Chris Rodell's Blog, page 11

When drinking buddies become alcoholics

(786 words)I know of two very dear friends who are going through serious alcohol addiction problems and all I can think to say to them is “Cheers!”I’m not joking and I fear for my friends. They’ve lost families, jobs and, I guess, hope.It seems with alcoholics the only thing that never departs is their thirst. I’m utterly ill-equipped on what to say to friends who were HOF drinking buddies and

Paul Newman & some favorite scenes from some favorite actors

                                         I’m in the midst of bitter falling out with an entity I’ve for my entire life turned to for comfort, solace and at times when I’m home alone soft-core porn.Yes, TV and I are on the outs.For something that offers so much, it gives so little. Bruce Springsteen in 1992 wrote “57 Channels and Nothin’ On,” to lament the state of TV.Today things have gotten both

Book promo: I'll send your granny to Hell -- with Fred Rogers!

 (790 words)The impetus for this offbeat promotion came when a friend — he’s an avid supporter — told me he wanted to give me $4,000 cash to finance my soon-to-be published new novel and, gulp, I said no. For any man of such meager means to say no to an envelope of cash that thick he must either be stupid or a man of good and just character.Or maybe a little bit of both.As many of you by now know

Bored sailors, broken supply chains & what Alex Haley has to do with it

                                (755 words) I try and commit to memory as many interesting facts as I can. You just never know when a conversation needs a little jolt to keep it percolating.Thanks to my friend Jim H., here’s all I know about the South Pacific island of Guam: US Navy sailors contend it is so boring the name’s letters stand for “Get Up And Masturbate.”I think of Guam whenever I

Twick or Tweet? October's best

 • I’m not really sure they bought it the first time, but I sense my family is after 6 consecutive days losing patience with me walking in and saying, "You're not going to believe what just happened ..."• Most TV shows feature people I don’t like doing things I don’t care about arriving at plot conclusions that make me think the writers are distracted by opportunities to produce more pointless

Arnold Palmer's ghost is haunting The Tin Lizzy (wink, wink)

 (597 words)First off, it says something about the quality of our dead regulars that if I could summon their spirits, Arnold Palmer would come in fourth.He’d be behind Zack, Wayne and Dave. All three were fixtures here at The Tin Lizzy, the place where the good times never die …But some of the regulars do!As upbeat promotional slogans go, that one’s probably a non-starter. But it shows the kind

Our, oh, so sinister nipples

                                               (617 words)One of the most brutal situations a public speaker must endure is to persevere through his or her presentation when he or she knows they’ve lost the audience.You’ve said something offensive. Your jokes fall flat. They hate you.Sure, being a married father of young daughters, I’m in a better position to deal with this than most. I lose the

Repeating myself over and over and ...

 (622 words)People say I repeat myself when I’m drunk.People say I repeat myself when I’m drunk.Or maybe you’ve already heard?If you read this blog, live with me or have spent any time in a bar with me then you probably have.I’m fond of saying it. If I’ve consumed a couple of straight up Wild Turkeys — and talk about your evening redundancies — I’ll usually start to crack myself up and begin

Sept. Tweets of the Month

And here at the end of the month it is the customary time to post my wrap-up and ask the question, as I always do, geez, does anybody even read these?If you can't live without them, sneeze! Really loud so I can hear and know you care.Ready? In 3 .... 2 .... 1 ....Thank you! Have a great day!• If a couple sets out to get hitched and guests agree it went off without a hitch, did it ever really

Thoughts on dinosaur sex

 (621 words)Some fathers talk birds ’n’ bees with their daughters. The wusses.When I have “the talk” with my loved ones, we go big. We go Old School.How old? We’re talking Jurassic.Big? How does 14 tons strike you.It all started when our eldest (she turns 21 Saturday!), asked me if I knew why the dinosaurs quit having sex. The question was class relatedI gave it a moment of thought and speculated