Kathleen Pooler's Blog, page 17
July 23, 2018
Dodging–and Handling– Curve Balls: Interview with Memoirist Krishan Bedi About Engineering a Life
Posted by Kathleen Pooler/@kathypooler with Krishan Bedi@kriskbedi
“A dream doesn’t become reality through magic; it takes sweat, determination and hard work”~ Colin Powell
Photo Credit: Pixabay Free Image “Heavy”
It gives me great pleasure to feature Memoirist Krishan Bedi in this guest interview about his new memoir, Engineering a Life. Krishan and I met online and after reading his memoir, persistence and determination took on a new meaning. He dodged multiple curve balls to go on to fulfill the American dream. He also offers a vivid glimpse into the timely topic of immigration and leaves no doubt that we are all better off for his presence on our soil.
My reviews of Engineering a Life can be found on Amazon, Goodreads, LibraryThings and Riffle Books.
Welcome, Krishan!
Memoirist Krishan Bedi
Dodging Curve Balls: Interview with Krishan Bedi About Engineering a Life
KP: What inspired you to write your story, Engineering a Life, as a memoir?
KB: To share my experiences with everyone that how I handled the plethora of curve balls thrown my way with determination, humor, hope, and unwavering faith that everything would work out. People can take away and learn that you must not give up, no matter what, and must tackle the obstacles and move on. It is a story of an immigrant who achieved The American Dream against all the odds. My friends enjoyed listening to my stories and indicated that I must write a book. It is way for ordinary people to discover and share the extra ordinary in their lives.
KP: There were so many details from your past that you shared. What was the research process like?
KB: In the beginning the idea of writing my memoir was quite exciting but then started gathering the specifics. That was not an easy task. First, I was able to get my grades from my colleges to narrate the failing part. To narrate the summer job experiences, I requested SSA to send me the list of my employers since my arrival in this country (1962 thru 1983). At times I was stuck not knowing the details so called several of my friends. It was amazing to hear their responses that Kris what are you talking about how am I to remember what you did….but with some conversation it all came back.
It is by no means an easy task but if you are determined to write then you will find the facts. At times I had discussion with my wife and that brought some unpleasant and emotions were rekindled. That was quite tough.
KP: What were the most rewarding and/or challenging part of writing your memoir?
KB: Of course, it was quite rewarding that I have completed writing my memoir after seven years of hard work. The challenging part was to reduce the length of my original manuscript of 200,000 words to close to 90,000 words. The decision of which story to keep and delete was very tough for me. Not knowing which stories are the appropriate and readers would love it. You must listen to your inner voice.
Then, the challenge was getting it published. That turned out to be quite a learning experience of getting your memoir published. Again, stay with it. Just think, you are almost there………
KP: What are you working on at the moment? What should readers keep an eye out for in the future?
KB: Currently, I am working on promoting my memoir to various organizations. I am working on speaking to several local organizations. I had a book signing at Barnes and Noble on April 6, 2018. I am working on doing motivational and inspirational speaking engagements throughout the county.
KP: Do you have any book recommendation(s) for our readers looking for more books by Asian authors?
In Shock: My Journey from Death to Recovery and the Redemptive Power of Hope
by Rana Awdish
Big Little Man: In Search of My Asian Self
by Alex Tizon
Love, Hate and Other Filters Hardcover
by Samira Ahmed
In the Country We Love: My Family Divided
Book by Diane Guerrero
Engineering a Life Synopsis:
Included on BookBub’s “The Most Exciting Memoirs Coming Out in 2018” list
Krishan Bedi came to the United States in December of 1961 at the tender age of twenty. He had only $300 in his pocket, and he had made it out of his small village in India on sheer faith, determined to get education in the US. For him, there was no option but to succeed—so he began his new life in Knoxville, Tennessee, where he had to adapt to the culture shock not only of being in the US but a Punjabi man in the South in the 1960s.
Engineering a Life is an examination of Bedi’s life, and how he has handled the plethora of curve balls thrown his way with determination, humor, and an unwavering faith that everything would work out. This is a book about values and faith and the importance of friendship, family, and hard work. It’s a story about achieving the American Dream, proving that no matter how thoroughly you map out your life’s journey, no matter how many blueprints you draw up, when you veer off the course you’ve plotted—as we all do, somehow, in the end—you end up where you’re supposed to be.
About the Author:.
Krishan Bedi came to the US by boat with only $300 in his pocket in December 1961. A twenty-year-old from the tiny village of Punjab, India, Bedi had big dreams and ideas of what he wanted to do with his life. His journey has been a bumpy one and not without a host of failures and obstacles. Bedi learned that it would take an abundance of hard work and persistence to create the life he wanted for himself. Bedi eventually earned a master’s degree in Industrial Engineering at the University of Tennessee. Krishan returned to India after nine years to have an arranged marriage. Together they returned to the States so his wife could experience the American lifestyle. Back in the US, he developed a career as a Healthcare Executive, becoming successful and ultimately presenting papers at professional healthcare societies. He’s since served as member of several healthcare professional organizations, and is currently a member of the board of Indo-American Society of Peoria.
Krishan later moved with his family back to New Delhi to open a new five hundred-bed state-of-the-art medical center based upon western patient centered care. While in India, he opened a television assembly plant, and later partnered at a leather jackets export venture, spending a few months in Germany before moving back to the States for good.
Bedi now lives with his wife. They have three successful sons and five grandchildren. In his spare time, Bedi enjoys reading, cooking, spending time with friends and family, and participating each year in St. Jude’s 465-mile Memphis to Peoria relay-run, which has raised over $80,000 for the St Jude Medical Hospital in Memphis, Tennessee.
Connect with Krishan Bedi
Twitter @kristkbedi
Website: Krishan K Bedi
Facebook: Engineering a Life:
Instagram: KrishanKBedi
LinkedIn: Krishan K Bedi
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Thank you Krishan, for sharing your memoir writing process with us. You have shown us how dodging those curve balls helped you move on to fulfill your dreams.
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How about you? Have you written about dodging curve balls in your life?
We’d love to hear from you. Please join in the conversation below~
***
Next Week:
Monday, July 30, 2018:
“Choosing the Right Title for Your Memoir”
July 2018 Newsletter: Monthly Updates, Memoir Musings, Max Moments:
“Freedom to Choose”
If you are interested in receiving this monthly newsletter in your inbox, please sign up on the right sidebar. I’d love to have you along!
July 16, 2018
IWWG Annual Summer Conference 2018 Recap
Posted by Kathleen Pooler/@kathypooler
Connect, Create, Collaborate
The 41st Annual Summer Conference for The International Women Writers Guild (IWWG) was held at Muhlenberg College in Allentown, Pennsylvania, July 6-13. This year, I was only there for the weekend.
This conference was a chance to dedicate quality time to my writing in a lovely setting among friendly, supportive women writers.
It is a gift I give myself each year.
With twenty six workshops across all genres to chose from, the biggest challenge is always deciding the best use of my time. Since I was only there for the weekend, the week-long workshops requiring pre-registatrion were not an option, in particular, Maureen Murdock’s ” Advanced Seminar in Memoir” or Kelly DuMar’s “Play Lab: Writing & Producing Your Short Play or Monologue”.
It helps to set specific learning goals ahead of time. I was looking for a boost to get me and my manuscript to the finish line.
I chose a potpouri of topics that I felt might help me improve my writing and stimulate creativity:
Susan Tiberghian (Creative Non-Fiction): Ways to Wholeness through Writing
June Gould (Multi-Genre) Women’s Eureka Moments: The Transformative Power of Women Writing About Childhood Memories.
Linda Leedy Schneider (Poetry): The Art and Craft of Poetry: Amaze Yourself.
Janice Gary (Creative Non-Fiction): Our Bodies, Our Selves: Unlocking the Stories Our Bodies Hold.
Jan Philips (Multi-Genre): Getting Your Story Straight: Finding the Gold in Your Life Experiences
I also participated in the Creative NonFiction Critique, the Book Fair and Open Mic Readings where I read a three-minute excerpt of my work-in-progress memoir, Just the Way He Walked: A Mother’s Story of Healing From Cancer and Her Son’s Alcohol Addiction.
Yes, that’s a new title which came in an “aha” moment after reading an excerpt of my memoir during “open mic”.
It was a lot to pack into three days but it was well-worth it.
As usual, getting away to a writer’s conference —connecting and collaborating with other women writers was just what I needed to feed my writer’s soul and fill my creative well.
Oh, and perhaps most important, it was fun. We met in the evening for fifteen—minutes of “furious dancing.”
How about you? How do writing conferences inspire you?
I’d love to hear from you. Please join in the conversation below~
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Next Week:
Monday, July 23, 2018:
“Dodging–and Handling –Curve Balls: An Interview with Memoirist Krishan Bedi”
Krishan is the author of Engineering a Life: A Memoir, the inspirational story of a young man from India who overcomes many obstacles to achieve the American Dream.
July 9, 2018
The Business of Being: An Interview with Laurie Buchanan, PhD
Posted by Kathleen Pooler/@kathypooler with Laurie Buchanan, PhD/@TueswithLaurie
“Don’t go with the flow, or against it. Create your own.” —Laurie Buchanan
I am very pleased to feature Laurie Buchanan, PhD again to talk about her new book, The Business of Being: Soul Purpose In and Out of the Workplace, with a publication date of July 10, 2018. For those of you who know Laurie, you know that she is a respected professional life coach and a professed minimalist who dishes out pearls of wisdom about living life with intention. For those who are just meeting her, you’re in for a treat! Laurie was my guest when she published her first book, Notes to Self.
My reviews for The Business of Being can be found on Amazon, Goodreads, LibraryThings and Riffle Books.
My reviews for Note to Self can also be found on Amazon, Goodreads, LibraryThings and Riffle Books
Welcome back, Laurie!
Author and Transformational Life Coach Laurie Buchanan, PhD.
The Business of Being: An Interview with Laurie Buchanan, Ph.D.
KP: Laurie, I’m thrilled to have you back to discuss your new book, The Business of Being. Let me say for starters that the title immediately drew me in. The topic of business can be very dry, yet the “being” part intrigued me. How did you come up with this title?
LB: I was first introduced to ONTOLOGY while reading Madeleine L’Engle’s nonfiction series, The Crosswicks Journals and have been fascinated ever since. Ontology is the philosophical study of the nature of being, becoming, existence, or reality. In my position as a holistic health practitioner, I work with people’s BEing on a regular basis. In my role as a transformational life coach, I often work with people who are interested in starting their own business. The idea of writing a book about The Business of Being was too good to pass up.
KP: You published this book a mere two years after publishing Notes to Self. That makes me think the ideas were brewing in your mind while writing your first book. I think that’s a common feeling among writers, yet you made it happen. How did you discipline yourself to keep writing until you finished your second book? Any writing tips to share about staying on track and getting it done?
LB: I took a three-month sabbatical to Darby, Montana Jan-Mar, 2017 to work on The Business of Being. During that window of time that geographic location experienced record-breaking snow storms. That foul weather kept me indoors and focused on the task at hand—getting the book out of my head and into a manuscript.
My best tips for staying on track with writing are to (a) schedule it in my calendar and honor it like it would any other professional appointment, and (b) light a tea candle when I sit down to write. When I light that candle, the flame is my “contract” to stay seated until the fire goes out of its own volition (usually about five hours).
KP: In Business of Being, you weave in three separate books —a business guide, an engaging story and a self-help guide—into one. That is what kept me turning the pages because you laid the foundation of business principles, applied business practices to the story of a group of people who started a French Restaurant (complete with recipes for each course) then turned it all into life lessons to apply to one’s own life. How did you come up with such a creative and engaging structure?
LB: As you can imagine, a business book has the potential for being dry as stale bread and who wants to choke that down? No one. As a foodie, I w anted this book to be a delicious read, so I paired twelve elements in a business plan with twelve courses in a full French meal, offering a mouthwatering recipe and wine pairing for each course.
The chapters in The Business of Being are designed like a decadent chocolate sandwich cookie:
The lightly sweet wafer on one side reviews a single business plan element.
The delicious wafer on the other side is the counterpart in our personal lives and shows how the concept can be used to make BEing even better.
The sinfully rich ganache filling between is the story of La Mandarine Bleue, a French restaurant that shows from start to finish—hors d’oeuvres to cafe’—how the elements (ingredients of a business plan) are dished up and served to perfection in real life.
KP: We all have our reasons for publishing a book. What motivated you to write The Business of Being? What is the main message you want your reader to glean from your story?
LB: I ran away from home—sunny southern California to the overcast Pacific Northwest—when I was fifteen. Lying about my age, I applied at one of those everything-under-one-roof superstores and got a job. Over the next five years, I worked my way from entry-level cashier to management.
During that five-year timeframe, I had occasion to attend corporate meetings at the company headquarters in Portland, Oregon. On a few of those visits, I had the opportunity to meet the founder, the man responsible for implementing the company’s governing beliefs.
I hadn’t thought about that employment experience in decades until my husband and I relocated from twenty-three years in the greater Chicagoland area to the temperate climate of southwestern Idaho and I saw one of the stores. I pulled into the parking lot, entered the doors, and a flood of good memories rushed in. As a businesswoman, I wondered:
Does this superstore—that has since been bought by a megastore but operates under the same name—still practice its fundamental governing beliefs? Have the original principles been expanded? Have they been compromised?
But more important, as a transformational life coach I wanted to answer this question,
“Can implementing business values improve personal lives?”
To get the answers, I applied for a job. During the interview process, I explained the purpose of my application for employment—to get back in the trenches so I could answer those questions honestly and write a book from a present-day perspective that would benefit my clients.
As a holistic health practitioner, I was an ideal fit for a position in their nutrition center. Thus began my two-year, behind-the-scenes investigative look at what moves the current-day business forward—and what holds it back.
KP: Marketing is always a challenging aspect of publishing a book. You have been marketing this book for a while—well before your publication date– through book announcements, advanced reviews, blogging about your writing process. I’d love for you to share some of your marketing tips that you have found to be effective.
LB: In my experience, consistency is the key. Each morning I change the pinned Tweet on my Twitter account to something fresh—usually a meme I’ve created with a quote that is positive, uplifting, constructive, and healing. It might be a quote from one of my books, or it might be from an inspirational person whose philosophy I respect. I then post that same meme on my personal and author pages on Facebook, and on Instagram. If it’s business related, I’ll post it on LinkedIn, too.
But it doesn’t stop there. If we want people to reTweet, reGram, or share our posts, we have to do the same for them. I invest the time it takes me to enjoy two cups of coffee each morning sharing other people’s social media posts.
KP: Thank you, Laurie, for sharing your writing process with us. Is there anything else you’d like to add?
LB: Kathy, THANK YOU so much for having me as your guest. It’s always a pleasure to visit with you and your readers.
***
Thank you, Laurie, for sharing your writing process and your life experiences that led to you writing this book. You have served up a feast for us all to enjoy!
Author’s Bio:
Board certified by the American Association of Drugless Practitioners, Laurie Buchanan is a holistic health practitioner and transformational life coach. Her areas of interest include energy medicine, inner alchemy, spiritual awareness, writing, and laughter. Definitely laughter!
Embracing the belief that life is an expression of the choices we make, Buchanan is a teacher and student of purposeful living. With tremendous respect for the earth’s natural resources, she strives to leave the slightest footprint on the planet while at the same time making a lasting impression on its inhabitants—one that is positive, uplifting, constructive,and healing.
A minimalist by intent, she lives a beautiful life with fewer things—simple yet full.
Please visit Laurie’s blog, Tuesdays with Laurie, at www.tuesdayswithlaurie.com.
Synopsis of The Business of Being:
This book isn’t just about being in business; it’s about the business of being. But when you stop to think about it, each of us is like a small business. Successful business owners implement strategies that improve their prospects for success. Similarly, as human beings, it serves us well to implement guiding principles that inspire us to live our purpose and reach our goals.
The rich ganache filling that flows through the center of this book is the story of La Mandarine Bleue, a delicious depiction of how nine individuals used twelve steps of a business plan to find their vocation and undergo a transformation (with some French recipes thrown in for good measure).
From a business plan and metrics to mission and goals with everything between—investors, clients and customers, marketing strategies, and goodwill development—this book clearly maps how to create personal transformation at the intersection of business and spirituality. Merging the language of business and self-help, The Business of Being will teach you how to enhance “profitability”—body, mind, and spirit.
Amazon link (available on July 10, 2018)
The Business of Being: Soul Purpose In and Out of the Workplace is a Finalist in the Self-Help: Motivational category of the 2018 International Book Awards:
http://www.internationalbookawards.com/2018pressrelease.html
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How about you? Can you see how applying business principles to your life can help you live with intention?
We’d love to hear from you. Please join in the conversation below~
***
Next Week:
Monday, July 16, 2018:
“The Annual IWWG Summer Conference 2018 Recap.”
July 2, 2018
The Magic of Memories: A Memoir Moment
Posted by Katheen Pooler/@kathypooler
The Magic of Memories
Memory is an illusive guest, flitting in and out of our conscious minds randomly. There is a complex science behind how we remember, store and retrieve memories, well beyond the scope of this post.
For the purpose of this post, don’t you wonder why certain memories are more vivid than others? Some happy, others not so much.
It’s my birthday week and my memory takes me right back to Keuka Lake where I spent every birthday from 2000-2014 at our family cottage.
These memories are treasures.
In 2000, my father purchased a lake house on a prime piece of land on Keuka Lake, one of the beautiful Finger Lakes in Central New York State. I wrote how this came about in this tribute to Crooked Lake Memories in 2013 after my traditional vacation week at the lake.
Life can change in a heartbeat and, for reasons both rational and practical, in 2014 we decided to put our beloved lake house on the market in and it sold within a few months.
During my final week at the lake in 2014, I grieved the loss of our lake house as fragments of happy times floated–sometimes barreled– through my mind.
Every morning from my bedroom, I soaked up the sounds of the waters lapping against the shore as the gentle, cool summer breezes skimmed my body. The sights, smells and sounds of the lake surrounded me and wrapped me in a cloak of warmth, security and happy memories.
Dad lived there (he died in 2010), his presence in every corner of the cottage, down the steps, on the beach, on the wooden swing built by the Amish. I am holding his hand as we walk in tandem down the steps to sit on the swing and watch the mother duck escort her baby ducklings across the water.
Fourteen years of spending a precious week in paradise—sipping coffee on the deck overlooking the beach and great expanse of water with motorboats, sailboats and jet skis gliding by–reading, writing, dreaming. How ironic that the first time I saw the cottage in 2000, my eyes zeroed in on this deck and I dreamed of the book I would write someday. As I walked away for the last time, I realized my dream of holding my book, Ever Faithful to His Lead: My Journey Away From Emotional Abuse, in my hands.
I looked across the lake at Keuka College with its stately buildings lit up at night and I remembered moving my daughter, now married with two sons, into her college dorm. My heart expanded in my chest as I watched my grandsons jumping off the dock, laughing and giggling. Holding their own World Cup Event, they played soccer in the upper field and threw the ball into the lake for their puppy, Peppermint, to retrieve.
The smoky smell of the campfires at night and S’mores brings memories of Dad and Mom, Uncle Michael, Aunt Pat and Aunt Rose—our cherished elders , some now gone– huddled around the fire, enjoying the evening. That final year, a new twist—S’mores with York Peppermint Patties or Reese’s Pieces instead of Hershey’s Chocolate.
And it all flashes before me—getting lost in a book, going for a boat ride, jumping off the dock, floating on a raft, gathering with family and friends for feasts—tables overflowing with way too much food we vowed we would change the next time—but never did. And memories of Dad, sneaking a few chocolate cookies under a bowl of ice cream so Mom won’t notice. I still see him on the shore, sitting on the swing with his straw hat, living his dream of watching his children and grandchildren frolic in the water, perusing his kingdom.
A haven for sons and daughters, grandchildren, aunts , uncles, cousins and friends…
Oh, precious lake house, I grieved for you—for all you represented with your quiet beauty. You contained the joy of a family—a Richard Scarrey storybook of laughter and fun– on the paddle board, in the paddle boat, hanging out, bonding, resting from the world, bodies melting into the sectional coach in the living room, slipping into its cushions to nap ,watch a movie or, that final year, to watch the World Cup.
Our dreams were created and fulfilled on your rocky shores; a sanctuary for all to embrace the solitude, the festive gatherings, the memories.
The pain of letting you go still rears up in unexpected moments–deep and piercing…
In my grief, my beautiful daughter Leigh Ann comforted me with the lyrics to “The Time of Your Life” by Green Day:
“It’s something unpredictable but in the end it’s right. I hope you have the time of your life.”
And I was reminded of the ten-year old Leigh Ann who belted out Annie’s “Tomorrow” on our front porch in Ebensburg, Pa in 1983:
“The sun ‘ll come up tomorrow”…
Perhaps the greatest tribute to our beloved lake house is found in this poem written by my younger brother, Gary:
“The Crooked Lake
For our family, sons and daughters
Thank you for the peace bestowed by misshapen waters.
Where rocky shores draw boundaries
If distant memories and current quandaries
Whose vista leaves one thinking of life
Intertwined with inevitable and continuous strife
The hills and vineyards tower over the water not aloof or too proud
But protects the lake with a majestic shroud
Our lives, not easy, most human with turns and bends
Like the lake itself gives us pause to make amends
Good times, tough times, changes for sure
The crooked lake is our sanctuary that helps the family endure.”
***
I know you will go on to bring joy to another family.
And I know our family will endure through the loss.
But, oh how it hurt to let you go…
On this day in 2018, the beautiful memories linger and still make me smile.
***
How about you? Have you ever grieved for a place that has held a strong emotional connection? Do the memories console you?
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Next Week:
Monday, July 9, 2018:
“The Business of Being: An Interview with Author Laurie Buchanan, PhD.”
Laurie is the author of The Business of Being:SoulPurpose In and Out of the Work Place, scheduled for publication on July 10, 2018. Available on preorder.
June 25, 2018
I Couldn’t Put It Down! What Makes a Memoir Compelling? by Elizabeth Garber
Posted by Kathleen Pooler/@kathypooler with Elizabeth Garber
“A memoir is a work of sustained narrative prose controlled by the idea of the self under obligation to lift from the raw material of life a tale that will shape experience, transform event, deliver wisdom.”~ Vivian Gornick, The Situation and the Story: The Art of Personal Narrative p.91
I am very pleased to feature memoirist Elizabeth Garber in this guest post about what makes a memoir compelling. Elizabeth is the author of Implosion: A Memoir of an Architect’s Daughter.
My reviews can be found on Amazon, Goodreads, LibraryThings and RiffleBooks.
Welcome, Elizabeth!
Memoirist Elizabeth Garber
I Couldn’t Put It Down! What Makes a Memoir Compelling
I started writing a memoir before I even knew what I was doing. I had been a poet for decades, but suddenly I was inundated with memories and I started writing vivid accounts of my childhood in prose. After months of writing, I realized this was a memoir. I knew I had no idea what I was doing, and that I needed different skills from poetry. When I discovered Vivian Gornick’s The Situation and The Story, I made it my guide. I underlined nearly a quarter of the book, and I reread my favorite sections over and over.
I started reading memoirs avidly. I wanted to discover the territory I had wandered into. I wanted to learn the craft of memoirs by studying from them directly. A stack of memoirs steadily piled up on the bookshelf next to my bed. One day I looked at the pile of memoirs and saw most of them had a bookmark sticking out of the book, some half-way, others three quarters of the way. I actually finished very few. Something was bogging down in the writing that made me put them down.
I wondered why wasn’t I finishing most memoirs? When I began a memoir, I leapt in, like I was on a first date, thrilled to get to know a new person. But often, midway through the memoir, I was no longer fascinated. Actually, I’d grown tired of this person and their life story. Often the writer began to relate a procession of events, ‘and then I did this,’ hurrying us along to more important recent revelations. Like a third date that was going nowhere, I would sigh and put the book down.
But every now and then, there was a memoir that grabbed me, moved me, and compelled me from start to finish. What was it about the memoirs that kept my rapt attention on the story? They are offering me something I needed to know.
How did they craft the writing, touch me emotionally, and lay down a portrait of a life that I wanted to continue to the end?
Over time I developed a series of question that I used to assess if a memoir was compelling. I typed up my list of questions and favorite quotes and put it on the wall above my desk to guide me as I wrote my own memoir. This was my guide as I worked to deepen the exploration of what would bring depth into my writing. I hope these questions and quotes might be of value as you write, explore, and create a compelling memoir.
Is This a Memoir? Questions to Ask Yourself:
Are we off to a strong start?
Is there enough here to engage us for a whole book?
A great memoir is a journey where the writers join with readers to find themselves hidden within the pages. … we can still sense the shadow of self-discovery as it hovers behind us. (Laurie Uttich, p56)
Has the writer established a strong effective voice?
Get the narrator and you’ve got the piece. Who is speaking, what is being said, and what is the relationship between the two. (Vivian Gornick, p161)
What is the “story”?
What happened to the writer is not what matters: what matters is the large sense that the writer is able to make of what happened.” (Vivian Gornick, p91)
Is there a Depth of Inquiry?
The question clearly being asked in an exemplary memoir is “Who am I.” …On that question the writer of memoir must deliver. Not with an answer but with depth of inquiry. (Vivian Gornick, p92)
Is the writer’s craft skillful? Does the writer’s style propel the reader through the story?
Is there a Narrative Arc or 3 act structure that holds the reader’s attention?
Does the Memoir Have Heart?
If these books… represent the new memoir at its best, it’s because they are written with love. They elevate the pain of the past with forgiveness, arriving at a truth about families in various stages of brokenness. There’s no self-pity, no whining, no hunger for revenge…They want us to know… we have endured to tell the story without judgment and to get on with our lives. (William Zinsser, p.5)
Does the Memoir pass the deadly two thirds of the way ‘bogging down’ place?
You have to take pains in a memoir not to hang on the reader’s arm, like a drunk, and say, ‘And then I did this and it was so interesting. (Annie Dillard)
Is there a transformation in the narrator’s understanding that has occurred in the span of the story?
Is there a satisfying end?
Memoir is how we try to make sense of who we are, who we once were, and what values and heritage shaped us. If a writer seriously embarks on the quest, readers will be nourished by the journey. (Zinsser, p6)
It is in the combining of craft, structure, and heart, that an alchemy occurs, creating the magic where a story and a life comes alive. You have been invited to write that story. Hold on tight for the ride until you finish writing your memoir.
Recommended Resources:
Dillard, Annie, “To Fashion a Text,” The Fourth Genre: Contemporary Writers of/on Creative NonFiction (Needham Heights, MA: Allyn and Bacon, 1999).
Gornick, Vivian, The Situation and the Story: The Art of Personal Narrative (New York: Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2001)
Hampl, Patricia, I Could Tell You Stories: Sojourns in the Land of Memory (New York:
W.W.Norton and Co., 1999)
Uttich, Laurie Rachkus, “Starting After Z: Present-Moment Beginings that Reveal a Memoir’s Ending,” The Writer’s Chronicle, Vol 41, number 3, Dec. 2008
Zinsser, William, ed, Inventing the Truth: The Art and Craft of Memoir (New York: Houghton Mifflin Company, 1998)
Implosion Synopsis:
Implosion: A Memoir of an Architect’s Daughter, focuses on how her family was caught in a collision between modern architecture, radical social change, and madness in the turbulent 1960s and 1970s in Cincinnati. It delves into the life of visionary architect Woodie Garber and the collision of forces in the turbulent 1970s that caused his family to collapse. Soon after the family’s move into Woodie’s glass house, his need to control begins to strain normal bonds; and Elizabeth’s first love, a young black man, triggers his until-then hidden racism. This haunting memoir describes his descent into madness and follows Elizabeth’s inspiring journey to emerge from her abuse, gain understanding and freedom from her father’s control, and go on to become a loving mother and a healer who helps others.
Available on Amazon, Indiegogo, and Barnes and Noble and can be ordered at your local independent bookstore.
Author’s Bio:
Elizabeth W. Garber is the author of Implosion: A Memoir of an Architect’s Daughter (2018) and three books of poetry, and Maine (Island Time) (2013), a collaboration of her poetry and essays with paintings and photographs by Michael Weymouth. Three of her poems have been read on NPR’s The Writer’s Almanac. She received a MFA in creative nonfiction from University of Southern Maine’s Stonecoast Masters Program. She was awarded writing fellowships at Virginia Center for Creative Arts and Jentel Artist Residency Program in Wyoming. She has maintained a private practice as an acupuncturist for over thirty years in Belfast, Maine.
Elizabeth can be reached at: www.elizabethgarber.com
And https://www.facebook.com/ElizabethGarberWriter/
***
Thank you Elizabeth for these valuable tips and resources about memoir writing.
***
How about you? How do you approach memoir writing?
We’d love to hear from you. Please join in the conversation below~
***
This Week:
June 2018 Newsletter-Monthly updates, Memoir Musings and Max Moments:
“Garden as Metaphor for Life”
If you are interested in receiving these monthly updates in your inbox, please sign up in the right side bar. I’d love to have you along!
Next Week:
Monday, 7/2/46:
“The Magic of Memories”
June 18, 2018
Our Stories Endure: A Memoir Moment
Posted by Kathleen Pooler/@kathypooler with Susan Weidener/@sweideheart
“I don’t think everyone wants to create the great American novel, but we all have a dream to telling our stories—of realizing what we think, feel, and see before we die. Writing is a path to meet ourselves and become intimate.” ~ Natalie Goldberg, Writing Down the Bones: Freeing the Writer Within.
Photo Credit; Jewish Tucson.org
Our Stories Endure: A Memoir Moment
We all have a book inside of us—a narrative about who we are and where we fit into the world. Writing a memoir is one way of putting our stories into words for touching and inspiring others.
But why would I want to expose the details of my personal life and the lives of others who played a key role in my story and how can I work around my family when telling my truths?
These are the questions that came up when my good friend and writing colleague Susan Weidener visited me last week and we hosted a Memoir Reading at The Amsterdam Free Library.
Photo Credit; Amsterdam Free Library
This is how we addressed it.
Why I Write Memoir:
Speaking for myself, the decision to write my memoir, Ever Faithful to His Lead: My Journey Away From Emotional Abuse, was a personal one requiring self-exploration and honesty about my personal narrative.
It was something I felt in my bones.
What was it like?
Solitary. Painful. Awkward. Exhilarating. Fulfilling. Frustrating. Sweaty. Mind-boggling. Life-affirming. Scary. Empowering. Healing. Transformational…
Writers have an unwritten contract with potential readers to give voice to their own life experiences in a way that engages, entertains, inspires, educates and helps readers connect with their own life experiences.
Writing my memoir was transformational for me because facing my past mistakes helped me shed the guilt and shame I held deep within myself for twenty-five years. I was able to forgive the people in my life whom I felt had hurt me but, perhaps most important, I was able to forgive myself.
Writing my memoir helped me to heal. I found my truths and stood firmly in them. The process, as grueling as it was, helped me transform my personal narrative, the story I tell myself about myself.
But How Do I Deal with My Family When Writing the Truth of My Story?
Memoir writers have the unenviable tasks of breaking through the family myths to get to the heart of their stories and the people who populate them.
“Understanding family myths, the legends, and the truth of our stories is at the heart of the writer’s task and by doing so we lessen the load, not just on ourselves, but on others.”
We discussed seeking out legal counsel, changing names and identifying information, including a disclosure statement at the beginning of the book to claim that the story is the author’s best recollection of the memories and does not represent another’s recollection and, when possible, involving family members in the process of writing the story.
Writers have to decide, based on their individual circumstances, if the benefit of writing their truths outweighs the risks of offending or alienating family members.
Here are a few select resources for writing about family in memoir:
Family Trouble: Memoirists on the Hazards and Rewards of Revealing Family (2013) by Joy Castro
“How to Tell Your Family That You’re Writing a Memoir” by Neal Thompson on Literary Hub Blog.
“Writing About Family in Memoir: Fairness Counts” by Lisa Romeo on The Writer’s Circle Blog.
“Family Myths and the Memoir Writer” by Susan Weidener on Book Club Babble Blog.
Our Stories Endure…
Susan and I read excerpts from our memoirs. Susan published her first memoir, Again in a Heartbeat, in 2010 and I published mine in 2014. Yet, our stories still have relevance today.
Susan Weidener is the author of five books, two memoirs, one novel and two anthologies. She read excerpts from Again in a Heartbeat and her novel, Portrait of Love and Honor, which included passages from her late husband’s memoir.
I read excerpts from my memoir and from My Gutsy Story anthology. The story in the anthology is a key chapter in my work-in-progress memoir, Daring to Hope: One Mother’s Story of Healing From Cancer and Her Son’s Alcohol Addiction
Memoir writing has the transformational potential when the reader sees his or her own story reflected in the experience of others.
***
Your life story matters. It not only deserves to be told, it begs to be told and you are the only one who can tell it.
If you don’t tell your story, who will?
***
Making new memories…
Everyday life offers fodder for stories, too. You know the saying that if you want to explore your town, wait until you have a guest. I’ve been wanting to check out the new walkway over the Mohawk River that opened a year ago. Susan’s visit was a perfect opportunity.
We drove to Riverlink Park and walked along the river until we saw the bridge and walkway.
Then we came upon the walkway, checking out the historical markers indicating our rich Native American history, an oyster shell factory and various bits of information that enlightened me about the area. I know, I really should get out more often!
Just two good friend walking and talking –one enjoying learning about a new area, the other finding new reasons to love the area in which she lives.
We shared new memories which perhaps will be incorporated into another story some day.
I know social media can be both a blessing and a curse but the bottom line for me is that it has been another way to establish meaningful connections with others. Susan and I met in a Linked In discussion group in 2010 and have been following each other ever since. I have had the pleasure of meeting Susan in person and attending The Women’s Writing Circle which she founded and facilitates and can attest to the fact that it is a safe and nurturing place to find your voice as a woman writer.
Yes, our stories endure, both the ones we’ve already written and the ones we will write.
Our stories are our gifts to ourselves and each other. It’s time to write them and share them. What are you waiting for?
***
How about you? Do you have a story deep in your core that you have to tell? How do you approach writing about family? What’s keeping you from sharing it?
We’d love to hear from you. Please join in the conversation below~
***
Next Week:
Monday, 6/25/18:
“I Couldn’t Put It Down! What Makes a Memoir Compelling? by Elizabeth Garber.”
Elizabeth is the author of Implosion: A Memoir of an Architect’s Daughter, a riveting story of an adoring daughter struggling to escape the dominance of her brilliant, charismatic father.
June 2018 Newsletter: Updates, Memoir Musings and Max Moments.
If you are interested in receiving this monthly newsletter in your inbox, please sign up in the right side bar. I’d love to have you along.
June 11, 2018
Reading, Writing and TabooTopics by Memoirist Nancy Richards
Posted by Kathleen Pooler/@kathypooler with Nancy Richards
Whenever I see a taboo, I just think that’s something we need to drag screaming out into the light and discuss. Because taboos are where our fears live, and taboos are the things that keep us tiny. Particularly for women.—Caitlin Moran
I am pleased to have Memoirist Nancy Richards return to share the story behind her second memoir, Mother, It’s Hard to Forgive You. In Nancy’s first memoir, Mother, I Don’t Forgive You, highlighted in this post “Standing In My Truth”, she explores the need to take time to heal from an abusive childhood at the hands of her mother before forgiving her. In her new memoir, she takes it one step further to share how she reached a point of being able to forgive her mother, while ridding herself of the family scapegoat mantle, showing us how the journey of healing often occurs in stages.
My reviews of Mother, It’s Hard to Forgive You can be found on Amazon, Goodreads, LibraryThings and Riffle Books.
Welcome back, Nancy!
Memoirist Nancy Richards
Reading, Writing and Taboo Topics
I remember the day I fell in love with the written word. It was the moment Mrs. Links, my third-grade teacher, cracked open Charlotte’s Web and introduced me to the troubled yet triumphant life of an emotional little pig named Wilber and his compassionate spider friend, Charlotte.
At the time, I had just lost my beloved father to a brain aneurysm. Before I could even catch my breath, my dad was replaced by a new man who along with my mother created an unfamiliar, dark world that I could never have imagined.
As she read aloud, Mrs. Links offered me a refuge where creatures shared caring relationships that included emotional connections and who strengthened one another in the midst of trial and triumph. From that day forward, I continued to seek out books that shone a light on the deep recesses of my wounded mind.
By the time I reached adulthood and I was ready to deal with my own trauma, child abuse was only beginning to be publicly acknowledged. And yet, I watched the backlash that erupted after the release of the bold and controversial 1978 book, Mommy Dearest, by Christina Crawford. The societal storm that followed her publication rocked me to my core.
I also had faced a backlash when I began telling people my story of abuse and betrayal. The “bad mommy taboo” hit me square in the gut! People responded to me with statements that ranged from, “You only have one mother.”, or “Why can’t you just forgive, forget, and accept your mother for who she is?”, or “You should not say bad things about your mother. I don’t believe the things you talk about happened.”, to “I don’t understand why you don’t get along with your mother. She seems nice to me.”, and “You’ll live to regret making negative remarks about your mother. What’s past is past…” But my experiences were not in the past. All the responsibility for a normal relationship with my mother was portrayed as one-sided; the blame for our damaged bond was mine and mine alone.
It was plain to me that telling others I had an abusive mother, or challenging the expectation to forgive too soon, and later openly admitting that I was estranged from my entire family were all taboo subjects.
So what do we do when the mother-daughter bond is broken by abuse and betrayal? How do we heal when talking about our trauma is forbidden? How do we find validating stories when the subject matter is taboo?
When I set out to heal from the past, my frustration at not finding the information I needed was piercing. The isolation I felt gave me the sense that I was the only one who lived the kind of trauma I endured. After years of blazing my own healing trail, I felt compelled to lighten the load for other survivors by sharing my story. It wasn’t until I mustered the courage to write publicly about these taboo subjects that I realized I wasn’t the only one who had an abusive mother or agonized over the embarrassment and rejection of estrangement. And, although I was certain there were other survivors who also suffered from the damaging effects of forced forgiveness, I had no idea how many people were searching for the validation they needed to set aside forgiveness so they could heal.
After the first edition of Mother, I Don’t Forgive You came out in 2005, a reviewer opened his analysis with his definition of scapegoating. In a couple of short sentences, he clearly explained and labeled a concept I’d spent years trying to describe. What a relief!
As a young adult, I used to refer to myself as a scapegoat, but I couldn’t succinctly describe to others what the term meant. The reviewer not only defined the expression, but he also validated that scapegoating was a universally recognized behavior and gave me the gift that I was not alone in my experience! These realizations helped me heal at a deeper level and aided me in writing, Mother, It’s Hard to Forgive You: Ridding Myself of the Family Scapegoat Mantle.
A scapegoat is a person or animal which takes on the sins of others, or is unfairly blamed for problems. The concept originally comes from Leviticus, in which a goat is designated to be cast into the desert with the sins of the community. Other ancient societies had similar practices. In psychology and sociology, the practice of selecting someone as a scapegoat has led to the concept of scapegoating.
― William Holman Hunt, 1854
Although sharing my story often feels vulnerable, I am very grateful whenever someone reaches out to let me know that my story helped them heal, or when someone such as the reviewer offers me a moment of clarity. Years of healing helped me articulate my story and writing my story helped me heal some more.
In many ways, the cycle of healing and writing, then writing from a more healed place, and back again, gives me the opportunity to turn my negative experiences into positive ones by advocating for other survivors. Offering hope, empathy, and validation to others is not only helpful to them but also soothes my soul as we connect in our mutual humanity.
When our society holds on too tight to sacred belief systems—without ever questioning the merit of those systems—we weaken those beliefs. Sometimes questioning or even dismantling sacred beliefs such as forgiveness, motherhood, and holding the family together at all costs can, over time, rebuild and strengthen those same belief systems.
Boldly writing about topics considered taboo can break those taboos and connect the writer and the reader in healing ways that can only come from sharing our stories.
***
Thank you Nancy for having the courage to acknowledge the abuse you endured and for sharing your healing story so that others who suffer abuse can know they are not alone; healing from abuse is possible.
***
Book Synopsis:
What happens when the mother-daughter bond is broken by betrayal?
After a childhood plagued with physical and emotional violence and a fourteen-year estrangement from her entire family, Nancy Richards discovers herself at a crossroads. The mother she had both loved and feared as a child reached her by telephone to offer an apology for her abuse and to express a desire for reconciliation.
As she looks into the rearview mirror of her life and at the horrors inflicted by her mother, Nancy must decide whether to risk the safety of her present life or remain an orphan of circumstances. Is there really any reason to go back for more?
Richards takes the reader on an emotional and inspirational journey offering hope that healing from violence in families may be possible.
This is Book 2 of a two-book series. The other book in the series is “Mother, I Don’t Forgive You: A Necessary Alternative for Healing.” This volume also works well as a stand-alone book.
About the Author:
Nancy Richards is an adult survivor of childhood abuse, the lucky mother of two engaging adult daughters, and the grandmother of one energetic grandson. She is a retired businesswoman and former co-owner of a large wholesale food processing company in Seattle. Along with her husband, Richards makes her home in the greater Seattle area at the foot of the Pacific Northwest’s great outdoors.
***
How about you? How do you handle taboo topics?
We’d love to hear from you. Please join in the conversation below~
***
Next Week:
Monday, June 18, 2018:
“Our Stories Endure: A Memoir Moment”
June 7, 2018
Writing Authentically About Difficult or Painful Topics by Wendy Brown-Baez : A WOW Blog Tour
Posted by Kathleen Pooler/@kathypooler with Wendy Brown-Baez/@wendybrownbaez
Welcome to Wendy Brown-Baez’s WOW Blog tour for her new book, Catch a Dream, the fictional story of a woman’s healing journey from her homeland in war-torn Palestine to Israel.Today she will share her thoughts on writing authentically about difficult or painful topics.
Welcome, Wendy!
[image error] Author Wendy Brown-Baez
Writing Authentically About Difficult or Painful Topics
Where do we find the courage to tackle difficult topics? How can we remain vulnerable and transparent on the page while writing about painful memories? As a writer and as a writer instructor, I have noticed several things.
If we write about what is most urgent for us, it is inevitable we will tap into hurtful memories . Here is where we dig for gold, the stories that will resonate with others and where we can produce our more profoundly authentic work. Know that.
Practice writing in short spurts of spontaneous writing , using prompts, images, or things you obsess about and let the story you are compelled to tell surface. Read poetry to tap into the subconscious. Record your dreams. Journal about your writing process.
It is important to feel safe when we share . Choose a writing group or critiquing group carefully. When I lead writing workshops, we do not critique and only give positive feedback at first. We only proceed to critiquing if the participants want to publish. I share my own writing to create an atmosphere of intimacy.
It is okay to write crappy writing. Let go of expectations.
Consider the purpose : is it for self-awareness and healing or do you intend it for an audience? Ask yourself if you are ready professionally to receive a critique to improve your work.
If you are writing for healing, how will you explore the negative aspects of your experience? What I have learned is that you can go deeper and deeper into the story of what happened to you or you can take the branch of what did you learn, what does it mean, and how have you changed? Write about not only the trauma, but the healing story: your resilience, courage, and transformation. Be aware that you have changed in attitude, awareness or understanding. If you are writing fiction, you do not have to include it into the story but know it is there. Another idea is to write past the ending…for your eyes alone.
Sometimes we are writing what I call Big stories: stories that others don’t have the courage or the talent or the inclination to put into words. These include topics such as domestic abuse, incest, injustice, racism, war, incarceration, suicide, illness, bullying, gender orientation, rape, mental illness, and so on. If you are voicing a truth that is powerful and empowering, can that help get you over the fear of reawakened hurt?
Practice in short stories, poems and essays. Try sharing them at an open mic at a friendly atmosphere such as a coffeehouse. Sometimes we are not aware of how much our stories are appreciated or how they will impact others. Develop confidence in your voice.
Take care of yourself: Speak with a counselor or friend, take deep breaths, stretch or do yoga, meditate or pray, sing, create positive affirmations, laugh, read something inspiring, make art
Other possibilities to get out of your head and into your heart:
write a letter to someone you admire, expressing your admiration and gratitude
write a letter to someone in your writing world (a writing partner, an imaginary agent or editor, a writer you admire) explaining what you are working on and your intended goals
write a letter to a reader, explaining why you need to write your story
If the material is too hard to write, write in third person and/or turn it into fiction
Sometimes we need to the distance of third person to get our emotions on the page. Turning it fiction will give us permission to explore other points of view and perspectives.
Positive affirmations: I am a big believer in them. I have them posted on my computer, over my desk, on my fridge, on my table altar, in my notebooks, and I pause to repeat them every day. They uplift my spirits and help strengthen my belief that my work matters.
***
Thank you Wendy for sharing these wise and practical tips for facing painful topics on the page.
Book Summary
[image error]A woman’s healing journey begins in a country embroiled in relentless turmoil. In Israel, the first Intifada has just begun. Palestinian frustration for a homeland erupts in strikes, demonstrations and suicide bombings and Israel responds with tear gas, arrests, and house demolitions. Lily Ambrosia and Rainbow Dove arrive in Haifa with their children on a pilgrimage to sow seeds of peace. Lily’s fascination with Jewish culture inspires her to dream she can plant roots in the Holy Land. She falls in love with the land itself, with its people, and with Levi, a charming enigma, dangerous but irresistible. Eventually she is fully immersed in Israeli life, earning her way as a nanny, hanging out in cafes with friends, and attending Yom Kippur in the synagogue. Her son rebels against the lifestyle she has chosen and war with Syria looms on the horizon. Will she be able to stay? What does she have to give up and what will she be able to keep?
Print Length: 196 pages
Genre: Literary Fiction
Publisher: BookBaby (March 24, 2018)
ISBN-13: 9781543925579
Catch a Dream is available as an eBook at BookBaby and Amazon .
About the Author
Wendy Brown-Báez is the author of a poetry CD Longing for Home, the full-length poetry collection Ceremonies of the Spirit (Plain View Press, ’09), and chapbooks: transparencies of light (Finishing Line Press, ’11) and Elegy for Newtown (Red Bird Chapbooks, ’14). She has published both poetry and prose in numerous literary journals and anthologies, both in print and on-line. She received McKnight, Mn State Arts Board and Saint Louis Park Arts & Culture grants to bring writing workshops into non-profits and community centers.
Wendy has facilitated writing workshops since 1994 including at Cornerstone’s support groups, the Women & Spirituality conference at MSU Mankato, Celebrate Yourself women’s retreats, All About the Journey healing center, The Aliveness Project, Unity Minneapolis, El Colegio High School and Jacob’s Well women’s retreat. Wendy received 2008 and 2009 McKnight grants through COMPAS Community Art Program to teach writing workshops for youth in crisis. The project at SafeZone and Face to Face Academy developed into an art installation showcasing their recorded writings. When it was noted that students’ reading scores improved, she was hired as Face to Face’s writing instructor.
In 2012 she was awarded a MN State Arts Board Artist Initiative grant to teach writing workshops in twelve non-profit arts and human service organizations. She continues to teach at Pathways: a healing center, in Mn prisons, and in community spaces such as public libraries, yoga studios, churches, and cafes.
Wendy has taught memoir at MCTC continuing ed and through Minneapolis community ed.
In addition, Wendy has managed shelters for the homeless and visited incarcerated teens. She is trained as a hospice volunteer and as a facilitator of Monologue Life Stories. Wendy studied alternative healing, ceremony, and spiritual traditions with Earthwalks for Health and lived in Mexico and Israel. She has collected wisdom teachings from these diverse cultures, as well as written memoirs of her adventures.
You can find Wendy Brown-Baez at:
Website: www.wendybrownbaez.com
Blog: www.wendysmuse.blogspot.com
Twitter: www.twitter.com/wendybrownbaez
GoodReads: www.goodreads.com/wendybrownbaez
Facebook: www.facebook.com/wendybrownbaez.author
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/wendybrownbaez
***
How about you? How do you find your authentic voice? How do you write about difficult or painful topics?
We’d love to hear from you. Please join in the conversation below~
***
Next Week:
Monday, 6/11/18:
”Reading, Writing and Taboo Topics by Memoirist Nancy Richards.
Nancy is the author of Mother, I Don’t Forgive You and a sequel, Mother, It’s Hard to Forgive You: Ridding Myself of the Family Scapegoat Mantle.
***
WOWBlog Tour Dates (in Chronological Order)
May 21st @ The Muffin
Grab a muffin and a cup of coffee and read Women on Writing’s interview with author Wendy Brown-Baez and enter to win a copy of the book Catch a Dream.
http://muffin.wow-womenonwriting.com/
May 22nd @ Memory Revolution
Jerry Waxler relates to the main character in To Catch a Dream as if she was a real person. His post reflects on lessons learned in this fertile ground between “memoir” and “fiction-based-on-fact.
May 23rd @ World of My Imagination
Exercise your imagination over at Nicole’s blog The World of My Imagination where she reviews Wendy Brown-Baez’ bookCatch a Dream.
http://theworldofmyimagination.blogspot.com
May 24th @ Jill Sheet’s Blog
Make sure to stop by Jill Sheet’s blog to read Wendy Brown-Baez fascinating guest post on conflict and peace. The author answers the question – is peace possible without forgiveness?
https://jillsheets.blogspot.com/
May 24th @ Rebecca Whitman’s Blog
You should also stop by Rebecca Whitman’s blog where Wendy Brown-Baez talks about free spirits and belonging. What if home is not where we come from but where we feel we belong? What are we willing to give up to stay?
https://rebeccawhitman.wordpress.com/
May 25th @ Margo Dill’s Blog
Come by Margo Dill’s blog to catch another guest post by author Wendy Brown-Baez. This moving post is about motherhood and how can we be a good parent and yet fulfilled as a woman?
May 26th @ Mommy Daze: Say What??
Come by Ashley Bass’ blog to check out Wendy Brown-Baez guest post on trauma and healing. How can we stand up for ourselves? How can we reclaim our voice when we have been silenced by trauma?
https://adayinthelifeofmom.com/
May 27 @ Beverly A. Baird’s Blog
Make sure to stop by Beverly’s blog to find out her thoughts about Wendy Brown-Baez book Catch a Dream.
https://beverleyabaird.wordpress.com
May 22nd @ Memory Revolution
In a second post, Jerry Waxler will share Wendy Baez’s own words about the choices she made to publish her true life story as a fictional novel.
May 29th @ Mari’s #JustJournal! Blog
Stop by Mari’s blog to read Wendy Brown-Baez guest post on journaling and self-reflecting writing. A must-read if you love freewriting or journaling!
http://www.createwritenow.com/journal-writing-blog
May 30th @ Story Teller Alley
Come by Veronica’s Story Teller Alley blog and find out how Wendy Brown-Baez book came to be in the Story Teller Alley feature “Where Do Stories Grow?”
http://storytelleralley.com/blog
June 1st @ Words from the Heart
Come by Rev. Linda Naes’ blog to read Wendy Brown-Baez guest post on the topic loving someone who is not good for us.
https://contemplativeed.blogspot.com/
June 2nd @ McNellis Writes
Come by Margaret’s blog when she shares Wendy Brown-Baez guest post on the subject of travelling in countries during times of unrest.
June 3rd @ Margo Dill’s Blog
Stop by Margo’s blog where she reviews Wendy Brown-Baez book Catch a Dream.
June 4th @ Mommy Daze: Say What??
Come by Ashley Bass’ blog and find out her thoughts on the moving book Catch a Dream.
https://adayinthelifeofmom.com/
June 5th @ Madeline Sharples’ Blog
Take a look at Wendy Brown-Baez guest post over at Madeline Sharples’ blog where the author talks about writing to heal. A must read during these troubled times!
June 7th @ Memoir Writer’s Journey
Stop by Kathleen’s blog where she shares Wendy Brown-Baez guest post on writing authentically about difficult or painful topics.
June 8th @ Words from the Heart
Take a heartwarming journey over at Rev Linda Naes’ blog Words from the Heart to find out her thoughts on Wendy Brown-Baez book Catch a Dream.
https://contemplativeed.blogspot.com/
June 14th @ Become Zen Again
Come by Shell’s blog Become Zen Again where she shares her opinions on Wendy Brown-Baez moving book Catch a Dream.
http://www.becomezenagain.com/the-book-shelf
June 18th @ Strength 4 Spouses
Stop by Wendi Huskin’s blog Strength 4 Spouses where she shares Wendy Brown-Baez guest post on writing to heal.
June 22nd @ Strength 4 Spouses
Stop by Wendi Huskin’s blog where she shares her thoughts on the book Catch a Dream. A must read for your upcoming summer vacation!
***
June 6, 2018
Writing Authentically About Difficult or Painful Topics by Wendy Brown-Baez : A WOW Blog Tour
Posted by Kathleen Pooler/@kathypooler with Wendy Brown-Baez/@wendybrownbaez
Welcome to Wendy Brown-Baez’s WOW Blog tour for her new book, Catch a Dream, the fictional story of a woman’s healing journey from her homeland in war-torn Palestine to Israel.Today she will share her thoughts on writing authentically about difficult or painful topics.
Welcome, Wendy!
Author Wendy Brown-Baez
Writing Authentically About Difficult or Painful Topics
Where do we find the courage to tackle difficult topics? How can we remain vulnerable and transparent on the page while writing about painful memories? As a writer and as a writer instructor, I have noticed several things.
If we write about what is most urgent for us, it is inevitable we will tap into hurtful memories. Here is where we dig for gold, the stories that will resonate with others and where we can produce our more profoundly authentic work. Know that.
Practice writing in short spurts of spontaneous writing , using prompts, images, or things you obsess about and let the story you are compelled to tell surface. Read poetry to tap into the subconscious. Record your dreams. Journal about your writing process.
It is important to feel safe when we share . Choose a writing group or critiquing group carefully. When I lead writing workshops, we do not critique and only give positive feedback at first. We only proceed to critiquing if the participants want to publish. I share my own writing to create an atmosphere of intimacy.
It is okay to write crappy writing. Let go of expectations.
Consider the purpose : is it for self-awareness and healing or do you intend it for an audience? Ask yourself if you are ready professionally to receive a critique to improve your work.
If you are writing for healing, how will you explore the negative aspects of your experience? What I have learned is that you can go deeper and deeper into the story of what happened to you or you can take the branch of what did you learn, what does it mean, and how have you changed? Write about not only the trauma, but the healing story: your resilience, courage, and transformation. Be aware that you have changed in attitude, awareness or understanding. If you are writing fiction, you do not have to include it into the story but know it is there. Another idea is to write past the ending…for your eyes alone.
Sometimes we are writing what I call Big stories: stories that others don’t have the courage or the talent or the inclination to put into words . These include topics such as domestic abuse, incest, injustice, racism, war, incarceration, suicide, illness, bullying, gender orientation, rape, mental illness, and so on. If you are voicing a truth that is powerful and empowering, can that help get you over the fear of reawakened hurt?
P ractice in short stories, poems and essays . Try sharing them at an open mic at a friendly atmosphere such as a coffeehouse. Sometimes we are not aware of how much our stories are appreciated or how they will impact others. Develop confidence in your voice.
Take care of yourself: Speak with a counselor or friend, take deep breaths, stretch or do yoga, meditate or pray, sing, create positive affirmations, laugh, read something inspiring, make art
Other possibilities to get out of your head and into your heart:
write a letter to someone you admire, expressing your admiration and gratitude
write a letter to someone in your writing world (a writing partner, an imaginary agent or editor, a writer you admire) explaining what you are working on and your intended goals
write a letter to a reader, explaining why you need to write your story
If the material is too hard to write, write in third person and/or turn it into fiction
Sometimes we need to the distance of third person to get our emotions on the page. Turning it fiction will give us permission to explore other points of view and perspectives.
Positive affirmations: I am a big believer in them. I have them posted on my computer, over my desk, on my fridge, on my table altar, in my notebooks, and I pause to repeat them every day. They uplift my spirits and help strengthen my belief that my work matters.
Other possibilities to get out of your head and into your heart:
write a letter to someone you admire, expressing your admiration and gratitude
write a letter to someone in your writing world (a writing partner, an imaginary agent or editor, a writer you admire) explaining what you are working on and your intended goals
write a letter to a reader, explaining why you need to write your story
If the material is too hard to write, write in third person and/or turn it into fiction
Sometimes we need to the distance of third person to get our emotions on the page. Turning it fiction will give us permission to explore other points of view and perspectives.
Positive affirmations: I am a big believer in them. I have them posted on my computer, over my desk, on my fridge, on my table altar, in my notebooks, and I pause to repeat them every day. They uplift my spirits and help strengthen my belief that my work matters.
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Thank you,Wendy, for sharing these valuable tips for writing about difficult or painful topics.
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Book Summary
A woman’s healing journey begins in a country embroiled in relentless turmoil. In Israel, the first Intifada has just begun. Palestinian frustration for a homeland erupts in strikes, demonstrations and suicide bombings and Israel responds with tear gas, arrests, and house demolitions. Lily Ambrosia and Rainbow Dove arrive in Haifa with their children on a pilgrimage to sow seeds of peace. Lily’s fascination with Jewish culture inspires her to dream she can plant roots in the Holy Land. She falls in love with the land itself, with its people, and with Levi, a charming enigma, dangerous but irresistible. Eventually she is fully immersed in Israeli life, earning her way as a nanny, hanging out in cafes with friends, and attending Yom Kippur in the synagogue. Her son rebels against the lifestyle she has chosen and war with Syria looms on the horizon. Will she be able to stay? What does she have to give up and what will she be able to keep?
Print Length: 196 pages
Genre: Literary Fiction
Publisher: BookBaby (March 24, 2018)
ISBN-13: 9781543925579
Catch a Dream is available as an eBook at BookBaby and Amazon .
About the Author
Wendy Brown-Báez is the author of a poetry CD Longing for Home, the full-length poetry collection Ceremonies of the Spirit (Plain View Press, ’09), and chapbooks: transparencies of light (Finishing Line Press, ’11) and Elegy for Newtown (Red Bird Chapbooks, ’14). She has published both poetry and prose in numerous literary journals and anthologies, both in print and on-line. She received McKnight, Mn State Arts Board and Saint Louis Park Arts & Culture grants to bring writing workshops into non-profits and community centers.
Wendy has facilitated writing workshops since 1994 including at Cornerstone’s support groups, the Women & Spirituality conference at MSU Mankato, Celebrate Yourself women’s retreats, All About the Journey healing center, The Aliveness Project, Unity Minneapolis, El Colegio High School and Jacob’s Well women’s retreat. Wendy received 2008 and 2009 McKnight grants through COMPAS Community Art Program to teach writing workshops for youth in crisis. The project at SafeZone and Face to Face Academy developed into an art installation showcasing their recorded writings. When it was noted that students’ reading scores improved, she was hired as Face to Face’s writing instructor.
In 2012 she was awarded a MN State Arts Board Artist Initiative grant to teach writing workshops in twelve non-profit arts and human service organizations. She continues to teach at Pathways: a healing center, in Mn prisons, and in community spaces such as public libraries, yoga studios, churches, and cafes.
Wendy has taught memoir at MCTC continuing ed and through Minneapolis community ed.
In addition, Wendy has managed shelters for the homeless and visited incarcerated teens. She is trained as a hospice volunteer and as a facilitator of Monologue Life Stories. Wendy studied alternative healing, ceremony, and spiritual traditions with Earthwalks for Health and lived in Mexico and Israel. She has collected wisdom teachings from these diverse cultures, as well as written memoirs of her adventures.
You can find Wendy Brown-Baez at:
Website: www.wendybrownbaez.com
Blog: www.wendysmuse.blogspot.com
Twitter: www.twitter.com/wendybrownbaez
GoodReads: www.goodreads.com/wendybrownbaez
Facebook: www.facebook.com/wendybrownbaez.author
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/wendybrownbaez
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How about you? How do you find the strength to write about difficult or painful topics. Do you have any tips to add to Wendy’s suggestions? How do you find your authentic voice?
We’d love to hear from you. Please join in the conversation below~
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Next Week:
Monday, 6/11/18:
”Reading, Writing and Taboo Topics by Memoirist Nancy Richards.
Nancy is the author of Mother, I Don’t Forgive You and a sequel, Mother, It’s Hard to Forgive You: Ridding Myself of the Family Scapegoat Mantle.
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WOW Blog Tour Dates (in Chronological Order)
May 21st @ The Muffin
Grab a muffin and a cup of coffee and read Women on Writing’s interview with author Wendy Brown-Baez and enter to win a copy of the book Catch a Dream.
http://muffin.wow-womenonwriting.com/
May 22nd @ Memory Revolution
Jerry Waxler relates to the main character in To Catch a Dream as if she was a real person. His post reflects on lessons learned in this fertile ground between “memoir” and “fiction-based-on-fact.
May 23rd @ World of My Imagination
Exercise your imagination over at Nicole’s blog The World of My Imagination where she reviews Wendy Brown-Baez’ bookCatch a Dream.
http://theworldofmyimagination.blogspot.com
May 24th @ Jill Sheet’s Blog
Make sure to stop by Jill Sheet’s blog to read Wendy Brown-Baez fascinating guest post on conflict and peace. The author answers the question – is peace possible without forgiveness?
https://jillsheets.blogspot.com/
May 24th @ Rebecca Whitman’s Blog
You should also stop by Rebecca Whitman’s blog where Wendy Brown-Baez talks about free spirits and belonging. What if home is not where we come from but where we feel we belong? What are we willing to give up to stay?
https://rebeccawhitman.wordpress.com/
May 25th @ Margo Dill’s Blog
Come by Margo Dill’s blog to catch another guest post by author Wendy Brown-Baez. This moving post is about motherhood and how can we be a good parent and yet fulfilled as a woman?
May 26th @ Mommy Daze: Say What??
Come by Ashley Bass’ blog to check out Wendy Brown-Baez guest post on trauma and healing. How can we stand up for ourselves? How can we reclaim our voice when we have been silenced by trauma?
https://adayinthelifeofmom.com/
May 27 @ Beverly A. Baird’s Blog
Make sure to stop by Beverly’s blog to find out her thoughts about Wendy Brown-Baez book Catch a Dream.
https://beverleyabaird.wordpress.com
May 22nd @ Memory Revolution
In a second post, Jerry Waxler will share Wendy Baez’s own words about the choices she made to publish her true life story as a fictional novel.
May 29th @ Mari’s #JustJournal! Blog
Stop by Mari’s blog to read Wendy Brown-Baez guest post on journaling and self-reflecting writing. A must-read if you love freewriting or journaling!
http://www.createwritenow.com/journal-writing-blog
May 30th @ Story Teller Alley
Come by Veronica’s Story Teller Alley blog and find out how Wendy Brown-Baez book came to be in the Story Teller Alley feature “Where Do Stories Grow?”
http://storytelleralley.com/blog
June 1st @ Words from the Heart
Come by Rev. Linda Naes’ blog to read Wendy Brown-Baez guest post on the topic loving someone who is not good for us.
https://contemplativeed.blogspot.com/
June 2nd @ McNellis Writes
Come by Margaret’s blog when she shares Wendy Brown-Baez guest post on the subject of travelling in countries during times of unrest.
June 3rd @ Margo Dill’s Blog
Stop by Margo’s blog where she reviews Wendy Brown-Baez book Catch a Dream.
June 4th @ Mommy Daze: Say What??
Come by Ashley Bass’ blog and find out her thoughts on the moving book Catch a Dream.
https://adayinthelifeofmom.com/
June 5th @ Madeline Sharples’ Blog
Take a look at Wendy Brown-Baez guest post over at Madeline Sharples’ blog where the author talks about writing to heal. A must read during these troubled times!
June 7th @ Memoir Writer’s Journey
Stop by Kathleen’s blog where she shares Wendy Brown-Baez guest post on writing authentically about difficult or painful topics.
June 8th @ Words from the Heart
Take a heartwarming journey over at Rev Linda Naes’ blog Words from the Heart to find out her thoughts on Wendy Brown-Baez book Catch a Dream.
https://contemplativeed.blogspot.com/
June 14th @ Become Zen Again
Come by Shell’s blog Become Zen Again where she shares her opinions on Wendy Brown-Baez moving book Catch a Dream.
http://www.becomezenagain.com/the-book-shelf
June 18th @ Strength 4 Spouses
Stop by Wendi Huskin’s blog Strength 4 Spouses where she shares Wendy Brown-Baez guest post on writing to heal.
June 22nd @ Strength 4 Spouses
Stop by Wendi Huskin’s blog where she shares her thoughts on the book Catch a Dream. A must read for your upcoming summer vacation!
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June 4, 2018
How Reading Fiction is Helping Me Write My Memoir
Posted by Kathleen Pooler/@kathypooler
“A memoir is my version of events. My perspective. I choose what to tell and what to omit. I choose the adjectives to describe a situation, and in that sense, I’m creating a form of fiction. “~ Isabel Allende
How Reading Fiction is Helping Me Write My Memoir
One of my greatest struggles in writing a memoir which spans twenty-five years is to balance scenic details with narrative summary. Key moments are highlighted in scenes but there are stretches of time that need to be summarized and condensed. They all need to feed into the overarching theme of the story which , in my case, is :
Hope steps in when a mother’s love for an addicted child is not enough.
A memoir needs to read like novel…
So I decided to refresh my brain with the fiction techniques that draw me into a story.
I turned to the masters…
The recent death of acclaimed novelist Tom Wolfe piqued my interest in his work and I checked out one of his novels from the library, I Am Charlotte Simons (2004) . Since the seven-hundred and thirty-eight pages was intimidating, I sat down to read the first few pages to see if it was worth my time.
And I kept reading for thirty more pages. After I returned home, I found myself looking forward to getting back to it. While every writer has their own voice and you can’t really teach another person how to write, I knew there was something I could learn about storytelling that would help me with my memoir.
After one hundred and fifty pages I not only committed to finishing this book but reading it reinforced the lessons for my own writing.
What is it about his writing that makes me want to keep turning the pages?
*The story starts with action and appeals to the senses. Here’s the first sentence of the prologue:
Every time the men’s-room door opened, the amped -up onslaught of Swarm, the band banging out the concert in the theater overhead, came crashing in, richocheting off all the mirrors and ceramic surfaces until it seemed twice as loud.
*The prose is descriptive and free-flowing.
It was a mild May night, with a pleasant breeze and a full moon whose light created just enough of a gloaming to reveal the singular, wavelike roof of the theatre, known officially here at the university as the Phipps Opera House, one of the architect Eero Saarinen’s famous 1950s modern creations.
*He reveals the characters through sensory details and makes me care about them. In this case, the protagonist, Charlotte Simmons is at her high school graduation preparing to deliver her valedictorian speech
The subject of all this attention sat in a wooden folding chair in the ranks of the senior class, her heart beating fast as a bird’s. It wasn’t that she was worried about the speech she was about to give. She had gone over it so many times,she had memorized and internalized it just the way she had all those lines when she played Bella in the school play, Gaslight. She was worried about two other matters entirely: her looks and her classmates.
*One hundred and fifty pages in, the plot slowly revealed itself in layers, while steadily building tension.
I know that sweet, book-smart, small-town Charlotte is headed to a major university, filled with streetwise, beer-drinking students who care more about sports and partying than about academics. A universal coming-of -age tale. The conflict is brewing.
As a post-script, I did get through the 738 pages, often times skipping over the details but by then I felt as if I knew these characters intimately. It brought home the point that the right amount of detail keeps the reader engaged.
How can a memoir use fiction techniques to draw in a reader?
Tobias Wolff brings me right into this scene in This Boy’s Life (p.136) when he begs his drunken step-father, Dwight, to slow down while driving:
“Please,Dwight,” I said
“Please,Dwight,” he said.
And then he took us through the turns above the river,tires wailing, headlights swinging between cliff and space, and the more we begged him the faster he went only slowing down for a breath after the really close calls, and then laughing to show he wasn’t afraid.”
His whole memoir is filled with action scenes like this that put me right in his skin and make me want to keep reading . I am not only with him in that backseat , I also have a vivid sense of Dwight’s character through his details. It is a great example of what novelist Gail Gaymer Martin notes in her article on Descriptive Scenes,that selecting the right amount of detail-not too much or too little-is important in building tension and moving the story along. Bringing the reader into the scene requires a careful selection of words and details at the right pace.
Andrew Peterson, author of First To Kill talks about how scenes advance the story. He describes his publishing journey,reinforcing the importance of never giving up. I really liked his reference to Joe Jackson’s quote from Field of Dreams,”If you build it, they will come” He shows how his persistence and multiple rewrites eventually paid off. That’s encouraging to me in the writer’s trenches attempting to find the right words, details and action to move my story along.
As I continue to write my story I focus on sensory details, the right words and the action that will keep my reader close to me in my scenes. In the meantime, I will keep building, so the readers will come
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How about you? What do you think moves a story along? For memoir writers,does reading fiction help you in writing memoir?
I’d love to hear from you. Please join in the conversation below~
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This Week:
Thursday, June 7, 2018:
“Writing Authentically About Difficult or Painful Topics by Wendy Brown-Baez: A WOW Blog Tour.”
Wendy is the author of Catch A Dream, the fictional story of a woman’s healing journey from her homeland in war-torn Palestine to Israel.
Next Week:
Monday, June 11, 2018:
“Reading , Writing and Taboo Topics by Memoirist Nancy Richards”
Nancy is the author of two memoirs about dealing with forgiveness after childhood abuse. Mother, I Don’t Forgive You and her most recent one, Mother , It’s Hard to Forgive You
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