist at the doorway.
"That showed him," said Gracious.
Donegan nodded. "He'll think twice about hissing at me again.”
― Derek Landy, Last Stand of Dead Men

“Personally, I think knees should be kept for the eight or ninth date, or the wedding day. As a nice surprise, you know? 'Oh, my darling, you have knees! I never would have thought!”
― Derek Landy, Mortal Coil

“Detective, have you ever considered the fact that violence is the recourse of the uncivilised man?” Skulduggery looked back. “I’m sophisticated, charming, suave and debonair, Professor. But I have never claimed to be civilised.”
― Derek Landy, The Faceless Ones

“He laughed and was about to retort when she grabbed his collar and pulled him into her. She clamped her lips around his mouth and mashed her face into his. He took a step back in surprise and she went with him, stepping in a patch of wet floor. Her legs went out from under her and flailed as she fell, whacking him in the throat on the way down. She looked up at him as he gagged and coughed, and from across the corridor she could hear Tanith laughing hysterically. "I think I need practice," Valkyrie muttered.”
― Derek Landy, Dark Days

“Tanith: Serpine is used to the Elders taking forever to make their calm, thought-out decisions. So he won't be expecting anything as amazingly rash and reckless as this
Ghastly: That'll teach him to underestimate stupid people.”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant

“Every solution to every problem is simple. It’s the distance between the two where the mystery lies.”
― Derek Landy, Scepter of the Ancients

“Valkyrie: Do we have a plan?
Skulduggery: WE need to get the Grotesquery away from the bad guys, so we'll have to split up I'm going to leave, you're going to go hide under the van, wait until they load the Grotesquery in there, and then you're going to drive off under their noses
Valkyrie: What?
Skulduggery: It'll be really funny trust me”
― Derek Landy, Playing with Fire

“Skulduggery: It would be a tad redudant to encourage you to hurry up, wouldn't it? Whatever you do, do not fall over. Falling over, I think, would be the wrong move to make at this moment
Valkyrie: Hate...
Skulduggery: Yes?
Valkyrie: Hate... You...
Skulduggery: Breathe some more air, the lack of oxygen is making you delirious.”
― Derek Landy, Playing with Fire

“And I don't need to look clever. I am clever. The fact that I look clever is merely a bonus.”
― Derek Landy, The Mystery of the Haunted Cottage

“You got stuck in a wall?" she said. "For how long?"
"A few minutes. Half an hour. An hour at the most. Maybe two. Or a day. Remember that day I called Valkyrie and told her to take the afternoon off? Yeah, I was stuck in a wall.”
― Derek Landy, The Dying of the Light

“A man is only as effective as the effect he has on his surroundings,' Gordon was saying. 'And if a man is not effective, if his very being is as insubstantial as thought, then what is this man? Is he a man? Or is he merely the thought of a man?”
― Derek Landy, The Faceless Ones

“Night descended on Roarhaven like a woolly blanket of blackness with holes in it that were the stars.”
― Derek Landy, Last Stand of Dead Men

“The Engineer smiled (internally, for of course it had no mouth). It was feeling good. It was feeling optimistic. Moving at its current speed, it would arrive back in Ireland in plenty of time to shut everything down before a series of overloads and power loops inevitably led to a sequence of events which would, in turn, eventually lead to the probable destruction of the world. The Engineer wasn't worried.
And then the truck hit it.”
― Derek Landy, Last Stand of Dead Men

“Tanith: How did Skulduggery sound?
Valkyrie: Angry and worried; He's only OK when I'm attacked by people he knows. He'd never even heard of this Sangunie guy”
― Derek Landy, Playing with Fire

“Serpine: You have caused me so much trouble over the years detective. It's almost a shame to end it
Skulduggery: You're surrendering?”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant

“Or you have twelve hours for us to save you, if you want to be half-glass full about it. Cheer up, Geoffrey, you have our full attention focused on your dilemma. Wait, where's my hat?"
Valkyrie picked it up off the armchair and handed it to him.
"Perfect," he said. "Now you have our full attention."
Scrutinous smiled gratefully, suddenly reassured that everything was going to be alright. The skeleton detective and Valkyrie Cain were on the case, and they would stop at nothing to solve it.
"I'm hungry," Valkyrie said.
Skulduggery nodded decisively, said, "Then let's get you something to eat," and Scrutinous sagged.”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant

“Serpine: No, my old enemy, I think for the moment anyway, we're all alone. And you have something I want
Skulduggery: A winning sense of style?”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant

“Please don't arrest me."
"Listen to me, I'm not going to arrest you, ok? I'm not a cop."
"Are you sure?"
"Am I sure I'm not a cop? yes, I'm sure."
"You could be undercover.”
― Derek Landy, Death Bringer

“How are we going to get out of here?"
"Oh, escape is easy once you have the right plan."
"Do we have the right plan?"
"Not yet."
"Do we have any plan?"
"Not yet.”
― Derek Landy, Death Bringer

“I am eternal. I am the night. I am the day. I am forever. And who are you?"
"I'm Skulduggery Pleasant."
"Oh, hell.
(The Horror Writers' Halloween Ball)”
― Derek Landy, Armageddon Outta Here

“I want you all to know,” Skulduggery said, “that we are the first line of defence. In fact, we’re practically the only line of defence. If we fail, there won’t be a whole lot anyone else will be able to do. What I’m trying to say is that failure at this point isn’t really the smart move to make. We are not to fail, do I make myself absolutely clear? Failure is bad, it won’t help us in the short term and certainly won’t do us any favours in the long run, and I think I’ve lost track of this speech, and I’m not too sure where it’s headed. But I know where it started and that’s what you’ve got to keep in mind. Where’s my hat?”
― Derek Landy, Playing with Fire

“We came here unarmed." Donegan said cheerfully, and Gracious looked at him.
"You're unarmed?" he asked, surprised.
"Yes," Donegan said. "Aren't you?"
"Well I suppose so. Apart from my gun."
Donegan glared at him. "What? Why did you bring a gun? I told you to come unarmed."
"I thought you were joking."
"Why would I be joking?"
"I don't know, I thought that's what made it funny.”
― Derek Landy

“You don't treat me like a child."
He smiled. "Of course I do, but you seem to have this ridiculous notion that being treated like a child means to be treated with less respect than an adult.”
― Derek Landy, The Faceless Ones

“His hair is huge!... Look!... It's just sticking up at odd angles! Like a demented porcupine! - Desmond, about Fletcher's hair”
― Derek Landy, Mortal Coil

“You're not used to early mornings, are you?"
He shook his head. "Early mornings were invented by the system to keep the people occupied. But not me. I'm on to them. They're not gonna catch me napping. Metaphorically, like. Obviously, they can catch me physically napping like, four or five times a day, but, metaphorically, I am so far beyond their reach.”
― Derek Landy, The Dying of the Light

“What's this about slippers?" Stephanie's mom said, walking in.
"Dad's just saying he could never lead the resistance against a robot army because he wears slippers."
"This is very true," her mum said.
"Then it's decided," Stephanie's father said. "When the robot army makes itself known, I will be one of the first traitors to sell out the human race."
"Wow," said Stephanie.
"Now that's an about-turn," said her mum.
"It's the only way," said her dad. "I have to make sure my family survives. The two of you and that other one, the small one--"
"Alice."
"That's her. You're all that matter to me. You're all I care about. I will betray the human race so that the robot army spares you. And then later, I will betray you so that the robot army spares me. It's a dangerous ploy, but someone has to be willing to take the big risks, and I'll be damned if I'm about to let anyone else gamble with my family's future."
"You're so brave," Stephanie's mum said.
"I know," said her dad, and then quieter, "I know.”
― Derek Landy, The Dying of the Light

“I... I don't, I don't think I can do this."
"Do what?"
It didn't answer.
"Do the tests?"
"I can't work with you when you're like this!" it blurted. "To every one of my specimens, I am the last thing they see! Terrror is what I am used to-- terror is what I like! I prefer my subjects to scream and beg, not ask to see results!"
"I'll scream my questions, if that helps."
"It won't," it said sadly. "I'll know you're only trying to make me feel better.”
― Derek Landy, The Dying of the Light

“Put a smile on that face, Valkyrie. You're unique. Easily as unique as I am."
"Two freaks in a pod, eh?"
His head tilted, amused. "Wouldn't have it any other way.”
― Derek Landy, The Dying of the Light

“He looked at Ghastly. "Thoughts?"
"I want to kill Sanguine," was the first thing Ghastly said. "And I want to do it slowly, in front of a lot of people. Using a hammer."
Skulduggery nodded. "Very healthy.”
― Derek Landy, Last Stand of Dead Men

“We've decided to get a pet," her dad announced... "Like, I don't know, a brother or a sister?”
― Derek Landy, Dark Days