Chris Rodell's Blog, page 18
May 29, 2020
Birthdays; Dylan & this blog & my Michael Jordan story
(940 words)
This past weekend this blog turned 12 and Bob Dylan, 79. It is pure coincidence, but I’ve always used Dylan as a creative benchmark against which I measure the blog’s success.
By that standard the blog is clearly superior to Dylan and has been since Day 1.
The blog, you see, was communicating in complete sentences since its inception, something Dylan didn’t do until he
This past weekend this blog turned 12 and Bob Dylan, 79. It is pure coincidence, but I’ve always used Dylan as a creative benchmark against which I measure the blog’s success.
By that standard the blog is clearly superior to Dylan and has been since Day 1.
The blog, you see, was communicating in complete sentences since its inception, something Dylan didn’t do until he
May 20, 2020
#ObamaGate: My theories, your conspiracies
(542 words)
I think it would be beneficial if scientists devoted their efforts to enlarging the coronavirus. I don’t mean statistically or theoretically. I’m talking about making each actual virus larger.
Like the size of a kickball.
We’re talking bigly.
See, one of the problems I see with coronavirus is you can’t see coronavirus. It’s invisible. Hidden enemy.
That means
I think it would be beneficial if scientists devoted their efforts to enlarging the coronavirus. I don’t mean statistically or theoretically. I’m talking about making each actual virus larger.
Like the size of a kickball.
We’re talking bigly.
See, one of the problems I see with coronavirus is you can’t see coronavirus. It’s invisible. Hidden enemy.
That means
May 13, 2020
Stuff I'll do if I become Last Man on Earth
(645 words)
I was wondering what I’d do if things take a bad turn and I wind up being the last man on earth, which was the premise of an often-hilarious Will Forte show (2015-’18, Fox) called, duh, “Last Man on Earth.”
That’s how it feels some days. I miss both the refined and the rabble.
Here’s what I’d do assuming certain logistics left the joint reasonably functional and I become
I was wondering what I’d do if things take a bad turn and I wind up being the last man on earth, which was the premise of an often-hilarious Will Forte show (2015-’18, Fox) called, duh, “Last Man on Earth.”
That’s how it feels some days. I miss both the refined and the rabble.
Here’s what I’d do assuming certain logistics left the joint reasonably functional and I become
May 7, 2020
Help me name my shoe shine business!
(946 words)
This isn’t the first time I’ve had a proprietary hand at naming stuff. Throughout my life I’ve helped or outright named three businesses, two humans and one canine. Some have prospered better than others.
Our first dog was a sweet-souled Golden Retriever with near-zero evidence of having a brain. Val suggested we name him Casey. I suggested we name him Peev because sooner or
This isn’t the first time I’ve had a proprietary hand at naming stuff. Throughout my life I’ve helped or outright named three businesses, two humans and one canine. Some have prospered better than others.
Our first dog was a sweet-souled Golden Retriever with near-zero evidence of having a brain. Val suggested we name him Casey. I suggested we name him Peev because sooner or
May 6, 2020
Yes, we need testing, just not the kind you think ...
(523 words)
So much of our tottering economy’s hoped-for rebound is pegged to testing. It’s all we’re hearing.
The states need tests. The municipalities need tests. The hospitals need tests.
I see many restaurants and businesses are looking to gun-like devices that when pointed at a potential customer’s forehead will light up when that person is registering a telltale fever.
My
So much of our tottering economy’s hoped-for rebound is pegged to testing. It’s all we’re hearing.
The states need tests. The municipalities need tests. The hospitals need tests.
I see many restaurants and businesses are looking to gun-like devices that when pointed at a potential customer’s forehead will light up when that person is registering a telltale fever.
My
May 4, 2020
Random thoughts on baseball's longest game & Tin Lizzy lawn care
Looks like it’s yet another day at The Tin Lizzy where it’s just me and Buck — and you know what that means.
Every toilet seat in the building is UP!
Because you just never know …
• I’m about finished with the best book I’ve read in 10 years. It’s “Bottom of the 33rd: Hope, Redemption & Baseball’s Longest Game,” by Dan Barry (2012). I’ve read a lot of great books during that time,
Every toilet seat in the building is UP!
Because you just never know …
• I’m about finished with the best book I’ve read in 10 years. It’s “Bottom of the 33rd: Hope, Redemption & Baseball’s Longest Game,” by Dan Barry (2012). I’ve read a lot of great books during that time,
May 1, 2020
How come it took COVID to get to warp speed?
(612 words)
I think we’re all excited to learn efforts to vanquish coronavirus will now proceed at warp speed because it seems like real action’s about to commence.
Set phasers on disinfect!
It’s all hands on deck. We’re ramping up. Fasten your seatbelts. Get in the fast lane, Grandma … the bingo game is ready to roll!
(Oh, what I wouldn’t give to hear Mike Lange broadcasting a
I think we’re all excited to learn efforts to vanquish coronavirus will now proceed at warp speed because it seems like real action’s about to commence.
Set phasers on disinfect!
It’s all hands on deck. We’re ramping up. Fasten your seatbelts. Get in the fast lane, Grandma … the bingo game is ready to roll!
(Oh, what I wouldn’t give to hear Mike Lange broadcasting a
April 30, 2020
Tweets of the Month
• I’m friends with about a dozen guys who if they were to die of coronavirus would gladly have engraved on their tombstones, "I STILL say it's a hoax!”
• How many of you could stand living in a world where workers we now deem essential earn what you earn and you what they? As a writer who earns squat I exempt myself from the question.
• How many of you would take a pill that would
• How many of you could stand living in a world where workers we now deem essential earn what you earn and you what they? As a writer who earns squat I exempt myself from the question.
• How many of you would take a pill that would
April 27, 2020
Romancing the shoe; arch comments on footwear
(1,110 words)
I don’t recall the instigation for the research, but the result stuck with me:
Man, the only animal to spend 80 percent of its entire day either in bed or on its ass, is the only one to feel the need to pay lavish amounts for footwear.
How much?
Consumer websites calculate the amount is $93 billion.
That’s just here in America, a land that’s mostly been paved and
I don’t recall the instigation for the research, but the result stuck with me:
Man, the only animal to spend 80 percent of its entire day either in bed or on its ass, is the only one to feel the need to pay lavish amounts for footwear.
How much?
Consumer websites calculate the amount is $93 billion.
That’s just here in America, a land that’s mostly been paved and
April 20, 2020
What constant prayer can achieve
(594 words)
It was way back in ’08 when I first proposed that America needed a “National No-Prayer Week.”
The premise was that maybe after more than 2,000 years of fervent prayer — prayer for everything from world peace to that the floating guppie would reanimate — maybe God had fallen behind, that maybe He could use a break.
I wasn’t suggesting anyone stop believing in God. Just
It was way back in ’08 when I first proposed that America needed a “National No-Prayer Week.”
The premise was that maybe after more than 2,000 years of fervent prayer — prayer for everything from world peace to that the floating guppie would reanimate — maybe God had fallen behind, that maybe He could use a break.
I wasn’t suggesting anyone stop believing in God. Just
