Chris Rodell's Blog, page 13
June 29, 2021
30 years w/o a job & notes on my new novel
(664 words)I spend an inordinate amount of time wondering if my decision in 1991 to skip the whole career thing was a wise career move.I wonder this a lot because, geez, I have so much time on my hands.I meet strangers at parties. They ask what I do. I tell them I stare out the window for an hour, type for about 90 seconds, then resume staring out the window. I then repeat the process throughout
June 11, 2021
Happy Hour? America could use a Nappy Hour!
(664 words)
A friend and I were commiserating about our lack of sleep when he told me he nearly fell asleep behind the wheel of his Volvo.
I asked if he thought it would work with a Ford.
“I don’t see why not,” he said, “but it’s nothing I’d recommend.”
The Volvo was at the time moving at about 50 mph.
He came instantly and fully wide awake when the car drifted off the road. It was about 30
A friend and I were commiserating about our lack of sleep when he told me he nearly fell asleep behind the wheel of his Volvo.
I asked if he thought it would work with a Ford.
“I don’t see why not,” he said, “but it’s nothing I’d recommend.”
The Volvo was at the time moving at about 50 mph.
He came instantly and fully wide awake when the car drifted off the road. It was about 30
May 19, 2021
Seeking a flame in a world that's on fire
(538 words)
The stranger had an air of desperation about him. He fidgeted. He was agitated. He couldn’t find a match.
We were in the clubhouse of a local golf course. It was getting late on a Saturday afternoon. The place was clearing out.
He looked about 50, trim, well-dressed, appeared prosperous. You’d think a guy like that could find a good match.
Twenty minutes later he asked again: Did
The stranger had an air of desperation about him. He fidgeted. He was agitated. He couldn’t find a match.
We were in the clubhouse of a local golf course. It was getting late on a Saturday afternoon. The place was clearing out.
He looked about 50, trim, well-dressed, appeared prosperous. You’d think a guy like that could find a good match.
Twenty minutes later he asked again: Did
April 30, 2021
Tweets of the last two months!
No time to proof or pre-amble. Just two months of raw tweets ...Have a great weekend!Chris• The loud, jarring phenomenon that occurs when that evening’s meal preparer tries to remove the 13th pan from the bottom of a drawer designed to hold not more than 10 is "Panvalanche." Panvalanche activity also common in sinks stacked with too many dirty dishes.• At some point in every human life, the
April 14, 2021
Godfather & the importance of health to happiness. Or not
(517 words)It is my understanding that in some convalescent settings, many of the faithful turn to prayer.Me, I turned to Hyman Roth.Roth was the wise Jewish gangster (modeled after Meyer Lansky) who in “Godfather II” memorably counsels young Michael Corleone on relationships, trust and how dessert cake can be used to demonstrate equality in Third World plunder distribution.And, an enfeebled old
April 8, 2021
Toe surgery results: Laid up!
(480 words)I was intrigued when an hour prior to surgery my foot doctor said my toe fusion procedure is one of his favorite operations. He has favorites?“Oh,” he said, “It’s just fun. You hammer in these little brackets and you put the little pins in. You saw some little bones.”I didn’t realize some operations were more fun than others. Fix this. Remove that. Sure, there’s that part of every
March 25, 2021
Parkinson's update: Seeing brain surgeon today (hoping he detects one)
(562 words)
Today’s the day we learn if a deep brain stimulation procedure is even possible for a man so shallow-minded he gets thrown off track at just the thought that there exists in Peru a body of water named Lake Titicaca
Pronounced “TITTY-caca.”
TITTY-caca!
Hilarious!
… Now where was I?
Oh, right.
Deep Brain Stimulation!
DBS is a groundbreaking Parkinson’s Disease treatment that
Today’s the day we learn if a deep brain stimulation procedure is even possible for a man so shallow-minded he gets thrown off track at just the thought that there exists in Peru a body of water named Lake Titicaca
Pronounced “TITTY-caca.”
TITTY-caca!
Hilarious!
… Now where was I?
Oh, right.
Deep Brain Stimulation!
DBS is a groundbreaking Parkinson’s Disease treatment that
March 11, 2021
Spa boner etiquette & my big toe operation
(792 words)The podiatrist looked at my left foot with a puzzled expression. He said he’d never seen anything like it.The four lesser toes were uniformly straight and pointing forward in line with the foot. But the big toe was pointing about 40 degrees in the other direction.The captain was abandoning ship.“Are you sure you never had an injury, some instigating incident years ago that would cause
March 5, 2021
"Blazing Saddles" & the rise of cancel culture
(715 words)
It’s only my third favorite Mel Brooks movie (behind “Young Frankenstein” and “Silent Movie”) and I find the ending too contrived to even watch. But “Blazing Saddles” has instructive elements for these fraught cancel-culture times.
I’m talking about the scene where Cleavon Little, playing the newly appointed black sheriff to the racist white town folk of frontier Rock Ridge, rides
It’s only my third favorite Mel Brooks movie (behind “Young Frankenstein” and “Silent Movie”) and I find the ending too contrived to even watch. But “Blazing Saddles” has instructive elements for these fraught cancel-culture times.
I’m talking about the scene where Cleavon Little, playing the newly appointed black sheriff to the racist white town folk of frontier Rock Ridge, rides
March 1, 2021
What happened during the 5 minutes before I went live on-air with an audience of 1.5 million truckers
The phone rang at the designated time. It was the producer for the Road Dog Trucker Sirius Satellite Radio Show. They reach about 1.5 million truckers each day. They asked me to be on Saturday to tell Fred Rogers/Latrobe neighborhood stories.I don’t think people are aware, but I get very nervous prior to a high profile guest spot like this one.What if I say something that might offend the
