Kathleen Pooler's Blog, page 18
May 28, 2018
Never Too Late by Memoir Author Irene Allison
Posted by Kathleen Pooler/@kathypooler with Irene Allison
I’m thrilled to have memoir author Irene Allison as my guest today. Irene and I met online at the 2017 Brain to Book Cyber Convention where we participated in several memoir panel discussions. As a retired family nurse practitioner, I spent my forty-four year career navigating a health care system that often times felt insensitive to the needs of patients and their families. I have also been on the other side as a cancer patient and have experienced the difference between compassionate and insensitive care so I read Stay, Breathe with Me with great interest.
My reviews can be found on Amazon, Goodreads, LibraryThings and RiffleBooks.
Welcome, Irene!
Memoir Author Irene Allison
Never Too Late
If you have a story worth telling, take heart: it’s never too late to share it. No matter your age, your health, or circumstance, your story needs to be told.
But just how far would you go to tell yours?
Perhaps an anecdote about my co-author, and late mother, Helen Allison, proves that it’s never too late. Here’s what she did.
I knew it was a bad sign the day my mother told me by phone that she had “dressed in disguise” to visit the doctor. Huge, bug-like sunglasses covered most of her face, a Harris Tweed hat slid low on her forehead, and an ample wool coat hid her painfully swollen legs. All the doctor could see was the thin nose, pale lips, and withered hands of a woman nearing ninety. Apparently that was enough. He scribbled a prescription and sent her on her way.
I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.
My mother’s rebellious black humor had always inspired me. I knew she was resisting hospitalization. But that doctor? He didn’t know. In the brisk five minutes of their visit, he had analyzed her symptoms but saw nothing of the person sitting in front of him. No doubt he was in a hurry. And she, after all, was “just an old woman”.
Old or not, my mother was blessed with a firecracker mind, an indomitable spirit, and an insider’s knowledge of the medical world. That very same knowledge was the reason she was determined to avoid becoming a “patient”. She knew the hospital would assign her a gown, a number. Tell her to obey orders. And that would imprison her in the very system that she had tried so hard to change.
Instead, she chose to nurse herself at home for as long as she possibly could.
Reluctantly, I agreed.
Crazy? Yes.
But then again, maybe not.
As a nurse, medical social worker, and pioneer in palliative care, my mother was dedicated to easing the suffering of others by welcoming their wisdom. “Patients are injured storytellers”, she always told me. “Their stories are crucial. And we need to listen.”
Blessed with healing hands and a caregiving heart, my mother had fought tirelessly to revive the art of care. A warrior-healer, she never resisted battle for the sake of a patient because she knew first-hand how patient suffering increases when doctors refuse to listen, when doctors treat the symptoms but not the person.
Now she herself was ill.
For countless months, she had ignored the flutter in her chest and the fatigue of sleepless nights as she cared at home for her dying husband. It was the heroic effort of an old nurse. But it was all too much and her heart began to give way.
Still she soldiered on. She had important things to do, like writing a book from her life’s experience to show how listening to the stories of patients lies at the very heart of compassionate care.
“This gives me hope,” she told me of our collaborative project.
And like all warrior-healers she pressed on.
Until a bad fall changed everything.
Back to the hospital, now prisoner to a failing body, she hovered in that perilous haze of decline. Yet her spirit remained on fire.
As I walked through the noisy chaos of the hospital ward to my mother’s room, I was stunned to spot a group of nurses clustered around a computer watching the trailer for the book my mother and I had written.
“What’s happening, Mom?” I asked as I squeezed alongside her bed.
There was a glint in her eye, a breathy rasp to her whisper, “I’m selling our book”.
“What?” A crazy, bittersweet laugh caught at the back of my throat. “Are you serious?”
My mother was dying.
And she was selling our book!
But it wasn’t about selling. It was about sharing her story. She would gladly have given the books away to any of the nurses, doctors, or aids willing to listen to the need for compassionate, patient-centered care. This had been the gift of her life, her gift to share. And she would never give up trying to share it. Right to the very end, she was a warrior-healer with a story to tell.
Photo Credit: Free Stock Image
***
Thank you Irene for sharing your mother’s “warrior-spirit” with us. She was a pioneer in the field of palliative care medicine and we owe her a debt of gratitude for helping spearhead the palliative care movement.
***
Synopsis of Stay,Breathe with Me:
A Palliative Care Book of the Month: IAHPC (International Association for Hospice and Palliative Care)
From a medical insider comes a plea to renew medicine’s mandate to relieve suffering. The philosophy and practice of palliative care shows how this is possible by easing pain, by embracing the human side of illness, by inviting patients to be full participants in their care, and by incorporating the wisdom of these injured storytellers to guide healing hands. Informed by the voices of the seriously ill, their families, and the lifelong experience of a palliative care nurse and medical social worker, Stay, Breathe with Me, illuminates the power of the art of care and the need to bring heart and compassion back into health care. Written for both medical professionals and general readers alike.
About the Author:
Irene Allison co-authored with her late mother, Helen Allison, the book, Stay, Breathe with Me: The Gift of Compassionate Medicine, about the human side of illness, the wisdom of patients, and the gentle healing nature of compassionate care. The International Association for Hospice and Palliative Care (IAHPC) named it a “Book of the Month” praising its “pearls of clinical wisdom on just about every page”. Come visit our web site, book trailer, or Facebook.
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How about you? Do you have a story you’re burning to share? And how far would you go?
We’d love to hear from you. Please join in the conversation below~
***
This Week:
May 2018 Newsletter: Updates, Memoir Musings and Max Moments
“The Lessons of Springtime”
If you are interested in receiving these monthly newsletters in your inbox, please sign up in the right side bar. I’d love to have you along!
Next Week:
Monday, June 4, 2018:
“How Reading Fiction is Helping Me Write My Memoir”
Thursday, June 7, 2018
“Writing Authentically About Difficult or Painful Topics by Wendy Brown-Baez: A WOW Blog Tour.”
Wendy is the author of Catch A Dream, the fictional story of a woman’s healing journey from her homeland in war-torn Palestine to Israel.
May 24, 2018
The Mother-Daughter Relationship: A WOW Blog Tour with Joanell Serra
Posted by Kathleen Pooler/@kathypooler with Joanell Serra
Photo Credit: JoyofMom.com
Welcome to Joanell Serra’s WOW Blog Tour for her debut novel, The Vines We Planted, a story of a family facing many struggles. She will explore the complexities of mother-daughter relationships in this guest post.
Welcome, Joanell!
Author Joanell Serra
The Mother-Daughter Relationship
The connection from mother to daughter can as tentative as a gossamer thread, almost difficult to see in a certain light, or as heavy as a suffocating blanket. But ideally, by the time our daughters are grown, it is more of a lifeline between two women. When either one is sinking, the other can pull them to shore. I’m a biological and adoptive mother, a guardian, a daughter, a therapist and a writer. I’ve seen the many shades this relationship can take. It isn’t always pretty, in fact sometimes it’s a brutal wound that needs healing. I’ve spent years working with mid-life clients, as they finally face unresolved issues with their own mother (Usually successfully, I have to add. You can heal this wound years after your mother has passed.) But whether the relationship is an anchor, a weight, or the wind under her wings, it is always central to a women’s self-concept.
In my novel, The Vines We Planted, a young woman, Amanda Scanlon, struggles with her relationship with her adoptive mother as she also pursues information about her birth mother. When her adoptive mother, Elena, goes through a crisis, their roles are reversed. Amanda, almost thirty, is used to Elena keeping the family on track. Now Amanda becomes her mother’s caregiver. Most women will face this eventually, but in Amanda’s case it happens suddenly and in shocking circumstances. In the course of the novel, she must resolve the residual anger and sadness between them, and complete her steps into “adulthood.
Amanda discovers what so many of us know – that Mothers and daughters, biological or otherwise, often know each other better than anyone else in the world. When my own mother was alive, she knew my mood before I came all the way through the door, whether it was by the set of my shoulders, or the frown I thought I was hiding. And then it became my job, as a mother, to do the same. I’d watch my daughter exit from the high school and cross the street to my car and could start to guess about her day before she got in the car: her poem was well received, and the test had been easier than she’d expected. Or, the boy was still being a jerk, and she’d been criticized by a friend.
A few years later, my daughter is now a young adult. Few can read me like she does. We share a passion for books, writing, good food, long walks, beach days and campfires. All interests passed down to me from my own mother. There are habits, hopes, passions and possibilities that are passed from mother to daughter, generation after generation. The things are not necessarily passed through genetics, but almost through psychic sharing. Mothers and daughters share the energy in the room.
Because every daughter needs to individuate and claim her own space in the room, every mother will have her heart broken along the way. And because every mother is human, every daughter will lick her wounds from time to time. But the relationship can eventually become a friendship of two women, facing the world from their different points on life’s path, throwing out the life line when needed, and pulling each other along.
***
Paperback: 285
Publisher: WiDO Publishing
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1947966022
ISBN-13: 978-1947966024
Amazon Link: https://www.amazon.com/Vines-We-Planted-Joanell-Serra/dp/1947966022/?tag=wowwomenonwri-20
WiDo Link: http://widopublishing.com/the-vines-we-planted-by-joanell-serra/
Synopsis:
In the heart of the California wine country, secrets seem to grow on the vines that Uriel Macon’s family have tended for generations.
Uriel, the winery’s young widower, steers clear of complicated relationships. He prefers the lonely comfort of his vineyard and his horses, until he is reminded of his love affair with Amanda Scanlon; a relationship that ended when she abruptly left the country years ago under a cloud of mystery.
When Amanda returns to Sonoma because of a family crisis, she tries to mend the broken relationships she left behind. In addition, she seeks the truth about her parents’ complicated history and her own parentage.
But Amanda’s unveiling of the past has devastating consequences. In the midst of California’s beautiful Sonoma Valley, the Scanlon family struggles to overcome harsh realities with dignity and grace.
Both Amanda and Uriel stretch to take care of their families, which are facing immigration issues, marital crises, and loss. While navigating these challenges, the couple must decide if they trust themselves to love again, or to finally let each other go.
A Sonoma local, author Joanell Serra’s debut novel is captivating, poignant, and uplifting, demonstrating how seeds planted long ago continue to grow. Sometimes into a strangling weed, sometimes offering a bountiful harvest.
” …the story of a family facing struggles…delicately and expertly woven together in a saga set in California around Uriel’s family vineyards, where each relationship appears to have a bearing on others… the plot is credible and surprising at the same time, and yet it all blends together well and combines to make an exciting and believable novel. The characters are so good that they could easily continue in a sequel. ” –Jane Finch for Readers’ Favorite
https://readersfavorite.com/book-review/the-vines-we-planted
About the Author:
Joanell Serra, MFT lives with her growing children, husband and dogs in the lovely Sonoma Valley. After years of publishing short stories, essays and plays, The Vines We Planted is her debut novel. She can be found polishing her second novel at a coffee shop, sipping a perfect Cabernet in a Sonoma winery or at her website: www.JoanellSerraAuthor.com.
Find Joanell Online:
http://joanellserraauthor.com/
https://www.facebook.com/Joanellserrauthor/
https://www.instagram.com/joanellserraauthor/
http://joanellserraauthor.com/author-blog/
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How about you? What are your thoughts on mother-daughter relationships? Do you have anything to add to Joanell’s assessment?
We’d love to hear from you. Please join in the conversation below~
***
WOW Blog Tour:
Monday, April 30th @ The Muffin
Author Interview & Giveaway
Tuesday, May 1st @ Word Nerd
Elizabeth at Word Nerd reviews “The Vines We Planted” by Joanell Serra and interviews this popular author about her latest work! https://www.wordnerdmedia.com/
Wednesday, May 2nd @ World of My Imagination
Nicole reviews Joanell Serra’s “The Vines We Planted” for readers at World of My Imagination. Don’t miss the opportunity to find out more about this fast paced novel! http://theworldofmyimagination.blogspot.com/
Thursday, May 3rd @ Phytallic
Don’t miss today’s review of “The Vines We Planted” by Joanell Serra. Readers at Phytallic will be delighted and intrigued!
https://phytallic.wordpress.com/
Friday, May 4th @ Write Happy
Catherine Brown shares her review of “The Vines We Planted” with readers at Write Happy. You won’t want to miss this opportunity to learn more about author Joanell Serra and her latest work!
Saturday, May 5th @ The Muffin
Crystal Otto reviews “The Vines We Planted” by Joanell Serra.
http://muffin.wow-womenonwriting.com/
Monday, May 7th @ Beverley Baird
Beverley Baird reviews Joanell Serra’s latest work “The Vines We Planted” and shares her thoughts with readers at Beverley A Baird. https://beverleyabaird.wordpress.com/
Tuesday, May 8th @ Lisa Haselton
Lisa Haselton interviews Joanell Serra about her writing and her latest novel “The Vines We Planted”. Don’t miss today’s informative and encouraging author interview! http://lisahaseltonsreviewsandinterviews.blogspot.com/
Wednesday, May 9th @ The Constant Story
Fellow author David Berner reviews “The Vines We Planted” by Joanell Serra. Readers at The Constant Story will delight in learning about this beautifully written novel published by Wido Publishing.http://davidwberner.blogspot.com/
Thursday, May 10th @ Coffee with Lacey
Readers at Coffee With Lacey learn more about the beautiful “The Vines We Planted” as Lacey reviews Joanell Serra’s latest novel.
http://www.coffeewithlacey.wordpress.com/
Monday, May 14th @ Choices
Joanell Serra is today’s guest blogger at Choices. Her article about Mental health is one you won’t want to miss. Learn about this and find out about Serra’s novel “The Vines We Planted”.
Thursday, May 24th @ Memoir Writer’s Journey
Joanell Serra pens today’s guest post with Kathleen Pooler – don’t miss Serra’s insight about mother/daughter relationships and find out more about her new book “The Vines We Planted”.
Friday, May 25th @ BookWorm
Anjanette Potter reviews Joanell Serra’s “The Vines We Planted” and shares her thoughts with readers at BookWorm!
https://bookworm66.wordpress.com/
Next Week:
Monday, 5/28/18:
“Never Too Late by Memoirist Irene Allison.”
Irene co-authored a book about palliative care, Stay, Breathe with Me:The Gift of Compassionate Medicine, with her mother Helen Allison who was the first hospice nurse in Canada.
May 2018 Newsletter- Updates, Memoir Musings and Max Moments.
If you are interested in receiving these monthly newsletters in your inbox, please sign up in the right sidebar. I’d love to have you along!
May 21, 2018
Splashing Around in the Word Pool: A Memoir Moment
Posted by Kathleen Pooler/@kathypooler
Splashing Around in the Word Pool: A Memoir Moment
When I saw the flyer about a poetry workshop at our local library, my first reaction was I’m not a poet. But, I love to read poetry and I admire my colleagues who are able to express their feelings so succinctly and powerfully through their poetry. It seems to me poetry is a way to distill the essence of an experience into a few words through vivid imagery, similes, metaphors…phrases of well-chosen words that capture a mood or emotion.
Since I am currently deeply immersed, knee-deep, in my memoir edits, I wondered if the workshop might help me break through some of my stalled scenes… I know the pain. I feel it deeply, but I asked myself “can I convey it on the page in a way that the reader will experience the feelings along with me? Maybe learning more about poetry will help me access some of these deeply emotional areas I am writing about much the same way journaling or listening to music does?”
Poetry says so much in so few words. I think of the rich imagery and depth of emotions and moods conveyed so succinctly in poems, such as this last stanza of “Stopping by the Woods on a Snowy Evening” by Robert Frost (1915).
“The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep.
And miles to go before I sleep
And miles to go before I sleep.
Can’t you see those woods, feel the chill and experience for yourself the fight to stay awake?
How can poetry help memoir writers?
Memoir writing is a journey of self-discovery that unfolds gradually, layer by layer each time I sit down to write. Sometimes finding the right words to convey the feelings is a challenge. I wanted to step out of my comfort zone and try a new way of finding the words.
Photo Credit: Pixabay Free Image
So I took the plunge and decided to participate in the three-week workshop “Splashing Around into the Word Pool: Diving into Poetry” presented by Judith Prest, a local poet and Soul Collage Facilitator. There were three other participants and we dove right into writing prompts and exercises then shared our work.
What fun!
Interesting, I usually have a difficult time with writing prompts. Initially, my mind goes blank and I struggle to get started but eventually the words begin to flow.
We worked from pages of word lists, quotes from poems, a “word bowl” of words written on small cards, and writing prompts.
Writing from a prompt and sketch…
For the first exercise, “Your Guest House”, we had to look at our “house”, select a prompt, sketch something then pick emotions that called out the loudest. Here’s where that took me:
Dad and Mom listening to Edward R. Murrow on the radio, circa, 1956
My Guest House, 1956
Glancing over my shoulder to the past (the prompt) , I see Dad and Mom sitting in the living room of our white bungalow listening to Edward R. Murrow on the radio. The house is silent as I open the back door. I’m coming in from my nightly play with the neighborhood kids where we giggle and squeal while trying to find the best hiding places –in the woods, behind the bushes, inside the Hackett’s shed. The air is brimming with excitement. We hear the crickets chiming in with their joyful banter. I am happy and free.
I stifle my laughter in my sleeve as Butch CeCe walks right past my hiding place. Butch who chases me with night crawlers and tries to throw them down my back. I have outsmarted him and I feel powerful in that moment. But then a shrill whistle pierces the air. Nick CeCe is beckoning his six children in from their play. And when Nick whistles, every CeCe kid jumps out from their hiding places and races to their sprawling white stucco home on the hill.
This leaves the Hackett twins and me adrift in the night with no choice but to go back to our homes. I am sad that the fun has ended and when I walk through our back door, the silence hits me. I feel lonely. The drone from the radio has captured my parents’ attention.
I stand in the doorway and see their still forms sitting quietly, absorbed and preoccupied. Dad puffs on his pipe and stares into space. Mom sits next to him in silent participation.
I want to run back outside and laugh again but instead, I turn my back on them and walk slowly to my bedroom.
***
Writing from “Found Poetry”…
As Judith explained, “found poetry is the rearrangement of words or phrases that are taken randomly from other sources (example: clipped newspaper headlines, handwritten cards, books). ”
I grabbed an obscure old book from 1957, Ariadne’s Thread: A Collection of Contemporary Women’s Journals which featured such notable women writers as May Sarton, Sylvia Plath and Gloria Steinem. Thumbing through the pages, I wrote down key phrases that resonated, then did this free write from a prompt, “Why I write”:
Why I Write
The story burns deep down inside…recurring strands of my life that won’t rest until I form the words and write them down.
But, am I really being honest with myself?
The words need to feel true…so I wrestle and fret as I attempt to reach that place where my personal–trials or triumphs–touch the universal until I find the rhythm to tap into the passion, to reflect, to explore, to expand the truths outside myself.
So I write everyday in solitude,and anguish, poring the words out until they dance on the page…
and reach out to touch another’s heart.
A Breakthrough…
We did several other exercises but the one that stands out for me is a prompt that led to a breakthrough in a chapter of my work-in-progress memoir that had me stymied. After doing a free write with the prompt, “The way he walked”…I found a way to access the deep emotions associated with seeing my son drunk for the first time and putting that experience into words.
Splashing in the word pool and and diving into poetry doesn’t make me a poet but it certainly has helped me find another way to the words that convey the experience I want to share.
A Few Select Resources…
Also while poetry is a distinct art form in itself, it can be used to write memoir. Here are few articles I found interesting about writing memoir as poetry:
“Poetry as Memoir Form” by Amber Lee Starfire.
“The Unreasoning Mask: The Shared Interior Architecture of Poetry and Memoir” by Jill Bialosky
“Writing Memoir in Narrative Poems” by Keven Bellows on Marion Roach Smith’s blog.
Another possibility is incorporating your poems into your narrative which my friend and writing colleague Madeline Sharples did with her powerful memoir, Leaving the Hall Light On: A Mother’s Memoir of Living With Her Son’s Bipolar Disorder and Surviving His Suicide.
The way I see it, poetry is another way into our stories.
Fellow poets L-R Maureen, Judith and Jaye
***
How about you? Has poetry helped you write your story? If so, how does it help?
I’d love to hear from you. Please join in the conversation below~
***
This Week:
Thursday, 5/24/18:
”The Mother-Daughter Relationship by Joanell Serra: A WOW Blog Tour”
Joanell is the author of The Vines We Planted, the story of a family facing struggles in a saga set in California around Uriel’s family vineyards, where each relationship appears to have a bearing on others.
Next Week:
Monday, 5/28/18:
“Never Too Late by Memoir Author Irene Allison”
Irene is the co-author along with her mother, the late Helen Allison, of Stay , Breathe with Me: The Gift of Compassionate Medicine, an insider’s view of palliative care medicine from the point of view of Helen who was the first hospice nurse in Canada.
May 2018 Newsletter: Updates, Memoir Musings and Max Moments.
If you are interested in receiving these monthly newsletters in your inbox, please sign up in the right side bar. I’d love to have you along!
May 14, 2018
Music is the Magic in Memoir Writing by Renee Hodges
Posted by Kathleen Pooler/@kathypooler with Renee Hodges/@R_HodgesAuthor
“Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent.” ― Victor Hugo
Photo Credit: Pixabay Free Image
I am very pleased to feature Renee Hodges and her new memoir, Saving Bobby: Heroes and Heroin in a Small Community, a gripping and heartrending story of survival. The scourge of opioid abuse that has gripped our nation makes her story an essential, timely read for those concerned about America’s most pressing epidemic. In this guest post, Renee will share how music helped her write her deeply emotional memoir.
My reviews of Saving Bobby can be found on Amazon, Goodreads, LibraryThings and Riffle Books.
Welcome, Renee!
Memoirist Renee Hodges
Music is the Magic in Memoir Writing
My nephew, Bobby, lived with me and my husband for sixteen months after leaving yet another in a long line of rehabilitation centers and half-way houses. Bobby became addicted to opioids/heroin prescribed by a doctor while in college and for the next seven years he had trouble staying substance-free. Saving Bobby is the story of how Bobby began thinking about saving himself when embraced by a loving community and his naïve aunt and uncle.
When Bobby asked me to write his story of recovery so “he would never forget where he came from,” I wasn’t sure how to begin. I didn’t have memoir writing experience, so I gathered emails, texts, and my journal entries from that time. Journaling was a way to check in with myself during the emotional sixteen months when Bobby was rehabilitating in our home. It became a lifeline; a way to pour out anxiety and doubt, to organize my thoughts and to help me go to sleep at night.
An epistolary of sorts, I used many emails and texts in Saving Bobby, but I found it difficult to write about events chronicled in my journal because they contained such emotional swings and intense situations. Many of the most difficult moments I had all but forgotten. I likened it to labor pains, pains I had with natural labor, pains that were so ripping that guttural screaming was the only answer … other than killing my husband. But after delivery was over I’d forget all about them. Until the next time.
But writing honestly about Bobby’s recovery and the shame, stigma and difficulties Bobby encountered while assimilating back into society meant I had to feel these moments to be able to put them down on paper. I found that music could bring me into the highs and lows of a chapter better than anything else.
Slow a capella could accompany me on a chapter about isolation. The Broadway tune “For Good” from the musical Wicked, was perfect for writing the chapter on reconciliation. Coldplay’s “Viva la Vida” was always a go to when I needed high energy and excitement, and “The Climb” by Miley Cyrus or “Scars To Your Beautiful” by Alessia Cara would help me through the lowest periods, the periods where I knew that if I gave up, so would Bobby.
And when I would write about addiction, Sia’s “Chandelier” had me hanging from the ceiling, making me feel the intense high and pull of drugs or drink and the devastating shame that always comes with the rising sun. “Landslide” by Fleetwood Mac was my favorite accompaniment for conflict, doubt and pain and I tear up when humming it. “Puff the Magic Dragon” helped me write about my husband because he used to sing this song to my children every night at bedtime.
With the help of these songs, I was able to tap into the emotions that had been recorded in my journal so many months earlier.
The pain, the uncertainty and the triumphs all came roaring back and I was able to get them down on paper once again.
Saving Bobby is more than a story of recovery. It is more than a story of community helping to lessen the shame and stigma of a recovering young man. It is an instrument of hope, a composition of glorious triumph, perseverance, and a Canto for changing the way we think about recovery. “Oh, What a Wonderful World. “
***
Thank you, Renee for sharing how listening to music helped you to tap into those deep emotions buried inside. By bringing these feelings to the surface and putting them on the page, we , your readers, can feel the angst, worry and terror of witnessing a loved one in the throes of addiction. When we’ve been in the the depths with you, we can rejoice in the hard-earned recovery that is achieved. You have broken the silence surrounding addiction and given us a beacon of hope that recovery is possible. What a beautiful gift!
***
Saving Bobby Synopsis:
When Renee Hodges invited her nephew, Bobby, to come stay with her for a few weeks so he could visit a doctor about his back pain, she knew he was recovering from an addiction to prescription painkillers. She believed that if he could address his back problems, he would have a better chance of staying clean—but she had no idea what a roller coaster ride she was getting on.
Unlike other books about addiction, Saving Bobby begins after rehab is over. Told in part through journal entries, e-mails, and personal recollections, this raw, honest, deeply moving memoir—begun to keep the family accountable—describes the sixteen months that Hodges, her husband, and their community struggled alongside Bobby as he attempted to successfully re-enter the day-to-day world. Using a holistic and open approach, the shame and stigma associated with addiction was lessened—and ultimately, Bobby learned he had to save himself.
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Editorial Reviews:
“…strikingly personal and lyrically told…. engrossing….A heartfelt, inspiring, and deeply moving chronology of substance abuse and enduring, unconditional familial love.”
―Kirkus Reviews
“I am sitting on the back porch of our condo bawling. I just finished Saving Bobby and I am filled with a belief that this 349-page book is the bravest thing I have ever seen in print. As Renee Hodges made it so clear in the end and was so apparent in each page, this is her story and maybe her eventual salvation. This process has brought Hodges to her darkest places and she found her salvation there. This sounds simple but I know how really hard that is. No one wants to do that. But she did.”
―Dr. William H. Davis, Orthopedic Surgeon“
As an orthopedic surgeon, I can say that we have faced the Perfect Storm in unwittingly facilitating opioid addiction in our patients . . . This has created an environment where the downstream catastrophe of opioid addiction has not been prioritized or even really thought much about. Renee Hodges has now given us a very loud, clear wakeup call that we must heed .
. . One has to ponder the tremendous good fortune and massive effort required to shepherd Bobby through the process of recovery.”
―Claude T. Moorman, III, MD, Executive Director, Duke Sports Sciences Institute and Head Team Physician, Duke Athletics“If you have a recovering substance abuser in your life or even if you don’t, this is an engaging read and a page turner. A truly inspiring look at a young man who was on a downward spiral until he found the right person to help him.”
―Linsey L. Hughes, Executive in Residence, Duke Financial Economics Center
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About the Author:
Although her Louisiana roots run deep, Renée Hodges and her husband have called North Carolina home for the past thirty years. Always up for a new challenge, Renée has run a campaign for a candidate for the Texas State House, worked at a ski resort, was the registration chair for a presidential campaign in NYC and she co-wrote and self-published in four states the Best Kept Secrets series of guide-books for home services, a prelude to Angie’s List, in the 1980’s. Settling into motherhood and raising a family, however, has been her most satisfying work, and today she is a wife, mother of three, writer, investor, community volunteer, and avid tennis player. She is also proud to be a Shatterproof ambassador.
Author Contact Information:
Website: http://www.ReneeHodgesAuthor.com
Facebook:https://facebook.com/ReneeHodgesAuthor
Instagram:https://Instagram.com/ReneeHodgesAuthor
Twitter: https://Twitter.com/R_HodgesAuthor
***
How about you? Does listening to music help you get in touch with suppressed feelings when you write?
We’d love to hear from you. Please join in the conversation below~
***
Next Week:
Monday, 5/21/18:
“Splashing in the Word Pool: A Memoir Moment”
May 7, 2018
Sharing Hope One Story at a Time: The Power of Community
Posted by Kathleen Pooler/@kathypooler
“When we share our stories, we share someone else’s.” ~ Remembering our Stories blog
Photo Credit: Pixabay Free Image
Sharng Hope One Story at a Time : The Power of Community
What happens when a person has the courage to write about recovering from an illness, a loss, an accident or assault, in short, some type of extremely traumatic life event?
What happens when they share it in public and are heard by others?
These are questions that surfaced when my writing colleagues, Judith Priest and Jay Towne met at the Amsterdam Free Library to plan a community-wide book event.
Judith Prest, LMSW, is a poet, collage artist, creativity coach and holds certificates in Expressive Art Therapy and Creativity Coaching from New York Expressive Arts Studio in Albany, NY. She was trained in SoulCollage® by Seena Frost in Baltimore MD, in Fall of 2008. Judith is the author of two poetry books, Late Day Light and Sailing on the Spirit Wind,
Judith Prest
Jay is President of The Mohawk Valley Foothills Art Council and hosts a podcast serial drama, based in Amsterdam, NY on www.bobcudmore.com. Here’s a link to one of his episodes:http://bobcudmore.com/thehistorians/tracks/Minutiae%20Episode%2010.mp3
Jaye Towne
We put out a call for poetry and prose work, unpublished or previously published. We wanted the work that was honest, reflective, and that has been written AFTER some processing/healing time – we wanted presenters to have had a chance to gain some perspective on the event(s) they had survived – enough to begin to see what they have learned as a result about themselves, about life, about their own capacity for healing and resilience.
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How Can Writing Be Healing?
Sandra Marinella, MA, MEd, is an award-winning writing teacher and the author of The Story You Need to Tell. In this post on Transformational Writers, “The Story You Need to Tell: Writing to Heal From Trauma, Illness or Loss”, she explores the physical, emotional and social benefits of expressive writing, including:
“Neuroscience proves our brains are wired for stories — and we can choose the stories that will define us and give us meaning.
We have the capacity to rewrite and edit our personal stories — and change our lives.
We need to open up, tell our painful stories, piece together our shattered experiences, embrace the positive, find our wisdom — and claim our new stories.”
Sharing Hope One Story at a Time…
Eight readers from the community responded and shared their stories of what happened and what they learned about life, themselves and their own resilience after surviving a traumatic life event.
For two hours, we listened, spellbound, to the tales of childhood sexual abuse, addiction recovery, cancer recovery, surviving Hurricane Irma after losing everything, watching a multi-handicapped child struggle to walk. And, in each case, a whole person, stood strong and changed, a testament to courage, resilience and hope. Some read from their published books, from excerpts of pending work, others from handwritten notes. Poetry, prose, memoir. There are so many ways to tell our stories.
Our stories connected us…
Perhaps the best part was gathering afterwards to share how these stories impacted us.
Therein lies the power of sharing our stories with others. When we face the pain, writing and rewriting our stories, we transform the power the trauma holds over us. We rewrite our endings and in doing so, we spread hope that recovery and happiness are possible despite the trauma.
When our stories tap into the universal experience, they are pure gold. Treaures.
We are all enriched, inspired , enlightened when we share our stories.
Photo Credit: Flickr Creative Commons
How about you? Do you feel writing about or sharing your stories of trauma in your life has helped you to move on? What is keeping you from sharing the stories of your heart?
I’d love to hear from you. Please join in the conversation below~
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ANNOUNCEMENT:
Congratulations to Anne Becker and Sara Etgen-Baker for being the winners of Diane Pomerantz’s audiobook of her memoir, Lost in the Reflecting Pool!
Next Week:
Monday, 5/14/18:
“Music and Memoir Writing by Memoirist Renee Hodges”
Renee is the author of Saving Bobby: Heroes and Heroin in One Small Community, a riveting memoir about one family’s road to recovery from opioid addiction.
April 30, 2018
Writing Until I Get There-My Memoir Writer’s Journey: An Interview with Diane Pomerantz
Posted by Kathleen Pooler/@kathypooler with Dr. Diane Pomerantz/@drdcpmd
“It was important for me to believe we weren’t lost, that we just had to keep walking until we got there.” ~ Diane Pomerantz, Lost in the Reflecting Pool, page 305
Photo Credit: www.elizabethchannels.com”Your Path to Truth”
I am very pleased to feature clinical psychologist and memoirist Diane Pomerantz in this interview about her new memoir, Lost in the Reflecting Pool, a story of one woman’s struggle to survive within and ultimately break free of a relationship with a man incapable of caring about anyone beyond himself. Diane explores how her memoir writer’s journey has been one of self-discovery and transformation.
My reviews of her memoir can be found on Amazon, Goodreads, LibraryThings and Riffle Books.
Welcome, Diane!
Dr. Diane Pomerantz
Writing Until I Get There-My Memoir Writer’s Journey:
An Interview with Diane Pomerantz
KP: Lost in the Reflecting Pool is a riveting memoir about living with and surviving a partner with a narcissistic personality disorder. What made you decide to write your story as a memoir?
DP: It was a process. I started out thinking I would write my story as a novel, primarily to protect my children and even my ex-husband. As a psychologist with a particular kind of community presence I also was unsure of how much I wanted to reveal about my personal life to the community at large. That initial process of writing the story, as it really happened, but with a different family constellation, under a pseudonym, with my own name changed within the narrative, allowed me to tell the true story with a certain distance, that painful events were written with more detachment … over time developing greater perspective. With that increased perspective and decreased pain, I realized that my story could be of help to others. One overarching theme in my book is how in so many aspects of our lives, especially love, we see things unfolding that don’t feel right, but we fail to trust that feeling. For me it took a confrontation with death to finally say “no more.” I wanted to share this learned lesson with others.
KP: You write in vivid detail about your ex-husband and children. How did you handle the decision to expose such an intimate story involving your family?
DP: It was not easy. I started writing my story about 19 years ago and my children were young. I would pick it up every so often but working full-time and raising young children on my own, made it difficult. My children knew I was writing a book and they liked the idea but they really were not at all involved in the process. It was when they were in college that I really began writing again and then made the decision to have it be a memoir. I had some very interesting reactions from my kids. When I was writing it as a novel, I had made my son into a twin. I was visiting him at his college shortly before graduation (and while he was still a twin in the book) and I turned to him as we drove and said,
“You know, I feel as if I should be going to two graduations … I’m so into writing about you being a twin…”
He turned to me, and with the rolling of the eyes that only a child can do to a parent, I knew he thought I was going crazy. A few months later, after graduation and after I decided that I would turn the book into a memoir, My son and daughter and I were out to dinner and I said,
“So, I wanted to let you know that my book isn’t a novel anymore, so Sam you’re not a twin anymore.”
Without a pause he blurted out, “You mean you killed my brother!” and we all laughed. They support the publication of my memoir and that is what is important to me. Other than my name, everyone continues to be disguised. I would have even continued to write my own character with another name despite it being a memoir, not as a disguise but to represent the universality of the concepts that I want to present in my book. It really is not about “me” but more about the “Universal I.”
KP: You write of multiple stressors that you had to face in addition to an insensitive and cruel husband, including your own cancer diagnosis, and multiple miscarriages. What gave you the strength to endure such simultaneous challenges?
DP: Resilience and vulnerability are complex. I believe that there are probably many factors involved as a response to that question, some temperamental, personality traits, protoplasm, etc. and I have been fortunate that an early life lesson I learned was “You never know what’s going on behind someone else’s door.” For me growing up in a diverse city like New York there were always others who had it worse than I did. But trauma is cumulative and my marriage, my husband, was someone that was a grounding force, the sadistic, gas-lighting that occurred while I was ill was truly more devastating than anything I had ever experienced. What made it possible to endure was truly that I had a wonderful support system of friends and family and doctors who rallied around. They saw what even I could not see and they took me to doctor’s appointments, they came and packed my house for moves and unpacked it at the other end, they listened and carried me through … I was blessed.
KP: Now that you have published your memoir, has your life changed? If so how so?
DP: The answer is both “Yes” and “No.” I have always functioned well, even when I have been “falling apart” inside … on the outside no one would know. My life is as full as it has always been, now more with writing than before. The most profound changes though are the internal one. As a psychologist, I have had years of my own psychotherapy and down my own psychological work, but since the publication of my memoir I feel more grounded in the world and in myself than I have ever experienced before. It is as if loose threads have been pulled together, not just from my marriage and that experience but from my life in general.
KP: Memoir writing often takes years to accomplish because of the layers of emotions involved in telling a story. Do you have any tips to share for others who are writing a memoir?
DP: Writing a memoir is a process; it is a process that should not, cannot be rushed. The unconscious will drive the process and only allows us to process what we are ready to deal with. People often about being psychologically overwhelmed if they try to write about traumatic events … I would suggest, that just write, if things are really too difficult they won’t come up. Working with an experienced writing coach can be helpful when dealing with this sort of material.
KP: How about marketing tips for aspiring memoir writers?
DP: I would suggest defining who your audience is beyond just genre. For example. Topics I address in my book are relationships, domestics abuse, narcissism, emotional abuse, cancer. Once you’ve identified your readers it is easier to find your marketplace.
***
Thank you Diane for sharing your memoir writer’s journey so openly and for shedding a light on how writing and sharing our stories can be transformational.
***
Lost in the Reflecting Pool
Brief Synopsis: This is a memoir and a psychological love story that is at times tender and at times horrifying. When Diane, a psychologist, falls in love with Charles, a charming and brilliant psychiatrist, there is laughter and flowers―and also darkness. After moving through infertility treatments and the trials of the adoption process as a united front, the couple is ultimately successful in creating a family. As time goes on, however, Charles becomes increasingly critical and controlling, and Diane begins to feel barraged and battered. When she is diagnosed with aggressive breast cancer, Charles is initially there for her, but his attentiveness quickly vanishes and is replaced by withdrawal, anger, and unfathomable sadism. What Diane previously thought were just Charles’ controlling ways are replaced by clear pathologic narcissism and emotional abuse that turns venomous at the very hour of her greatest need.
Awards:
2017 Human Relations Indie Book Awards: Gold in the Memoir category
2017 Human Relations Indie Book Awards: Gold in the Marriage-Relationship
category
2017 Human Relations Indie Book Awards: Silver in the Reflection category
2017 Human Relations Indie Book Awards: Bronze in Life Challenges
2017 Foreword Indies Finalist in Adult Nonfiction―Family & Relationships
2017 Readers Favorite Finalist
About the Author:
For more than twenty-five years, Dr. Diane Pomerantz has been a practicing psychologist, teacher , supervisor, and speaker in the Baltimore-Washington metropolitan area. Dr Pomerantz has published articles on topics of childhood trauma and personality development. This is her first book. She has two grown children and lives in Maryland with Rug, her shaggy dog.
Website: www.dianepomerantz.com
Facebook is: https://www.facebook.com/emotionalabusenomore/
Twitter: @drdcpmd
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How about you? What lessons have you learned from sharing your stories? As a writer, has memoir writing changed you? As a reader, has there been a memoir you’ve read that had a major impact on you?
Diane has graciously agreed to give away two copies of her Audible book to two commenters chosen at random.
We’d love to hear from you. Please join in the conversation below~
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This Week;
4/30/18: April 2018 Newsletter: Monthly Updates, Memoir Musings and Max Moments:
“Braving the Wilderness”
Next Week:
Monday, 5/7/18:
“Sharing Survival Stories: The Power of Community”
April 23, 2018
Life’s Sweet Treats: A Memoir Moment
Posted by Kathleen Pooler/@kathypooler
“It is the sweet, simple things of life which are the real ones after all.” ~Laura Ingalls Wilder
Photo Credit: Google Free Image
Life’s Sweet Treats: A Memoir Moment
I’m riding a wave of peaceful contemplation, bittersweet nostalgia and anticipatory grief these days as I watch my 95-year–old mother struggle and rally on this last leg of her earthly journey. Her moods and physical status can change in a heartbeat, sometimes from one phone conversation to the next; sometimes in a matter of minutes or hours.
Mom with her BFF, Inez who is 99.
To say that I am grateful that she still is around is an understatement. I will never be ready to say goodbye to her; she whom I’ve known and loved for my seventy-one years of life. My siblings and I marvel at her resilience and pluck. She vacillates from “why am I still here” to “I want to live to be 100, I don’t want to miss out on anything!” I never know which Mama I am going to find when I call her on the phone.
Safely ensconced in an assisted living facility, she is doted on and lovingly cared for by an adoring staff. She has found a home, her cozy nest with remnants of our life at 151 Cayuta Street—the fireplace mantle that adorned our living room now serves as the centerpiece for her room. (This mantle was purchased in 1954 by Nan, my maternal grandmother for the alcove off her living room. She gave it to my mother in the 1960s and it survived the floods from Hurricane Agnes in 1972 after which Mom painted it white).
Family pictures adorn the walls and shelves. A small bookcase displays a few books, including my first memoir. The floral-patterned couch that sat in our living room for years now divides her room into two sections. It also serves as a great place to take a quick nap which most of us do when we sit among all that coziness, especially when she has the “fake” fireplace turned on!
It gives me a sense of peace that she is comfortable and safe in her surroundings.
I’ve learned, as have my siblings, to appreciate the good moments and ride out the rough ones with faith and hope. Every once in a while, I get a sweet treat when I call her like I did on Easter Sunday,
“How was your Easter dinner, Mom?”
“”Oh, it was absolutely delicious,” she chirped, “ We had a selection of roast beef, turkey or lasagna and I had the turkey.” She continued,
“I got all dressed up, you know that pinstrip pant suit I have?”
“Yes, you always look so nice in that outfit.”
“Well, I wore it with that sequined sweater and you wouldn’t believe all the compliments I received when I walked into the dining room.”
“That must have been a good feeling,”
“Oh it was. I just wish someone could have taken a picture.”
I chuckled to myself, thinking about how Mom usually hates to have her picture taken. It gave me a warm feeling to sense that Mom felt good about herself.
“Oh, Kathy, I’ve been craving chocolate so much lately.”
“Aww, Mom, I remember how you used to hide chocolate candy around the house so Dad–or us kids– wouldn’t eat it.”
She giggled, “I’m worse than he ever was.” Dad had a sweet tooth a mile long and lived for his desserts, often times hiding them from Mom.
“I guess you were. You’d make carob brownies for us in the name of good nutrition then you’d sneak the real stuff for yourself.” I said as we shared a good belly laugh.
“Well, the good news is that I found three left over chocolate bunnies from the children’s Easter Egg hunt,” she said.” I brought them back to my room and hid them.”
Oh my gosh, Mom, just like old times.” I smiled when I heard the excitement in her voice.
***
I savor the memory of this moment probably about as much as Mom savored those three chocolate bunnies.
Photo Credit: Free Pixabay Image
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How about you? What sweet treats do you have to share?
I’d love to hear from you. Please join in the conversation below~
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Next Week:
Monday, 4/30/18:
“Writing Until I Get There-My Memoir Writer’s Journey: An Interview with Diane Pomerantz”
Diane is the author, Lost in the Reflecting Pool:A Memoir. a story about one woman’s struggle to survive and ultimately break free of a relationship with a man incapable of caring for anyone but himself.
April 2018 Newsletter: Updates, Memoir Musings, Max Moments:
“Braving the Wilderness ”
If you are interested in receiving these updates in your inbox, please sign up in the right side bar. I’d love to have you along!
April 19, 2018
The Power of Your Writer’s Purpose by Author Ellen Valladares: A WOW Blog Tour
Posted by Kathleen Pooler/@kathypooler with Ellen Valladares/@ValladaresEllen
“Effort and courage are not enough without purpose and direction.”~ John F. Kennedy
Purpose by John F. Kennedy
Welcome to Ellen Vallardes WOW Woman on Writing Blog Tour for her new young adult novel, Crossing the Line. She will discuss why and how defining your purpose can keep you on target.
Welcome , Ellen!
Author Ellen Valladares
The Power of Your Writer’s Purpose
Over the years, I’ve been involved in creating mission and vision statements for different organizations and I’ve always tried to create my own personal visions and goals. I’ve even taught workshops about discovering and living your life purpose. So, it was ironic that until a few years ago, I’d never heard of or thought about creating my writer’s purpose.
I was struggling to complete a rewrite of my manuscript and feeling stuck when I saw that Children’s Book Insider was offering a workshop called “It’s Your Time” with life coach and author Andrea Woolf. It was about getting unstuck and geared toward writers. It couldn’t have been more perfect, and I will tell you that I completed my rewrite a couple months after the course ended.
Our very first assignment for the course was to come up with a writer’s purpose. As Woolf explained, having a purpose gives us clarity and a sense of mission. Perhaps the most important part (to me, anyway) is that a purpose shifts the focus away from you. It can remind you, especially in those times of struggle, rejection, or procrastination, that it is not just about you. When we look at the bigger picture and see that we have a meaningful, important reason for what we are doing, we can get out of our heads and forge ahead in the direction of our dreams. If you’re like most writers, you have your own unique voice to share, a message to impart, and/or words that can inspire, motivate, uplift and entertain others. Your stories have the potential to impact other people and make a difference.
So, how do you come up with your individual writer’s purpose? Write about it, of course. I suggest carving out some quiet time for yourself to reflect about what motivates you to write, what inspires you, what you hope that others receive from your writing, and so on. You could start with “My writer’s purpose is…” and just begin writing. Keep digging deeper. What makes you unique as a writer? How will reading your words make a difference in another’s life?
It doesn’t have to be deep and serious by the way. It can be as simple as making a reader smile or laugh, or transporting them to another world for a moment. What it does have to be is authentic. You will know in your heart when you have honed in on it. Once you’ve finished writing, go back and reread it, picking out the highlights that speak to you, and condensing them into a few sentences.
I wrote and rewrote my writer’s purpose several times before coming up with something that resonated in my core. From time to time, I look at it and tweak it as needed. I have a short version and a longer version. It might also help to create a purpose that matches the current project you are working on since each book has a unique trajectory.
I truly believe that having a writer’s purpose was a powerful factor that helped me persevere through the writing/re-writing process and in seeking a publisher. As I now embark on sharing Crossing the Line with the world, that purpose is as important as ever. In the throes of marketing, social media, and being “reviewed,” my purpose provides an anchor, reminding why I began this journey. It also serves as a guidepost as I continue on to the next exciting steps.
If you have any questions about creating your writer’s purpose, comment below or email me at ellen@ellenvalladares.com. You can also find out more about purpose and other tools for moving forward in Andrea Woolf’s book, entitled Ignite Your Life! (Available on Amazon at https://www.amazon.com/Ignite-Your-Life-Where-Want/dp/1600377726).
Crossing The Line:
Paperback: 300 pages
Genre: Fiction / Young Adult Novel
Publisher: WiDO (March 2018)
ISBN-13: 978-1-937178-99-4
Amazon Link: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B079ZZD4VR/ref=cm_sw_r_fa_dp_U_NlfLAbVNHMYR3/?tag=wowwomenonwri-20
Book Synopsis:
Laura, who died thirty years ago, enlists the help of a tenacious high school reporter named Rebecca, who is very much alive. Rebecca, although skeptical and conflicted by her supposed encounters with a spirit, determines to learn the truth about Laura’s tragic death. As the clues unravel and their worlds collide, Rebecca finds herself at a dangerous crossroads.
Laura, now pulled back into everything she left behind when she died – her old high school and memories of her life and death—has been in training for this exact moment. And nothing means more to her than succeeding at her assignment.
It is her one chance to make sure that what happened to her does not happen to anyone else, and especially not to her new friend, Rebecca.
About the Author:
Ellen Wolfson Valladares is an award-winning writer/author, workshop facilitator, community volunteer, and mother. A native Floridian, she grew up in St. Petersburg and graduated with a bachelor’s degree in Journalism from the University of Florida. She has worked as an editor, public relations professional, and freelance writer. Her first book, a children’s novel entitled Jonathan’s Journey to Mount Miapu, received several awards, including a Mom’s Choice Gold Award and the 2009 Coalition of Visionary Resources Visionary Awards Book of the Year award. She also has a meditation CD, entitled “Healing and Manifestation with the Archangels.”
Today, Valladares continues to work as a freelance writer. She also enjoys coaching high school students working on their college essays and helping other writers realize their dreams. She has been married to her husband, Manny, for 30 years and they have two sons, Gabriel and Michael, two dogs, Flash and Chili Pepper, and a crazy cat named Zelda. They live in Weston, Fla.
Find Ellen Online:
website: http://www.ellenvalladares.com
Twitter: @ValladaresEllen
FB: @EllenValladares444 (link: https://fb.me/EllenValladares444)
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author
•••
Thank you, Ellen for sharing your thoughts on the writer’s purpose.
***
How about you? Do you find that being connected to your purpose helps you stay on target with your creative projects?
We’d love to hear from you. Please join in the conversation below~
***
Next Week:
Monday, April 23, 2018:
“Life’s Sweet Treats: A Memoir Moment”
April 16, 2018
When the Power Goes Out by Memoir Author Carol Rosenberger
Posted by Kathleen Pooler/@kathypooler with Carol Rosenberger
Photo Credit: Moliere, Brainy Quote
It is my pleasure to feature memoirist and famed concert pianist Carol Rosenberger in this guest post about her new memoir, To Play Again: A Memoir of Musical Survival, a poignant and inspiring story of a talented young pianist who is stricken at the age of twenty-one on the cusp of her career with paralytic polio and triumphs over the disease.
My reviews can be found on Amazon, Goodreads, LibraryThings and Riffle Books
Welcome Carol!
Memoirist and Concert Pianist Carol Rosenberger
When the Power Goes Out
What do you do when the power goes out and all is dark? For me, the answer is simple: I go to a lovely grand piano that takes up most of my living-room. I play sublime music that has lifted and comforted and excited and inspired so many, through the ages. The piano has always been there for me — for as long as I can remember.
But there was a terrifying time when my own “power” went out. As a 21-year-old concert pianist, I was stricken with paralytic polio. The diabolical virus killed the very motor neurons — in hands, arms, shoulders, back, neck and core muscles — that were most in use during piano-playing. Medical experts told me to turn to another field. Their consensus was that playing the piano would be out of the question.
But I couldn’t give up, and spent many years developing neuromuscular “work-arounds” to substitute for what had been destroyed. At first, I kept the polio story secret from all but family and close friends. But after I’d been accepted once again as a pianist, and was back on the concert stage, I found that I could be helpful to others by sharing what I’d had to learn so painfully.
Photo Credit: Pixabay Free Image
And now I’ve written a book, To Play Again, about how I defied the odds, and once again became a concert pianist. I describe the “work-arounds” in some detail, because I know such descriptions can help others. I also pass along wonderful stories about close friends who were very helpful to me along the way, such as Amelia Haygood — a onetime journalist, then a psychologist helping wounded vets and underprivileged youngsters, and finally the founder of Delos, an American classical record label. Amelia was always focused on helping others, and never got around to writing about her own fascinating life.
To Play Again emerged over time, as I had a chance to shape it in between touring, teaching, making my own recordings, producing recordings for fellow artists, and finally, in the past few years, running the Delos label. As I began to tell the story, I was glad to see that others working to overcome hardships have found it encouraging.
I hope that this book helps to emphasize what a great gift it is to have sublime music in one’s life. Over the years, students I’ve worked with have expressed doubts about spending so much effort to play an instrument, or sing, on a high level, since the classical music field is such a competitive one. My answer has always been that the goal is to have intimate access to great music in one’s life — not only as a listener but also as an active, and privileged, participant.
Photo Credit: Pexel Free Image
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Book Synopsis:
At age twenty-one, while she was working with the legendary Nadia Boulanger in France, concert pianist Carol Rosenberger was stricken with paralytic polio—a condition that knocked out the very muscles she needed in order to play. But Rosenberger refused to give up. Over the next ten years, against all medical advice, she struggled to rebuild her technique and regain her life as a musician—and went on to not only play again, but to receive critical acclaim for her performances and recordings. Beautifully written and deeply inspiring, To Play Again is Rosenberger’s chronicle of making possible the seemingly impossible: overcoming career-ending hardships to perform again.
About the Author:
“Ravishing, elegant pianism” wrote The New York Times of American pianist Carol Rosenberger, whose four-decade concert career is represented by over thirty recordings on the Delos label. Many are enduring favorites worldwide, and have brought her a Grammy Award nomination, Gramophone’s Critic’s Choice Award, Stereo Review’s Best Classical Compact Disc and Billboard’s All Time Great Recording.
Milwaukee Sentinel’s Jay Joslyn wrote: “Polio destroyed every tool a pianist must have except heart and mind. With legendary dedication, Miss Rosenberger overcame her musical death sentence. The insight and understanding she gained through her ordeal is apparent in the high quality of her musicianship.”
Carol has been the subject of articles in many leading newspapers and magazines, and as an artist teacher, was a faculty member of the University of Southern California and gave performance workshops nationwide. With Delos founder Amelia Haygood, Carol co-produced many recordings by world-class artists. After Haygood’s death in 2007, Carol became the label’s director. Learn more at www.carolrosenberger.com.
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Thank you, Carol, for sharing your incredible story of triumph against all odds. Your memoir is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit in the face of insurmountable challenges.
***
How about you? Have you ever had to face overwhelming setbacks and triumphed over them? Do you have any questions for Carol?
We’d love to hear your story. Please join in the conversation below.~
This Week:
Thursday, 4/19/18:
“The Power of Your Writer’s Purpose by Ellen Valladares: A WOW Blog Tour”
Ellen in the author of a young adult novel, Crossing the Line.
Next Week:
Monday, 4/23/18:
“Life’s Sweet Treats: A Memoir Moment”
April 9, 2018
Lessons From Revising My Memoir
Posted by Kathleen Pooler/@kathypooler
” I work very hard at writing, writing and rewriting and try to weed out the lumber.” David McCullough
Photo Credit: FreeStockPhoto.com
I once heard a saying “Life is the art of drawing without an eraser” (Author Unknown).
Those of us who are writers know we need to keep erasers handy.
Lessons From Revising My Memoir
We’ve all heard the phrase “writing is rewriting” and nothing feels closer to that truth as I revise my memoir-in-progress. After defining the narrative arc of the story- the beginning , middle and the end- I now am going back to refine, deepen and polish up the narrative.
The suggestions from beta readers and a professional editor beyond defining the narrative arc of the story included: cutting out, rearranging, going deeper into sections of the story.
The first thing I did was set it aside and let it marinate for a few weeks. And I continue to do that as needed.
With fresh eyes, I approach my edits asking myself the following questions:
*Am I clear on the vision (main theme) of my story?
*Does it fit in with the overall theme?
*Does my story make sense?
*Do the scenes move the story along?
*Does the sequence of scenes make sense?
*Are the subthemes woven in tightly enough?
*Are the characters believable?
*Is my POV clear- past voice vs present day reflection
*Does my main character demonstrate change/growth?
*Is there enough tension and conflict to hold the interest of the reader?
*Is the ending satisfying?
*Is it grammatically correct?
Basically, I am revising with the reader in mind.
I’m at the point where every time I look at my manuscript, I change it-cut out, rearrange or add to. I have printed it out and gone through it with a red pen. As a result, chapters were rearranged, sentences have been changed, sections have been deleted.
This Huffington Post article, “Top 5 Strategies for Revising Your Memoir” by Memoirist and Editor Dorit Sasson offers some key ways to approach the revision process.
My favorite line is “With each revision, you need to deepen the scene and your memoir’s takeaways.”
In summary, here are the lessons I’ve learned about revising my memoir:
* Be open to constructive feedback.
* Expect to look at your manuscript with new eyes.
* Give yourself periods of cooling off to gain perspective.
* Edit with the reader in mind.
* Find a question that the book needs to answer and let that question guide you.
* Read your manuscript out loud.
* Rewrite and revise until it’s right.
How will I know when it’s right?
That’s a topic for another time, but I am getting closer to the end when I feel it’s as done as it’s going to be. My next step is to print it out again and have both my children read it. Although it is a mother’s story, my children were deeply affected and deserve to have an opportunity to read it and decide if it’s right for them.
Susan Weidener of the Women’s Writing Circle addresses this thorny issue in her latest post, “When Family Says, ‘Don’t Write My Story'”.
I am fortunate that my children have read various drafts along the way and have been open and supportive. It takes time to process the emotions triggered by reading about past events. But it’s worth honoring this process so that in the end, they will own their part in the story.
How about you? What tips do you have to share about the revision process?
I’d love to hear from you. Please leave your comments below~
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Next Week:
Monday, 4/16/18:
“When the Power Goes Out by Memoir Author Carol Rosenberger”
Carol is the author of To Play Again: A Memoir of Musical Survival, an inspirational story of an internationally renowned concert pianist who is stricken with paralytic polio and works her way back to playing again.
