Vaibhav Anand's Blog, page 14
April 20, 2015
Book Review: The Zoya Factor by Anuja Chauhan
I was somewhat surprised that I liked 'The Zoya Factor' so much. I expected to merely pass the time on a flight with the book; what ended up happening was that I was perhaps the only one not sleeping (or not trying to sleep) on a late night flight, completely hooked to Anuja Chauhan’s first.The story line and plot points can be predicable at times – Zoya’s love story, its ups and downs, India winning cricket matches (with a purely fictional ease) – but Chauhan’s very Delhi lingo and colorful characters help you forget the kinks in the plot. The characters are real and lively, with their own idiosyncrasies and that is what made ‘The Zoya Factor’ worth the read for me.
Recommended.
Book Review: The Brethren by John Grisham
John Grisham is perhaps the only author I know who has the capacity to write both masterpieces and books that deserve purely to be used as footrests/ shredded. 'The Brethren' is Grisham's first book that I know of that manages to tread middle ground. The story of three convicted ex-judges and a Presidential hopeful, 'The Brethren' starts off at hectic pace but manages to fizzle off at the very end. What it lacks sorely is one of Grisham's thoroughly entertaining courtroom scenes.
A purely airport read... even so, there are far better airport reads. Grisham most likely was writing to meet a deadline; not to tell a story he badly wanted to tell.
April 7, 2015
On numerologist’s advice, Arvind Kejriwal changes his name to ‘Aaaarrwindddd 13500.85’
Inspired by the events of the day. Satire.
Delhi: Delhi’s Chief Minister, Arvind Kejriwal, has become the first person in the world to have a
decimal point in his name, after changing his name to ‘Aaaarrwindddd 13500.85’. Sources within Aam Admi Party said that Arvind took the extreme step on the advice of his numerologist, whose advice he sought after the recent spate of controversies he had found himself embroiled in.
“All our calculations have been going haywire ever since Arvindji joined politics,” Pandit Tadapit Bhushan (unrelated to Prashant Bhushan), apparently Kejriwal’s personal numerologist said in a telephonic chat with this Faking News reporter. “The numbers and decimal point is the only way to give his career some balance,” he continued. “Otherwise, these episodes will keep happening.”
Defending Kejriwal’s decision to make his name rather ludicrous, Kumar Vishwas said, “Badal de jo rajneeti ke saam-daam, uska naam hai Aaaarrwindddd terah hazar paanch sau dashamlab aath paanch.”
Meanwhile Ashutosh tweeted, “Brest of lukk, Aaaaarwind!”
Delhi: Delhi’s Chief Minister, Arvind Kejriwal, has become the first person in the world to have a
decimal point in his name, after changing his name to ‘Aaaarrwindddd 13500.85’. Sources within Aam Admi Party said that Arvind took the extreme step on the advice of his numerologist, whose advice he sought after the recent spate of controversies he had found himself embroiled in.
“All our calculations have been going haywire ever since Arvindji joined politics,” Pandit Tadapit Bhushan (unrelated to Prashant Bhushan), apparently Kejriwal’s personal numerologist said in a telephonic chat with this Faking News reporter. “The numbers and decimal point is the only way to give his career some balance,” he continued. “Otherwise, these episodes will keep happening.”Defending Kejriwal’s decision to make his name rather ludicrous, Kumar Vishwas said, “Badal de jo rajneeti ke saam-daam, uska naam hai Aaaarrwindddd terah hazar paanch sau dashamlab aath paanch.”
Meanwhile Ashutosh tweeted, “Brest of lukk, Aaaaarwind!”
March 10, 2015
IIT researchers discover 25000 new ways of spelling “Aggarwal”
Inspired by the bevy of Aggarwals I have met! Satire!
New Delhi. A team of researchers at IIT Delhi has discovered 25000 new ways of spelling the surname “Aggarwal”. The researchers, led by Dr. Tadapit Kumar, had been working on a project to lower the cost of defense manufacturing when they got distracted by this subject and started working on it.
“It always troubled me ever since I was a young child as to how every Aggarwal that I met had a different spelling,” said Dr. Tadapit, the author of the report and leader of the research team, said.
“Sometimes they would use the letter ‘e’, sometimes ‘u’, sometimes ‘a’ for the ‘gar’ or ‘wal”. I even found a Bengali ‘Aggorwol’. And the output is much better than what we had found for the defence manufacturing thing – which was to basically import the final product from Israel,” he added.
Meanwhile, the Prime Minister lauded the effort as being in line with his “Make in India” scheme. The Congress was quick to denounce this and labelled “Aggarwal” a communal and non-secular surname that would help push RSS’ and VHP’s respective agendas.
“The only reason this is happening is because our supreme leader, Shri Rahul Gandhi, is on leave,” Abhishek Manu Singhvi, Congress spokesperson said. “Otherwise he would have called this nonsense and torn up something.”
Away from politics, the researchers insist that this will help budding entrepreneurs in coming up with unique names for their new ventures.
http://www.fakingnews.firstpost.com/2015/03/iit-researchers-discover-25000-new-ways-of-spelling-aggarwal/
New Delhi. A team of researchers at IIT Delhi has discovered 25000 new ways of spelling the surname “Aggarwal”. The researchers, led by Dr. Tadapit Kumar, had been working on a project to lower the cost of defense manufacturing when they got distracted by this subject and started working on it.
“It always troubled me ever since I was a young child as to how every Aggarwal that I met had a different spelling,” said Dr. Tadapit, the author of the report and leader of the research team, said.
“Sometimes they would use the letter ‘e’, sometimes ‘u’, sometimes ‘a’ for the ‘gar’ or ‘wal”. I even found a Bengali ‘Aggorwol’. And the output is much better than what we had found for the defence manufacturing thing – which was to basically import the final product from Israel,” he added.
Meanwhile, the Prime Minister lauded the effort as being in line with his “Make in India” scheme. The Congress was quick to denounce this and labelled “Aggarwal” a communal and non-secular surname that would help push RSS’ and VHP’s respective agendas.
“The only reason this is happening is because our supreme leader, Shri Rahul Gandhi, is on leave,” Abhishek Manu Singhvi, Congress spokesperson said. “Otherwise he would have called this nonsense and torn up something.”
Away from politics, the researchers insist that this will help budding entrepreneurs in coming up with unique names for their new ventures.
http://www.fakingnews.firstpost.com/2015/03/iit-researchers-discover-25000-new-ways-of-spelling-aggarwal/
March 8, 2015
Congress to celebrate Rahul Gandhi’s return from sabbatical as Diwali
I probably miss Rahul Gandhi more than his partymen. Satire!
Delhi: Soon after Congress scion, Rahul Gandhi, went on a sabbatical in the midst of the Budget session of Parliament, the party has announced that it would celebrate his return, whenever that might be, as Diwali.“Even Shree Ram went to the jungle… the Pandavas went too,” Congress spokesperson Abhishek Manu Singhvi said, in a press conference. “Mr. Rahul Gandhi deserves a break from the pressures of royalty. And of course, when Mr. Gandhi decides to return, having vanquished all demons, we will celebrate his return as our Diwali.”“No, he’s not gone to a jungle,” Mr. Singhvi said, reacting to a question.Setting aside speculation that Mr. Gandhi had used the opportunity to retire from active politics, Mr. Singhvi said, “Rahulji is our God; he can never retire. Even while he is miles away from us, he keeps providing us inspiration… sometimes through email forwards, sometimes through Whatsapp and sometimes by giving us missed calls and not picking his phone when we call him back. He is truly a father figure for the Congress party.”http://my.fakingnews.firstpost.com/2015/03/07/congress-to-celebrate-rahul-gandhis-return-from-sabbatical-as-diwali/
Delhi: Soon after Congress scion, Rahul Gandhi, went on a sabbatical in the midst of the Budget session of Parliament, the party has announced that it would celebrate his return, whenever that might be, as Diwali.“Even Shree Ram went to the jungle… the Pandavas went too,” Congress spokesperson Abhishek Manu Singhvi said, in a press conference. “Mr. Rahul Gandhi deserves a break from the pressures of royalty. And of course, when Mr. Gandhi decides to return, having vanquished all demons, we will celebrate his return as our Diwali.”“No, he’s not gone to a jungle,” Mr. Singhvi said, reacting to a question.Setting aside speculation that Mr. Gandhi had used the opportunity to retire from active politics, Mr. Singhvi said, “Rahulji is our God; he can never retire. Even while he is miles away from us, he keeps providing us inspiration… sometimes through email forwards, sometimes through Whatsapp and sometimes by giving us missed calls and not picking his phone when we call him back. He is truly a father figure for the Congress party.”http://my.fakingnews.firstpost.com/2015/03/07/congress-to-celebrate-rahul-gandhis-return-from-sabbatical-as-diwali/
March 4, 2015
Abuse part of my fitness regimen, no malicious intent behind abusing journalist: Kohli
Inspired by the events of the day! Satire.
Australia: After reports emerged of Virat Kohli having abused a journalist profusely (and that too the
wrong journalist), the Indian vice captain chose to clear the air with an interview. Speaking exclusively to this Faking News reporter, Kohli said that his swearing was part of an intricate regimen that helped him stay in shape as a cricketer.
“Ever since I was a little kid, I have been beginning my days with a phir subah ho gayee benc**d or iss alarm clock kee to maa kee… There’s nothing new in this,” Kohli said in an interview with this Faking News reporter. “I do 100 reps of ma*arc**d, 50 reps of benc**d and 50 reps of suar ka pattha everyday. It is a part of my exercise regimen.”
“To be frank, I did not even know the journalist,” Kohli continued. “He just walked up real close to me when I was doing my set of ma*arc**d reps… So he got the full blast. Nothing I can do about it. This guy should have been more careful.”
Meanwhile, Congress raised the issue in the Rajya Sabha and wondered why the Prime Minister was silent on the issue. “The PM should resign,” Sanjay Jha, Congress spokesperson said.
http://my.fakingnews.firstpost.com/2015/03/04/abuse-part-of-my-fitness-regimen-no-malicious-intent-behind-abusing-journalist-kohli/
Australia: After reports emerged of Virat Kohli having abused a journalist profusely (and that too the
wrong journalist), the Indian vice captain chose to clear the air with an interview. Speaking exclusively to this Faking News reporter, Kohli said that his swearing was part of an intricate regimen that helped him stay in shape as a cricketer.
“Ever since I was a little kid, I have been beginning my days with a phir subah ho gayee benc**d or iss alarm clock kee to maa kee… There’s nothing new in this,” Kohli said in an interview with this Faking News reporter. “I do 100 reps of ma*arc**d, 50 reps of benc**d and 50 reps of suar ka pattha everyday. It is a part of my exercise regimen.”
“To be frank, I did not even know the journalist,” Kohli continued. “He just walked up real close to me when I was doing my set of ma*arc**d reps… So he got the full blast. Nothing I can do about it. This guy should have been more careful.”
Meanwhile, Congress raised the issue in the Rajya Sabha and wondered why the Prime Minister was silent on the issue. “The PM should resign,” Sanjay Jha, Congress spokesperson said.
http://my.fakingnews.firstpost.com/2015/03/04/abuse-part-of-my-fitness-regimen-no-malicious-intent-behind-abusing-journalist-kohli/
February 22, 2015
Arnab Goswami found resolving gully-cricket disputes in his free time
Satire.
New Delhi: Reports coming in from a swanky neighborhood in South Delhi have indicated that Arnab Goswami, the face and voice of Times Now, was resolving gully-cricket disputes in his free time.
Sources from within Mr. Goswami’s domestic staff have revealed that the fiery newsreader was merely asked to leave the house for some time so that there could be some peace as he had apparently been inciting quarrels between his family members at the breakfast table.
“Yes yes we are very proud of him,” Mr. Aggarwal – security guard at the mohalla park – said. “In fact in his childhood, Arnab used to make sure that his team got batting in both innings. Since then, he has been resolving cricket conflicts in our streets or the local mohalla park.”
“No, no,” Mr. Goswami was overheard shouting, from a considerable distance. “I am a respected journalist with honesty… integrity… sincerity and I will not be party to your accusations. First you must answer me, Mr. Pappu of Terah number gully, what right do you have to claim whose batting it is?”
Meanwhile, Rajdeep Sardesai was found peddling his book in the same park.
http://my.fakingnews.firstpost.com/2015/02/22/arnab-goswami-found-resolving-gully-cricket-disputes-in-his-free-time/
New Delhi: Reports coming in from a swanky neighborhood in South Delhi have indicated that Arnab Goswami, the face and voice of Times Now, was resolving gully-cricket disputes in his free time.
Sources from within Mr. Goswami’s domestic staff have revealed that the fiery newsreader was merely asked to leave the house for some time so that there could be some peace as he had apparently been inciting quarrels between his family members at the breakfast table.
“Yes yes we are very proud of him,” Mr. Aggarwal – security guard at the mohalla park – said. “In fact in his childhood, Arnab used to make sure that his team got batting in both innings. Since then, he has been resolving cricket conflicts in our streets or the local mohalla park.”
“No, no,” Mr. Goswami was overheard shouting, from a considerable distance. “I am a respected journalist with honesty… integrity… sincerity and I will not be party to your accusations. First you must answer me, Mr. Pappu of Terah number gully, what right do you have to claim whose batting it is?”
Meanwhile, Rajdeep Sardesai was found peddling his book in the same park.
http://my.fakingnews.firstpost.com/2015/02/22/arnab-goswami-found-resolving-gully-cricket-disputes-in-his-free-time/
February 1, 2015
‘Game of Thrones’ fan depressed that people around him not dying often enough
Satire.
Gurgaon: A software engineer and ardent ‘Game of Thrones’ fan recently checked into a hospital, suffering from severe depression. Apparently, Tadapit Kumar, the software engineer in question was depressed about the fact that the people in his life were not dying at the same frequency and with the same brutality as the characters on his favorite TV show.
“I have been watching Game of Thrones for two years now and by now, I am used to a brutal death in every episode,” Tadapit said. “Earlier, for the first three episodes or so, I had my favorite characters but all of them died eventually – so, death itself has become my favorite event on the show.”
“Yes, yes, it is quite a common phenomenon now,” Dr. Chugh, a famous Delhi based psychiatrist said. “We are calling this ‘Game of Thrones Mania’, for the lack of a better phrase. The only cure we have discovered so far is showing people addicted to the show, one episode of Ballika Vadhu… most of them become suicidal instead of bloodthirsty, thereafter.”
“I was surprised when people around me did not die as much or with the same brutality,” Tadapit concluded dejectedly. “Only my neighbor, Sharma uncle, has died ever since I started watching the show and he passed away peacefully his sleep at the age of 105.”
http://my.fakingnews.firstpost.com/2015/02/01/game-of-thrones-fan-depressed-that-people-around-him-not-dying-often-enough/
Gurgaon: A software engineer and ardent ‘Game of Thrones’ fan recently checked into a hospital, suffering from severe depression. Apparently, Tadapit Kumar, the software engineer in question was depressed about the fact that the people in his life were not dying at the same frequency and with the same brutality as the characters on his favorite TV show.
“I have been watching Game of Thrones for two years now and by now, I am used to a brutal death in every episode,” Tadapit said. “Earlier, for the first three episodes or so, I had my favorite characters but all of them died eventually – so, death itself has become my favorite event on the show.”
“Yes, yes, it is quite a common phenomenon now,” Dr. Chugh, a famous Delhi based psychiatrist said. “We are calling this ‘Game of Thrones Mania’, for the lack of a better phrase. The only cure we have discovered so far is showing people addicted to the show, one episode of Ballika Vadhu… most of them become suicidal instead of bloodthirsty, thereafter.”
“I was surprised when people around me did not die as much or with the same brutality,” Tadapit concluded dejectedly. “Only my neighbor, Sharma uncle, has died ever since I started watching the show and he passed away peacefully his sleep at the age of 105.”
http://my.fakingnews.firstpost.com/2015/02/01/game-of-thrones-fan-depressed-that-people-around-him-not-dying-often-enough/
January 30, 2015
Book Review: Marine Sniper by Charles Henderson
Charles Henderson's 'Marine Sniper' is a dramatized account of the life of a Vietnam War sniper. Based on the life and times of Sergeant Carlos Hathcock - an American soldier who apparently eventually became the posterboy of the Marine Sniper program - the book seemed an interesting prospect at first. One, I love war books and two, I love history books (Marine Sniper is set in the Vietnam War). Sadly, the book was a disappointment.The amount of melodramatic fictionalization of everything Hathcock did was extremely jingoistic. Dialogues were overwritten with Henderson trying to explain the scene or pace along the narrative with incredibly explanatory (and thus, weird) dialogues. And the focus on battle tactics or history was minimal.
The only thing that made the book tolerable was Hathcock... real, gritty and human in the parts of the book Henderson allows him to be so.
Book Review: The Snowden Files by Luke Harding
I labored with 'The Snowden Files' for three months, finishing off a Zaidi, a Ken Follett and Natwar Singh's latest book in the meanwhile. The only worse book I have read in the recent past has been Rachel Dwyer's incredibly boring book on how Bollywood and Indian culture is intertwined (which read like a gassy PhD thesis by some intense cultural 'frog in a well' scientist).Harding treats Snowden and individual privacy as the subject of his own PhD thesis. After the initial pacy thriller like section on how Snowden did what he did, the book degenerates into a discussion on data privacy and how US intelligence/ NSA did what it did (i.e. spy on the world). There are interesting tidbits here and there including the spirited fight between a committed journalist cadre and US/ UK intelligence to keep the Snowden revelations in the public domain but such sections get lost between reams of explanations of technical nuances of the spying.
I was expecting much more from the book, especially since I am very particular about checking Goodreads ratings of unknown authors before buying them. Goodreads has failed me terribly, perhaps for the first time. Hope this is not the start of a trend.
