Chris Rodell's Blog, page 17
July 29, 2020
Tin Man Shoe Shine open for business!
(510 words)
Here’s a sampling of the supportive comments I got when I told friends I am starting a shoe shine business:
“You’re kidding, right?
“Did Val throw you out before or after you told her?”
“What? Did you think opening a bait shop would thrust you into a tougher tax bracket?”
As an old worm farmer, I should have thought of a bait shop first. Worms are good office
Here’s a sampling of the supportive comments I got when I told friends I am starting a shoe shine business:
“You’re kidding, right?
“Did Val throw you out before or after you told her?”
“What? Did you think opening a bait shop would thrust you into a tougher tax bracket?”
As an old worm farmer, I should have thought of a bait shop first. Worms are good office
July 27, 2020
Friend asks, "Life, is that all there is?"
(535 words)
My friend could no longer conceal his melancholy. He set down his craft beer, looked at me plaintively and asked, “I wake up everyday, wonder about the world and ask myself, ‘Is this all there is?’”
The sentiment is baffling to me because I have one of those indestructible egos that has me thinking having Friday afternoon porch drinks with me should be plenty.
Sure,
My friend could no longer conceal his melancholy. He set down his craft beer, looked at me plaintively and asked, “I wake up everyday, wonder about the world and ask myself, ‘Is this all there is?’”
The sentiment is baffling to me because I have one of those indestructible egos that has me thinking having Friday afternoon porch drinks with me should be plenty.
Sure,
July 20, 2020
I drank alone
(707 words)
It was 1985 when George Thorogood released “I Drink Alone,” his excellent ode to solitary inebriation. I first heard it in a place where drinking alone was a logistical impossibility.
All hail Athens, Ohio!
With nearly 15,000 Ohio University suds guzzlers packed into a small college town with 72 bars within knee-crawling distance the party never ended
I called it
It was 1985 when George Thorogood released “I Drink Alone,” his excellent ode to solitary inebriation. I first heard it in a place where drinking alone was a logistical impossibility.
All hail Athens, Ohio!
With nearly 15,000 Ohio University suds guzzlers packed into a small college town with 72 bars within knee-crawling distance the party never ended
I called it
July 15, 2020
Today my 5th anniversary at Tin Lizzy; Stop in!
(667 words)
Had I known I was destined for local infamy, I would have certainly kept the registered legal notice.
Because it was historic. I mean, lots of garden variety bums get thrown out of Latrobe bars, but I’ve never heard of any who’ve been evicted from one.
It takes real staying power to require an attorney to file papers demanding your removal.
Well, either staying
Had I known I was destined for local infamy, I would have certainly kept the registered legal notice.
Because it was historic. I mean, lots of garden variety bums get thrown out of Latrobe bars, but I’ve never heard of any who’ve been evicted from one.
It takes real staying power to require an attorney to file papers demanding your removal.
Well, either staying
July 13, 2020
A mishmash of catch-up items
I let an important “professional” anniversary pass without comment the week before last. June 30 marked the 28th year since I walked out on the last job I’ll likely ever have. Thus, I’ve only had three jobs since I began sprouting chest hairs — and one of them was at the Pizza Hut. I quit working for the man because I was convinced I had a bright and lucrative future as an author/freelance
June 15, 2020
White privilege, Black Chris & my court appearance
(655 words)
I can’t fathom what would have happened to Black Chris, but here’s what happened to White Chris last week when he went to court to contest a $234 traffic citation.
White Chris got off.
He told some jokes, made nice with the state trooper and the district justice and went home singing a happy tune.
White privilege? Not nearly enough to satisfy White Chris.
Honestly,
I can’t fathom what would have happened to Black Chris, but here’s what happened to White Chris last week when he went to court to contest a $234 traffic citation.
White Chris got off.
He told some jokes, made nice with the state trooper and the district justice and went home singing a happy tune.
White privilege? Not nearly enough to satisfy White Chris.
Honestly,
June 12, 2020
Our appearance, our souls & what bacon has to do with it
(564 words)
A very attractive woman told me I am a very handsome man. She wasn’t hitting on me, damn it. I think she was just being sweet, so her compliment made me sad.
It all started over my Covid Coif. I hadn’t had a hair cut in three months. You’d think my hair would have been grateful. It had found sanctuary, an autonomous zone where it needed not worry about scissored violence.
A very attractive woman told me I am a very handsome man. She wasn’t hitting on me, damn it. I think she was just being sweet, so her compliment made me sad.
It all started over my Covid Coif. I hadn’t had a hair cut in three months. You’d think my hair would have been grateful. It had found sanctuary, an autonomous zone where it needed not worry about scissored violence.
June 5, 2020
A law-'n'-order guy who stands/sits with protesters
(457 words)
I was staring out the window as the nurse announced my blood pressure result like she was announcing I’d just won a new car.
“You’re 98/68!” she said. “That’s great. Many men your age are 140/115.”
This low BP will contribute to my theory that I’m more Muppet than man. The similarities are striking. Muppets have no discernible heartbeat or obvious means of support and
I was staring out the window as the nurse announced my blood pressure result like she was announcing I’d just won a new car.
“You’re 98/68!” she said. “That’s great. Many men your age are 140/115.”
This low BP will contribute to my theory that I’m more Muppet than man. The similarities are striking. Muppets have no discernible heartbeat or obvious means of support and
May 31, 2020
May tweets: Serious, silly & sexy (1)
• Conservative whites who become livid when wished Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas think liberal blacks over-reacting about unarmed blacks getting murdered by conservative whites.
• Leonardo da Vinci said, “The human foot is a masterpiece of engineering and a work of art.” Given the scope of his admirations it’s surprising his most famous work is Mona Lisa and not Mona Lisa’s
• Leonardo da Vinci said, “The human foot is a masterpiece of engineering and a work of art.” Given the scope of his admirations it’s surprising his most famous work is Mona Lisa and not Mona Lisa’s
DRAFT: May tweets
Please wait. A properly edited version will appear tomorrow ...
Conservative whites who become livid when wished Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas think blacks over-reacting about unarmed blacks getting murdered by conservative whites.
Leonardo da Vinci said, “The human foot is a masterpiece of engineering and a work of art.” Given the scope of his admirations it’s surprising his
Conservative whites who become livid when wished Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas think blacks over-reacting about unarmed blacks getting murdered by conservative whites.
Leonardo da Vinci said, “The human foot is a masterpiece of engineering and a work of art.” Given the scope of his admirations it’s surprising his
