Chris Rodell's Blog, page 22
December 29, 2019
Skimpy batch of tweets of the month
Man, I’ve been so busy I have barely had time to tweet. Think about that. There are just 16 here — and one of them is a knock-knock joke! It used to be nothing for me to run off 60 or 70 a month. And they were all worthy of attention. What happened? People started buying my books. I was more prolific Tweeter when I spent hour after hour staring out the window trying to divine clever
November 30, 2019
November tweets of the Month
• Because I remain an optimist about my longevity, I will henceforth list my age with a prefacing zero: i.e., 056.
• Who won Game 7? Don't tell me! I'm such a baseball fan I always tape the last game and watch 2 pitches a night until spring training. Let's go ‘stros!
• My aim is not to be controversial and please don't read too much into this, but I feel compelled to point out
• Who won Game 7? Don't tell me! I'm such a baseball fan I always tape the last game and watch 2 pitches a night until spring training. Let's go ‘stros!
• My aim is not to be controversial and please don't read too much into this, but I feel compelled to point out
November 18, 2019
The true facts on Ukraine
(704 words)
• The capital of Ukraine is Kyiv.
• The Ukrainian gross national product in 2017 was $112.2 billion (U.S.). It is known as the bread basket of Europe with its chief exports being sunflower and wheat.
• Borsch is the Ukrainian national dish.
• Actress Mila Kunis from “That ‘70s Show” was born in Ukraine and with her family emigrated to the U.S. in 1991 when she was 7.
• The capital of Ukraine is Kyiv.
• The Ukrainian gross national product in 2017 was $112.2 billion (U.S.). It is known as the bread basket of Europe with its chief exports being sunflower and wheat.
• Borsch is the Ukrainian national dish.
• Actress Mila Kunis from “That ‘70s Show” was born in Ukraine and with her family emigrated to the U.S. in 1991 when she was 7.
November 13, 2019
My sweet black angel: return of an old girlfriend
(645 words)
The girls feared it was something serious when I asked them to pause the TV and give me their full attention.
Val was away for the weekend and I’d succumbed to an ancient temptation that would require their immoral complicity.
“A man gets mighty lonely when his wife just up and leaves him (she’d been gone a total of three hours),” I said. “See, I’m just a man and a man
The girls feared it was something serious when I asked them to pause the TV and give me their full attention.
Val was away for the weekend and I’d succumbed to an ancient temptation that would require their immoral complicity.
“A man gets mighty lonely when his wife just up and leaves him (she’d been gone a total of three hours),” I said. “See, I’m just a man and a man
November 9, 2019
Fred Rogers: The kind of weirdo we should all aspire to be
There are a lot of crazy rumors about Mr. Rogers. He was a Navy Seal. An Army sniper. A garishly tattooed killer. He was none of those things.
What was Fred Rogers? Let me tell you …
Fred Rogers was a real weirdo. That is he was the kind of person whose behaviors were at odds with the rest of us normal folks. He was that kind of kind.
He wasn’t the first. Notable weirdos include
What was Fred Rogers? Let me tell you …
Fred Rogers was a real weirdo. That is he was the kind of person whose behaviors were at odds with the rest of us normal folks. He was that kind of kind.
He wasn’t the first. Notable weirdos include
November 4, 2019
I now have a shoe fetish
(723 words)
When people read that disgraced Filipino first lady Imelda Marcos had nearly 3,000 pairs of fancy shoes they become outraged at the excess. How, they wonder, could she be so calloused to the suffering of others?
I contend her shoes were so well-made, the common callous never developed.
Me, I didn’t become outraged. I became envious.
See, I have just six pair of dress
When people read that disgraced Filipino first lady Imelda Marcos had nearly 3,000 pairs of fancy shoes they become outraged at the excess. How, they wonder, could she be so calloused to the suffering of others?
I contend her shoes were so well-made, the common callous never developed.
Me, I didn’t become outraged. I became envious.
See, I have just six pair of dress
October 31, 2019
Tweets of the (last two) months
And now entirely without fanfare, here are the Tweets of the (last two) months ...
• Purely to satisfy my curiosity to how bitter partisans react to coincidental news, I'd like to see what supporters and antagonists say if a Storm(y) named Daniels made landfall at Mar-a-Lago.
• If Trump says the hurricane is gonna hit Alabama then pucker up, Cotton State, and prepare to kiss yer
• Purely to satisfy my curiosity to how bitter partisans react to coincidental news, I'd like to see what supporters and antagonists say if a Storm(y) named Daniels made landfall at Mar-a-Lago.
• If Trump says the hurricane is gonna hit Alabama then pucker up, Cotton State, and prepare to kiss yer
October 21, 2019
Making signed books special
(757 words)
It would be a total jerk move, but I often think about entering book stores and posing as another author to sign their books in ways that promote mine.
I’ve signed a lot of books in a lot of bookstores and never once has anyone asked me to prove I’m Chris Rodell. I could pose as any number of more successful authors and the book seller would cheerfully hand me a stack of
It would be a total jerk move, but I often think about entering book stores and posing as another author to sign their books in ways that promote mine.
I’ve signed a lot of books in a lot of bookstores and never once has anyone asked me to prove I’m Chris Rodell. I could pose as any number of more successful authors and the book seller would cheerfully hand me a stack of
October 8, 2019
Quick! Gimme $65. I need a new pen!
(734 words)
The clandestine meeting had been set for a public place. Consummation would take place out in the open, but among indifferent strangers.
This tete-a-tete had wholesome origins. My attractions bloomed at the Ligonier Farmer’s Market in early summer in the season of the rising sap.
Of course, I couldn’t let my wife know. I suspected she’d be very upset.
Turns out I was
The clandestine meeting had been set for a public place. Consummation would take place out in the open, but among indifferent strangers.
This tete-a-tete had wholesome origins. My attractions bloomed at the Ligonier Farmer’s Market in early summer in the season of the rising sap.
Of course, I couldn’t let my wife know. I suspected she’d be very upset.
Turns out I was
September 27, 2019
Banned from Latrobe C.C. ... Me!
(763 words)
The call informing me I was no longer welcome at Latrobe Country Club came coincidentally three years to the day after Arnold Palmer died. Now, that’s another thing I never thought I’d have in common with Ben Roethlisberger.
Ben was banned for refusing to sign autographs.
I was now being forbidden from signing them. I called the organizer of an area charity raising funds
The call informing me I was no longer welcome at Latrobe Country Club came coincidentally three years to the day after Arnold Palmer died. Now, that’s another thing I never thought I’d have in common with Ben Roethlisberger.
Ben was banned for refusing to sign autographs.
I was now being forbidden from signing them. I called the organizer of an area charity raising funds
