Chris Rodell's Blog, page 15

How NYC-style sex party would go over in Latrobe

 (644 words)My mind was blown when I read New York City cops busted an 80-person sex party at a club called Caligula. Inside it was wall-to-wall sex. Man on man. Woman on women. Mixes. Multiples. Name it.I don’t know if any of the police were tempted to join in, but I can guarantee if Caligula has a bar cat it was nervous.As you can surmise, my invitation must have gotten lost in the mail or else

Trump ought to concede & move to Latrobe

 (858 words)I’m one of the 80 million or so Americans who thinks every time Trump leaves the White House he steals a towel or two.Of course, now there is a sizable portion of the Republican Party who think the Democrats stole something more significant than laundry.This stubborn — and dangerous — refusal to accept the results has surprised many partisans.Not me.Why would so many people who don’t

The hand shake: Its past, present & future

 (582 words)I’m friends with a guy who used to prepare for party introductions by pulling down his zipper and shoving his right hand out the opening so it would appear he had a fully functioning hand where other men have a penis.I remember him doing this mostly at Ohio University, the proud Athens, Ohio, institute of higher learning responsible for educating numerous award-winning scholars whose

My fellow Americans ...

 (Note: This was written under the presumption of a Biden victory. If the reverse happens, well, never mind)(781 words)You know, what kind of gets to me?It kind of gets to me that calling me an idiot — libtard — over policy disagreements just isn’t mean enough.No, my earnest belief that the top ome percent should pay their fair share in taxes means I belong to a secret cabal that preys on

America's last undecided voter ... me (from '16)

 (790 words)If I have the guts to pull it off I’m pretty sure you’ll hear about it, which means I’m pretty sure you won’t.It’s too bad, too, because I imagine it would be a dandy practical joke.Like all great practical jokes there’s nothing practical about it. I’d do it because I think it would be funny.It would involve hours of standing, pained expressions, flop sweat and torrents of relentless

Twick 'r Tweet! Best of the Month

 • Imagine how different society would be if every time we turned to social media, instead of disparagement, nonsense or vitriol, we received, ahhh, enlightenment. Let it begin with me ... Rhode Island isn't even Rhode Isthmus!• I wonder about the 1st time someone said, "You know, there's a 1st time for everything," and if the conversants were at all aware of the irony.• Trump expected to name a

The dog that turned me into a cat person

 NOTE: I swear I strode down a hundred hallways and tried a thousand doors in the hopes one of them would lead me to a more wholesome conclusion, rather than the filthy double entendre of which I’m here to preemptively warn. But none of them worked and I’d already spent too much time on it. I figured a fair warning like this could alert the delicates to either brace themselves or seek

Parkinson's update & where do they get those long drug names

 (671 words)My neurologist just prescribed me Amantadine to go along with my Pramipexole and Levothyroxine. Or as I call them, the little green one, the pink one and the medium tan one that tastes like the bottom of a farmer’s boot.That’s three pills, 17 syllables.The Amantadine is supposed to improve dexterity in my left arm, which Parkinson’s has rendered as useless as a deli window salami.

My KDKA spot goes pfft

(726 words)Our daughters made a nice impression on some friends this weekend and I was happy to share the compliments.“They said you were charming, poised and articulate,” I said, sensing right away they were experiencing proud surges of youthful self-esteem. It was heady praise.It’s why I felt momentary shame when I instantly pricked their ego-expanding balloons.“You know,” I said, “when people

Americans suffering from ASS

 (530 words)I have a layman’s understanding of Attention Deficit Disorder and a lazy man’s reluctance to do the research that would broaden my knowledge.So take what you read here with a grain of salt, a warning I’m sure is unnecessary to those of you already hyper-alert to fake new shenanigans.In fact, my standing in this regard is so shallow it can be summed up in one lame light bulb