Chris Rodell's Blog, page 19
April 17, 2020
Massive book giveaway: just can't help myself
(646 words)
I can’t explain why I feel compelled to help total strangers when I’m incapable of even helping myself. I guess I just can’t help myself.
It’s why I’ve spent the last week lavishly signing and at my own expense mailing more than 100 copies of “Use All The Crayons!” to people I’ll never meet.
I know people are anxious, scared and could use a chuckle. So I posted this and
I can’t explain why I feel compelled to help total strangers when I’m incapable of even helping myself. I guess I just can’t help myself.
It’s why I’ve spent the last week lavishly signing and at my own expense mailing more than 100 copies of “Use All The Crayons!” to people I’ll never meet.
I know people are anxious, scared and could use a chuckle. So I posted this and
April 14, 2020
Quarantine sex: Married vs. single
(710 words)
Ran into a younger drinking buddy while I was out strolling. From the CDC-recommended 6-foot distance he began to tell me that while, yes, it was a bit of a bummer that coronavirus has killed 120,000 so far, it has led to a happy boost in the frequency of times he’s getting laid.
Gotta love a horny man’s perspective.
“We’re screwing near ‘round the clock,” he said. “It’s
Ran into a younger drinking buddy while I was out strolling. From the CDC-recommended 6-foot distance he began to tell me that while, yes, it was a bit of a bummer that coronavirus has killed 120,000 so far, it has led to a happy boost in the frequency of times he’s getting laid.
Gotta love a horny man’s perspective.
“We’re screwing near ‘round the clock,” he said. “It’s
April 10, 2020
A dozen random Good Friday I-wonders
• I wonder if Jesus rolls His eyes anytime He hears we mortal sinners refer to the worst day of His entire life as Good Friday. “Good Friday? Oh, it was the best! One heck of a swell time!” I hope He’s not sarcastic. Sarcasm’d be unbecoming Savior behavior.”
• I wonder if your soul can get sent to hell for being sacrilegious on Earth. I hope not because I’m a sacrilegious as all get
• I wonder if your soul can get sent to hell for being sacrilegious on Earth. I hope not because I’m a sacrilegious as all get
April 9, 2020
Support your small businesses! Tin Lizzy kitchen open Friday for takeout/delivery!
(522 words)
Welcome evidence of human activity stared me right in the face today as I made my solitary trudge to the front door of the Tin Lizzy.
They’re opening Friday 11 a.m. to 6 p.m. for take-out or delivery!
The modified menu includes your typical Lenten specials for … for … reasonable, I’m sure, mystery prices to come.
I like that Rick and Lisa chose not to include the price
Welcome evidence of human activity stared me right in the face today as I made my solitary trudge to the front door of the Tin Lizzy.
They’re opening Friday 11 a.m. to 6 p.m. for take-out or delivery!
The modified menu includes your typical Lenten specials for … for … reasonable, I’m sure, mystery prices to come.
I like that Rick and Lisa chose not to include the price
April 7, 2020
Cheers to Gary Portnoy! Who's Gary Portnoy?
(663 words)
Making your way in the world today takes everything you’ve got.
Taking a break from all your worries sure would help a lot. Wouldn’t you like to get away?
By now, I’d say about three-quarters if you jumped right to the chorus. Sing it with me!
“Sometimes you wanna go where everybody knows your name! And they’re always glad you came! You wanna go where people know,
Making your way in the world today takes everything you’ve got.
Taking a break from all your worries sure would help a lot. Wouldn’t you like to get away?
By now, I’d say about three-quarters if you jumped right to the chorus. Sing it with me!
“Sometimes you wanna go where everybody knows your name! And they’re always glad you came! You wanna go where people know,
April 5, 2020
COVID now worse than DISCO
(727 words)
I guess I was about 25 when I confided to an older friend my sheepish confession of my generational uselessness.
He and his peers valiantly marched in protests against racial hatred, voter inequality, gender discrimination, unjust Far East wars and Watergate corruptions.
“Geez,” I complained, “all my generation has to brag about is we rid the world of disco.”
His
I guess I was about 25 when I confided to an older friend my sheepish confession of my generational uselessness.
He and his peers valiantly marched in protests against racial hatred, voter inequality, gender discrimination, unjust Far East wars and Watergate corruptions.
“Geez,” I complained, “all my generation has to brag about is we rid the world of disco.”
His
April 2, 2020
My thoughts on Dylan & "Murder Most Foul"
(594 words)
So here’s my gut reaction to “Murder Most Foul,” Bob Dylan’s divisive new 17-minute song primarily about the Kennedy assassination.
• It’s like listening to four mediocre Bob Dylan songs strung together.
• Might as well call it “Pee Break Most Foul” because if he ever plays this live, every concert goer will at the first notes head straight to their designated restroom.
So here’s my gut reaction to “Murder Most Foul,” Bob Dylan’s divisive new 17-minute song primarily about the Kennedy assassination.
• It’s like listening to four mediocre Bob Dylan songs strung together.
• Might as well call it “Pee Break Most Foul” because if he ever plays this live, every concert goer will at the first notes head straight to their designated restroom.
April 1, 2020
If I should die before I wake ...
(714 words)
Give my shoes, the tri-colored Giorgio Brutini dandies, to the funeral director. I want to go my great reward in stylish footwear. I don’t understand the how or why, but in the past two years I’ve developed an odd shoe fetish. I now look at the Johnston & Murphy catalogue the way I used to look at Playboy. Either way, I imagine proper afterlife footwear will matter and I want
Give my shoes, the tri-colored Giorgio Brutini dandies, to the funeral director. I want to go my great reward in stylish footwear. I don’t understand the how or why, but in the past two years I’ve developed an odd shoe fetish. I now look at the Johnston & Murphy catalogue the way I used to look at Playboy. Either way, I imagine proper afterlife footwear will matter and I want
March 31, 2020
March Tweets of the Month (Covfefe!)
This is the 10th original blog post since the Covid-19 catalyst really demanded all our attention. The 10th, in fact, since March 12, prior to which I had never even typed the word and was likely to have confused it with Covfefe-22. And 10 is the most in any month of blogging since May 17. Lesson:
The virus may kill millions, but it’s revived “Eight Days to Amish!”
Tweets of the month
The virus may kill millions, but it’s revived “Eight Days to Amish!”
Tweets of the month
March 30, 2020
TP art in a time of TP hoarding
(696 words)
I believe most people use toilet paper without ever devoting even a minute of thought to the men and women who make toilet paper.
I think that stinks — and I’m talking about thoughtlessness, not the reason behind the need for TP.
Not me.
I think about them often.
I wonder if they’re coy about telling strangers how they earn their daily bread. Like do they say
I believe most people use toilet paper without ever devoting even a minute of thought to the men and women who make toilet paper.
I think that stinks — and I’m talking about thoughtlessness, not the reason behind the need for TP.
Not me.
I think about them often.
I wonder if they’re coy about telling strangers how they earn their daily bread. Like do they say
