Lisa Jacobson's Blog, page 48

How to Draw Closer Together…When You’ve Drifted Apart

She wasn’t sure how it even happened.

It’s not what either of them had ever intended.

There was a time when she felt close to him, but now . . . somehow . . . they seemed so far away from each other.

I suppose they could blame it on the kids. I mean, it’s a lot of time and work to raise children.

Maybe it was her health issues and all that she’d gone through as of late.

Or maybe it was his job. It seemed to take everything out of him and he was away a lot of the time.

Perhaps it was all the problems with extended family, or the ministry. So much to do and so many people to care for.

In any case, here they both were. Living in the same home. Standing in the same spot. But feeling a cavernous distance between them.

So how do you draw closer together . . . when you’ve drifted so far apart?

7 Ways to Draw Closer Together

1.  Be the one to make the first move.  Don’t wait for him to start the steps forward. Reach across the span and see if you can’t bridge the distance.

2.  Be willing to open up.  Be the one who starts the discussion – just make sure it’s encouraging, building-up talk.  This isn’t the time to address all the things wrong with him, or what you’re unhappy about. Think of at least one small thing you can be thankful for and begin there.

3.   Please don’t give up.  No matter how discouraged you are with where you’re both at. Dig in for the long haul and determine to make it work.

4.   Slowly move together. In the same way you had slowly moved away. Lasting changes are often made incrementally and gently over time.  And before you know it, you’re looking back and seeing how far you’ve both come.

5.   Reach out for help.  Friends, we were not made to walk through this life alone. Call out to a friend, or a godly, older couple at your church that you can ask for help. Get professional counseling, if it’s necessary.  A wise, outside perspective can make all the difference in many cases.

6.   Pray for your marriage.  Ask God to renew your love for each other.  Ask Him to show you any blind spots or barriers that are between you. Pray with faith and pray for change. 

7.   Remember that you love each other.  Because sometimes we lose sight of that, don’t we? We get caught up in the busyness and pressures of daily life, that we forget that we actually like each other. That we used to be crazy-in-love with on another.

And when that happens?

Sometimes the best thing you can do is to take a little time out and time away to remind each other of those things that drew you together in the first place. And don’t wait for your 25th anniversary or that dream cruise to come about!  Instead, put aside a special time so the two of you can pull away and renew your love for one another.

And with that in mind . . . . . (are you ready for this?) . . . .

We’re offering a chance to win this fabulous Stay-at-Home Date Night Giveaway!

Stay-At-Home Date-Night Giveaway

Are you ready for an unforgettable date night? I’ve teamed up with some of my favorite bloggers to offer you one of the best stay-at-home date nights ever!

Alison of Pint-Sized Treasures

Crystal of Crystal & Co.

MaryEllen of ImperfectHomemaker

Becky of YourModernFamily

Melissa of AVirtuousWoman

And together we’ve put this HUGE package of date-night goodies that will arrive on your doorstep just in time for Valentine’s Day!

So what’s included in this amazing date night package?

Here’s the scoop!

Love jewelry? What woman doesn’t! Enjoy this $100 gift certificate to Luxe Design. They offer a fabulous selection of personalized and sentimental jewelry. They have a number of items that would be perfect for wives who wish to wear a tangible reminder of their choice to love their husband.

What’s Valentine’s Day without chocolate? Of course, we only included the very best for our readers — Godiva Truffles!

Are you a Dayspring fan? We are offering some super-fun gifts form them to celebrate your marriage! These will add the perfect pinch of romance and sentimentality to your at-home date with these gifts below:

Mr and Mrs. Coupon Book
Mr. and Mrs. Love Note Set
Love Never Fails Plaque

How about some items to help you freshen up for your date? Don’t worry, we thought about that too! The winner will enjoy the following products from a fun place to shop for moms — Zulily.

Liz Claiborne Spark Eau de Parfum
Adrienne Vittadini Bright Five-Piece Lip Gloss Set
City Color Cosmetics Vibrant Palette Makeup Set
Raspberry Foaming Milkshake Bubble Bath

For some awesome, inspirational reading, we are also including hard copies of the following books:

100 Ways to Love Your Husband: A Life-Long Journey of Learning to Love (by Lisa Jacobson)
100 Ways to Love Your Wife: A Life-long Journey of Learning to Love (By Matthew Jacobson)

Since it’s Valentine’s Day, we thought you needed some extra sparkle!

Enjoy some extra shopping by choosing one gift from either of these stores (item will be shipped separately from the winner’s package):

Monarch Jewelry
JoJos

To finish it all off, enjoy a good scrub and long soak with these natural bath products. Get ready for some pampering with this AMAZING basket of goodies from Bend Soap Company.

3 Lotions
3 Soaps
1 Milk Bath in a bag
2 Travel Size soaps
2 soap dishes
1 Natural Loofah Pouch
1 Foot Scrub Brush
$25 Gift certificate

These goodies all come in a reusable stylish antique copper tin. Soaps and lotions are in the following fabulous scents: Oatmeal and Honey, Cranberry Wassail, English Garden, Lemon Verbena, Island Coconut, Sweet Orange, Almond Delight, Eucalyptus Spearmint, and High Desert Rain.

Bend Soap Company makes natural goat milk soaps and lotions on their farm in Bend, Oregon. Made with only the highest quality of ingredients, including farm fresh goat milk, coconut oil, olive oil, and palm oil. The luxurious, handmade products soothe dry skin and offer a nourishing elixir to the skin in place of the common commercial skin care products on the market.

Choose to Love Your Skin … One bar at a time with Bend Soap Company. Visit their website and order online at BendSoap.com

Enter below for your chance to enter this HUGE Stay-at-home Date Night Package.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

The post How to Draw Closer Together…When You’ve Drifted Apart appeared first on Club 31 Women.

Baked Macaroni and Cheese {& Walking Through Storms}

Sometimes, we’re aware that were about to walk into a storm.

We can sense the temperature changing before there is any evidence. We just know. We tense, brace ourselves, and try to prepare our minds with probable outcomes.

Other times, the storm hits unexpectedly.

Suddenly, we’re swept up in a cloud and we feel battered on all sides, and we’re left wondering, “what just happened?” Of course, I’m not talking about a physical storm like what these people are going through. I’m talking about a spiritual storm.

Out of the two storms, I prefer the unexpected. I don’t have time to think about it coming. It’s just there and I have to live in the moment and let the chips fall where they may, so to speak.

I Am Not Alone

Currently, I’m in a bit of a storm right now. One that I knew was coming. I knew there was nothing I could do to stop it from coming. I knew that I shouldn’t stop it from coming. I knew that it needed to happen.

And I know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to his purpose. ~ Romans 8:28

I’ve read that verse a million times. I even heard my father-in-law quote it in his sermon this past Sunday. For some reason, as I was writing this post, sorting out some of my thoughts, I thought of this verse.

God has a way of pushing our limits to stretch our thinking because He wants us to believe in Him.

To have faith in Him. To trust His purpose. He doesn’t want us sheltered from the storm because He gives us strength for anything. (Philippians 4:13)

We can endure the storm, no matter its length, because He loves us. (1 Corinthian 13:7) We can carry on even though we are weighed down with the world on our shoulders because we are not alone. (Hebrews 13:5 )

I am not alone — with Him I’m strong enough to handle anything — and He is working everything together for His purpose.

Well, if that’s not a perfectly comforting little pep talk, then I don’t know what is.

Something else that is comforting? Baked macaroni and cheese. The cheesy goodness, crisp top layer, and every carb lovers dream come true – another recipe that is perfect for potlucks, bringing a meal to someone, or serving alongside a main dish.

You could turn this into a main dish and add cooked chopped chicken or crumbled bacon.

If you wanted to get really crazy, you could make your own Hamburger Helper version. Just brown some ground beef and add a taco seasoning packet and layer it in with the pasta. Mmm, that could be really yummy!

The possibilities are endless with a great mac and cheese recipe.

Enjoy!

~ Chels {Catz in the Kitchen}

*Are you walking through a storm right now? Is there something we can pray for you about? Comment below….

Print
Baked Macaroni and Cheese


Author: Chelsia Rief
Recipe type: Main



Serves: 6-8 servings
 

A simple baked macaroni and cheese that’s creamy on the inside and crispy on top. The perfect side dish to any occasion.

Ingredients

1 lb. elbow macaroni
3-4 tbsp butter, chilled & cubed
2-4 cups grated cheddar cheese, I usually use around 3-3½ cups
1-2 cups milk
salt and pepper, to taste




Instructions

Pre-heat oven to 375 degrees. Grease a deep, large casserole dish with non-stick cooking spray.
Bring a large pot of water to boil and cook the pasta according to the box’s directions. Drain.
Place a small layer of pasta on the bottom of the baking dish. Sprinkle salt and pepper lightly over the pasta. Place 5 dots of butter over the pasta and top with some shredded cheese. ( I usually eyeball all of this.)
Repeat this layer until you’ve run out of pasta or have come to the top of the dish, ending with the topping of shredded cheese. Pour the milk into the baking dish-basically, guess on covering about a ⅓ of the baking dish in milk. This is what makes the creaminess.
Place the baking dish uncovered in the oven and bake for 20 minutes. After 20 minutes, cover with baking dish with a lid or foil and bake for an additional 20 minutes.



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Chels is a born-again believer who dreams of living with all four seasons in Central Oregon. She’s a wife and stay at home mom to her three vivacious kiddos whom she home schools. When she’s not schooling or chasing after her munchkins, she enjoys reading, bubble baths, and finding clothing/kitchen treasure at thrift stores. But more than all of that, she finds refuge in her kitchen where she and her husband can be found cooking and baking up a storm for their family and friends. You can read more about her culinary endeavors at CatzintheKitchen.com.

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The post Baked Macaroni and Cheese {& Walking Through Storms} appeared first on Club 31 Women.

The Distracted Homemaker’s Secret Weapon

“Honey, when did you put this load in the washer?” my husband calls to me from the laundry room.  (For some strange reason he enjoys helping with laundry.)

“Um…I don’t quite remember,” I answer sheepishly.

 *******

On another day, the conversation might go something like:

Husband: “What’s that smell?”

Me: “Smell?  I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Then from the kitchen a child hollers out: “Mom!  Your pot is boiling over!”

 ******

I have an ailment that I’ve dubbed “Homemaker’s ADD.” 

It’s a condition that makes it incredibly difficult to focus on the task at hand.  Sudden bursts of creativity send me running to the piano to plunk out the motif I just heard in my head.  Remembering I have a load of laundry in the wash sends me running to the laundry room while I’m in the middle of cooking dinner.  The kitchen floor only gets halfway swept before I decide I’d better go put the kids clean clothes in their rooms before they go to bed.  But I often forget to return to these half-done tasks, leaving each room of the house a half-mess at the end of the day.

Even though I’ve begun making concerted efforts to focus on one thing and not to leave until I’ve seen it through to the end, I still have distractions that I have no control over: a diaper that needs to be changed, spilled milk that needs to be cleaned, or a scraped knee to kiss.

Yet I’ve found one thing that has been a tremendous antidote to my highly distract-able tendencies.  When I use it, I actually remember to put the laundry in the dryer, to turn off the boiling pot, or even to finish sweeping the kitchen floor.

My secret weapon?  A simple timer.

I now use a timer for pretty much everything I do around the house.

As soon as I start a load of laundry, I set the timer for 45 minutes (the amount of time it takes for a cycle on my washing machine.)  When the timer goes off, I immediately put the laundry in the dryer then set the timer for another 45 minutes.  When the timer goes off again, I immediately remove the laundry from the dryer, fold it, and put it away.  (By the way, folding laundry goes really fast when you only fold one load at a time instead of letting a massive pile accumulate!)

I even use the timer for things like sweeping the floor, setting it for the approximate amount of time it would take me to finish.  This way, even if I get distracted and leave the room, I will be startled with a loud reminder to go back and finish the job when I hear the timer go off.

I highly recommend using a timer that beeps continuously until you turn it off.  If you use a timer that ticks down and then dings once, it’s very easy not to notice the sound.

I also recommend avoiding timers that are on your phone or computer.  If you’re the easily distracted type, it will be too easy to get sucked into the swirling vortex of social media and find that you’ve wasted valuable minutes of your day.  I have a radio/CD player/mp3 player that has a kitchen timer built into it, but you could use a simple stopwatch.

Some other ways you can use a timer in your home:

1. Use it to race against the clock.  When there’s a job to be done, set your timer for a reasonable amount of time, and make it a game to see if you can beat it.  This is a great way to motivate both yourself and your kids when nobody’s in the mood to work!

2. Overcome your overwhelm.  When the amount of work you need to do seems monumental, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed and give up before you even start.  Set the timer for 15 minutes, roll up your sleeves, and work as hard and fast as you can until the timer goes off.  Chances are you’ll look around and say, “This room wasn’t as messy as I thought it was!”

3. Help your kids wait.  When you need to finish washing the dishes and your kids are begging you to please, PLEASE read them a story, you can use the timer to help them wait until you’re done.  Tell them you’re finishing the dishes, but that you promise you will read when you’re done.  Then set the timer for the amount of time you need to finish and tell them that when the timer dings it will be time to read!  It will be much easier for them to wait without continuing to beg you, knowing that there will be an end to their wait and being able to visually see how much longer their wait will be.

4. Enjoy some down-time.  Every woman needs time to rest and recharge herself, but if we’re not careful it can be easy to let that time stretch into more than it needs to be and end up neglecting work that needs to be done.  When you’re sitting down to read, browse Pinterest, or work on a hobby, set a timer to bring you back to reality when you’ve had enough time to relax.  It’s fine to enjoy ourselves, but those times need not stretch on indefinitely.

 ******

*Can you think of any more ways using a timer would help you?  You can also take a look at 6 more of my favorite tools for being productive as a homemaker.

~ MaryEllen, ImperfectHomemaker

If you’re looking for a good and affordable timer? This is the one I recommend because you can SEE it, HEAR it, and has a magnetic back too. Very handy! (Can also be used a stopwatch – which can be fun and useful too!). ~ Lisa Jacobson

Available here: The Wrenwane Digital Timer

 

MaryEllen is a stay at home wife and mommy who is passionate about inspiring other homemakers to be all that God wants them to be.  She blogs at Imperfect Homemaker where she shares her articles and inspiration about homemaking, homeschooling, and natural living. You can also follow MaryEllen on Facebook, Pinterest, and Twitter.

(This post may contain affiliate links. Read my full disclosure.)

*I’m currently offering this FREE eBook, Raising Heavenly-Minded, Down-to-Earth Kids: Bringing Up Children With Hearts Set On Heaven and Feet Planted On Solid Ground for new subscribers. If you would like these posts delivered directly to your inbox, simply subscribe below.

The post The Distracted Homemaker’s Secret Weapon appeared first on Club 31 Women.

What to Do…When You’re Wrestling With Doubt

Doubt is a large part of everyone’s life.

Maybe you doubt if the economy will ever improve, or if a great revival will hit our cities again as they have in the past.

Tonight I am doubtful that this piece of chocolate cake is big enough to make me feel better.

But there is something much more serious that you and I both doubt. We often doubt God.

No matter how strong of a Christian we think we are, no matter how consistent we are in our quiet time, or how many verses we have locked up tight in our memory, you doubt God. And so do I.

We may not struggle with the big doubts, like the ones about God’s character or his gift of salvation.

We have smaller doubts.

But here is a nasty little secret that I have learned. Our “small doubts” generally reveal that we don’t really understand the big truths about God.

Let me explain . . . .

Doubting God’s Character

We all get impatient; some of us more than others, but we have all struggled and failed in this area. Let’s say that you are a little crunched for time and are standing in the check-out line at the grocery store. In front of you another lady has a cart overflowing with items. So far you have been able to wait patiently despite the ticking of the clock. But when she pulls out her massive binder of coupons your patience is replaced by shock, then annoyance, and then your internal complaints begin. But let’s back up.

We say that God is a God of providence.

That means He so governs our lives that even  the people we run into and events in our days are put there by God. So when we are impatient we are challenging His providence. We balk and complaining about His plan for our day. We doubt that anything good can come out of interruptions.

While it is good to make plans and have to-do lists, God’s plan for our day may look very different than we expect–and that is good because “this is the day that the Lord has made” (Ps. 118:24) and His plans are better than ours.

The LORD has established his throne in the heavens, and his kingdom rules over all..

 ~ Psalm 103:19 ~ 

Doubting God’s Grace

As Protestants we loudly proclaim that we cannot earn our salvation, that it is a free gift from God. And yet, in our daily Christian life, we act as though we have to earn God’s favor.

How many of us feel super guilty and less loved by God when we haven’t had our devotions in a while? How many times have we felt like we couldn’t approach God in prayer because we had ignored him for a period of time or sinned too much? I know I sometimes do.

In those moments we are actually doubting Christ’s work on the cross. We begin to believe that it was not enough and that somehow we can and must earn more of God’s love. God’s love for us is the same whether we memorize the entire Bible or can barely say one verse.  Christ paid it ALL.

Every time we sin we are doubting God in some way.

Do you worry? Then you are doubting God’s providential care.

Do you pray without really believing God will answer? You are doubting his power and his promise to hear his people.

Do you feel that God has abandoned you? You are doubting Christ’s words when he said that he is with us always.

Do you struggle with anger, especially anger towards God? Then you are doubting his wisdom and goodness.

Doubt, while seemingly small, is a way of saying that God cannot be trusted. We must and can fight against it.

The cure to all this doubt is simple and difficult all at the same time. It is simple in that it only requires faith. But faith is cultivated and grown through the ministry of the word of God.

We must read and study and meditate and talk about the word of God so that we might see His goodness and grace from every possible angle.

Doubt discovers difficulties which it never solves; it creates hesitancy, despondency, despair.  Its progress is the decay of comfort, the death of peace. “Believe!” is the word which speaks life into a man…

~ Charles Spurgeon

With the Man in Mark 9 we must pray, “I believe, help my unbelief” and the Lord whose name is Jehovah Ezer (the Lord my help)  is willing and able to help us.

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope. ~ Romans 15:13

*What are some practical ways you have dealt with the doubt in your life?

Blessings,

Jen Thorn,  JenThorn.com

I grew up in Germany and spent a few years as a missionary kid in Africa. I ended up at Moody Bible Institute where I met my husband and best friend. We have been married 16 years and have 2 boys and 2 girls. We live in the suburbs of Chicago where my husband is a pastor. I love theology and have a passion to help women take their walk with God to a deeper level.

You can find Jen on her blog,  JenThorn.com, as well as on Twitter @Jenlthorn, on Facebook, and on Instagram.

 (This post may contain affiliate links. Read my full disclosure.)

*If you would like these posts delivered directly to your inbox, simply subscribe below (and get 2 FREE eBooks, The 7 Habits of a Highly Fulfilling Marriage and Raising Heavenly-Minded, Down-to-Earth Kids).

The post What to Do…When You’re Wrestling With Doubt appeared first on Club 31 Women.

7 Steps To Raising Up A Courageous Young Son

Seemed it was all settled with just one phonecall.

He called to tell us that he probably wasn’t going to make it home that summer. Instead our 20-year old son was heading to Paris and attending a language-immersion school.

Oh, okay.

He was in his second year at a college back east and there’s no denying that we’d miss him. A lot.

But if this was what he was set on doing? What he believed God would have him do?

Then our blessing went with him.

Although I couldn’t help but ask a few questions before he took off . . . .  

Do you know anyone there?

Nope.

Can you speak the language?

Nope.

Have you ever been there before?

Nope.

(Well, at least no one could ever accuse him of being overly verbose. )

“Please pray that I will be a light for Christ on a dark hill.”

That was his one request.

I didn’t know if I should say anything, but it seemed a fairly bold move to make. To venture into a part of the world that he knew nothing about.  To a place where he didn’t even know the language.

It took some courage.

And as this young man still has three younger brothers left at home, it made me wonder what kinds of things a mom can do to help raise up a brave young man.

Because this world could use a few courageous Christian men.

 

Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the LORD your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you. ~ Deut. 31:6

7 Steps to Raising Up A Courageous Young Son

Always consider him as a young man in the making.

Even when he is still quite small, consider your influence in forming his manhood. I had a friend who commended her 3-year-old who patiently waited while she and I finished up a conversation. She quietly affirmed him, “You’re patient and I like that in a man.”

How powerful for a little boy to hear those words from the woman in his life! She was already addressing him as a man in the making.

Teach him to reach for the heights, but have a heart for the lowly.

We want our boys to conquer mountains, to reach for the stars and so he needs to hear our enthusiastic shouts of “I know you can do it!”. Yet he also needs to listen to our quiet reminders, “Look out for her; she can’t walk like you or me.” or “He’s smaller than you. Be sure and help him out.” A good man is mindful of those who need tender care.

Don’t pick him up every time he falls. 

It’s difficult to resist our mothering impulses to rush out when our boy falters, to help him up and comfort him. But to put it bluntly, this does not make for strong men. As he grows older, the greater gift is to help him find his own strength in Christ, rather than depend on mama’s.

Stand by him until he gets back up.

Always believe that he has what it takes to recover and go at it again. Never give up on him and never give in. Stand by your little man.

Direct him toward daddy as his hero.

Mama will always have a special place in his heart, but direct his eyes toward Daddy (or another older, godly man if dad is not part of the picture). Throughout the day, I might say to one of the boys, “Now, Son, what would your dad think about that?” Or “Your dad is a good one to talk over such things.”—often even if I could answer the question myself. (An encouraging resource for single moms: Kim at NotConsumed.)

Leave no doubt you’re his biggest fan.

Boys generally try to act tough. He doesn’t always show that he’s scared or unsure on the inside. So don’t leave the slightest doubt that you are cheering wholeheartedly from the sidelines as he ventures out into this world. He needs to hear more “Go, Son, go!” than he might let on.

Pray for him every day. 

Your faithful prayers as a mother will be the best gift you could ever give your son. I pray for each son’s protection, for guidance, and for his growth in maturity and strength. Our prayers can carry our sons much farther than our arms ever could.

The Lord bless you, dear mom, to have both the grit and grace to raise up your son into a courageous young man!

We could certainly use a few such men in this world.

In His grace,

 

*If you would like these posts delivered directly to your inbox, simply subscribe below (and get 2 FREE eBooks, The 7 Habits of a Highly Fulfilling Marriage and Raising Heavenly-Minded, Down-to-Earth Kids).

The post 7 Steps To Raising Up A Courageous Young Son appeared first on Club 31 Women.

Using Your Words to Build and to Bless {& Book Giveaway}

Do you see a man who is hasty in his words?

There is more hope for a fool than for him. (Proverbs 29:20).

My family calls me the gap filler.

I’m not sure I’m too keen on that nickname, but I guess I earned it fair and square.

For as long as I can remember, I have loved to talk.

“Karen is a delightful student,” my teacher exclaimed as she visited with my mother during those parent-teacher powwows. “But she does seem to have a tad bit of trouble listening. Especially when I am talking.” I just couldn’t seem to keep my little jaws from flapping. I simply had to add my two cents’ worth. Whenever there was a gap of silence in the teacher’s speech or another student’s comment, you could count on me to fill in the gap. (And I’m sure, in my defense, I felt that what I had to say was way more interesting than whomever else was talking at the time, including my instructor!)

It always bummed me out when my teacher reported that I didn’t listen so well and that I talked too much. But it didn’t bother me enough to motivate a change in my behavior.

I liked filling those gaps.

And, to tell the truth, I still do.

When a group of people is chatting and there is even a small lull in the conversation, if I am not intentional about reining in my tongue, I will rush right in to fill that gap and fill it good.

Now … my husband says my ability to talk is what first attracted him. He loved how I could work a room, making the shy ones feel included. I could converse with the college president and yuck it up with the grocery store bag boy all in the same afternoon.

Yep. My college sweetheart loved how I could talk. So this rather shy guy bought a ring, slipped it on my finger, grabbed my hand, and off we proceeded down the church aisle and into marital bliss. My proficiency at all things linguistic hadn’t bothered him before. In fact, he felt it was an asset. I talked and talked. He smiled and listened. And it really didn’t seem to bother him.

Then, about three days into our honeymoon, he had this thought: “When is she evergonna shut up?” In fact, if I make it to heaven before he does, he’s decided just what should go on my tombstone:

A period.

Ask him why and he’ll declare, “Well, she’ll finally be done yakking!” (He insists my language has no periods, just commas, colons, and semi-colons because there’s always more to come!)

Pause Before You Pipe Up

In a group Bible study or a visit with friends over coffee, I can easily monopolize the conversation. And, in the early days, I didn’t even know it was happening. I just assumed everyone was as dazzled by my words as I was.

I’m not sure how I was first enlightened, but I soon came to discover that often when I was talking, other people in the room were mentally checking out. Or I noticed there were other women in the Bible study or the playgroup who never seemed to give their two cents’ worth.

I just couldn’t figure this out. Didn’t they have anything to say? Didn’t they have something to add to the discussion?

Eventually, I came to realize that perhaps the problem wasn’t with the other people in the group. Gulp. Maybe I was too ready to jump in the minute there was a gap in the conversation. Maybe the other folks needed a pause or two for their thoughts to gel before they could speak them. And maybe, just maybe, if some of us who talk too much would actually zip our lips a minute then these people could have an opportunity to speak up more often.

I knew that things were going to have to change for me if I wanted to use my words well and shed my habit of gap-filling.

In fact, over the years I have given myself a few tools to help in this endeavor.

First — a little rule of thumb (or rule of tongue, perhaps). I only chime in, or respond to the question thrown out by the study leader, about every third time I think I have something to say. And you know what? It comes out just about right, and no one seems to suffer from not hearing the nuggets I withhold.

This practice also works–pause before you pipe up. It works in a group. It also works one-on-one. When the person with whom you are chatting takes a break in their speech, it doesn’t always mean they have finished their thought. They may still be composing the next sentence in their mind. When we take their pause as a green light that it’s our turn to talk, we may actually be interrupting instead. No, not in a rude way–interjecting mid-sentence–but by butting in before they’ve finished their thoughts. Pausing for a bit before we pipe up can help us be both courteous and understanding.

A person who seeks not only to listen but to understand as well is rare — a treasure. And rare treasures are not only hard to find. They are priceless.

We can become such a valuable in the life of those around us when we make listening and understanding our aim.

~ Karen Ehman, author of  KEEP IT SHUT: What to Say, How to Say It and When to Say Nothing at All,

Karen is a Proverbs 31 Ministries author and speaker, as well as a writer for Encouragement For Today, their online devotions that reach over one million women daily. She has authored eight books including the popular LET. IT. GO: How to Stop Running the Show & Start Walking in Faith and her new release KEEP IT SHUT: What to Say, How to Say It and When to Say Nothing at All, both which include a companion DVD Bible study series.

She has been married for over a quarter-century to her college sweetheart Todd and together they raise their three sometimes quarrelsome but mostly charming children in the boondocks of central Michigan. There she enjoys antique hunting, farm market strolling, and processing life with family, friends, and the many teens that gather around her kitchen island for a taste of Mama Karen’s cooking.

You can connect with Karen at karenehman.com where she helps women to live their priorities and love their lives.

(This post may contain affiliate links. Read my full disclosure.)

The Book

Got words? Oh yeah, you do! The average women speaks over 20,000 a day—not to mention the ones she types online. Karen Ehman — a woman whose words have often landed her in a heap of trouble — shares from experience the how’s (and how-not-to’s) of dealing with the tongue in her new book Keep It Shut.

Using biblical examples, as well as Karen’s own personal (and sometimes painful!) stories, Keep It Shut will equip you to know what to say, how best to say it, and when you’d better just keep your lips zipped!

This book will teach you:

The difference between gossip and properly processing with a trusted friend
A helpful grid for using our digital tongues as we talk online or on social media
How to pause before you pounce, attacking the problem but not the person
How to avoid saying something permanently painful just because you are temporarily ticked off
What the Bible teaches about making our speech laced with grace, as sweet as honey, and yet seasoned with salt

Also available is a six-week DVD Bible study designed for group or individual use.

Available for purchase by clicking below: 

Keep It Shut: What to Say, How to Say It, and When to Say Nothing at All

A Book Giveaway

Now I’m delighted to be able to offer a copy of Karen’s new book, Keep It Shut! You can enter as many ways as you’d like below….

a Rafflecopter giveaway

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Layered Taco Dip

I know I just shared a “Mexican” dish with you all last week.

What can I say? I LOVE Mexican food! #cantstopwontstop

This layered taco dip is perfect for this time of year because a lot of people spend their time watching “The Big Game.” Monday night, the big game in our neck of the Oregonian woods was the Duck game!

To tell you the truth, I would not have even known about the game had it not been for Facebook. I’m never on Twitter (my hubby handles all the Twitter feed stuff) and I don’t really listen to the radio much . . . and I never watch live tv.

So I didn’t really even know which night it was on! It was the lady who was ringing me up at the grocery store who asked, “Are you going to watch the Duck game, too?”

My reply, “Is that tonight? Then, no.”

So, there you have it. Basically, I live under a rock.

BUT, if I were to watch “the big game,” I would make this layered taco dip and invite everyone I know over.

Or, if I was invited somewhere to watch the game, I would bring this layered taco dip.

It’s perfect for potlucks, baby shower spreads, taco nights, movie nights. It’s little to no work at all and it is always a hit on whatever table it’s placed!

This recipe is beloved in our family.

My beautiful Nani, Josh’s grandmother, was the one who first shared it with us. Sadly, she passed away in August, which makes this recipe a little bittersweet.  We can’t help but think of her when we make it and eat it.

And in our homes, it’s rightly called, “Nani’s Taco Dip.”

From my family to yours, I hope you enjoy it and happy game day (or whatever)!

~ Chels {Catz in the Kitchen}

Print
Layered Taco Dip


Author: Connie Rief
Recipe type: Appetizer/Side Dish



Serves: 8-10 servings
 

Enjoy your game day, game night, or potluck with this zesty dip! It’s like eating a taco without the shell!

Ingredients

1 (28 oz can) refried beans-I use the vegetarian style
8 oz fat-free sour cream
1 packet (3 tbsp) taco seasoning
8-10 medium olives sliced
2 medium hot house tomatoes, diced
1½ cups shredded Mexican style cheese




Instructions

In an 8×8 baking dish, evenly spread out the refried beans.
In a small bowl, combine the sour cream and taco seasoning until mix through. Spread the layer of zesty cream over the refried beans.
Arrange a layer of black olives over the sour cream mixture.
Toss the diced tomatoes on top of the black olive layer.
Top with shredded cheese.
Serve with your favorite tortilla chips. I’m partial to the Juanitas brand.




Notes
Store in the fridge if not eating right away.


3.2.2885

 

Chels is a born-again believer who dreams of living with all four seasons in Central Oregon. She’s a wife and stay at home mom to her three vivacious kiddos whom she home schools. When she’s not schooling or chasing after her munchkins, she enjoys reading, bubble baths, and finding clothing/kitchen treasure at thrift stores. But more than all of that, she finds refuge in her kitchen where she and her husband can be found cooking and baking up a storm for their family and friends. You can read more about her culinary endeavors at CatzintheKitchen.com.
• Follow Catz on Facebook, Pinterest, Twitter, Google+, and Instagram! •

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Giving Your Kids the Freedom to Fly {from a Daughter’s Perspective}

This world is big and scary.

And I think parents tend to especially feel this when their kids start to grow up. But many, instead of going about releasing them, only hug them tighter.

The results I have seen with this approach are either young adults who feel restricted and unhappy, or young adults who are content being sheltered at home–both of which are very unhealthy.

You see, “kids” are humans, and God has a plan for each one. 

Individually, specifically.

We were made to find our Creator and His will for our lives . . . so if we are constantly being held back and controlled this chokes the freedom to find out God’s will for our lives.

I know all of my siblings and myself are strong-willed creatures. Ready and wanting to get out in the world and to make a difference. Whether that is creating beauty or fighting evil.

If our parents had tried to restrain us or keep us back, then our relationship with them would be put under great strain if not, in some cases, broken. And really it’s because of our parents that we are ready to do this.

Because as a parent you aren’t just supposed to let your kids go, you are supposed to support them as they go. You are supposed to want them to go.

The Freedom to Fly

The Bible talks about children being arrows in a quiver.

Yes, for a time you get to keep them safe and warm, and then they have to fly to whatever target God wills.

The home is important and I will always want to come back and visit the place and people I love.

But I feel this way because my parents have given me the freedom to fly.

They have hugely supported my adventures. They have delighted in all our kids’ wild, big ideas and, in many cases, ensured that they happen.

And to be honest, sometimes, I think my mom and dad are worried that something might happen to me. But I know they give it back to God and I know they pray.

Because really, if you think about it—you can get hurt in your own backyard by a freak accident. You can be burnt from a house fire. You can be injured anyway and be damaged in your own home town. For sure, in some circumstances there are higher risks, but that’s just a part of life.

But “staying safe” is not the point.

Our parents, though hoping we stay safe as possible, know that that is never the point. The point of our lives should be diving into whatever and wherever we are called.

We are called to be fearless, we are called to be courageous, to not be afraid.

If you are hugging your kids back – if you are wanting them to stay – it’s time to ask yourself whose agenda you are serving.

Because we all serve a big God. And He wants our allegiance.

He wants us to shine in this world and to make a beautiful difference.

For the Glory of God

Of course, there can be a time when a child is too young to face the world, and our parents have done a good job waiting until we were ready to release us to the world.

But there does comes a point when a child is strong and ready.

For instance, a few days ago one of my little brothers was accompanied to his basketball game only 2 hours away from our home, while I was navigating London thousands of miles away.

For each one of us kids it has looked different: some are naturally more wise and worldly-wise/practical than others. Some are better at finding their own way, while others are less so.

If there has been a child that my parents have worried about, they try to approach it in the spirit of “How can we make this work?” and “How can we help you accomplish where you want to go–where you are being called?”.

They are not clinging to us, and I guess that’s my main point. They want us to fly.

And yes, there comes a time in a young person’s life when it is time to fly.

And when that time comes: you have to let go: For the glory of God and the fullness of His purposes.

Savoury Jacobson

*So what are some of the hopes and dreams of your child? And/or your concerns as a parent?

Savoury is a young, Christian blogger who loves talking about new things with old souls. Her main passion is to inspire people to live free in a world that would put us all in chains. She has many interests ranging from classical music, to politics, to travel. She loves to think and write, but even more than that she loves to do. You can find more of Savoury over at her blog, SavoryThots and her travel blog, Live Free: My Travels Around the World. You can also follow her travels on Instagram.

 And if you’re wondering about her last name? Yes, Savoury is our oldest daughter.  She recently returned from traveling through France and Britain, staying with different families throughout both areas. This adventure came after a lot of hard work, saving, and planning on her part—and prayer on all our parts. We are very grateful for the kind hospitality shown her along the way (many whom were through Club31Women here!) and God looking after her safety and well-being. And she hopes to return to her travels very soon! ~ Lisa Jacobson P.S. And, um, her dad and I did “sometimes worry”.

*If you would like these posts delivered directly to your inbox, simply subscribe below (and get 2 FREE eBooks, The 7 Habits of a Highly Fulfilling Marriage and Raising Heavenly-Minded, Down-to-Earth Kids).

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How to Overcome: The One Thing You Need

The answer’s simple, right?

Faith. It’s the victory that overcomes the world.

And yet, sometimes we stamp our feet in protest. It’s just not “working.”

We want these mountains moved. They’re enough to break our hearts. His cancer… Her husband… My finances… Their child. We want miracles for ourselves and our brothers and sisters in Christ.

We wonder how it works — asking anything in His name and receiving it — because we thought for sure our faith was at least as big as a mustard seed.

But walking by faith is not walking by sight.

“Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.”

 ~ Hebrews 11:1 ~

Indescribable Beauty

There’s no one formula.

No magic.

We don’t see how it will work out.

All we see through blurry eyes are the Words of Jesus, assuring us He will never leave or forsake us (Hebrews 13:5)… His grace is sufficient (2 Corinthians 12:9)… and He will work all things for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28).

And this not seeing is what makes it faith.

We’re all about instant relief. But He’s about so much more.

While we long for Him to grant miracles, He’s working indescribable beauty.

The Ability to Overcome

Like the moth that squeezes through the excruciatingly small passage from his cocoon into the world over what we’d call too long a struggle… the helpfulness of an observer who would “mercifully” cut it open open only handicaps the moth for life. The struggle must be in order for blood to reach and empower the creature’s exquisite new wings.*

The moth’s story is our own.

Misplaced tenderness cripples. But faith in the midst of struggle births life.

No, faith is not about premature deliverance from our troubles.

But faith is the victory that overcomes the world — your world. Today.

Faith is giving God complete control of your finances. Trusting His Word that He will supply all your need, not by credit cards or fewer tithes, but according to His riches in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:19).
Faith is yielding your body to Him, allowing whatever diseases, scars, or griefs it bears to bring Him glory, remembering that a perfect, glorified body awaits you in Heaven.
Faith is refusing to manipulate and micromanage relationships — instead permitting the Holy Spirit time and space to do the real work.
Faith is honoring an undeserving husband, trusting Jesus to love and empower you as you obey Him.
Faith is believing you will reap what you sow… in your thought life, in your walk with God, in your parenting… and acting accordingly.
Faith is putting one foot in front of the other no matter how dark and confusing the journey.

Faith fills the mundane — it’s the moment-by-moment choices that prove you’re taking God at His Word.

And sometimes faith requires boldness. Actions that others will question. Dramatic decisions that only feel right when your eyes are glued to Jesus. Crazy things like walking on the water.

My prayer for you and me today?

Something deeper than an easy-fix miracle… the ability to overcome.

I pray that we would “… run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith.” Hebrews 12:1-2 (emphasis mine)

—–

For further encouragement today, read all of Hebrews 11-12. And if your load is heavy and your faith is wavering, please let me know how I can pray for you!

Blessings,

Jennifer

*Illustration from January 9th entry of “Streams in the Desert” by L.B. Cowman

Jennifer is the author of Take Courage: Choosing faith on my journey of fear, and blogs at jenniferebenhack.com. She and her husband Jarod served as missionaries in the country of Haiti, where they became parents to all five of their children, three of whom are adopted. Those eventful years produced a gift of brokenness in Jennifer through which she has discovered the depths of God’s healing grace.

In between loads of laundry, homeschooling, and enjoying the South Florida shoreline she is writing a memoir of their nine-year adoption process and eight years in Haiti.

 (This post may contain affiliate links. Read my full disclosure.)

*If you would like these posts delivered directly to your inbox, simply subscribe below (and get 2 FREE eBooks, The 7 Habits of a Highly Fulfilling Marriage and Raising Heavenly-Minded, Down-to-Earth Kids).

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My Dear Daughter: A Word About Love Stories and Happy Endings

I feel rather blessed.

Being the mother of several lovely teenage daughters—young, bright, and beautiful.

All of them hoping to get married some day.

Or at least they think they will.

But to tell you the truth, they’ve grown a little doubtful lately.

The girls observe these marriages around them falling apart right before their eyes. They’ve seen the destruction of divorce and have stayed up late comforting dear friends whose parents are parting ways.

Or, they watch while some couples stay together, yet grow increasingly cold and distant.

Tension filling the air.

It troubles them to think of their lives ending in this unhappy way.

It messes with their minds and messes with their dreams.

They’re not little girls anymore and they understand that life is no fairytale.

But they can’t help wondering where did all the good stories go? You know, the ones with a happy ending?

Whatever happened to happily-ever-after?

And this is what I tell each precious one . . . .

 

My Dear Daughter

My dear daughter,

I believe in a good God who desires to write a beautiful story for our lives.

Rather than looking at the messed-up world around you, fix your eyes on Him who is more than able to care for you. He is the One you can trust for your hope and for your future.

. . . casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you. (I Pet. 5:7)

I believe in a God who’s in the business of changing people.

He can change me and He can move that man of mine. He has the power to transform our marriage into something wonderful and glorifying to Him.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new. (2 Cor. 5:17)

I believe in a God who restores and redeems.

He can heal the broken and save the lost. I’ve seen Him turn lives around and rescue marriages from the most impossible situations.

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. (Ps. 34:18)

I believe in a God who sees the big picture.

While we might only see the snapshot – what is happening today – He knows what our future holds.

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. (Jer. 29:11)

You can take your daddy and me, for example. Here we are, two imperfect people who have learned to love each other—who are still learning to love each other. Look at the good work God is doing in and through our life together.

Growing, learning, forgiving and loving some more.

This is the stuff that makes for some of the best stories.

This is a real love story.

With a very happy ending.

With love,

Mom

A Good and Powerful God

So that’s the kind of story I’m hoping for our daughters and the kind I’m hoping for you.

Not because I believe in fairytales, but because I believe in a good and powerful God.

Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen. (Eph. 3:20-21)

Let’s call on our God – He who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think – to do His beautiful work in our lives and relationships!

In His grace,

 

 (This post may contain affiliate links. Read my full disclosure.)

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