Chris Rodell's Blog, page 12

Happy Birthday, Arnold Palmer! (excerpts from old interviews)

                            Had we not lost him in ’16, tomorrow would have been Arnold Palmer’s 92nd birthday. It has me wondering if had he lived I might have finally been able to beat him golfing. Probably not. Feeling sweet nostalgia, I went through some of my old interviews with him from his Latrobe offices and am happy to share some of the more lively exchanges right here. Questions include

August tweets of the month (may contain some nudity)

Sorry to let you down, but I was just kiddin' about the nudity. I hear nudity can really drive up the numbers so I thought I might as well try. All you get are tweets -- although some nudity is implied ... • If you think you and your spouse argue over traditional breadwinner roles, be thankful at least you're not nudists. Nudist couples really resent being told who wears the pants in the family.

I'm lazy, you're busy. Which is worse?

                                         (950 words)The story has now become legend and is recounted scornfully whenever I encounter any of the principles or their descendants in public. The details are intended to embarrass.Don’t they understand it’s impossible to embarrass the man whose entire career has been one long self-inflicted embarrassment?Here’s their version of what

I told black man they all look alike

  I was yesterday guilty of saying one of the most stereotypical racist statements from our long shameful history of bigotry.I told a black man they all looked alike.Well, two of ‘em do.Can you believe it? Me, a Biden-votin’, Obama-lovin’, anthem-kneeler defendin’, LBGQUT-etc/whatever embracin’, MAGA bashin’, QAnon ridiculin’, immigrant welcome wagon drivin’, progressive said something blatantly

Wild chickens roaming our yard

 (440 words)You’d think the guy who drinks the Wild Turkey would have been the first to see the wild chickens, but you’d be mistaken.Still haven’t seen them. Maybe if I keep drinking more of the one I’ll see the other.I don’t know how comfortable I am living up in the woods with a flock of wild chickens.At least we assume they’re wild. They don’t have collars or respond to universal commands like

Evan & Elle pitch letter

Regular blog readers, please pardon the deviation. I needed a place to link my pitch letter for my new novel. Perhaps you'll find it interesting ...Admirers have long declared “Romeo & Juliette” a “timeless” love story. They are mistaken. True timelessness can only be achieved in the places where time never ends. 
This is the story of Evan and Elle, a pair of soulmates from mysterious realms

July Tweets of the Month

 • It’s discouraging to see how many old friends have toiled at lucrative careers and are now one-by-one leaving the rat race, while I slog on, in many ways a bottom line failure. The good news I’ll one day soon have the track all to myself and every day will feel like a victory lap.
• If all the people who so casually remark to relative strangers, "Now, I'm not racist, but ..." suddenly and

Why am I such a crybaby?

(657 words)The second most common question asked of me by my daughters, ages 20 and 15,  — and I’m paraphrasing here — is: “Why don’t you  have the common decency to leave the room when you have to fart?”The answer is if I left the room every time I had to fart I’d never be in the room and despite the odor and commotion they’d miss me so I just let ‘er rip.The first most common question is, “Why

On July 4th, my response to a decorated officer hinting I'm un-American

 (658 words)

I had a disheartening encounter with an illustrious and once-avid reader this week who declared me as anti-American over — take a wild guess.

Yes, it all comes down to Donald Trump.

Did you think we were at odds over the legacy of Alex Trebec?

This fresh antagonist is a lavishly-decorated, recently retired officer. He served with distinction over the last four decades. He’s been

Tweets of the Month

• If the love of money is truly the root of all evil then I must be one of the world's most virtuous men. Money and me, we're barely on speaking terms.• I guess it's because the name seems both generic yet familiar, but Rolls-Royce was founded by Henry Royce & Charles Rolls. Who knew? It's like learning my favorite music genre was founded by William Rock & Todd Roll.• Many of us try & include