Chris Rodell's Blog, page 20
March 27, 2020
Cracks in my invincibilities
(669 words)
I confess now to the conceit that I once felt certain I was going to survive to a ripe old age.
In fact, when I turned 50 and was asked to include my age on any application, I would write “050,” so confident was I of triple-digit longevity.
And there were times, yes, when I with swelled-head would think I was destined to surpass even 100 years. Say, 105? 110?
No. I
I confess now to the conceit that I once felt certain I was going to survive to a ripe old age.
In fact, when I turned 50 and was asked to include my age on any application, I would write “050,” so confident was I of triple-digit longevity.
And there were times, yes, when I with swelled-head would think I was destined to surpass even 100 years. Say, 105? 110?
No. I
March 25, 2020
Space Station 'nauts could repopulate planet
(737 words)
At times like these, the native optimist in me is at war with my inner doomsday realist, the one who senses an existential threat.
It looks like in order to keep the economy humming, many people are willing to risk the continuity of the species. I find the idea of a whimsically imposed Easter deadline ludicrous, especially when our best experts predict by Easter our major
At times like these, the native optimist in me is at war with my inner doomsday realist, the one who senses an existential threat.
It looks like in order to keep the economy humming, many people are willing to risk the continuity of the species. I find the idea of a whimsically imposed Easter deadline ludicrous, especially when our best experts predict by Easter our major
March 23, 2020
"Moby Dick," Melville & me
(673 words)
I try and read “Moby Dick” every five years or so because I find I discover something new every time.
For instance: I just realized the only character in “Moby Dick” with a proper first and last name is Moby Dick. The rest — Ishmael, Ahab, Starbuck, Flask, Stubb, Pip, Queequeg, etc — have only one name.
Another Did You Know? The world’s most popular coffee chain was
I try and read “Moby Dick” every five years or so because I find I discover something new every time.
For instance: I just realized the only character in “Moby Dick” with a proper first and last name is Moby Dick. The rest — Ishmael, Ahab, Starbuck, Flask, Stubb, Pip, Queequeg, etc — have only one name.
Another Did You Know? The world’s most popular coffee chain was
March 20, 2020
World going to hell & all I wanted was a Cadbury Egg
(657 words)
Many frontline medical men and women are risking their lives to save total strangers.
Today, I risked my life because I was craving one of those Cadbury eggs.
Chocolate shell, creamy filling, I just love ‘em. How much? The day chickens start laying Cadbury eggs is the day I vow I’ll become a chicken farmer
The coronavirus crisis is challenging us all to differentiate
Many frontline medical men and women are risking their lives to save total strangers.
Today, I risked my life because I was craving one of those Cadbury eggs.
Chocolate shell, creamy filling, I just love ‘em. How much? The day chickens start laying Cadbury eggs is the day I vow I’ll become a chicken farmer
The coronavirus crisis is challenging us all to differentiate
March 19, 2020
When will I see you again?
(662 words)
I’m feeling melancholy, like you do when a long winning streak comes to an abrupt end. I’m about to experience what is for me the longest stretch of sobriety since, I think, gee, I was in the 4th grade.
See I don’t drink alone and I don’t drink at home — at least not enough to qualify as real drinkin’.
No, I’m a bar guy. I enjoy being out amidst the bustle of people and
I’m feeling melancholy, like you do when a long winning streak comes to an abrupt end. I’m about to experience what is for me the longest stretch of sobriety since, I think, gee, I was in the 4th grade.
See I don’t drink alone and I don’t drink at home — at least not enough to qualify as real drinkin’.
No, I’m a bar guy. I enjoy being out amidst the bustle of people and
March 17, 2020
Let's run the Derby w/o jockeys
(559 words)
I did some checking and just as I’d feared the only enduring national sporting event still on the calendar involves competitive hot dog eating.
Yes, set your DVRs, Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest is set to take place July 4th, 10:30 to 3:30, on Coney Island. Last year, the top three contestants ate 71, 50 and 47 hot dogs in 10 minutes
The event used to dismay me because I
I did some checking and just as I’d feared the only enduring national sporting event still on the calendar involves competitive hot dog eating.
Yes, set your DVRs, Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest is set to take place July 4th, 10:30 to 3:30, on Coney Island. Last year, the top three contestants ate 71, 50 and 47 hot dogs in 10 minutes
The event used to dismay me because I
March 16, 2020
We're ALL essential
(657 words)
When I heard our duly elected leaders are asking only essential workers report to work, like many of you, I looked myself in the mirror and asked myself an existential question:
“Are you essential?”
I thought about what I’ve been doing for the last 30 years and if any of it would have any positive impact on this COVID-19 crisis. Would it save lives? Ease fears? Promote
When I heard our duly elected leaders are asking only essential workers report to work, like many of you, I looked myself in the mirror and asked myself an existential question:
“Are you essential?”
I thought about what I’ve been doing for the last 30 years and if any of it would have any positive impact on this COVID-19 crisis. Would it save lives? Ease fears? Promote
March 12, 2020
Random thoughts on, oh, what's it called?
• I love America and I love Americans, but given what I know about both, I’m convinced right now CDC hotlies are jammed with people who are asking some form of the question: “I just saw a Tom Hanks movie on Netflix. I have no symptoms, but just to be safe should I self-quarantine?”
• I wonder what Citizen Trump would have said had President Obama in different circumstances said he was
• I wonder what Citizen Trump would have said had President Obama in different circumstances said he was
February 29, 2020
Leaper tweets of the month
• I used to make prognostications but I was so wrong so often I predict it'll never happen again.
• Because I enjoy security cam video of news that can only be described as miraculous, I hope today to see a massive sinkhole open up on a busy highway where an equally massive and adjacent landslide fills it in so neatly passengers in an advancing bus never notice either potential calamity
• Because I enjoy security cam video of news that can only be described as miraculous, I hope today to see a massive sinkhole open up on a busy highway where an equally massive and adjacent landslide fills it in so neatly passengers in an advancing bus never notice either potential calamity
February 25, 2020
This book is worth (at least) $150
(646 words)
I’m not suggesting it will play a role in toppling international currency markets, but one of my books was a key factor in a six-figure transaction that required a notary and five responsible witnesses.
Sure, the necessary inclusion of a decimal point knocks the transaction into modest four figures and, yeah, one of the “responsible witnesses” was a distracted toddler and
I’m not suggesting it will play a role in toppling international currency markets, but one of my books was a key factor in a six-figure transaction that required a notary and five responsible witnesses.
Sure, the necessary inclusion of a decimal point knocks the transaction into modest four figures and, yeah, one of the “responsible witnesses” was a distracted toddler and
