Chris Rodell's Blog, page 21
February 18, 2020
Putting those Tin Lizzy rumors to rest
(779 words)
One of my favorite things to do in the Tin Lizzy is pretend I own the Tin Lizzy.
I pretend I’m Buck Pawloski, the 74-year-old actual owner.
This isn’t as challenging as it sounds. I have since July 2015 rented an office in the historic tavern. The landmark building dates back to the 1750’s and has three distinct lively bars, one in the basement and ones on the first and
One of my favorite things to do in the Tin Lizzy is pretend I own the Tin Lizzy.
I pretend I’m Buck Pawloski, the 74-year-old actual owner.
This isn’t as challenging as it sounds. I have since July 2015 rented an office in the historic tavern. The landmark building dates back to the 1750’s and has three distinct lively bars, one in the basement and ones on the first and
February 13, 2020
Blinded by the (head)lights: a glaring story
(678 words)
I’ve said it before, but I’m such a pacifist the only thing I reflexively want to kill is time.
This puts me at odds with everyone but, gee, I guess the Dalai Lama and Kermit the Frog.
But the other night I heard some cranky old white male talking about blasting a fellow motorist and I thought, yeah, I’m on board with that.
He said: “I’d wait the they got real close
I’ve said it before, but I’m such a pacifist the only thing I reflexively want to kill is time.
This puts me at odds with everyone but, gee, I guess the Dalai Lama and Kermit the Frog.
But the other night I heard some cranky old white male talking about blasting a fellow motorist and I thought, yeah, I’m on board with that.
He said: “I’d wait the they got real close
February 10, 2020
Forks, fingers & sporks
(746 words)
I’ve in the last month added an exciting new element to my diet, one that could lead to dramatic weight loss without the sweaty grind of regular exercise. It is …
The fork!
See, because of my condition, I’ve let myself go a bit over the last 18 months.
Who wouldn’t? Women look at me with a pity they can not conceal. Men cross the street like they fear what’s
I’ve in the last month added an exciting new element to my diet, one that could lead to dramatic weight loss without the sweaty grind of regular exercise. It is …
The fork!
See, because of my condition, I’ve let myself go a bit over the last 18 months.
Who wouldn’t? Women look at me with a pity they can not conceal. Men cross the street like they fear what’s
January 31, 2020
Tweets of the Month
Anytime I have fewer twweets than I do days of the month, I feel like I stumbled through a whole lunar cyccle with my brain switched off. Oh, well, I'll let you decide ...
• Televising CNN anchors getting all gooned up isn't entertaining unless they agree to show them waking up with skull-pounding hangovers. Now THAT'd be entertaining.
• You can play a mean bluegrass banjo or
• Televising CNN anchors getting all gooned up isn't entertaining unless they agree to show them waking up with skull-pounding hangovers. Now THAT'd be entertaining.
• You can play a mean bluegrass banjo or
A long story about the long story behind the TINARA Award-winning "Last Baby Boomer"
(1,298 words)
His name was Phil. That I’ll never forget. His last name I’ve spent more than 20 years trying to pressure wash off my cranium in case we’re one day introduced at some social event and I see fit to murder Phil with my bare hands right there beside the punch bowl.
I hear there are consequences to that sort of thing
It was Phil who gave me the most euphoric news anyone’s
His name was Phil. That I’ll never forget. His last name I’ve spent more than 20 years trying to pressure wash off my cranium in case we’re one day introduced at some social event and I see fit to murder Phil with my bare hands right there beside the punch bowl.
I hear there are consequences to that sort of thing
It was Phil who gave me the most euphoric news anyone’s
January 23, 2020
Return this decision to sender: Palmer stamp to be unveiled in Orlando, not Latrobe
(701 words)
I’m painfully aware of the personal and professional consequences of using this blog — named the 32nd most influential blog for Amish readers — to ruffle the feathers of the braintrust behind one of the world’s most beloved and iconic brands.
But when a company worth in the neighborhood $700 million gracelessly stumbles over a 55-cent postage stamp then feathers must be
I’m painfully aware of the personal and professional consequences of using this blog — named the 32nd most influential blog for Amish readers — to ruffle the feathers of the braintrust behind one of the world’s most beloved and iconic brands.
But when a company worth in the neighborhood $700 million gracelessly stumbles over a 55-cent postage stamp then feathers must be
January 16, 2020
In the ring: fighting Parkinson's with boxing
(771 words)
I became a personal pacifist in 5th grade a split second after my right fist caved in the face of Mark Duncan on the front steps at Julia Ward Howe Elementary School.
So at the age of 13 with blood on my knuckles, I’d renounced violence in front of a building named for the composer of “The Battle Hymn of the Republic,” a song that exalts the Lordly unleashing of His terrible
I became a personal pacifist in 5th grade a split second after my right fist caved in the face of Mark Duncan on the front steps at Julia Ward Howe Elementary School.
So at the age of 13 with blood on my knuckles, I’d renounced violence in front of a building named for the composer of “The Battle Hymn of the Republic,” a song that exalts the Lordly unleashing of His terrible
January 11, 2020
Contemplating crime while waiting to say goodbye to our friend Dave at the funeral home
(771 words)
I don’t know what it is about small town funerals that often leads me to think of committing crimes.
Happened yesterday at the visitation for our friend Dave Planinsec, 64. When someone like Dave dies — and there aren’t many like Dave — everyone stops what they’re doing and heads over to pay their respects.
People stand in line for hours and think about what to say, how
I don’t know what it is about small town funerals that often leads me to think of committing crimes.
Happened yesterday at the visitation for our friend Dave Planinsec, 64. When someone like Dave dies — and there aren’t many like Dave — everyone stops what they’re doing and heads over to pay their respects.
People stand in line for hours and think about what to say, how
December 31, 2019
Looking back: Best tweets of '19
I’m obsessive about tending these wildly excessive Tweet lists because I suspect I’ll one day mine them for another “Crayons!” book update. But I have to be honest, I don’t know which I’d rather avoid more: Having to assemble the list or having to read it …
• It could be damaging to a woman's reputation if she gets off on too many tangents with too many tan gents.
• It should be in
• It could be damaging to a woman's reputation if she gets off on too many tangents with too many tan gents.
• It should be in
December 30, 2019
My 2,000th blog post
(626 words)
A friend once asked me the longest I’d ever gone without blogging.
“That’d be from 1963 through 2008,” I’d say
It was a smart ass answer which was fine because blogging is a realm dominated by smart asses, not to be confused with intelligent ones.
I used to say blogging was the literary equivalent of running a lemonade stand. Then it dawned on me even 8 year olds know
A friend once asked me the longest I’d ever gone without blogging.
“That’d be from 1963 through 2008,” I’d say
It was a smart ass answer which was fine because blogging is a realm dominated by smart asses, not to be confused with intelligent ones.
I used to say blogging was the literary equivalent of running a lemonade stand. Then it dawned on me even 8 year olds know
