Kathleen Pooler's Blog, page 20
January 29, 2018
The Magic of the Blank Page: Rewriting My Way Into My Story
Posted by Kathleen Pooler/@kathypooler
“The blank page in the mind has to be filled before you have the courage to face the actual blank page.” — Jonathon Franzen
Photo Credit: Free Google Image
The Magic of the Blank Page: Rewriting My Way Into My Story
For most writers, crafting a story requires multiple rewrites.
Memoir writing is a journey of discovery as the story slowly reveals itself.
After twenty years of writing the stories of my life and feeling the passion to tell the story of the simultaneous journey through my son’s addiction and my own cancer diagnosis, I submitted my 50,000 word manuscript for professional editing. I had taken it as far as I could on my own, including through a round of eight beta readers, and knew there were flaws in the story structure.
When I received my first round of professional edits, there were so many comments and suggestions that I decided to start over.
I am once again facing the blank page by choice.
Staring at a blank page can feel like an ominous task. But, instead, it feels like a jumpstart to a new beginning for my story. I realized that I was not clear on the premise of my story and was spinning my wheels trying to fix it.
Restarting with a blank page has helped me to rewrite my way into my story.
It has forced me to rethink the following questions:
*What is my purpose in writing this story?
*What slice of my life will be the focus?
*How will I tell my story?
*Where will I enter into my story?
*What are the stakes?
*Whom will I offend in the process of writing my truth?
*How will I weave all the strands together?
*Where will the story end?
*What will the overriding theme be–the takeaway?
Of course, I already know that often times the answers to these questions can only be revealed through the writing.
I also know from writing my first memoir Ever Faithful to His Lead: My Journey Away From Emotional Abuse, that what I start out writing may not be what I end up with.
Getting those stories out of my head and onto the page has given me a jumpstart.
Why the Blank Page Has Been Magic For Me:
Photo Credit: Flickr Creative Commons
Starting over fresh has enabled me to focus on the threads /themes that hold my story together.
Now that I’m more clear on these themes, I can go deeper into the narrative, concentrating on the details that matter.
Starting fresh has sparked my creative energies and new ideas are flowing faster than I can write them down. Scenes I had forgotten are now swirling in my mind, like a faucet that has been turned on and keeps flowing.
As I face the many edits, I feel more confident which ones to accept and which ones to disregard as I stay true to my voice.
Facing the blank page does not mean starting from scratch. The story is already there, in my mind, waiting to reveal itself to me.
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And so I keep digging, deeper and deeper with each rewrite. I am writing the scenes that flash through my brain and take me back to those the moments where time stood still and hope seemed distant, taking time to reflect on the meaning of the incident as the wiser narrator; to offer takeaways that will benefit my reader.
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I hope you enjoy this five-minute You Tube video “8 Writers on Facing the Blank Page” :
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How about you? What has your experience been with facing a blank page? Is it one of dread or inspiration? Do you have any tips to share?
I’d love to hear from you . Please join in the conversation below~
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Next Week:
Monday, 02/05/18:
“Why We Read and Write Memoir by Nancy Julien Kopp”
Nancy has been published in 18 Chicken Soup for the Soul books, several other anthologies, newspapers, magazines and e-zines. Her writing includes award winning fiction for children, creative nonfiction, poetry, travel and personal essays.
This Week:
Monday, 1/29/18:
January 2018 Newsletter: Updates, Memoir Musings, Max Moments:
“Winter Musings”
If you are interested in receiving this monthly newsletter in your inbox, please sign up in the right side bar. I’d love to have you along!
January 22, 2018
Connecting with My Readers by Memoirist Betty Hafner
Posted by Kathleen Pooler/@kathypooler with Betty Hafner/@BettyHafner
“As I create and listen, I will be led.” ~Julia Cameron
Photo Credit: Pixabay Free
I am very pleased to introduce you to memoirist Betty Hafner who will share how writing her memoir Not Exactly Love helped her find the heart of her story and readers who would be inspired by her message. Betty and I met online.
My reviews of Not Exactly Love: A Memoir can be found on Amazon, Goodreads, LibraryThings and Riffle.
Welcome, Betty!
Memoirist Betty Hafner
Connecting with My Readers
A slip of paper periodically unearths itself on my desk. It has only one scribbled sentence on it. It holds words I didn’t want to forget; they made me look at my writing in a new way. It reads,
“At different points in history and culture, stories were prescribed for people who were sick at heart.”
That message stayed with me throughout the five years I worked on Not Exactly Love, a memoir about my abusive marriage in the ‘70s. I had never expected to write about that five-year period of my life. Who would want to tell the world about such a dark time? But one day, I needed inspiration for a piece to workshop with my non-fiction writing group. I dug through my favorite writing books and spotted a prompt that grabbed me by the heart. “If only…” it said. Those two words propelled me to write about the misgivings that overwhelmed me, on my wedding day, about my husband-to-be. The scene almost wrote itself.
“More,” my group demanded as they read my piece. “Keep going. You’re onto something.” THAT? I thought. They want me to write more about THAT? “Long forgotten,” I told them. “Years of therapy.” “Second husband for thirty years.”
Yet, the door had opened a crack, and the memories started flowing. Vivid scenes from those distant years came to me, and I got them down, in no particular order. Laughing together on our boat. A call to the police. A sex therapy session. It was becoming simply a collection of stories with no shape, not the kind of memoir I’d like to read.
The decision to turn these stories into a book was a gradual one, but once I determined to do that, my readers began to collect themselves in front of my eyes, and they told me what they wanted to hear. I imagined some readers lived with difficult men—abusers, possibly, emotionally and/or physically. Other readers had a daughter or sister or friend whom they guessed was being hurt and wanted to understand her silence. Still others wanted to know or to be reminded how different the life of a woman was in those years.
It could no longer be just a book just about my marriage. It would have to be a story about me. I would need to show readers who I was in my twenties. What did I think I wanted? What did I really want? How did I grow to understand the difference? The path I thought I should be on was Marriage (with a capital M) and the whole package of a hubby, home and kids. There was another path, though, that became clearer to me. That was the desire to grow into myself. To become the creative, independent person I was as my story ended and I have continued to be. But there was an obstacle, and that was feeling trapped in a marriage I had chosen.
The concept of needing to find myself helped me form the spine of my story. It directed me to look deeper to understand how I grew during those years from a programmed girl of the 1950s and ‘60s to a self-actualized, strong woman. I felt if I’m able to show myself as honestly as I can, as I move through that process, I might be able to give hope and inspiration to others. We all have challenges along that journey, and mine was marrying a young husband who was troubled by the abusive home he grew up, in but was frightening and dangerous to live with.
Reflection. That became my priority. Speaking from my wiser adult voice. Showing my thoughts and actions as honestly and openly as I could. Admitting to actions and feelings that may be familiar to readers, but adding my hard-gained understanding. Looking back at my younger self with compassion and kindness, and giving hope and inspiration to my readers.
There is nothing more satisfying to me than hearing my readers say, “your story helped me understand.”
Photo Credit: “Reading Books” from Google Free Images
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Thank you, Betty, for sharing your memoir writer’s journey with us. It is evident that being clear on your purpose for writing your story has helped you find readers. Your words validate the power sharing our stories has for ourselves and others.
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Not Exactly Love: A Memoir Synopsis:
It was 1969, and all the rules were changing, when Betty, a woefully single French teacher on Long Island, met the handsome but edgy new teacher at her school, a hippie just back from Woodstock. His vitality opened up a new world to her―but when they married, his rages turned against her, and often ended with physical violence.
Awards, 2017:
Reader’s Choice Book Award, Relationships
Indie Publisher’s Book Award, Sexuality, Relationshps
Next Generation Indie Book Award, Relationships
Independence Press Award, Memoir
International Book Award
Author Bio and Contact Information:
Betty Hafner lives outside Washington, DC and writes a popular monthly book column in The Town Courier newspapers in Montgomery County, MD. With a M. S. in counseling she was a teacher and counselor in high schools and colleges for twenty-five years. She continues to lead workshops, give talks and facilitate groups. She wrote two practical career-change books that stemmed from her workshops―Where Do I Go From Here? (Lippincott) and The Nurse’s Guide to Starting a Small Business (Pilot Books). She loves telling stories through her drawings, photographs, and writing.
Website: http://www.bettyhafner.com
Twitter: @BettyHafner
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How about you? For writers, what has inspired you to turn your life stories into a memoir? How do you find your readers? For readers, what inspires you to read memoir?
We’d love to hear from you. Please join in the conversation below~
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Next Week:
Monday, 01/29/18
“The Magic of the Blank Page: Rewriting My Way Into My Story”
January 2018 Newsletter: Monthly Updates, Memoir Musings and Max Moments
If you are interested in receiving this monthly newsletter in your inbox, please sign up in the right side bar. I’d love to have you along!
January 15, 2018
Tips on Getting Through the Revision Process as Painlessly as Possible
Posted by Kathleen Pooler/@kathypooler
“The beautiful part of writing is that you don’t have to get it right the first time, unlike,say, a brain surgeon.You can always do it better, find the exact word, the apt phrase, the leaping simile.” Robert Cormier
Photo Credit The Loft:https://writersblock.loft.org/2013/10/1
Tips on Getting Through the Revision Process as Painlessly as Possible
Let’s face it, we all want our readers to fall in love with our little darlings. Our stories are our babies. We have created them with our own hearts and hands. But, sometimes we are so close to our own words that we cannot see the discrepancies,missteps and omissions-the tweaks here and there that will make our stories come alive.
Professional editing is an essential part of publishing a marketable book.
Over my Christmas break, I received an editorial review and the first round of professional edits for my work-in-progress memoir. I braced myself for the feedback, knowing from the experience of writing Ever Faithful to His Lead: My Journey Away From Emotional Abuse, how much more work I would be facing. I had already received feedback from eight beta readers and knew there were flaws in my story structure.
First I scanned through the comments, then I set it aside. The comments were substantive and thorough and would force me to keep digging deeper.
Deep revision occurs when we create major shifts in structure, voice, and content.
I have a love -hate relationship with the revision process. I dread the thought of all that hard work, yet feel excited about taking my story to the next level.
In the meantime, my son Brian was visiting and we found a pocket of time for him to read through my current draft before the professional edit. We sat in front of the wood stove as he read the story aloud, pausing to nod his approval or to make note on the paper about a discrepancy in the timeline.
“I didn’t know you felt that way, Mom.”
“I don’t recall that but this is your story, Mom.”
We paused to process each event, like the first time I saw him drunk and every once in a while he said,
“I’m OK with this, Mom. Some parts are hard to face but I accept that they happened. I am the man I am today because of my misspent youth.”
“This book will be a collaborative effort, B.”
Tips on Getting though the Revision Process
1. Give yourself time to absorb the feedback
Jody Hedlund, author of several Christian novels,has an excellent blog post on her reactions to her own revision process, “Getting Feedback That Makes You Want to Cry.” Of the “initial sting’ of feedback, she states “ you need to give it some time and then come back to the suggestions with humble and objective eyes.” I really appreciate Jody’s honest sharing of the human aspect of receiving feedback.
2. Remain open to ways to strengthen your story
The point is we have to be able to separate our emotions from the process of revising and convince ourselves that revising will make our stories stronger. We have to get over ourselves so we can go on to craft the best story in the best way.
3. Writing is rewriting is a common mantra in writing circles.
In his book Revision and Self-Editing, novelist James Scott Bell talks about the importance of “rewriting with know-how” and lists the following tips in the revision process:
“* Cool -Down …..Take a break and walk away when your first draft is done.
* Prepare.…. Read through your first draft completely for the first time.
* Print out and prepare a fresh copy..with red felt pen and notepad handy.
* Get ready to read.. in a couple of sittings.
* Use outside readers..for objective opinions.
* Analyze..Does my story make sense, is my plot compelling,are my characters believable,etc?”
Then,there’s the idea of being able to decide when our manuscript is done; when we’ve rewritten, incorporated feedback, deleted, added on,transformed our story and owned it. Perhaps this is another topic for another time.
It seems to me accepting writing as rewriting, revisions as a natural part of the process and constructive feedback as essential are all the first steps to strengthening our stories and giving them every possible chance to get into the hands of readers who will devour them with the same gusto it took for us to write them.
Perhaps the real starting point is when we accept that our first draft is lousy and needs to be rewritten, revised and reconstructed. Annie Lamott calls a first draft ” a child who is let loose and romps all over” in her book, Bird by Bird.
After much thought…
Interesting, after spending time with the feedback, I decided to heed the words of author David Safford in “How to Revise Your Story”:
“Rewrite on a blank page: A crowded page is a prison; a blank page is freedom.”
I started fresh with a blank page, identified a new working title, rewrote the synopsis and have begun incorporating the changes with attention to the main theme of the role hope played in healing from cancer and a son’s addiction.
I am writing with a clearer purpose and feel excited about where it will lead.
Photo Credit: Pixabay Free
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How about you? How do you feel about revising your work? Do you enjoy or dread the revision process? Any ideas on how to get through the revision process as painlessly as possible?
I’d love to hear from you. Please join in the conversation below~
***
Next Week:
Monday, 01/22/18:
“Connecting with My Readers by Memoirist Betty Hafner”
Betty is the author of a #1 Amazon Bestseller memoir, Not Exactly Love .Part memoir, part warm-hearted look at the ’70s, and part therapeutic journey, Not Exactly Love: A Memoir is an intense and inspirational story of a woman who grew from her experience.
January 8, 2018
Reflections on Truth in Adoption by Memoirist Paige Strickland
Posted by Kathleen Pooler/@kathypooler with Paige L. Strickland/@plastrickland23
“Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom.” Thomas Jefferson
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Photo Credit: iStockphoto “Truth”
I am pleased to welcome back memoirist Paige L. Strickland to share her thoughts on truth in adoption. Paige is the author of two memoirs. Akin to the Truth and her latest memoir, After the Truth.
Also, Paige wants you to know that she does a lot of book / film review entries on her WordPress blog, especially if they pertain to adoption. Sometimes it’s fiction, usually memoir but open to anything related to the adoption community. If a potential reader has an adoption-themed poem, film, book, article or other piece of art to share, she is happy to help cross-promote if she can. “We writers need to support one another!”
Welcome back, Paige!
Memoirist Paige L. Strickland
Reflections on Truth in Adoption by Memoirist Paige L. Strickland
I don’t know if it’s a myth or a misunderstanding going around, but a lot of folks seem to think that adopted people are either happy and grateful or angry and militant regarding being adopted. The notion suggests that happy and grateful adoptees never feel the need to search for and reunite with their family of origin, and that the furious adoptees want to liberate themselves from their adopters and other authoritative institutions of society that conduct adoptions: public and private agencies, lawyers, the Church, etc. The angry folks believe that all adoptions past and present are manipulative, illegal, immoral and do not put the child’s needs first. The happy adoptees believe that being adopted is a special gift and makes you and your adoptive parents blessed and always pleased with life.
Reality is somewhere in between, and this is the essence of all my writing regarding adoption. Specifically, I can only speak honestly about my own adoption and how that continues to affect my life, which is where my two memoir books, Akin To the Truth and the newest one, After the Truth come in.
The purpose of the first book was to share what being an adopted kid was like while growing up in the 1960s-80s. After The Truth is about how being adopted has been a part of all my relationships from parenthood, as a friend, spouse, co worker and member of two family circles all at once: the one in which I was raised and the one I found and reunited with between 1987 and 2002. It is about what do we do as reunited family members now and how reunion with biological family feels. It is about how we accept today and do not dwell excessively or negatively on the past while remaining realistic and curious about events long ago. It is about loving the ones you are with and seeking to understand and be understood. It is about the cycle of losing and gaining family members over the years as we find new ways to bond as siblings, cousins and parents.
After the Truth began slightly before I finished the first book. In other words, I didn’t plan to write a sequel initially, but something came to me one day, and there I went, but I knew it was not right for the first story. Writing, especially memoir writing, is a healing process providing closure for the author. I still had healing to do as I approached the conclusion of the first memoir.
Also, as I networked in new territory via social media and real life support groups for people involved in the adoption community, I saw a common thread: Adoption never goes away, even when you grow up, get married, get a job, have kids, shop for groceries, attend a sporting event or whatever. Many adoptees have feared publically discussing their feelings about being adopted unless it is to only say positive things.
My memoir, After the Truth, although not scathing and negative, hopefully gives a voice to the many (possibly majority of) adoptees who want acknowledgement that even on the best of days, being an adopted child or adult is not always easy and simple. Being adopted does not have to make you tearful, bitter and irate over unfair laws regarding closed birth records or rejections from bio-family, nor it does not obligate you to be a forever-grateful “servant” to those who adopted you. Regardless of how an adoptee feels about adoption, they should never be shamed or invalidated by family, authority figures or fellow adoptees.
After the Truth shares what I have observed and experienced as an adoptee while in joyous reunion with one side of my birth family but curiously waiting for communication from the other side of my birth family. It is about balancing my adoptive and in-law family relationships along with birth family because to me all members matter. It is about parenting my children and explaining as they were developmentally able to understand what happened to me and who is related to whom and how because when you are an adoptee, your own children become semi-adopted by default if your history is missing. You realize that having an authentic identity does not stop with you but carries into the next generation.
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Thank you, Paige for exploring the many facets of adoption that affect people. Although I’ve never experienced adoption myself, I experienced the consequences of an ex-husband’s adoption. He was the father of my two children and very secretive about the topic. He didn’t want to offend his adoptive parents by exploring his biological origins, yet seemed to hold a lot of anger inside. Also, this leaves my children’s medical history in the dark. I appreciate you sharing your thoughts on your adoption experience and shedding your light on truth in adoption.
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How about you? What are your thoughts or experiences with the truth in adoption?
We’d love to hear from you. Please join in the conversation below~
***
Synopsis of After the Truth:
What do you do when you are an adopted adult, trying to balance biological and adoptive families in addition to your own home life? How could being adopted have an impact on your career, your friendships and parenting decisions? What do you do when your biological family members still do not know about you, but only live 20 minutes away?
Being an adoptee is different as an adult-in-reunion compared to being an adopted child and knowing nothing, but the effects never disappear. In this sequel to Akin to the Truth: A Memoir of Adoption and Identity, Paige reflects on key moments in life as a teacher, spouse, parent, daughter and friend and how being an adopted person affects her perception of these crucial parts of living.
After the Truth addresses some unanswered questions from the previous book, Akin to the Truth and shares what being an adopted person experiences when they still might not have all the answers but must continue to successfully navigate through jobs, relationships and other aspects of adult life while waiting for more truths to be revealed.
Author Bio:
Paige Adams Strickland is a teacher, writer and fitness instructor from Cincinnati, Ohio. She is married with two daughters and two sons in law. Her work is featured in several anthologies including Sonia Marsh’s My Gutsy Story, Laura McHale Holland’s Sisters Born, Sisters Found, and Lynn Grubb’s The Adoptee Survival Guide.
Social media links:
Amazon Author Page:
https://www.amazon.com/Paige-Adams-Strickland/e/B00FQ6GU5C/ref=ntt_dp_epwbk_0
Twitter: https://twitter.com/plastrickland23
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AkintotheTruth/
Blog: https://stricklandp.wordpress.com
How to order books:
NEXT WEEK:
Monday, 1/15/18:
“Getting Through the Revision Process as Painlessly as Possible”
January 1, 2018
Reflections on 2017, Intentions for 2018
Posted by Kathleen Pooler/@kathypooler
“For last year’s words belong to last year’s language. And next year’s words await another voice.”
― T.S. Eliot, Four Quartets
2017 Reflections:
It’s that time of year when we look back on the past year, reflect upon the lessons learned and look forward to another year of new adventures. I love the idea of starting fresh on January 1.
Though 2017 was a year of challenge for me related to health challenges and changes, I’m happy to end the year on a positive note—in gratitude for life as it is. I’ve had to learn to slow down, listen to my body, yet keep moving forward. Some days have been better than others but the net result has been good. When I stopped resisting the limitations, I learned to adjust and go with the flow. My days of going full-tilt for days on end are over. I do what I can when I can and it’s OK.
Perhaps the greatest achievement over the year has been to complete the manuscript for my second memoir and submit it to a professional editor. The story that has been nagging at me since 1999, is now down on paper and on the road to publication. Now the real work of rewriting and polishing begins.
Memoir Writer’s Journey continues to be a place where people can gather to share the stories of their lives, sharing hope and inspiring one another. That’s exactly what I had envisioned when I started the blog in 2009. I am grateful to all my followers who keep me motivated to keep doing what I’m doing. Thank you!
2018 Intentions:
I’ll be happy to keep the momentum going by blogging weekly, doing guest posts and inviting others to share their stories on my blog.
My main focus this year will be revision and publication of my second memoir, On the Edge of Hope: A Mother’s Journey Through Her Son’s Addiction. I will continue to blog about the process.
Maximize my wellness through nutrition, daily exercise, spiritual practices and perhaps, most important, nurture my gratitude that I have a treatment option that is keeping me going.
As you can tell there are no big changes or plans. That’s all part of accepting life as it is while still striving to move forward .
I love that I can still read and write. Writing is a gift that keeps giving, despite any physical limitations one may have.
I’m looking forward to your presence “around my kitchen table” and for all we have to learn from one another.
Wishing you all a Happy and Prosperous 2018!
***
How about you? What has your greatest lesson been from 2017? What are your intentions for 2018?
I’d love to hear from you. Please join in the conversation below~
Next Week:
Monday, 1/8/17:
Memoirist Paige L. Strickland will discuss her new book, After the Truth: A Memoir of Adopti0n and Identity
December 18, 2017
Christmas Blessings, 2017
Posted by Kathleen Pooler/@kathypooler
Christmas Blessings, 2017
I’m taking a short break over the holidays but want to extend my greetings for a blessed Christmas/Holiday season to you, however you celebrate it.
May you spend your days with the ones you love and never take one day for granted.
Our greatest gifts are our family and friends…
Photo Credit: dreamstimefree
Christmas Blessings from our family– Wayne, Kathy and the grands–to yours.
L-R: Ethan Wyatt (11), Kevin (13), Brendan (9), Emma Grace (2.5), Ethan Thomas (10), Wayne, Kathy
L-R Top level: Carter (12), Jacob (12), Adam (15)
I’ll be back Monday, January 1, 2018 with: “Reflections on 2017, Intentions for 2018″
December 2017 Newsletter: Updates, Memoir Musings , Max Moments:
“Season of Hope”
If you are interested in receiving this monthly newsletter in your inbox, please sign up in the right sidebar. I’d love to have you along!
December 11, 2017
When to Call Yourself a Writer by Memoirist Linda Strader
Posted by Kathleen Pooler/@kathypooler with Linda Strader
“You are what you believe yourself to be.”~ Paulo Coelho
I am pleased to feature memoirist Linda Strader in this guest post about writing. Linda is the author of Summers of Fire: A Memoir of Adventure, Love and Courage due to be published on May 1, 2018 by Bedazzled Ink Press.
In addition to being an author, Linda is a landscape architect, an avid gardener, a watercolor artist and one of the first women firefighters for the U.S. Forest Service and Bureau of Land Management in the 70s Her story has great relevance given the current devastating fires in California.
Welcome, Linda!
Memoirist Linda Strader
When to Call Yourself a Writer
What new writer hasn’t struggled with when to say they are a writer? Do you have to wait until you are published? What if the only thing you’ve ever published is a technical report? Is that not being a writer? If you don’t have a degree in writing, does that mean you can’t refer to yourself as a writer? How about if you get paid?
This question wasn’t even on my radar most of my life—until I lost my job when the economy collapsed. In between job searches, I thought to see if I could make a few bucks writing articles online. It’s embarrassing to admit how little I was paid, but I had no problem telling people I wrote to make money. It was true, even though I made less than a penny per word. Not for one moment did it occur to me to say, “I’m a writer”—possibly because I figured I wasn’t making a living at it.
Then I started writing a book.
I finished the book, and started querying for a literary agent. Did that make me a writer?
During the querying process, I began to work on my “platform”—getting my name out in the world as someone who could write halfway decently. If and when I actually succeeded in publishing my book, hopefully people would say, “Oh yeah, I remember her, she wrote on blah, blah, blah.” I created a blog, and offered to write posts for other author’s blogs. I still didn’t think much about being called a writer; I just assumed that I was.
One day an acquaintance posted a link on social media to my book’s blog saying, “Linda isn’t a real writer, she doesn’t have a degree or anything, but she wrote a book!”
Wait. What? I took serious offense to this. Of course I was a writer, I wrote a book!
I brought this up in my writers group the next week, which generated much support on my behalf—this person just didn’t understand that even many published authors didn’t hold degrees in writing.
A while later, someone in a Facebook writers groups posted: “You can’t call yourself a writer until you publish.”
That comment generated a pretty heated discussion. What does that mean? If you write short stories, novels, essays, articles, poetry, whatever, that if you aren’t formally published somewhere, you aren’t a writer?
I think this is nonsense, and I know I’m not alone.
A writer is someone who writes. It doesn’t matter what some people deem worthy of the title (degrees, certifications and the like.) It doesn’t matter if you’ve published a book. What makes you a writer is the joy you find in stringing words together to make the perfect sentence that expresses how you feel, think, or see the world. It’s the joy in sharing what you wrote. It’s even the satisfaction of writing reports that exhibit good writing skills, sharing what you know, what you’ve learned.
Are you struggling to call yourself a writer? Stop! Say it out loud: “I am a writer.” And believe it. Do not let anyone tell you otherwise.
***
About The Book:
Summers of Fire, A Memoir of Adventure, Love and Courage, told with honest emotion and snappy dialog, goes beyond battling fires and discrimination—it is a vibrant story of unwavering perseverance.
Now available for preorder on Amazon
About the Author:
Originally from Syracuse, New York, I moved to Prescott, Arizona in 1972. After graduating from high school, I found jobs in Prescott were scarce to none. Through a friend’s connection, I began a Forest Service career as a fire timekeeper for the Catalina Hot Shots. Fascinated by their line of work, I made the decision in 1976 to become a firefighter.
Over the next seven years, I worked for the U.S. Forest Service in Arizona and the Bureau of Land Management in Alaska and Colorado. My beloved career ended abruptly in 1982.
Forced into a major life change, I made a decision to attend college. In 1990 I graduated from the University of Arizona with a Bachelor of Landscape Architecture. I returned to the U of A for a Masters Degree in planning, graduating in 1994. In 2001 I became a Registered Landscape Architect. In 2004 I became a Certified Arborist.
Since 2009 I’ve produced over a thousand articles about desert gardening, plants and design. I also write about my beloved Santa Rita Mountains, a short distance from my home.
Author Contact Information:
Arizona Gardener, a gardening and landscaping blog
Linda’s Watercolor Gallery
Facebook: Linda Strader
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Thank you, Linda for addressing a topic we lovers of the written word often grapple with. I remember the moment I accepted that I could call myself a writer. It was exhilarating and terrifying at the same time. What a revelation and relief that I could call myself a writer because I wrote!
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How about you? Do you struggle to call yourself a writer? What do you think qualifies you to earn the title of writer?
We’d love to hear from you. Please join in the conversation below~
***
Announcement: Congratulations to Nancy Julien Kopp whose name was selected in a random drawing to receive a copy of my memoir, Ever Faithful to His Lead: My Journey Away From Emotional Abuse.
Next Week:
I will be taking a blog break over the holidays and will return on Monday, 1/1/18 with “Reflections on 2017, Intentions for 2018”
Monday, 12/18/17:
“Christmas Blessings, 2017
December 2017 Newsletter, Updates, Memoir Musings, Max Moments
“A Season of Hope”
If you are interested in receiving this monthly newsletter in your inbox, please sign up in the right side bar. I’d love to have you along
***
In case you missed it, I’d love your feedback on this annual survey (and thanks to all who already completed it):
MEMOIR WRITER’S JOURNEY ANNUAL SURVEY, 2017
It’s that time of year when we start looking back at what worked and what needs work. I’d love your feedback on ways I can improve my website in 2018. Your feedback will be greatly appreciated and will be used to plan for 2018. I will report on the results on January 5,2018.
Here’s the link to the survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YYG3LDM
Thank you!
December 4, 2017
Why I Keep Blogging After Eight Years: My 8th Blogiversary
Posted by Kathleen Pooler/@kathypooler
Photo Credit: Brainy Quotes
Why I started blogging…
It’s my eight blogiversary. 516 posts later and I am celebrating!
In December, 2009 while new to the writing scene, I was told I needed to establish an on-line presence. That was back before I didn’t know what the heck an author platform and social media had to do with being a writer.
Photo Credit: social entrepreneurs.com
Despite my reservations to get involved, I took a flying leap of faith one day and started a free Word Press blog, Write On: Random Thoughts on Writing and Life by a New Writer.
Here’s my first post: “New Beginnings”
Well, that was relatively simple except when I thought about doing it every week. How will I ever come up with ideas to blog about every week?
But then, something happened…I got hooked.
What I anticipated would be a major distraction from my writing time became my lifeblood of creativity. I started meeting people from all over the world and the conversations generated served as inspiration for more writing ideas. And, perhaps best of all, I was having fun.
So much fun that I am still blogging weekly and have consistently over the past eight years with the exception of a Lenten Sabbatical I took in 2015. In 2011, I changed the name to Memoir Writer’s Journey: Sharing Hope One Story at a Time and in 2014 I upgraded to a Word Press.org self-hosted website to coincide with the publication of my first memoir.
Here’s Why I Keep Blogging:
Photo credit: JohnWiskind.com
*Blogging weekly provides me the opportunity to develop focus and discipline in my writing life. This further extends into writing outside my blog. It helps me keep the words flowing.
*Connecting with other writers and readers on a consistent basis serves as a source of both inspiration and writing ideas.
*Comments by followers have stretched and nourished me. I have been challenged to think deeper and wider about my own beliefs.
*Writing can be a lonely endeavor. The connections forged through blogging and the conversations that ensue have added a rich dimension to my life. This applies to commenting on other blogs as well. Being a part of a writing community where we accompany and support each other goes a long way in keeping me motivated and writing.
*Getting feedback on my writing has helped me to find my voice as a writer.
*Blogging helps me become a better writer.
*Blogging helps find readers. My blog is a showcase of my work and who I am as a person as well as a writer.
* I am having fun! If it stops being fun, I will stop. A blog is an extension of who as a person a I am as a person and a wrtier and it will show if I don’t want to do it anymore.
A few more thoughts…
Blogging is not for everyone. There are many other ways to establish an effective author platform, to reach your target audience and share your brand—Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest. It depends on what works best for you and what your plan is for reaching readers.
And there is an online debate circulating about the usefulness of blogging. In “Is Blogging Good Use of Your Writing Time?’ Author Debbie Young explores this issue with several authors.
This quote stands out for me:
“Karl Drinkwater: “Is it worth authors blogging any more, now that the blogosphere is so saturated? No-one ever stopped talking just because there are lots of things being said in the world.You could say the same about writing books…”
Photo Credit: Free Google Image
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How about you? As writers, do you feel blogging is worth your time? As readers, do blogs of authors have value to you? Do you want to start a blog but are not sure? If so, what keeps you from doing it?
In honor of my eighth blogiversary, I am offering a free eBook download or paperback (US only) of my memoir, Ever Faithful to His Lead: My Journey Away From Emotional Abuse to a commenter whose name will be selected in a random drawing.
I’d love to hear from you. Please join in the conversation below~
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MEMOIR WRITER’S JOURNEY ANNUAL SURVEY, 2017:
It’s that time of year when we start looking back at what worked and what needs work. I’d love your feedback on ways I can improve my website in 2018. Your feedback will be greatly appreciated and will be used to plan for 2018. I will report on the results on January 5,2018.
Here’s the link to the survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YYG3LDM
Thank you!
***
Next Week:
Monday, 12/11/17:
“When to Call Yourself a Writer by Memoirist Linda Strader”
Linda is the author of Summers of Fire: A Memoir of Adventure, Love and Courage, due to be published in May, 2018.
November 27, 2017
The Story Behind My Memoir, Getting Rid of Ian with Penelope James
Posted by Kathleen Pooler/@kathypooler with Penelope James/@Penelopemuses
“Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn’t.”~ Mark Twain
When I read Pennie James’ memoir, I felt like I was swept up in a suspenseful movie. Pennie and I met online several years ago and she continues to inspire me with her resilience and courage through some harrowing life struggles. I wanted to hear more about the story behind her memoir and she graciously agreed to be my guest.
My reviews of Getting Rid of Ian: A Memoir of Poison, Pills and Mortal Sins can be found on: Amazon, Goodreads, LibraryThing and Rifflebooks
Welcome, Pennie!
Author Penelope/Pennie James
The Story Behind My Memoir, Getting Rid of Ian
My Beginnings…
My parents, a British naval commander in his forties and my mother, an American-Mexican socialite in her mid-twenties, met at a cocktail party on board the HMS Penelope, in New York City for repairs, during WWII. Despite age and cultural differences, this unlikely pair was married three weeks later.
I was born on the English south coast during a bombing raid. My seaside village was a perfect place for an imaginative, adventurous child. But after ten years in post-war England, my mother took me and my sister to Mexico City where her family lived, and to an opposite cultural environment from the one we had known. We grew up and went to school there, in a highly religious, socially conscious society.
Enter the Villian..
Our lives were overshadowed by our stepfather, Henry Murray Campbell, a colonel, a hero, a spy, much decorated by the British government, crazy, probably riddled with PTSD, a pill popper who tried suicide several times, and who enjoyed tormenting us. The years with him are documented in the memoir “Getting rid of Ian.”
My Worldwide Travels…
At 16, I convinced myself that I was in love with a handsome, fast talking American, ten years my senior, and was married in Milwaukee, when I was 17. A marriage that lasted 6 weeks, but 6 years on paper.
My 28-year advertising career began in the “Mad Men” era in New York City and continued when I went “home” to England, became part of the London swinging scene, and worked my way up to a junior executive position in a major advertising agency. It was a big accomplishment at a time, the sixties, when few women held what was deemed a man’s position. I also worked as PR for an independent British airline which meant trips all over Europe and North Africa.
I had a baby and decided it would be easier for me to bring him up in Mexico. I returned and obtained a good position in one of Mexico’s leading ad agencies, Foote, Cone and Belding. There, I met my future husband and on the spur of the moment, was married on the beach in Acapulco. We had another child, divorced after seven years, and I carried on as both a single mother and a VP of an international advertising agency in Mexico City. Hard work and hard living were my style. Then it was over, my career at an end, followed by loss of income, home, possessions, and a drastic change in lifestyle.
Making a New Start in America…
In my mid-fifties, I moved to the U.S. to make a new start. I found it in, of all places, a San Diego phone room. A job at the lower end of the pay scale proved to be a first step to a twelve- year career in Hispanic qualitative research (well-paid).
Currently, I spend my time writing, editing, and promoting my books, the first of which Getting Rid of Ian came out in 2016. Unfortunately, two weeks later, I suffered a stroke, which has slowed down my efforts to promote it. At present, I am editing two finished books, Don’t Hang Up! On the Border of a New Start (a memoir) and Coronada or The Nun in the Flowered Crown (historical fiction) and hope to publish in 2018. I also have the follow-up to the latter halfway finished and two novellas, one about my mother who had a plane crash in Puebla, Mexico with Peter Ramsey and Daniel Roosevelt (the President’s nephew) in 1939 and the other half-fiction, half-truth about the ETA-The Revolutionary Basque Movement.
As any reader will realize, writing has been a goal of mine since I was twelve years old and finished writing my first full-length book. I wrote two more full-length novels between 14 and 16 and was a member of The Mexican Writer’s Center.
Each of my three countries has influenced my writing and contributed an important legacy. England gave me its language, its drama, its eccentricity, and adventurous spirit. Mexico gave me its creative culture—one of sentiment, tradition, and strong visuals. The U.S. gave me the challenge, opportunity, writing skills, and determination to reach my goals.
GETTING RID OF IAN: Poison, Pills, and Mortal Sins Synopsis:
“It would not be a mortal sin,” and Aunt Carlota chews her words to make them sound important, “if someone mur-der-ed that man.”
From postwar England to 1950s Mexico City, an exuberant memoir about adult misconduct, craziness, and how two young girls turn the tables on their crazy stepfather.
Pennie, the knowing child. Dreams up schemes to do away with Ian using homemade poison, pills, witchcraft, and voodoo.
Anne, younger sister. Hates Ian, and will do whatever it takes to get rid of him.
Mummy. Beautiful, desperate, plane crash survivor. Defies the Catholic Church, her family and society to marry Ian.
Daddy. Retired Royal Navy Commander, turned inventor of “things.”
Ian. Pill-popping stepfather, war hero, household tyrant, losing his marbles.
“Once the idea is in my head to get rid of Ian, it sticks there. The thought follows me around, reminding me we can do it and get away with it.”
“I don’t know why Grown Ups have to decide what’s best for us. They’re not always right and we’re at their mercy. It’s very hard being a child.”
In Getting Rid of Ian, a dark humor memoir, two little English girls move to Mexico City where they plot to do away with their crazy stepfather.
Mummy is American and has a loud voice. She’s half-Mexican so she loses her temper a lot. Daddy was in both World Wars and he’s a Commander, RN retd. He thinks a lot and invents “things.”
When Daddy’s inventions fall through, Mummy takes us to live in Mexico City. She marries Ian who goes crazy and takes a lot of pills.
About the Author:
The narrator, Penny/Pennie, a knowing child, lives with sister Anne, flamboyant Mexican-American Mummy/Tita and retired Royal Navy Commander Daddy in an English seaside village. Tita, a plane crash survivor, feels she has lost out in life. Daddy is an inventor, but his inventions fail to catch on and money runs out. Tita takes the girls to live in Mexico City where Ian, a married man, falls in love with her. She divorces Daddy and marries Ian in a civil ceremony, thus scandalizing and alienating her from family, society and the Catholic Church.
After marrying Tita, Ian is no longer the jovial uncle he had appeared to be. Unbalanced and irascible, this former spymaster exerts a hypnotic control over Tita. He terrorizes the girls, makes life unbearable for them, and his addiction to sedatives sends him over the edge.
Motivated by a great-aunt and a family friend, the girls plan to do away with Ian using witchcraft, homemade poison, drugs, and voodoo. With mixed results. Ian suffers a coronary thrombosis; he overdoses; a car runs over him. His drug addiction turns him into “the Zombie.” The Zombie/Ian creates havoc, and the girls and Mummy live in fear of his destructive actions. As the Zombie’s actions escalate, the girls are forced to make some drastic decisions that affect the rest of their lives.
Author Contact Information:
Twitter: @Penelopemuses
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Thank you, Pennie for giving us a glimpse into your background and for filling us in on the backstory of your fascinating memoir, Getting Rid of Ian. It reminds me of the saying, “sometimes truth is stranger than fiction”. Your resilience in the face of so many challenges, both past and present, is truly remarkable and inspirational.
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How about you? Would your life story be “stranger than fiction”? Would it make a good movie? Do you have any questions for Pennie?
We’d love to hear from you. Please join in the conversation below~
***
This Week:
Monday, 11/27/17:
November 2017 Newsletter: Monthly Updates, Memoir Musings, Max Moments:
“The Season of Gratitude”
If you’d like to receive these monthly newsletters in your inbox, please sign up in the right side bar. I’d love to have you along!
Next Week:
Monday, 12/4/17:
” My 8th Blogaversary”
November 23, 2017
Shame: How Culture and Religion Are Internalized by Memoirist Leona Stucky: A WOW Blog Tour
Posted by Kathleen Pooler/@kathypooler with Dr.Leona Stucky
Welcome to Dr. Leona Stucky’s WOW Blog Tour for her new memoir, Fog of Faith: Surviving My Impotent God.
Memoirist Dr. Leona Stucky
The Book:
Leona is cast into bewildering disgrace and poverty—with a baby, a violent husband, and shattered faith. She hacks through the bones of her Mennonite naïveté to confront harsh realities. This riveting and morally unflinching memoir, recommended by MS Magazine, delivers intense suspense, humor and unusual wisdom.
Paperback: 340 pages
Genre: Memoir
Publisher: Prairie World Press (May 25, 2017)
ISBN-10: 099864742X
ISBN-13: 978-0998647425
The Fog of Faith is available in ebook and in print at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and IndieBound.
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Shame: How Culture and Religion Are Internalized
Shame is a powerful emotional force. We are all familiar with shame, yet it often goes unnoticed, unexplored, unchallenged, even by experts.
In this blog we will explore the way culture and religion utilize shame to assist humans to become conscious social beings.
Shame invades our internal being. I’m probably writing about it because it invaded me and forever changed my life, as my memoir, The Fog of Faith: Surviving My Impotent God, illustrates.
Perhaps shame builds upon Darwin’s evolution, often in insidious ways. We may be hard wired for it. Parents instill it in their young.
How did shame become a precision power tool to connect internal and external worlds?
It emerged as a consequence of the dynamic relationship between babies and their caregivers. It developed within the internalized representational world of infants as they processed security and rejection from significant loved ones.
Explanation of our Childhood Experiences Related to Shame
As babies, we needed connection to survive. We would die within days without caregivers to assume responsibility for us. We humans are the most dependent creatures on earth.
Thus we attune to the big beings around us. We need physical and emotional closeness. When not in a pleasant position with big beings, we feel insecure, fearful, and bad. Shame is learned as a defense against doing those things that will break the tie that binds. We incorporate the anticipated rejected/bad feeling by shaming ourselves and thus gaining some control over those actions that might evoke shame. Our internal awareness of external judgment builds our capacity to feel ashamed.
As babies, big beings shame us most when we endanger ourselves or others. Thus we associate shame with fear of major consequences and fear of losing the affection of big beings.
By age 2 ½ we become aware that the biggest being of all is called God and God has special rules, offers guidance, love and acceptance that must be attained to enhance our security and magical powers.
We generalize our relationship with big intimate beings to older wiser beings/Beings with authority over us. Then shame can be projected and introjected as a way to avoid negative consequences from groups of big beings associated with culture and religion.
Adult Uses of Shame
In the early years of human evolution, as well as today, survival meant working intimately with others – both in cooperation and competition. Shame laid the groundwork for knowing ourselves and others, allowing us to synchronize our goals for work or play, and to guess the other’s motives and anticipate their actions. In this way, Shame makes sociality functional.
Oh that horrible feeling – head low, eyes cast downward, a quiet plea for the earth to swallow us whole.
Once we have experienced a heavy dose of shame, we are likely to glom onto it and it onto us, similarly to how touching a hot stove stays with us. Shame, however, often poisons our self-assessment with others’ negativity. It makes us hesitant to be seen, to speak up, to defend ourselves, to consider ourselves worthy or valuable.
To incapacitate a group of people, culture, often in the robes of religion, showers shame upon them.
When we are not conscious of shame, it still shapes our behavior. We learn manners. We avoid acts that would embarrass us. We thwart shame with the clothes we buy, with diets and exercises, the house we live in, the church we attend. At its most basic level, Viagra resists shame. Mirrors in homes and public restrooms are shame information tools. Capitalism caters to shame avoidance when small town gas stations sell alcohol from drive-up windows.
Shame operates as a coordinating energy between our internal and external worlds. It is the forerunner and often the foundation of our sense of decency and morality.
Shame can shoot in or rise up to help us control our impulses. With shame we sometimes delay responses and employ our more rational executive functions. It can sometimes stop us from being cruel, harmful, arrogant, or rude. We would not want to be “That man who has no shame!” Or, “That woman who is shameless!” When we shame others, we warn ourselves.
People and politicians battle over who gets to say what is shameful. Class distinctions are shame embedded.
Religious Shame Considerations
In the past, when culture needed help to effectively shame an individual or group, religion played an oversized role. Not that religion is any more uniform than politics. But religion offers an unassailable higher Authority. Conservative branches of Abrahamic religions believe in a Divine Entity who is better, more powerful, wiser, and who must be obeyed or else! This Divine Authority says what is right and shames the rest. Think divine rights of kings while shaming the serfs who had little claim to rights, honor masculinity as more God-like, rational, and active while shaming femininity as more childlike, emotional, and passive. Today it’s honoring heterosexual relations while shaming the LGBTQ community.
While religion tends to maintain traditions longer than culture, it also is more agile than culture. It can absolve shame as well as ascribe it. Forgiveness of sins, or wiping the shame slate clean is religion’s domain, as is enveloping the sinner with grace, creating a bond between that lonely heart and the Divine, providing love and guidance and an ultimate reward. Religion has much to offer anyone who feels vulnerable to shame. Once under the protection of Authority, believers breathe easier, watching religion direct shame mostly toward those on the outside.
When shame must be directed toward someone on the inside, some religious groups shame and forgive in a single beat.
That’s how it was for me that day at Hopefield Mennonite Church. But as a teenager, shame felt real and forgiveness a distant illusion.
I was jealous of Ron, who felt little shame. What had he done? Sown a wild oat? Last night when we practiced the ritual words of confession with Rev. Schmidt, I noticed nothing in the litany that would indicate my guilt more than Ron’s. Yet I knew that I was the responsible party, the one who should be ashamed.
In front of the congregation, Rev. Schmidt fed us the confession line by line. We repeated each one. We acknowledged that we were sinful, that we allowed passion to mar our judgment, that we failed our commitment to follow God’s way. We said we were weak and unworthy, we were bringing an innocent child into a tainted situation, and we were sorry for our deeds. We acknowledged we had no right to mercy except that we knew God was merciful, and we would count on His Son, who died to save us from our sins.
I was so nervous attempting to repeat the lines that their meaning barely registered. I was saying I had sinned. I knew on a scale of one to ten where my sin landed. I was announcing pregnancy before marriage. Thus I had committed the worst sin a young woman could commit, except murder.
I smelled the acrid fear on my body, a smell to which I was accustomed. But why fear now? . . . These kind and compassionate Mennonites were at this moment reciting lines of forgiveness, promising to hold us in their circle of love, inviting us back into the fold of committed souls who walked the path Jesus took, the narrow and disciplined path of salvation. . . .
After forgiveness was granted, I smiled a thin, defiant half-moon. Under my breath I dared them to talk about me over Sunday dinner. I guessed some people were sad for me. Some might have felt compassion for my family, burdened by shame. In my whirling sensation of unleashed sinfulness, I thought I was foremost on the congregation’s mind. Perhaps, as Dad said, they were worried about their own problems,. . . But I couldn’t escape my own harsh inward gaze; I couldn’t imagine escaping theirs. . . .
After the service, I bowed out quickly. I went home to hate myself,. . .
The Fog of Faith: Surviving My Impotent God
Though I was angry, I did the only thing I knew how to do. I bowed to the Authority of my Mennonite beliefs, and quietly increased the injury to myself.
About the Author:
The Reverend Doctor Leona Stucky, the author of The Fog of Faith, resides in Santa Fe, New Mexico. When not working, she enjoys New Mexico landscapes, walking and driving in the open expanse, and exploring nature here and around the world with friends and family. Being a grandmother is one of the highlights of her life; she adores playing with the little ones and watching their relational capacities unfold. She revels in their joy and treasures moments together as they grow.
Dr. Stucky first received a degree in psychology and philosophy from Boston College, graduating summa cum laude, before plunging into seminary, first at Andover Newton Theological School and then at Eden Theological Seminary. She earned a doctorate from Southern Methodist University with honors, and a Diplomate certificate from the American Association of Pastoral Counselors—their highest credential—for teaching, supervising, and offering therapy services. She currently has standing as a Unitarian Universalist community minister.
Website: www.TheFogofFaith.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/leonastucky/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/leonastucky/
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Next Week:
Monday, 11/27/17:
“Author Spotlight with Memoirist Penelope James: The Story Behind The Story of Getting Rid of Ian”
November 2017 Newsletter: Monthly Updates, Memoir Musings and Max Moments
“The Season of Gratitude”
If you are interested in receiving this monthly newsletter in you inbox, please sign up in teh right side bar. I’d love to have you along!
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