Kathleen Pooler's Blog, page 24

The Role of Mindfulness and Memoir Writing in Healing: A Reflection

Posted by Kathleen Pooler/@kathypooler

“When you open your mind, you open new doors to new possibilities for yourself and new opportunities to help others.” 

―  Roy T. Bennett

Photo Credit: Flickr Creative Commons

The Role of Mindfulness and Memoir Writing In Healing: A Reflection

After eight years of studying the art and craft of memoir writing, publishing one memoir and working on a second one, I am able to say, without a doubt, that the process has led to healing in my life.

There is a plethora of information about the healing aspects of writing (links to selected resources included below) but I wanted to explore the process that led to the healing I experienced.

My Story..

For twenty-five years, I lived with guilt and shame about two abusive marriages. But I was not fully aware of the depth of that guilt and shame until I began writing.

It wasn’t until I published the memoir in 2014 that I felt the healing.

Ever Faithful to His Lead: My Journey Away From Emotional Abuse is about a young woman whose search for Prince Charming led her deeper into an abyss of self-defeating patterns. The journey into and out of these patterns is the story.

In writing my memoir, the themes of hope, resilience and courage in finding that I had everything I needed became clear. I only had to claim and honor the strength within to get the life I wanted.

In writing and sharing my story, I forgave the men in my life whom I felt had harmed me. I saw the father of my children as a good person with a bad problem, rather than harboring anger against him. Perhaps, most important, I forgave myself.

But I did not know any of this when I started writing in 2009. I only knew that I had a story I wanted to tell. I wanted it to be a story of hope for others in abusive relationships.

The words and feelings  buried all those years seemed to take on a different shape as they landed on the pages.

What was it about the writing process that helped me to move forward from the guilt and shame to a life of joy and peace?

Mindfulness comes to mind when I think of memoir writing…being in the moment with the memory, the experience, and the effect it had on me.  In doing that, I had to face my own truth. Yes, that was mew, yes,I made all those choices, yes, I am human.

If I want readers to connect their stories with my story, they need to experience me as a believable, authentic person. My story needed to be more than a litany of life events, but rather a universal message with my own unique, yet relatable life story twist.

I needed to remain mindful of being committed to my truth and my voice in relaying my story. When I felt stuck, I journaled about feeling stuck or I took a break and let the story marinate on its own.

I am taking these lessons into my work-in-progress memoir.

When I take care of myself, I begin to trust in my own creative abilities. I  allow myself to be vulnerable and share from my core. 

Memoir writing is a journey of self-discovery, healing and transformation.

But I have to be open to where the story is taking me. I have to be willing to “go there” into the land of uncertainty and vulnerability.

And the places it took me were uncomfortable, raw, cringe-worthy as is currently happening with my work-in-progress memoir about being the mother of an addicted son.

Photo Credit: Pixabay Free Image

A wound will fester if it’s covered up too long. I am revisiting old wounds and opening them up for healing.

Why in the world would I want to go there and relive those painful memories?

Joseph Campbell said, “ The cave you fear to enter holds the treasures you seek.”

Facing painful memories is the beginning of getting to the other side.

We all tell ourselves stories about ourselves.

These stories can be reframed through the writing as we revisit the memory. Often times, it is the act of writing it on paper that gives the memory less power. We can take back our control about how we view the event.

We can develop a new narrative around our memories.

If readers can connect to their own stories through my story, perhaps they can envision different outcomes for themselves. In that regard, I believe reading as well as writing memoir can be healing.

But in order to enter that cave of fear—about privacy issues, my own vulnerability, repercussions of telling my story—I have to write with intention.

Being connected to my purpose for telling my story propels me through the roadblocks and obstacles along the way.

My purpose in telling my stories is to share my hope that no matter how far down into the abyss you go, there’s always hope for a better life.

In my desire to help others, I ended up helping myself. And it’s a gift that keeps on giving as readers connect with me and share their stories.

Being mindful and writing my memoir helped me to heal.

Photo Credit: Pixabay Free Image: tttborom

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Selected resources for writing to heal and mindfulness:

“Writing to Heal: A Guided Journal for Recovering From Trauma and Emotional Upheaval” book by  James Pennebaker,MD.

“The Power of Memoir: How to Write Your Healing Story” book by Linda Joy Myers,PhD

“Expressive Writing: What’s on Your Mind and in Your Heart” Dr. John F. Evans , Ed.D

“Writing to Heal” Bridget Murray

Memoir and Mindfulness blog by Peter Gibbs

***

 

How about you? Has writing helped you to heal? Have you read memoirs that helped you to heal? What about writing or reading memoirs do you think leads to healing?

 

I’d love to hear from you. Please join in the conversation below~

***

Next Week:  

Monday, 6/12/17:

“Interview with Memoirist Annette Gendler”

Annette is the author of the newly released memoir, Jumping Over Shadows, the story of a German-Jewish love that overcame the burdens of the past.

Is God Happy? How Writing My Memoir Answered This Question by Wendy Macdonald

Posted by Kathleen Pooler/@kathypooler with Wendy Macdonald/@wendylmacdonald

“When reading or writing memoir, we reap the blessings of a bird’s-eye view.”

Photo Credit: Wendy Macdoanld

I am very pleased to feature Christian writer, poet and nature photographer Wendy Macdonald in this post about how writing her memoir led her out of the abyss of abuse and into the light.Wendy and I met on Twitter. I have enjoyed following Wendy’s thoughtful “Daily Bread-type” reflections about faith and life. Wendy is currently editing her memoir about overcoming shame.

 

Welcome, Wendy!

Christian writer, poet and nature photographer Wendy Macdonald

Is God Happy? How Writing My Memoir Helped Me Answer This Question

Writing my memoir helped me answer the question, “How can God possibly be happy when so many unhappy things are going on in the world?”

In Genesis it says that God created this planet, outer space, and all of life within six days; God said it was good. When Adam and Eve broke fellowship with God, by disobeying His commandment not to eat forbidden fruit, things turned bad. And depending on your worldview, you could say things haven’t gotten any better since sin entered Eden.

Sometimes my mind slips into my own past where I witnessed hurts perpetrated against me and by me. I wondered how God could have watched without intervening. I wondered how He could suffer seeing others suffer. I wondered how He could stand not to stop abuse and neglect from painting dark skies over the lives of the defenseless. Those black clouds often caused victims to latch onto destructive addictions in search of a light to lead them out of their pain and shame. I know this can happen—because it happened to me.

Praise God, He eventually led me into His marvelous Light after I hit the bottom of my black hole.

While writing my first memoir draft, I was given—a gift—a glimpse of God’s worldview. And I wouldn’t have received it without having spent days, weeks, and months forging through the sludge and slurry of my memories. I wrote about events spanning a dozen years of my life. It spread out before me like a physical map. I saw sloughs of despond; I saw oases I didn’t want to leave; I saw mountains that needed climbing; and I saw glimpses of a river I would one day be blessed to cross.

Photo Credit : Wendy Macdonald

I saw that decade of my life with a bird’s-eye view.

It was painful to revisit some parts of it. Scrutinizing memories with a magnifying glass is dangerous because we risk losing perspective if we don’t switch back to a wide-angle lens, for fear and anxiety can strangle one’s peace.

I’m glad I endured that journey into my past, because it unveiled more hope than hurt. I saw a golden thread of Providence blanket-stitched all the way through and around it. The frayed edges of me were held in place by God’s grace, and He refined my faith into gold because the blanket of my past is a patchwork of events with which He wrote my salvation story.

God’s a happy God because He’s got a macro and wide-angle lens view of eternity. His worldview isn’t gloomy—it’s glorious. He knows the end of the story while we’re experiencing the saggy middle, drowning depths, or exhilarating victories. He sees, He knows, and He plans for all of it to be used for good. He’s not depressed by visions of the oppressed because a revision of all things is coming when the first shall be last and the last shall be first.

God’s happy-ending worldview keeps His holy face glowing brighter than the sun that’s counting the days, weeks, or months ‘til Christ’s return.

***

Thank you, Wendy for sharing how your faith helped you find a pathway out of the depth of your suffering and into the light. Keep us posted on your memoir.

***

Writer’s Bio:

Wendy L. Macdonald is an inspirational writer, blogger, and podcaster who also loves to photograph nature on Vancouver Island. Besides writing and gardening, Wendy enjoys hiking with her husband. She homeschooled their three children and she believes years of reading classics aloud developed her love of storytelling. She hopes you’ll visit her “Daily Bread” style Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram. Her byline is: My faith is not shallow because I’ve been rescued from the deep. Samples of her photography have been included in the 2017 Canadian anthology: Good Grief People. Her main website is wendylmacdonald.com where she enjoys interacting with readers. She’s currently editing her first memoir with aspirations of having it traditionally published.

Contact Information:

Website: http://www.wendylmacdonald.com/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/greenlightlady/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/wendyl.macdonald/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/wendylmacdonald

Hope Stream Radio; Walking with Wendy: https://soundcloud.com/wendy-l-macdonald

Photo Credit: Wendy Macdonald

 

***

How about you?   Did you gain a helpful perspective of your past when you wrote your memoir? And if you haven’t written a memoir yet, has Wendy’s post encouraged you to start writing yours? She hopes so.

Let us know what you’re thinking. Please join in the conversation below.

 

This Week:

May 2017 Newsletter: Updates, Memoir Musings and Max Moments:

“The Sweet Land of Acceptance”

Next Week:

Monday, 6/5/17: 

“The Role of Mindfulness and Memoir Writing in Healing”

 

 

 

 

How Authors and Writers Can Use Creative Visualization by Dorit Sasson

Posted by Kathleen Pooler/@kathypooler with Dorit Sasson/@VoicetoStory

“The more light you allow within you, the brighter the world you live in will be.”

― Shakti Gawain

Writing is a form of creativity and those of us who are writers know all too well the frustration of feeling that the creative energy needed to complete our projects is missing or blocked. 

I am happy to welcome Dorit Sasson back to discuss why how creative visualization can help us unlock our potential and move forward with our writing.  She speaks from her own successful experience of launching her groundbreaking memoir, Accidental Soldier: A Memoir of Service and Sacrifice in the Israel Defense Forces, last year and she has recently launched a Publishizer Campaign for her upcoming memoir, Sand and Steel.

Dorit Sasson is the founder of Giving Voice to Your Courage podcast and website. She supports heart-centered business owners and authors build visibility and increase engagement with their platforms. Accidental Soldier: A Memoir of Service and Sacrifice in the Israel Defense Forces was a finalist for the USA Best Books Awards, Next Generation Indie Book Awards and Santa Fe Literary Awards and is also a widely read handbook on how to become more courageous in life.

Welcome back, Dorit!

Dorit Sasson, Author, Blogger, Speaker and Radio Talk Host

How Authors and Writers Can Use Creative Visualization

The writing life of an author would not be complete without the tool of creative visualization. If you’ve been envisioning success but don’t know where to begin, follow the practices described below.

Remember when you felt exhilarated by all the options of your latest project only to quickly lose interest?

Or how about the time when you tried to build momentum only to find yourself thwarted by the writing process?

Did you envision what it would feel like to finally complete that project?

This is the key to getting past the road blocks, obstacles and other setbacks.

Take a step back and start seeing yourself working and creating.

The simple act of visualization can help you push forward with your goals.

 

Photo Credit: Pixabay Free Image

Creative Visualization Is…

how you actively channel your thoughts to actively imagine, create and attract what you what to experience or have in your life

 

a way to program the mind to help you achieve your goals and dreams. It’s definitely not rocket science, but requires a bit of imagination.

 

 

 

 

The steps in a nutshell:

Imagine what you want
Feel what it would be like to have or experience this goal (This is the important step that many miss!)
Trust that what you truly want will come to you.
Take action to support your goal. (Yes, you have to show up!)

 

How a Client Used Creative Visualization to Get Unstuck

A very recent experience with a client taught me what kind of stumbling blocks get in the way of making the creative process flow more effortlessly and how visualization helps with the process of getting unstuck.

Prior to outlining her book, a client of mine made piles of notecards to keep her on track with ideas she categorized for the outline. In our sessions, she would remark how much she loved that activity but when the time came to outline and write the content for her book, she froze.

She had forgotten what it felt like to have fun writing, and only focused on outcomes. She would often judge her lack of progress and her frustration grew.

We talked about what it means to show up for the writing process without getting too hung up by outcomes. I pointed out that when you’re in “the zone” your book’s content flows easily and gracefully through you onto the page. Using the steps outlined above, she was able to visualize the process enjoying her work in the zone – something she had denied herself for a long time.

This is exactly why authors and writers should use creative visualization – to renew that spark of what it once meant to have fun.

1) Get Curious: Ask Yourself Why?

Getting out of your way as a writer or author can be as simple and powerful as asking yourself “why?”

On the surface, life is one big mess, right? But underneath it all, there’s some order in how we humans think. We want to understand. We want the why. We write to also get closer to nailing this “why” question.

The good news is that we can hop over to Google or journal every time we’re up against something perplexing or feeling stuck. The goal of writing is to understand why we or our characters do certain things. To get to the heart of that way, think about what makes you curious about your themes, concepts and research.

Let your curiosity point you in the direction of the next step.

2) Get Inspired by Social Media Images

Do you enjoy reading all those pithy and helpful quotes on Pinterest? Think of them as your personal online vision board to help you stay motivated and focused especially when it comes to finishing your book.

A vision board essentially paints dreams and goals which can then be experienced as an author or for your target readers to experience. Start by pinning images to create your own virtual vision board. When you visualize your writing or publishing goals, you are able to take action upon them. This reinforces your commitment to them regardless whether you’re writing fiction or non-fiction.

Non-Fiction

Check out Pinterest boards of various boards connecting to your field of expertise and subtopics. For example, if you’re writing about weight-loss, Pinterest boards on mindful eating might contain ways to combat binge eating or motional quotes to help one stay grounded and focused on one’s goal. The visual element of Pinterest combined with the emotional can give a person struggling with weight-loss that visual reminder needed to start the day off right.

 

Fiction and Non-Fiction

You can also use Quozio or Canva to create your own vision board using Quozio or Canva to create little posters that give readers a taste of your latest project and their themes.

As you pin the images, see and feel the possibilities of your own success.

As yourself a few questions:

How do you feel about an image that relates to your book on Facebook?
How do you feel about a meme on Twitter?

 

Platform building on Pinterest: Continue to add images that support your goal. People will often pin your images and in doing so, you build an author platform on Pinterest. As you add images related to your goal and people follow you and your board, you build an author platform on Pinterest.

3) Work towards Your Goals by Visualizing Them

Stay focused and committed by tapping into a creative visual. What images support that goal of having a completed manuscript or transitioning into part-time or full-time writing? Use the “feel good” energies to help guide you. Feel into the emotional energy of the pictures to visualize yourself attaining your goal.

Another way to feel into your goals is to enter a few search terms that describe how you want to feel about your project or goals. What images pop up? One by one, pin them to create your Pinterest online vision board. Lock in a feeling that corresponds with that image.

If honing in on creativity is your thing, enter terms like “creativity” and “writing flow.” Visualize yourself staying in that flow by tapping into creative energies.

While visualizing your book, use social media to inspire others as well. You can even encourage them to feel and visualize their goals along with yours making the experience an online group effort. Ultimately, this connection will build your author platform.

***

Thank you, Dorit for sharing your valuable and practical tips about tapping into our own creative energies. I love the idea that we all have that creative energy within. We only need to find ways to unlock it. I also enjoyed your thoughts on using Pinterest or Facebook images to stimulate ideas and build an author platform. 

***

Author Bio:

Dorit Sasson writes for a wide range of print and online publications, including The Huffington Post and The Writer, and speaks at conferences, libraries, and community centers. She is the author of  a featured chapter in Pebbles in the Pond: Transforming the World One Person at a Time, the latest installment of that best-selling series and she is the host of the global radio show “Giving Voice to Your Courageous Story.” She lives in Pittsburgh, PA with her husband and two children.

Brief Synopsis of Sand and Steel:

Sand and Steel: A Spiritual Journey Home is a powerful memoir about what it means for an American woman to return to her homeland after living in Israel for more than twenty years. Following in the tradition of her first memoir Accidental Soldier: A Memoir of Service and Sacrifice in the Israel Defense Forces, award-winning author Dorit Sasson describes in vivid and heartfelt prose the painstaking journey of wrestling with two identities and the courage it took to give up her Israel home and return to America as a “foreigner.”

Sand and Steel: A Spiritual Journey Home is about the persistence it takes to view an unfamiliar situation or circumstance as an opportunity for self-growth.  Sasson writes about the struggle to find familiarity in a very different America than the one she left at age nineteen, which leads her to discover how to integrate her two identities and lead a fulfilled life.

Pre-order your copy of Dorit’s new memoir Sand and Steel: the Spiritual Journey Home, and get a print copy of Accidental Soldier: A Memoir of Service and Sacrifice in the Israel Defense Forces – free!

***

How about you? Have you used creative visualization with any endeavor? What worked? What didn’t? 

We’d love to hear from you. Please join in the conversation below~

***

Next Week:

Monday, 5/29/17:

“Is God Happy? How Writing My Memoir Helped Me Answer This Question by Wendy Macdonald.”

Wendy is a Christian writer, poet and photographer who is working on a memoir about overcoming the shame of abuse.

May 2017 Newsletter: Monthly updates, Memoir Musings, Max Moments:

“The Sweet Land of Acceptance”

If you are interested in receiving this monthly newsletter via email, please sign up on the right side bar. I’d love to have you along!

Turning the Page: A Memoir Moment

Posted by Kathleen Pooler/@kathypooler

“Have the life you want by being present to the life you have.”` Mark Nepo

Photo Credit: Flickr Creative Commons “Hydrangeas”

 

Turning the Page: A Memoir Moment

As most to you who have been following this blog know, for the past three years I  have been anticipating and adjusting to home peritoneal dialysis and undergoing an evaluation for a kidney transplant. My life has been on hold.

 

Photo Credit: Google Images- wikipedia

I am very grateful to all of you who have accompanied and supported me through all the twists and turns of my journey. Thank you.

It’s only right that I update you on my decision.

I left off with my quandary about my next step after being rejected for a kidney transplant on 3/26.

 

A Period of Grief…

The rejection sent me on a path of grief –deep and hard–about the loss of the person I thought I was or wanted to be. I allowed myself to sit with that deep sense of loss.

Stuck.

It is in this place of discomfort that I searched for relief. I began to focus on what I needed to do to navigate around the emotional pain of losing the familiar and walking into the unknown.

 

Tending to Mind, Body and Spirit…

My faith has always seen me through the rough spots. How often have I repeated the mantra, “My faith is stronger than my fear..”

I began focusing more on being still and listening, making more time for daily prayer, meditation, and scripture readings.

I started taking weekly Tai Chi Chih classes –slow, gentle movements which serve as a “moving meditation”.

On my good days, I walk outside on the man-made trails on our farm.

I do Healing Touch sessions with a Certified Healing Touch Instructor, Sister Rita Jean Dubrey, CSJ. In between sessions, I do her meditation, Chakra Connection Reflecting on The Gifts of the Holy Spirit.

I made mental and paper lists of the pros and cons and I talked with whomever would listen about my hopes and fears.

In essence, I forced myself to concentrate on doing whatever I needed to do to move on in my life.

After about six weeks, I began feeling different…I realized I was not resisting my lot as much.

It takes a lot of energy to resist.

Eventually, the urge to plan activities overcame the need to resist what was happening.

I have a memoir to finish and several writing conferences to attend. In July, I’ll go to the week-long International Women Writers Guild (IWWG) Summer Conference at Muhlenberg College in Allentown , Pa and in August I will return to the Writer’s Digest East Conference in New York City.

I felt ready to turn the page.

Photo Credit: Pixabay Free Image

 

My Decision…

I decided, without a doubt, that I’m  probably as good as I’m going to be and I’m not willing to risk losing what I have for the slim possibility of a successful transplant.

Most days are good. Some aren’t but we all have those days.

It reminds me of the Serenity Prayer.

 

Overall, the dialysis is working well. It’s still cumbersome and I still don’t like it, but —and it’s what comes after the but that counts—the shackles of resistance have been removed and I feel free to move on to enjoy the moments I have and the many blessings in my life.

 

 

 

It’s such a relief to finally make a decision, to accept what is and to keep moving forward in faith to enjoy my life.

***

How about you?  How do you “turn the page” when life doesn’t turn out as you had hoped? What works for you?

 

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this. Please join in the conversation below~

***

This Week:

Thursday, 5/ 25/17:

“Why Writing Memoir is the Best Way to Authoring Change” by Dorit Sasson

Dorit is the author of an award-winning memoir, Accidental Soldier: A Memoir of Service and Sacrifice in the Israel Defense Forces. Her upcoming memoir, Sand and Steel : The Spiritual Journey Home is currently available for pre-order here via her Publishizer campaign.

Next Week:

Monday, 5/29/17:

“Is God Happy? How Writing My Memoir Helped Me Answer This Question by Wendy Macdonald.”

Wendy is a Christian writer, poet and photographer who is working on a memoir about overcoming the shame of abuse.

May 2017 Newsletter: Monthly updates, Memoir Musings, Max Moments:

“The Sweet Land of Acceptance”

If you are interested in receiving this monthly newsletter via email, please sign up on the right side bar. I’d love to have you along!

Seven Things I Learned From My Son About Sobriety by Libby Cataldi

Posted by Kathleen Pooler/@kathypooler with Libby Cataldi

  Addiction is a family disease that storms in like a tornado and leaves its victims shattered. I know because I, along with many other mothers, witnessed my own son’s struggle with drugs and alcohol. When I met Libby Cataldi online, I knew I had met a kindred spirit. Libby shares the hard-earned lessons she learned from dealing with her son’s drug addiction in her memoir, Stay Close: A Mother’s Story of her Son’s Addiction. I featured Libby in this recent post. Today, she will discuss lessons she learned from her son about sobriety.

My reviews of her memoir can be found on: Amazon, Goodreads, LibraryThing and Riffle.

Welcome, Libby!

Memoirist Libby Cataldi

Seven Things I Learned From My Son About Sobriety

My son is a recovering heroin addict and his addiction lasted fourteen years. At the end of his using, he was shooting heroin into his neck, having destroyed his veins in his arms, legs and feet. Today, he is ten years sober. That doesn’t mean his addiction is over, but it does mean that Jeff made the decision to change his life.

 

Here are some things that I’ve learned:

 

It takes courage to live in sobriety. I once told Jeff, “You have courage to try again.” He replied, “Courage. That’s not a word usually used with addicts.” But it takes courage. Every day, he must make the decision to live a sober life.

 

The community of AA was and is an important part of my son’s recovery. There he found people who knew his journey and have walked in his shoes. Jeff learned to lean on that community and to contribute to it. He gave the 12 steps a chance and they changed his life. In AA, each person makes a difference. They saw him: They celebrated his successes and stood with him when he was in need.

 

Addiction is a family disease and we all suffer. But family can be healing, a part of the medicine. In sobriety, when we saw Jeff taking responsibility for his life, our arms and home opened. Trust takes time, so we each needed to be patient with each other. Success isn’t short term. It takes time for life to settle down and for new structures to be built.

 

Life in sobriety is an adventure. My son learned to take risks, live with courage and have fun. He told me that when he went back to work in sobriety at a PR firm, he felt like he was going to get fired every day for the first year. He didn’t feel qualified, felt in over his head, but he tried his best and became a strong employee. When he left, they thanked him for making an important contribution to the company. As they say in AA, “Suit up and show up.”

 

Life in sobriety is worth living . Jeff told me that drugs were about excitement – big weekends and bursts of pleasure. Sobriety outweighs all that. Being clean lets a person build a life of substance with real relationships, people who depend on him, a career he can count on. Jeff says that the biggest realization of all is that life is incredible without drugs and he can’t imagine losing the things he now has.

 

Service is an important part of recovery . Learning to live in sobriety is about giving and receiving. In AA , the saying is, “In order to keep it, you have to give it away.” Reaching out a hand to help another person strengthens each of us.

 

For my son, his sobriety is based on his spiritual practice. Every morning, he reads, stretches, meditates and prays. His life is based in honesty with everyone he meets, and with himself.

 

The Buddhists say that suffering serves to awaken compassion. My prayer is that all the suffering we’ve been through leads us to greater compassion for our addicted loved ones and for ourselves. Miracles happen. I’ve seen them.

Libby and her son, Jeff

Book Synopsis:

Book Cover in Italian and English

Libby Cataldi was the head of a private school and prided herself on being attuned to the problems her students endured. So how was it that she missed her own son Jeff’s descent into addiction, even as he escalated to more and more dangerous drugs? How did Jeff, a loving brother and son, and a star athlete, start using in the first place? And how could Libby help him without risking the rest of her family?

“Stagli vicino”, an Italian recovering addict told the author. “Stay close―never leave him, even when he is most unlovable.” This is not a book about how to save a child. It is a book about what it means to stay close to a loved one gripped by addiction. It is about one son who came home and one mother who never gave up hope.

Stay Close is one mother’s tough, honest, and intimate tale that chronicles her son’s severe drug addiction, as it corroded all relationships from the inside out. It is a story of deep trauma and deep despair, but also of deep hope―and healing.

He told her, “Mom, never quit believing.” And she didn’t.

Amazon Buy Link

Author Bio:

Libby Cataldi is the author of Stay Close: A Mother’s Story of Her Son’s Addiction , St. Martin’s Press, NYC, and the translation Stammi Vicino: Una Madre, Un Figlio, Un Nemico Invisible: La Droga, Rizzoli, Milan. She was the Director of The Calverton School in Maryland for seventeen years, and now lives between Florence, Italy, and Maryland, USA. In Florence, she is a proud member of The Dragon Boat, a rowing team of breast cancer survivors, was on the board of the International School of Florence, and works with The International League of Florence ONLUS to raise money for charities . She has two sons and one granddaughter.


Libby blogs weekly at www.libbycataldi.com http://libbycataldi.com/blog/.  In her latest blog post she offers this message:

“Hope finds its strength in the heart, not the brain. With addiction, the events often spell disaster, and I found that only love could combat my despair. My younger son once asked, “Momma, how will you end the story about Jeff?” I admitted, “I don’t know, Jer. It’s not my story to end.” His answer was clear, “But that’s the point. We don’t know what will happen to Jeff, but no one can ever take away our hope. You have to end the story in hope.”

Where there’s life, there’s hope..

***

Thank you Libby and Jeff for sharing your love and hope. Your courage in sharing your story gives me hope for my own story and I know touches many who deal with addiction in a loved one. May we all stay close as we move forward one day at a time in love and hope.

***

How about you? How do you find hope for an addicted loved one? 

We’d love to hear from you. Please join in the conversation below~

***

  Next Week:

Monday, 5/22/17:

“Turning the Page: A Memoir Moment”

Three Valuable Lessons From My 50th Nursing School Reunion: A Memoir Moment

Posted by Kathleen Pooler/@kathypooler

 

I just returned from our 50th Nursing School reunion—a weekend of recaptured memories when the world and we were so fresh and new, untested and full of passion for our life’s work. 

St Joseph’s Hospital School of Nursing in Elmira, New York, 1908-1988:

Photo Credit: Flickr, https://www.flickr.com/photos/nursing...

History taken from a talk by Ruth Mace, Class of 1937 at an Alumni Banquet:

“St. Joseph’s Hospital in Elmira, N.Y. had a School of Nursing from 1908-1988. The first student was accepted on Oct. 2, 1908. She was Lena MacInerney of Elmira. Soon, three others joined her to form the first class that eventually graduated in 1911. These students lived in a house on the corner of E. Market St. and Dewitt Ave. They lived on the first floor and the six original Sisters, who ran the newly formed Hospital, lived on the second floor. They had one gas stove to heat the entire house. By the 1920’s more nurses were entering the nursing field and enrollment in our School increased. Houses around the Hospital were purchased to provide needed living space for these students. This was also the era of Prohibition and the Flapper period (1919-1933). The rules were very strict in those days but like all resourceful people, man found solutions. Also, in 1930, the educational requirement for entrance to the school was raised from 2 years of high school to graduation from high school. Students worked a 52-hour week with classes given on off duty time. In those days, after graduation, if you were hired as a staff nurse, part of your salary was a room in the Dunn and 3 meals a day. The financial part was $50 a month, increasing to $60 a month after you passed State Boards. The 1950’s were the era of rock and roll. Hours were reduced to 44 per week. More emphasis was placed on correlation of theory to practice. The Class of 1966 was the last to wear the bib and apron uniform. After that, came different styles of one-piece uniforms. It was during this period that the decision was made to close our School of Nursing. So it was the Class of 1988 that graduated and ended 80 years of preparing nurses at St. Joseph’s Hospital.”

Class of 1967:

Yes, we were the first class to wear the one-piece “modern” uniforms. Here’s a classmate modeling it on Capping Day:

Capping Day

We were also the first class to attend Elmira College for several credit-bearing courses.

We made it through three years of hard work, including all the affiliations to the Montrose Psychiatric facility near Tarrytown, NY, the former Mt Morris Tuberculosis Sanatorium near Rochester, NY and Roswell Park Cancer Institute in Buffalo, NY. 

The Sisters of St Joseph nurtured us and kept us accountable thus preparing us all for the daunting task of nursing. Their lessons are still with me:

Sister Juliana (RIP)

 

 

Sister Marie Michael

 

 

Finally, we became “real” nurses:

Looking back to 1960…

In 1960, I stared out the study hall window after reading a passage from Anne Snow, Mountain Nurse, my heart pounding so loudly I thought my eighth grade classmates could hear it. I wanted to scream out, I want to be a nurse. I wanted to be like Anne Snow, a community health nurse riding into their mountains to minister to poor people in their rundown cabins.

Anne Snow, Mountain Nurse by Dorothy Deming, copyright 1947,

1964-67

Lyndon B. Johnson was president and our country was entrenched in the Vietnam War. We had survived the Cuban Missile Crisis, JFK’s Assassination and the summer of race riots in Buffalo, New York, where my classmates and I had to be escorted by armed guards from the dorms to the hospital while on a clinical rotation to Roswell Park Cancer Institute in Buffalo, New York.

My clinical group

 

Graduation Day…

September, 1967 Graduation Day

In September of 1967, I was bursting with pride on graduation day. As I held the dozen red roses against my stark white uniform, I felt that life couldn’t possibly get any better. I had my nursing cap, crisp white and pointed, a symbol of pride and accomplishment. I was walking into the daydream I’d had in eighth grade study hall after reading Anne Snow, Mountain Nurse. ((Excerpt from Ever Faithful to His Lead: My Journey Away From Emotional Abuse, page 35)

 

 

50 Years Later…

 

 

And here we are in 2017, 50 years later, reliving those precious times when our dreams of becoming nurses became a reality.

Some of the “Golden Girls ” of the Class of 1967

 

We were twenty-years-old again as we reconnected and recounted the highlights of our lives–the births, the deaths, the happy and sad occasions, the current status of our ever changing lives.

Lots of catching up

Facetime with a classmate
who couldn’t be with us

Back to the 60s

But some things don’t change…

 

Some Valuable Lessons From the Reunion:

 

Time does not erase the friendships and camaraderie you developed at a time when you were developing your life path..

 

Roomies in Syracuse,NY after graduation: Julie, Kieran, Maureen and Kathy. Oh,the memories!

 

No matter how many changes you experience over the span of your life, you are still the same person with the same basic values…

 

Reliving memories of a time gone by is a joyful experience…

***

Happy Nurse’s Week to my dear friends and nursing colleagues who have had the privilege of being a nurse and making a positive difference in the lives of many over the years.

 

***

How about you? What lessons have you learned when attending a reunion?

I’d love to hear from you. Please join in the conversation below~

***

Next Week:

“Seven Things I Learned From My Son About Sobriety by Libby Cataldi”

Libby is the author of Stay Close: A Mother’s Story of Her Son’s Addiction, a gripping memoir of hope and healing in the face of addiction.

Interview with Memoirist Pattie Welek Hall: Stepping Back Into My Joy

Posted by Kathleen Pooler/@kathypooler with Pattie Welek Hall/@pattiewelekhall

“The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.” ~ Alan Watts

Photo Credit: Pixabay Free Image

Please join me in welcoming memoirist Pattie Welek Hall in this interview about her poignant and heartfelt memoir, A Mother’s Dance: One Step Back, Two Steps Forward, Full Circle.   Pattie faced a parent’s worst nightmare, calamitous events with not one but two young adult sons—one who suffered a traumatic brain injury from a motorcycle accident and the other with addiction. As the mother of a son, her gripping story touched me deeply on a personal level. She is featured in this post. Pattie and I met after my good friend and writing colleague Marian Beaman recommended A Mother’s Dance to me.

Pattie describes how she “stepped back into her joy” after suffering insurmountable grief…

For me, the picture of me sitting behind my desk ready to embark on my new career in radio best describes the quote.  You see, after living in grief for years I finally got sick and tired of being sick and tired of swimming in it and knew that the currents had to shift or I was going to drown.

Ready to make the plunge, I grabbed paper and pen and started jotting questions:

 

What’s the opposite of grief?  Joy
What have you always wanted to do? Talk radio.
Who do you want to interview? People who have inspiring stories that will educate and empower others to step into their joy.  

 

That was it. The answers were right in front of me. Plotting a new course and setting sail on a new adventure after experiencing every mother’s worst nightmare—twice, was inevitable. Two weeks later Joy Radio: People Inspiring People was created and guests were booked for the following three months. (I’ve taken a sabbatical from Joy Radio until I finish my upcoming novel.)

 

My reviews of A Mother’s Dance can be found on Amazon, Goodreads, LibraryThings and Riffle.

 

Welcome, Pattie!

Memoir Author Pattie Welek Hall

 

Stepping Back into My Joy

 

KP: As mentioned in a previous post, A Mother’s Dance sparked fireworks in my mind. I am the mother of an addict and reading it had me jotting down scenes from my own life. How did you find the strength to tell your story in such intimate detail?

 

PWH: I can’t take all the credit, Kathleen. If it wasn’t for my editors and publisher pushing me to dig deeper, I’m not sure I would have gone there. Living through the pain was one thing; reliving it took everything I had and more. Yet even though I kicked and screamed, I knew in order for the story to be authentic I had to reveal the details, every last one of them…the good and the bad.

 

KP: Did your children read your manuscript? How did they handle having their lives discussed?

 

PWH: My children are my world and having their stamp of approval was paramount. Annie read an earlier draft and said, “Go for it, Mom.” Casey…well, reading books isn’t his thing but I did keep him abreast of the content during the process. To this day, Casey hasn’t completed my memoir but he’s promised to listen to the audio book.  That is, if I ever get it recorded!

 

KP: You mentioned that you “wrote this book in hopes that it would bring healing to others. Instead I discovered that I was the one who was healed. Can you tell us more about that?

 

PWH: So often I found myself telling bits and pieces of the story to others: How Casey beat the odds. How he became the hospital’s miracle boy. How during Casey’s lowest lows angels appeared for him and Earth angels appeared for me. How synchronicity was at play, especially when Casey met the guy on the train who had witnessed his accident and called 911. Believing Casey’s story could help others to find hope where there was only despair; I decided to pen the story. Yet, what came next was totally unexpected. The deeper I dove into the story, the more I felt. The more I felt, the more I cried. The more I cried, the more I healed. I often tell people it’s not global warming that’s caused the oceans to rise, that it’s my tears.

 

KP: When I read your story, I was struck by how your characters came alive on the page, from your children to the doctors and nurses to the families in the waiting room of the hospital who shared your journey. How do you feel you were able to accomplish this?

 

PWH: I believe it was Ernest Hemmingway who said, “The only kind of writing is rewriting.” So for me, as I’m sure for most authors, the real magic began in the rewrites. And trust me, there were many of them! Each time I reread the manuscript I felt like I was looking through a different lens, a lens that allowed me to see, hear, smell, or feel a character differently. It was like rotating a kaleidoscope tube and watching the mirror reflect back an ever-changing pattern—deeper, richer, and more colorful than before.

 

KP: It seems to me you used your intuitive powers as well as your spiritual beliefs to navigate through the nightmare of your children’s suffering. Can you tell us more about that? How it worked for you? For others?

 

PWH: My faith has always been the cornerstone to who I am. Yet it’s one thing to have faith when all is going well, and another when life is crumbling before your eyes. I remember thinking after I received the phone call that God was going to put my faith to the test. I’m not sure that’s what He had planned, but the thought did cross my mind. As the days unfolded, as the trials became more intense and more challenging, my faith didn’t waver. That’s all I had. That’s all I trusted. That’s all I believed in.

 

KP: In reading your story, I wonder if I could ever handle such tragedy with courage, grace and resilience. What do you most want to share with mothers who have to face watching their children suffer with addiction? How can they “step back into joy”?

PWH: It all comes down to love. Tough love. And self- love.

 

I’ve given these questions much thought and rather than writing a gospel, I thought I’d leave you with a thought to ponder over, which I feel applies to both: let love become the lens through which you see and embrace life and may gratitude always be your silent prayer.

 

KP: Do you have any other lessons or tips you’d like to share about your journey or about publishing your memoir?

 

PWH:  I don’t believe any person leaves this world without enduring storms in life, some mild and some treacherous—loss of a job, divorce, terminal disease, addiction, and loss of a child or loved one… Yet it’s not the size of the squall that matters; it’s how we handle it that counts.  We can choose to stay stuck in our grief or step into the life we were meant to create. I hope that my story of a mother’s love, the sad and the wondrous, will inspire others to brave their storms.

 

If you feel called to write your story, fill the pages with the beating of your heart.

***

Thank you, Pattie, for sharing the story of your heart so openly and honestly. Your words will give hope to many who have faced deep personal tragedy and need to find their way back to their joy.

***

Author Bio:

Pattie Welek Hall is the author of a children’s book, Believe, translated into Spanish, Creer. Her memoir, A Mother’s Dance: One Step Back, Two Steps Forward, Full Circle was named a Pulpwood Queen Book Club Bonus Pick, a 2013 Shortlist Finalist for the Pirate’s Alley Faulkner award for “Narrative Nonfiction, ” and won Finalist in the “Health: Psychology/Mental Health” category of the 2016 Best Book Awards.” She’s been published in International Brain Injury Association 10th World Congress scientific journal, “Brain Injury”, and Chicken Soup for the Soul: Recovering from Traumatic Brain Injuries, and she hosts an Internet radio talk show, Joy Radio, from Charleston, South Carolina, where she makes her home. Learn more at:

http://pattiewelekhall.com/

https://www.facebook.com/PattieWelekHallAuthor

https://twitter.com/pattiewelekhall

https://www.pinterest.com/pattiewelkhall/

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/25909184-a-mother-s-dance

https://www.instagram.com/pattiewelek...

email: pattie@pattiewelekhall.com

 

Book Synopsis:

 

How does one measure the depth of a mother’s love? Pattie never thought it possible until she experienced every mother’s worst nightmare–twice.



With all three kids in college and thriving, Pattie is excited about embarking on her new career as community relations manager at Barnes & Noble. That is, until she receives word that her nineteen-year-old son has been admitted to the Medical University of South Carolina and tagged ‘John Doe’ after he suffered a traumatic brain injury. Now her sole concern is to get to Charleston, 250 miles away, before he takes his final breath.



Although Casey is given only twenty-four hours to live, Pattie clings to her faith and refuses to accept his death sentence. During Casey’s long and arduous healing, Pattie takes a hard look at the past–the kids’ tender childhood memories, their challenging teenage years, the skeletons in the closet, and the circumstances that have formed her into who she has become. When tragedy struck again, Pattie must make a choice–to remain stuck in her grief or to step into the life she’s meant to create.



Moving and heart-wrenching, A Mother’s Dance is an inspirational story about family relationships, hope, perseverance, self-discovery, hard choices, and most importantly about love…the sad and the wondrous.



I wrote this book in hopes it would bring healing to others, Hall says. Instead, I discovered that I was the one who healed.

Amazon Author Page and buy link

***

How about you? How do you “step back into your joy” after you’ve been challenged with a life crisis? 

We’d love to hear from you. Please leave join in the conversation below~

***

Next Week:

Monday, 5/8/17:

“Three Valuable Lessons From My 50th Nursing School Reunion: A Memoir Moment”

Moment of Clarity: A Memoir Moment

PPosted by Kathleen Pooler/@kathypooler

[image error]

Photo Credit: Sue Krebs

 

Moment of Clarity: A Memoir Moment

 

A moment of clarity is often described as a sudden, and deep acceptance of some truth that you’ve been unable to see or accept.

It stems from a period of confusion and uncertainty. Sometimes, there’s the Eureka moment when an idea feels right and it becomes clear what direction you need to take. But then that moment slips away and you are back to weighing the options.

Decision Time…

As I’ve written about before, I am in the throes of deciding what my next step will be since being rejected for a kidney transplant on 3/24/17.

If I hadn’t felt so positive and allowed myself to ride a wave of hope, visualizing a future free from dependence on a machine for my very life, the fall probably wouldn’t have been so hard.

A Period of Grieving…

Shocked and dismayed, I entered into a period of grief about what could have been, railing against my lot, tethered to a machine and exhausted from the cumbersome daily routine. I have always valued wellness and being physically fit. I’ve had to learn to listen to my body and give up Zumba classes, long hikes and any activity that requires burning calories. I’ve always valued a healthy diet and weight but fluid imbalances make it impossible to control my weight no matter how careful I am with my diet. Plus I get 500 extra calories of glucose every day in the dialysis fluid.

In the grand scheme of things, this feels like I’m being petty and whiny. It could probably classify as a “First World” problem. I have to keep reminding myself that I did survive a life-threatening cancer twenty-one years ago.

Yet, I know I have to acknowledge and honor my feelings of loss that I am experiencing.

On and on, and you see where I’m going with this futile self-talk…

A Cloud of Confusion…

Photo Credit: Pixabay Free Image: “Lake”

I need a moment of clarity, where I can see my way clear through the fog of painful realizations that my life has been irrevocably changed by factors beyond my control.

“Chill for a month,” says Dr, Morgan, my nephrologist at my last clinic appointment. “Think about how well you are doing on dialysis and we’ll talk about it next month. If you want to pursue another evaluation at a different facility, I will facilitate that for you. But let me make it very clear, this is your decision.”

Chill.

The angel on my right shoulder is telling me that I have many reasons to be very grateful. I am cured of cancer and am still around to enjoy my beautiful grandchildren. I am sharing my life with a loving husband and living out my dreams of being an author. The peritoneal dialysis has made me feel better and enabled me to participate in many of the activities I enjoy.

The devil on my other shoulder is reminding me of all the inconveniences that being on dialysis creates—the endless daily tasks, the burdens of managing all the medications and supplies, the limits imposed on activities I chose to engage in, the lack of freedom in travel. The lack of energy to function like I want to.

The two are battling it out in my mind and I just want to make a decision one way or the other. Go for another evaluation or accept life as it is. Period.

There are pros and cons for each choice. While the surgery offers me the promise of freedom, it comes at a high risk. And yet, maybe it will be successful…

The Quandary of Choices…

I decided to pull out all stops, to step back from the incessant chatter in my head, to wipe the mental slate clean of all the confusion and chaos.

I started Tai Chi classes, scheduled weekly therapeutic massages, set up sessions for healing touch and have made more time for daily scripture reading and prayer. I’m also trying to be more active on the days I feel able.

I’m waiting for that breakthrough where the answer flows effortlessly, the choice clear. But I have to be patient.

Pulling from past successes…

As I reflect back, I realize I can get inspiration from past moments of clarity…

From Chapter 25, “New Year’s Eve Resolution”, Ever Faithful to His Lead: My Journey Away From Emotional Abuse, p. 130:

After years of struggling in an emotionally-abusive marriage to a man who abused alcohol, a moment of clarity came to me as an epiphany:

The phone rang every fifteen minutes in the early morning hours after New Year’s Eve with apologies and frantic requests from Ed to pick him up at the bar. I hung up on him. After a while, I ignored his calls. By the time he was dropped off at 7 a.m. by a friend, I had made a decision. Sitting straight up in bed, arms folded, I made a commitment to myself and my children. It would be the last New Year’s Eve of its kind in my lifetime.

 And it was.

When I make a decision, I want it to be for the right reasons. I want it to feel right with no regrets or turning back. I want to stand in my truth.

And then I want to let it go and live my life with whatever my decision ends up being.

[image error]

Photo Credit: iStockphoto “Truth”

I am reminded of a quote by Mandy Hall:

“Happiness is letting go of what you think your life is supposed to look like and celebrating it for everything it is.”

***

 

How about you? Do you have any moments of clarity to share? How did it happen? How did it make you feel? 

 

I’d love to hear from you. Please join in the conversation below~

 

***

This Week:

Monday, 4/24/17:

April 2017 Newsletter: Updates, Memoir Musings and Max Moments:

“Daffodil Time”

Next Week:

Monday, 5/1/17:

“Interview with Memoir Author Pattie Welek Hall: A Mother’s Dance”

Pattie is the author of a stunning memoir, A Mother’s Dance. It is a heart wrenching and moving story about hope, perseverance, self-discovery, hard choices and love in facing a mother’s worst nightmare –twice.

 

 

 

How Writing About Grief Became My Sacred Ground by Lisa Irish

Posted by Kathleen Pooler/@kathypooler with Lisa Irish/@lisairishlight

“Writing is like driving at night in the fog. You can only see as far as your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way.” E. L. Doctorow

I am pleased to introduce you to Lisa Irish. Lisa and I first met last summer met at the IWWG Conference in Muhlenburg University in Allentown , Pennsylvania. I began following Lisa’s blog,  Glimmers , described on her website as:

… personal letters, little twinkles of light, are written to offer inspiration and connection to the larger community. It is hoped the voice of Love is heard through one woman’s experience and desire to share light with the world.

They are lovely reflections that make me step back and think about my life and my view of the world.

 

Welcome, Lisa!

Author and Hospital Chaplain Lisa Irish

How Writing About Grief Became My Sacred Ground

After I offered an update on my year long writing project, my friend said, “It sounds like the book is writing you.” He was right. Each time I dipped back into the words to rework, edit or add source material, I re-entered sacred space. I returned to a place of waiting and deep listening. I hoped my message was authentic and true, at least from my point of view, and that it might help others. At the same time, the year of writing has helped me reach a place of honesty and humility that feels like home.

 

You might be wondering about my project, certainly the topic was as much a part of the process as the writing. After eleven years as a hospital chaplain with my primary ministry in bereavement, I had the opportunity to write about grief for publication. I began with CareNotes for Abbey Press and was later asked to rework one of them, Grieving with a Grateful Heart, into an Elf-Help book. It was published in January of 2016. At the same time, I pitched and was given a contract to write Grieving – the Sacred Art for Skylight Paths Publishing as part of their Sacred Art series. It was official – I was a writer.

 

Thus began my journey back into the Land of Loss. To explore the sacred art of grieving, my intention was to describe the landscape of Loss and offer tools to navigate it’s various territories. I knew the Well of Sadness and the demands of Surrender. I had traveled, over and over, through the agonizing forests of Passage and was painfully familiar with Secret Yearning. But I also knew the Fountain of Hope, it’s waters had soothed my journey and I believed it could offer hope to other travelers in the Land of Loss.

 

I did not understand, however, the impact that writing a book to help others would have on me. I did not fully appreciate the influence of the writing process on my inner life. Each time I returned to Alone, Passage, Surrender and Changed – the four territories in the land of Loss – I entered an emotional experience of feeling stranded, of surviving, of letting go, of allowing transformation. My work deepened after each revision, my heart claimed what I was learning.

 

My story is not woven into the body of the book, instead I shared stories of those I worked with at the hospital to illustrate how I have come to understand grief. But my story is, of course, the place I return to retrieve wisdom and insight, to find my ground. It is the counterpoint to fellow grievers’ stories, bereavement research and grief theories that I learned in my work as a chaplain. My story is my teacher. My friend’s suggestion that the book was “writing me,” gave voice to the gift that writing has become in my life. In this case, it led me to a felt-sense of my own transformation and a return to my soul.

 

Writing and grieving are similar. They each provide a reliable, yet mysterious, template for movement through the unknown.

As a writer, I may have a sense of where I am headed, but at the same time, I remain open to new ideas or shifts that ask a little more of me. Grief, too, offers a path to follow. But if I listen carefully, I might find myself asking questions or facing fears that come forward unexpectedly. While painful, grief guides me through loss toward love.

Grief is my ally in the ways of Loss, just as writing is my muse in the mystery of Life.

The light that each provides shines just as far as I need to make the journey, one step at a time. My task is to keep going and to trust the great Wisdom that underlies the human story, that informs my story.

Photo Credit: Christine MacDonald

***

Author Bio:

Lisa Irish, MEd, MA is a board certified Chaplain, Spiritual Director and Retreat leader in central Connecticut. She was inspired by the International Women’s Writer’s Guild to create a website, www.lisairish.com, to facilitate her dreams for publication. The site became a launching place for her vision of This Little Light, a resource for encouraging, witnessing and sharing light in the world. She can also be found at www.facebook.com/lisairishlight/ for brief, uplifting messages. Lisa posts and distributes “Glimmers” though her website, CareNotes and her first book are published through Abbey Press. Her second book, Grieving – a Sacred Art will be published in 2017 through Skylight Paths Publishing.

 

Grieving with a Grateful Heart Synopsis:

Although each person’s needs and style of grieving is unique, there are universal themes that can help all of us. The invitation offered in this book reaches across individual ways of grieving to help you move toward healing. The author’s wisdom will help you cultivate a spirit of gratitude for your lost loved one, as you renew the bonds of love and discover that the love you shared will always endure.

Genre: Elf Self Help

Paperback

Publisher: Abbey Press (2016)

 

Amazon Link:

https://www.amazon.com/Grieving-Grateful-Heart-Self-Help/dp/0870296949

 

***

Thank you Lisa for offering this hopeful and uplifting perspective on the grief process. Grief is so often feared or avoided but, through your work, you offer a template for understanding and using our grief to deepen our spiritual journey on this earth.

How about you?  How does grief manifest itself in your life? Do you find gifts in grief?

We’d love to hear from you. Please join in the conversation below~

***

Announcement:

Free Amazon download of April edition of The Book Fun Digital Magazine, April 17-18. I’m honored to have a story about my journey through my son’s addiction on page 65 under the Matters of the Heart section via Carol Graham

Next Week:

Monday, 4/24/17:

“Moments of Clarity: A Memoir Moment”

April 2017 Newsletter: Updates, Memoir Musings, Max Moments:

“Daffodil Time”

Takeaways from The Third Annual B2B Cyber Convention and Book Expo, 2017

Posted by Kathleen Pooler/@kathypooler

“Sometimes you just have to take a leap and grow your wings on the way down”~ Kobi Yamada

Photo Credit: social entrepreneurs.com

 

Now that the Brain to Books Third Annual Cyber Convention and Book Expo is over, I will share the takeaways, as promised.

The B2B Convention was a learn-as–you –go activity for me. I decided to participate to gain more exposure for my memoir and I figured I would learn along the way.

My Takeaways:

In retrospect, it was a huge undertaking but under the guidance of Charlene Jones, the manager for the Memoir genre, I learned to take it in baby steps.

I often felt confused but eventually I caught on.

Honestly, sometimes the steep learning curve felt painful and frustrating …but the rapid response from Charlene, Angela Chrysler,  author and founder of the event, and her team made it do-able.

The magnitude of the audience and the tasks involved was mind-boggling. The projected audience was 3,000-5,000, including 300 authors worldwide.

A Goodreads Groups with several staff members was formed to address the myriad of questions by participant-authors. Though overwhelming at times, every time I posted a question, I received a prompt response. Handholding comes to mind and I welcomed it.

The Memoir Genre:

There were many events to register for but I kept it simple by registering for five in the Memoir genre: Author Showcase, Book Expo (scroll to end for memoir), Blog Tour, Genre Tour and two memoir panels.

Check out the Panel #1  and Panel#2 where we gathered around the table to explore the theme of how reading memoir contributes to healing in the reader and wherever else our minds and hearts flowed.

 

While there was a frenzy of activity going on around me, I chose to stay focused on my selected events. The main point being, it is your choice how much or how little you do.

And no one kept attendance so if you got tied up on the days of the convention as I did (buying a new car and tending to family), there are no consequences. The beauty of it is that the information I prepared is out there in cyberspace for the next year.

As far as tangible results, I’ve seen increased website traffic, met some wonderful new friends and been introduced to some fascinating new memoirs which are on my TBR list.

Book sales remain to be seen.

Making meaningful connections is always the highlight for me in any marketing event.

Would I do it again?

Yes, without hesitation, especially now that I’ve had a trial run and now know what to expect.

It’s a wonderful opportunity for new and experienced Indie authors who want to find a way to get their work out there on the international stage.

My hat is off to Angela, and her amazing staff who pulled together all these authors and events into one fun-filled and frenzied weekend of books,books,books.

Here’s the link to the 2018 B2B convention information.

***

How about you? Would you consider taking the leap and participating  in B2BCyberCon 2018? 

***

Next Week:

Monday, 4/17/17:

“How Writing About Grief Became My Sacred Ground by Lisa Irish”

Lisa is a board certified Chaplain, Spiritual Director and Retreat leader in central Connecticut. Her first book is Grieving with a Grateful Heart. Her second book, Grieving,a Scared Art will be published in 2017.