*＊✿❀ n c (𝐻𝑜𝓅𝑒𝓁&#x1 ❀✿＊* > *＊✿❀ n c's Quotes

“The dart is loaded with enough sedative to bring down a—”

“Small elephant?”

He looked at her. “What?”

“You know. In the movies, if they’re going after something dangerous, they always say their tranquilliser darts have enough sedative to bring down a small elephant.”

“What do people have against small elephants?”

“Well, nothing, but—”

“There’s enough sedative in these darts to bring down a werewolf, which is exactly what we’re hunting. Why would we want to bring down an elephant if we’re not hunting elephants?”
― Derek Landy, Kingdom of the Wicked

“If he can't get to the clock, any idea how we deal with this lot?"
"With great care," Donegan suggested.
"How about we run off shout and they follow?" Said Gracious. "Then, just when they think they've caught us they fall into our trap."
"OK," said Tanith. "And that trap would be?"
"A big hole we'd dug earlier and covered with branches.'
Tanith frowned. "I thought you were meant to be smart."
Gracious frowned back at her. "Who told you that?"
"Gracious is book smart," said Donegan. "He leaves the real world thinking to people like you and me and small dogs that he meets."
"The innocent are often the wisest.”
― Derek Landy, Last Stand of Dead Men

“This book is dedicated to you.

Whether you are a Minion or a Skuttlebug or just, you know, a normal person, it’s because of you that I get to do what I love and laughingly call it work.

I know some of you by name and some of you by sight (and some of you by smell, but let’s not get into that) but there are still countless others I have never met, and to all of you I say thank you for your support, your passion, and your lunacy.”
― Derek Landy, Last Stand of Dead Men

“And what, if you don’t mind me asking, is really important?”

Valkyrie holds her hand palm upwards, and it starts to glow from within. She smiles at him.

“Magic,” she says.”
― Derek Landy, The Dying of the Light

“Tanith has a sword.' said Valkyrie. 'I want a stick.'
'I'll get you a stick for Christmas”
― Derek Landy

“You have an amazing ability to depress me sometimes, you know that?"
"I try my best.”
― Derek Landy, Death Bringer

“Ah...Dectective, this is a very private and personal moment for them both. I'm sure you can understand their need for-"
A man stumbled out clutching a sheet round his waist and Valkyrie's eyes widened. "Whoa," she said as he hummed into a table. He was tall and sandy-haired and his physique was jaw-dropping lay amazing. "No way," she said. "Scapegrace?"
The man looked at her, and shook his head. The a woman came charging out of the back room, slammed into the man and they both went rolling across the floor.
"Give it to me!" The woman screamed. "Give it to me!"
Nye scuttled over. "Mr Scapegrace, you know the procedure cannot be repeated, your brains are in far too deteriorated a condition."
"You! Gave! Me! The! Wrong! Body!”
― Derek Landy, Kingdom of the Wicked

“What's a Dullahan?'
'He's a headless horseman, in the service of the banshee.'
'Headless?'
'Yes.'
'Seriously?'
'Yes.'
'So he has no head?'
'That's usually what headless means.'
'No head at all?'
'You're really getting hung up on this headless thing, aren't you?'
'It's just kind of silly, even for us.'
'Yet you spend your days with a living skeleton.'
'But at least he has a head.'
'True.'
'He even has a spare.”
― Derek Landy, Mortal Coil

“skulduggery pleasant is the best book I've ever read and has enspired myself to become an author.”
― Derek Landy

“Sanguine felt the ridiculous urge to reach out and poke him, just to see if he’d react, but he’d seen that kind of anger before. It was the quiet kind. The dangerous kind.”
― Derek Landy, Last Stand of Dead Men

“I'm sorry? No more smooches is worse than the world ending?”
― Derek Landy, Death Bringer

“I know she was sent to keep an eye on me and then kill me, but … do you think she did fall in love with me, even just a small bit?”

“Not really.”

“Oh.”

“She stuck a knife in you.”

“Yeah.”

“That’s rarely a good sign.”

“I suppose.”

“But hey, you had some good times, didn’t you?”

“Yes. Yes we did.”

“Before she stabbed you.”
― Derek Landy, Last Stand of Dead Men

“If you can’t stand to be alone with your thoughts, maybe there’s something wrong with your thoughts.”
― Derek Landy, Demon Road

“I have a question," said Jack.
"Questions later."
"You keep sayin' sneak in and sneak out stuff. My question is-"
"No questions."
"-once this Starke bloke realises he's been robbed-"
"I'm pretty sure I said no questions."
"-the owners of the other weapons are gonna heighten security, so won't that mess up our mission?"

"First of all," Tanith said, "we have a no question rule. I literally just established it, like right there. I know you were here for that because it was two minutes ago. Now, I understand that you're used to being my enemy so your natural inclination is to do the opposite of whatever I say, but you're just going to have to get over it. Agreed?”
― Derek Landy, The Maleficent Seven

“The calm before the storm”
― derek landy

“There's a clock on the wall. Press your hand against the face and turn it very slightly to the. Left. There'll be a click to tell you it's done."
"Sounds easy enough."
"Yes it does," said Sanguine. "Kiss for good luck?"
"Maybe later," said Gracious.
"How about a handshake?" Asked Donegan.”
― Derek Landy, Last Stand of Dead Men

“Have to be honest with you Darquesse, I cannot feel that. That must be one of your special abilities, because to me, it looks like you just killed a whole bunch of people for no reason."

"Oh," said Darquesse. "That's so sad”
― Derek Landy, The Dying of the Light

“Valkyrie walked over to her. Since she had met her, all she'd wanted to do was punch her face in. But that was when Kitana has been big and powerful and brimming with murderous arrogance. The girl standing before her now, crying and blubbing like any teenage girl would do under these circumstances, was not the same girl Valkyrie had wanted to punch.
But she'd do.
Valkyrie's fist connected with such a satisfying jolt that it actually made her smile as Kitana fell sideways, eyes already rolling in her head. Valkyrie resisted the urge to kick her as she lay crumpled.
Such behaviour would be unbecoming of a Sanctuary detective.”
― Derek Landy, Kingdom of the Wicked

“We're just going to retreat?”
“We are not retreating, we're advancing in reverse.”
― Derek Landy, Playing with Fire

“Doran stood on the dais, fists clenched. "All right," he said. "Let's do it, come on. Charge me up."
Skulduggery tapped the controls. "Just give me a moment…"
Doran's leg was shaking. "Come on," he said. "Hurry up. Haven't got all day."
"Just one more moment…"
"Here," said Doran. "You have used this on people before, right?"
"Hmmm?" Skulduggery said. "People? No, not on people. Ah, here we go."
The dais lit up.
"Oh, I don't know about this," said Doran. "I don't think I want to do this…"
"You'll be fine." Skulduggery said.
"How do you know?"
"I don't."
The hair stood up on Valkyrie's arms and light filled the room. The Accelerator wined like an animal, the wine getting louder and louder and the dais beginning to tremble.
"I want to get off!" Doran shouted. "I want to get off!"
"You can't get off!" Skulduggery shouted back over the roar. "If you get off you'll die!"
"I'll die?"
"I don't know," Skulduggery shouted. "Probably.”
― Derek Landy, Kingdom of the Wicked

“He'd once known a man who said that life hinged on the moment, that everything changed in the blink of an eye. Tesseract knew the truth of that as well as anybody. It was in those moments that he struck, after all, snatching people's lives away. He'd always known that it was only a matter of time before one of those moment's worked against him.”
― Derek Landy, Mortal Coil

“They feed you."
"I eat people. They don't give me people to eat. They give me animals. That's barbaric. At least people have a fighting chance to get away. The animals they give me are already dead. It's sickening, that's what it is."
"Annis, you're a unique individual.”
― Derek Landy, The Maleficent Seven

“She started reading. She didn’t mean to spend long at it, but soon she was devouring every word, oblivious to the creaking old home and the rain outside.”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant

“It always surprised Valkyrie whenever she realized just how close the weird and the wonderful, and the fierce and the frightening, lived to the rest pf the non-magical, mortal world.”
― Derek Landy, Mortal Coil

“It’s a stereotype,” he hissed. “It’s a damn stereotype and it’s harmful. If this catches on, we’ll have all sorts of sorcerers running around, waving wands and chanting spells. Do you know how ridiculous we’d look?”

Tanith shrugged. “I liked Harry Potter.”

“This ain’t about Harry Potter!”

“You liked Harry Potter as well.”

“They’re good books,” he snapped, “but I do not agree with this wand business. All those guys down there, criminals and mobsters and gangsters, and who are they taking orders from? A wizard with a wand. How can they take him seriously? How are they going to take us seriously when we attack?”
― Derek Landy, The Maleficent Seven

“Ah, the twins. I’ll never forget the day they were born,” and his smile dipped as he added, “no matter how hard I try…”
― Derek Landy, Playing with Fire

“I wouldn't mind a sister either."
"Any chance of that happening?"
"I can't see what would be in it for my parents. I mean, they have the perfect daughter already - what more could they want?"
Tanith laughed, then tried to cover it up with a cough.
"Found something?" Skulduggery asked from behind them.
Tanith turned, looking serious. "No, sorry. I thought I had, but, no, it turned out to be, uh... more floor."
Stephanie hugged herself, trying to stop her shoulders shaking from laughter.”
― Derek Landy

“It was a trap. It was so obviously a trap.

Darquesse smiled.”
― Derek Landy, The Dying of the Light

“The Baron, unfortunately, turns it all the way up to eleven."
"Seriously? Because, you know, that's one more evil”
― Derek Landy

“Stephanie, you jumped off a building.” “Yes, but the branches broke my fall. Every one of them.” “And how were the branches?” “A lot unlike pillows.” “You could have been killed.” “But I wasn’t.”
― Derek Landy, Scepter of the Ancients