The Maleficent Seven Quotes

“Ladies and gentleman," he said over the speakers, "welcome aboard this recently liberated Gulfstream V. If I could have your attention for just a few moments, I'd like to go over the safety features of this aircraft. It has an engine, to make us go, and wings, to keep us in the air. There are seatbelts, which won't do you an awful lot of good if we fly into the side of a mountain.”
― Derek Landy, The Maleficent Seven

“Donegan Bane and Gracious O'Callahan - the Monster Hunters. Adventurers, inventors, authors of Monster Hunting for Beginners and it's sequels, Monster Hunting for Beginners is Probably Inadvisable and Seriously, Dude, Stop Monster Hunting.”
― Derek Landy, The Maleficent Seven

“This is stolen? We're in a stolen jet?"
"Not stolen," said Donegan Bane from the co-pilot's seat.
"Almost stolen," Gracious corrected.
"Semi-stolen," said Donegan.
"Quasi-stolen," said Gracious.
Aurora's frown did not turn upside down. "So is it stolen or not?"
Donegan and Gracious hesitated.
"Yes," they both said together.”
― Derek Landy, The Maleficent Seven

“Annis had never been a people person, unless ‘people person’ was defined as a person who ate people.”
― Derek Landy, The Maleficent Seven

“Who's your friend?"

"I'm glad you asked that," said Tanith. "Her name's Darquesse and she's lovely. You'll love her, you really will. She's so funny and nice and she's great to hang out with."

Sabine frowned. "Isn't she the one they're saying will destroy the world?"

"OK, Sabine, for a start, I don't know why you're being so negative about this. How about waiting until you've met her before you start judging her? Think you can do that? Secondly, it's not destroying the world, it's destroying some bits of the world.”
― Derek Landy, The Maleficent Seven

“You said I was your number-one pick."
"And you are. In our hearts. Alphabetically, though, Dusk comes before you.”
― Derek Landy, The Maleficent Seven

“While my insides may be rotten, I still like a good reason to kill someone. It has to be either business, personal, or out of sheer boredom.”
― Derek Landy, The Maleficent Seven

“Aurora sagged. "Why is it," she asked, "that every time I'm with you two we end up stealing something big?"
"We always return it," Donegan said, a little defensively. "Maybe not always in one piece or necessarily to the right person but return it we do, and so it is not stealing, it is merely borrowing."
Gracious looked at him. "It's a little bit stealing."
"Anyone who leaves a private jet just lying around deserves to have it stolen."
"It wasn't lying around," said Gracious. "It was locked up tight. It took us an hour to dismantle the security system and get inside."
Donegan looked at him. "You're not helping.”
― Derek Landy, The Maleficent Seven

“Sanguine chuckled. "I like you, boy. You got optimism in these bones. I like you so much that I ain't gonna tell you what I did to poor old Jethro, the first Jethro, may he rest in peace, may they someday find his head.”
― Derek Landy, The Maleficent Seven

“I have a question," said Jack.
"Questions later."
"You keep sayin' sneak in and sneak out stuff. My question is-"
"No questions."
"-once this Starke bloke realises he's been robbed-"
"I'm pretty sure I said no questions."
"-the owners of the other weapons are gonna heighten security, so won't that mess up our mission?"

"First of all," Tanith said, "we have a no question rule. I literally just established it, like right there. I know you were here for that because it was two minutes ago. Now, I understand that you're used to being my enemy so your natural inclination is to do the opposite of whatever I say, but you're just going to have to get over it. Agreed?”
― Derek Landy, The Maleficent Seven

“They feed you."
"I eat people. They don't give me people to eat. They give me animals. That's barbaric. At least people have a fighting chance to get away. The animals they give me are already dead. It's sickening, that's what it is."
"Annis, you're a unique individual.”
― Derek Landy, The Maleficent Seven

“It’s a stereotype,” he hissed. “It’s a damn stereotype and it’s harmful. If this catches on, we’ll have all sorts of sorcerers running around, waving wands and chanting spells. Do you know how ridiculous we’d look?”

Tanith shrugged. “I liked Harry Potter.”

“This ain’t about Harry Potter!”

“You liked Harry Potter as well.”

“They’re good books,” he snapped, “but I do not agree with this wand business. All those guys down there, criminals and mobsters and gangsters, and who are they taking orders from? A wizard with a wand. How can they take him seriously? How are they going to take us seriously when we attack?”
― Derek Landy, The Maleficent Seven

“We could wear disguises," said Frightening.
Aurora nodded quickly. "Like a false beard. I've always wanted to wear a false beard."
Vex frowned. "But you're a woman."
"Exactly. They'd never suspect it was me.”
― Derek Landy, The Maleficent Seven

“I thought we were a team," Annis said.
Tanith looked down at her. "We are a team."
"And Sabine? Wasn't she part of it, too?"
"She was a very important part. She was payment."
"Are you going to betray us like you betrayed her?”
― Derek Landy, The Maleficent Seven

“You zapped your own brain?"
"And it didn't do me any harm apart from the dizziness and the vomiting spells and the weirdly persistent ringing in my ears. Also the blackouts and the moodswings and the creeping paranoia. Apart from that, zero side effects, if you don't count numb fingertips. Which I don't."
"Because he also lost the ability to count," said Donegan.
"That was temporary," snapped Gracious.”
― Derek Landy, The Maleficent Seven

“I'm almost finished," said Wilhelm, wiping out a line with his sleeve and drawing over it.
"I never doubted you for a moment," said Vex, then looked at Aurora and spoke more softly. "I actually doubted him the whole time. He's really not very good."
Wilhelm turned. "I'm standing right in front of you. I can hear literally every sound you make."
"Wilhelm, please," said Vex, "this is a private conversation.”
― Derek Landy, The Maleficent Seven

“I'm traumatized. My life flashed before my eyes.
You're life in re-runs would traumatize anyone. You're fine.”
― Derek Landy, The Maleficent Seven

“Saracen Rue knows things."
That's what Dexter Vex was told all those hundreds of years ago before they first met. He couldn't remember who had introduced them - Skulduggery? Ravel? Ghastly maybe - but when he'd been asked what magical discipline Saracen had chosen, he'd been assured that "Saracen Rue knows things." That was all.”
― Derek Landy, The Maleficent Seven

“Sanguine took a moment, finding it hard to process the information. "He... this guy uses a wand? For real? He actually uses a wand? Like a wizard?... Don't the other Necromancers have any sense of pride? What's he gonna do next, fly around on a broomstick? This ain't Harry Potter.”
― Derek Landy, The Maleficent Seven

“Sabine pulled herself out of the water behind him, and glared up as she hung there. "You spat on me.”
― Derek Landy, The Maleficent Seven

“Jethro, you have been a most helpful captive."
"Are you... are you going to let me live?"
Sanguine's grin grew wider. "Not even remotely.”
― Derek Landy, The Maleficent Seven

“I have chiseled features. Look. Look how chiseled they are. And my teeth are at least as white as his. You seriously think he's good-lookin'?"
"I do," said Tanith.
"Right," Sanguine said and nodded. "I'm gonna kill him."
She kept her laugh soft so it wouldn't travel. "I think he's good-looking, but I think you're better looking."
"Oh," Sanguine said. "I mean, yeah. I am. I'm glad you noticed.”
― Derek Landy, The Maleficent Seven

“This isn't the first time I've used this, and the test subject showed no signs of impaired cognitive ability."
"Who was the test subject?" asked Aurora.
"I test everything out on myself before taking it into the field."
She stared at him. "You zapped your own brain?"
"And it didn't do me any harm apart from the dizziness and the vomiting spells and the weirdly persistent ringing in my ears. Also the blackouts and the mood swings and the creeping paranoia. Apart from that, zero side effects, if you don't count the numb fingertips. Which I don't.”
― Derek Landy, The Maleficent Seven

“he was a rubbish Sensitive, and I cut his head off. If he'd been any good at looking into the future he'd have ducked.”
― Derek Landy, The Maleficent Seven

“There's an I in menagerie. - Black Annis”
― Derek Landy, The Maleficent Seven

“The girl looked down at her plate. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"Would it have made it easier to kill a murderer?"
The girl paused. "Yes."
"Then what kind of test would it have been?" Quoneel asked.”
― Derek Landy, The Maleficent Seven