Lisa Jacobson's Blog, page 45

How Changing This One Bad Habit Changed Our Home for Good

It all came to light at the kitchen sink.

Starting with a sigh—so natural to me that I never noticed it escaping my lips.

A long, heavy sigh.

I was washing vegetables for the dinner salad. Celery, peppers, and carrots. The typical evening prep.

Feeling behind and burdened by my day.

That’s when my husband walked in the room and asked, “Hey Babe, how was today?” And then, “Why the big sigh?”

He asked and I answered. And it went something like this . . . .

The bickering kids,

the avalanche of housework,

the half-broken appliances (like that dumb dryer!),

the errands that took far longer than they should have,

and

the 3 medical bills that had arrived in the mail.

A long list of complaints, but nothing special. All the usuals.

But right before my eyes, I watched those strong, solid shoulders of the Man I Love . . . drop a little. Hunch over a bit. Heavy with all I’d just dumped on him.

But he’d asked and I’d answered him honestly.

And I believe it’s important to be honest, don’t you?

Except for one thing.

My “honesty” was taking him down. Taking my whole family down really.

I was literally sucking the life out of our home with my complaining. 

I’d developed the very bad habit of grumbling and I’d masked it all under the disguise of “being honest” instead of calling it what it really was.

What I really was.

The Complaining Wife.  

And that’s when I knew that something had to change. I had to stop this negative stream of communication that greeted him most every evening. It was time to trade out my whining discontent and replace it with a thankful spirit.

I wanted to breathe life back into my home.

Oh, not that it meant I could never be “honest” again because there’s definitely a time and place for that. But I realized that I could save it for another moment. And I was going to make sure that I wasn’t merely “dumping” on him, but truly coming to him for support, help, or a little sympathy. Not complaining for the sake of complaining.

I decided to change my habit. Rather than focusing on all that had gone wrong, I was going to concentrate on all that was good in my day.  Things that were true, lovely, and worthy.

And that goes something like this . . . .

The kids had lots of fun at the park today,

got the pantry cleaned out,

so glad for my washing machine and (partially-working) dryer, 

made it to the grocery store,

and

grateful our girl got medical care when she really needed it. 

Same day – different perspective. Which has made all the difference in the world. 

So this is why I traded my sigh in for a smile and try to speak words of joy instead.

Changed my habit.

Changed my heart.

And how it changed our home for good.

….whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

~ Philippians 4:8 ~

Maybe you’ve picked up the habit of complaining as well? Try changing this one bad habit and see the good it brings to your husband, yourself, and your home. 

In His grace,

 

 (This post may contain affiliate links. Read my full disclosure.)

*If you would like these posts delivered directly to your inbox, simply subscribe below (and get 2 FREE eBooks, The 7 Habits of a Highly Fulfilling Marriage and Raising Heavenly-Minded, Down-to-Earth Kids).

Author informationLisaOwner at Club 31 Women

Lisa is the happily-ever-after wife of Matthew Jacobson and together they enjoy raising and home-educating their 8 children in the beautiful Pacific Northwest. She's also rather fond of dark chocolate, French press coffee, and deep friendships (though not necessarily in that order). She encourages women to embrace the rich life of loving relationships and the high calling of being a wife and mother. Lisa is the author of 100 Ways to Love Your Husband and her husband is the author of 100 Ways to Love Your Wife. They are also the authors of several children's books, including a winner of the C.S. Lewis Silver Medal for Children's Literature.

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What’s Wrong With Admitting You Need Help? {& Slow-Cooker Irish Stew}

I have a hard time asking for help and admitting my weaknesses. It wasn’t something I realized I had a problem with until I had my first child.

You see, I grew up watching my parents do everything themselves. They are very capable people. I would brag that my dad was one of those people that could walk into a forest with a toothpick and hammer and build a whole shopping mall, while my mom was the perfect homemaker, always making sure everyone’s needs were met. I grew up watching my dad build and fix everything and my mom never needing to ask for help when it came to the job of taking care of her family.

While all of that is very admirable, it can also be unhealthy.

I came to realize that as soon as I had my first beautiful child, Grace. At 20 years old, I didn’t know the first thing about babies. I was the one my family laughed about ever having children because “I was too selfish,” which was true to a degree, but nothing can make you selfless faster than having a baby!

Everything about parenthood was magical – for about 48 hours, until I came home from the hospital and didn’t have nurses flocking around me to take the baby if I needed to nap. That was the first dose of reality. Then my milk came in – and I tell you, nothing prepares you for that! Then, I couldn’t nurse my daughter properly, Josh had to go back to work after a week, I lived in a noisy apartment, and to top it all off, Grace had colic for three months straight.

I felt alone, trapped, and unprepared for this season of my life.

Whenever I would reach out for some encouragement, I remember being told by people I knew, “You wanted this responsibility. Now you have it.” Or, “How do you think I feel? I did this completely alone without any help, or even a church family to bring me a meal. At least you have that!”

I felt that if I lowered myself by asking for help, I was shaming myself and completely unworthy, and just as irresponsible as everyone said I would be.

I’ve carried this thought process through 11 years of marriage and it still haunts me to this day. When I’m planning on hosting a gathering in my home and someone asks me what they can bring, my first impulse is still to say don’t worry about it. I’ll take care of it.

But, what I’ve been discovering, is people actually do like to help. I always thought that I was putting out others. Inconveniencing them. But people like to be included.

Open Hearts and Caring Arms

There’s a world of wisdom, open hearts, caring arms, and gentle smiles just waiting for an opportunity to give in some way. (Matthew 5:16)

How I wish I could have realized this truth sooner. How many tears I could have saved and how much stress I could have relieved myself from! I believe Satan wants us to believe the lie that no matter what our “need” is, we are a bother to someone or an inconvenience. He wants us to be so wrapped up in ourselves that we couldn’t possibly think about lifting our hand to help someone else.

Whenever you hear that lie being whispered in your head, I challenge you to fire back with the names of the people you know who would drop anything and come running to help you out or encourage you in some way if it were physically impossible to get to you.

Your need is important and I think that’s the beauty of Christ’s love for us.

We’re all falling short and sometimes it is not easy to admit that we need help. That we need someone to pull us out of a deep abyss. That’s what Christ did for us on the cross. He helped us, before we could even ask (or existed!). Once we asked Him…has there ever been a greater blessing to admitting one’s need? If we can reach out and ask Him to forgive us of the sins of our past and the sins of our present and future, then surely we can ask for a little help (…and as the body of Christ our collective response should be, “Yes, what can I do?”).

If you are one in need, ask for help, trust me – someone is just waiting to be asked.

Or maybe you can fill the need by simply observing and asking if there is anything you can do.

I think one of the nicest, simplest things anyone can do is to provide a meal, like this simple Irish Stew! Do you know of someone who just had a baby? Offer to whip this savory stew in their crockpot and cuddle the baby while mom takes a nap. Or maybe you know of someone who just got laid off. What about someone who is sick? I have a friend who keeps extra bottles of Ginger Ale and 7UP lying around with saltine crackers in case she hears about someone being sick. You could always make this stew for the family (I’m sure they will be hungry if mom or dad has been in bed all day) and bring some saltines and 7up to your ill friend.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help…and be prepared to offer help. We all need a little help now and then and it doesn’t make us weak. In fact, sometimes the greatest show of strength is knowing when you need help. (II Corinthians 12:9)

” For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though He was rich, yet for your sake He became poor, so that you by His poverty would become rich.” 2 Corinthians 8:9

~ Chels {Catz in the Kitchen}

Print
Slow-Cooker Irish Stew


Author: Adapted from Better Homes and Gardens



Serves: 6 servings
 

A delicious and hearty stew that will having you thinking that you’re sitting in an Irish Pub with the locals.

Ingredients

1 lb stewing beef
1 Tbsp vegetable oil
2½ cups peeled turnips, diced into ½ inch pieces (about 2 medium)
1½ cups carrots, cut into ½ inch pieces (about 3 medium carrots)
1½ cups peeled potatoes, cut into ½ inch pieces (about 2 medium)
1 whole onion, cut into wedges
¼ cup quick-cooking tapioca
3 cups beef broth
½ tsp salt
¼ tsp black pepper
¼ tsp dried thyme, crushed




Instructions

In a large skillet of hot oil, brown stewing beef in half batches. Drain off the fat. Set aside.
In the bottom of your slow cooker, place cut turnips, carrots, potatoes, onion, tapioca and seasonings and stir together. Add in the browned beef and broth, stirring to combine.
Cover and cook on low for 10-12 hours or on high for 5-6 hours. Serve with drop biscuits or Irish soda bread.



#version#

 

 

 

Author informationChelsia Rief

Chels is a born-again believer who dreams of living with all four seasons in Central Oregon. She's a wife and stay at home mom to her three vivacious kiddos whom she home schools. When she's not schooling or chasing after her munchkins, she enjoys reading, bubble baths, and finding clothing/kitchen treasure at thrift stores. But more than all of that, she finds refuge in her kitchen where she and her husband can be found cooking and baking up a storm for their family and friends. You can read more about her culinary endeavors at CatzintheKitchen.com.

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We All Have A Sweet Spot: Will You Dare to Take the Plunge? {& Giveaway}

My friend Alysha owns and operates a successful salon and boutique in downtown Bellingham, Washington. It is a darling little shop, sleek and stylish and full of sparkle. It is appropriately named Bliss, and simply walking through the door makes you feel a little more glamorous, a little prettier, just a little more special. Her chic display racks are filled with carefully clothing, each piece individually selected by her expert eye, and she has a way of making everyone who walks through her door feel absolutely beautiful and one-of-a-kind.

She is not just good at what she does, she is great.

Alysha and I have been best friends since the sixth grade and as such, I have had a front-row seat to all the times she was underestimated by the people around us. An “average” student, she didn’t play sports, wasn’t involved in clubs, was never voted into student council. She never really stood out or commanded attention. To many people she was simply ordinary. Nothing special. Forgettable.

But those people didn’t see her quiet drive and determination. They didn’t see how she worked her way through high school, saving enough money to pay for community college and beauty school. They didn’t see how the personal tragedies in her life—first losing her dad as a child and then her brother in her early twenties—only inspired her to work harder because she understood that life is short and precious. They didn’t see how she consistently pushed herself to be better, learning everything she could not just about doing hair, but about fashion and style and running a successful business. They didn’t see how even when things went wrong, she kept doing what she loved.

Although we now live more than three thousand miles apart, Alysha still inspires me every day. She never let being called “average” stand in her way. Instead, she followed her passion, discovered her sweet spot, and never looked back.

How many of us can say we’ve been that brave?

Our sweet spot is that place where our greatest passions and our talents or abilities intersect. It is that special place where we are able to do whatever it is that we feel most called to do, that thing we love, that thing we are great at, that thing that makes life worth living. Just like Alysha did, living in the sweet spot means having the courage to follow our dreams, take risks, and work harder than we ever thought possible in order accomplish our goals.

Your gift might be leadership or wisdom or discernment or patience. It could be kindness or administration or communication or diligence. It might be generosity or healing or knowledge or empathy. Perhaps it is teaching or organization or creativity or music. Maybe it is even just doing or serving or being able to step up when needed. Some of us excel in forging a path for others, leading the way and administering change, while others are able to effectively serve in the background, quietly creating or organizing or following through. And while some gifts may be flashier than others, or seem preferable or more important, they are all essential. Your sweet spot is yours alone.

The truth is that all gifts come from God, in order to serve and glorify Him: “There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit. There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord. There are different kinds of working, but the same God works all of them in all men” (1 Corinthians 12:4-6).

Finding your own sweet spot often means a messy process of finding and then learning to embrace the God-given talents and aptitudes you already have, rather than the ones you only wish you had. It means taking the time to discover what you are truly good at and enjoy, then figuring out how to merge that talent and those abilities with the ideas and dreams and pursuits you are most passionate about. And sometimes finding your sweet spot even means taking a wrong turn­—and even failing along the way.

But despite the messiness of it all, my hope for you is to become fearless and to dare to take the plunge, even when it means risking failure. Remember those words of Philippians 4:13: I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Don’t let the possibility of falling short deter you from trying.  You will make mistakes. You will screw up along the way. There may even be times when you have to admit defeat. Keep going. Use those lessons as opportunities to discover what doesn’t work, and always persevere.

Because your sweet spot is there, waiting for you, even if you haven’t quite found it yet, and in the end, it is exactly where you need to be.

Ruth Soukup believes with all her heart that a life well lived is not so much about what we have, but who we are.  Her mission is to empower and inspire women everywhere to seek—and find—the Good Life.  Through her popular blog, LivingWellSpendingLess.com she encourages her readers to follow their dreams and reach their goals, sharing easy-to-implement tips and strategies for saving time and money while focusing on the things that matter most.  She is also the New York Times bestselling author of Living Well Spending Less: 12 Secrets of the Good Life, and Her next book, Unstuffed: Decluttering Your Home, Mind & Soul will be released in Spring 2016.  She lives in Florida with her husband and two daughters.

 

3 Book Giveaway

I appreciated the honesty with which Ruth Soukup tells her own personal story and the courage that it takes to share her own struggles and triumphs, so that others can be encouraged to overcome as well. I find the author’s writing style highly readable and, personally, greatly appreciate her straight-forward approach.

This is not one of those typical “help yourself” kind of books, if that’s what you’re looking for, but rather a book that inspires you to go deeper and live with real meaning—the Good Life that is found in Jesus Christ.

With chapter titles such as “Contentment Is A Choice” (isn’t that incredibly freeing??) and “Less Stuff Equals More Joy,” Living Well Spending Less is a terrific resource of wise advice and encouraging truths about truly living well. ~ Lisa Jacobson,  Book Review

Ruth Soukup is the the author of the newly released and New York Times Best-Seller, Living Well, Spending Less: 12 Secrets of the Good Life. You can find out more and purchase Ruth’s book HERE:

Living Well, Spending Less by Ruth Soukup

And now I’m so thrilled to be able to offer 3 (yes, three!) copies of Ruth Soukup’s new book: Living Well, Spending Less. Enter by following the directions below!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

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Growing Up Girls: An Encouraging and Helpful Resource for Raising Daughters

You probably know that I have four daughters.

And that I love these girls all to pieces. Each and every one of them.

They are my dearest friends and the ones I go to when I need prayer or encouragement. Or help. Or even advice, now that they’re getting older.

And coffee. I definitely go to them for coffee.

And they come to me for chocolate.

So you can see that we’re very close, these girls and me.

Even though each one is so different with her own unique personality. With her own individual strengths and weaknesses. And me with mine.

And we talk together and laugh and sometimes cry. Then talk some more and hopefully laugh again.

Because . . . well, because we’re girls, I guess.

And we’re growing up together.  These girls and me.

Maybe you’ve got girls too?

If you do, then I’ve gathered some of the words I’ve shared over the last few years about raising daughters and some of the things I’ve learned along the way. Plus a few things from their daddy too. Stuff I hope will encourage and help you with your girls too.

Encouraging & Helpful Articles on Raising Daughters

21 Questions Your Daughter Really Needs You to Ask Her

How Does Your Daughter Grow Up To Be Your Very Best Friend?

One Hundred Things I Want to Share Before She’s A Bride

To My Daughter: A Good Man Is Worth Waiting For

24 Ways to Prepare Your Young Girl to Become a Lovely Woman

A Dozen Ways to Look After Your Daughter’s Heart

6 Truths Every Daughter Needs to Know

My Dear Daughter: A Word About Love Stories and Happy Endings

And from a Dad’s Heart:

8 Things Every Daughter Needs To Hear from Her Dad

20 Daddy-Daughter Dates

Growing Up Girls

And now I’m going to tell you something that you already know, but I have to say it anyway.

They grow up fast. These girls.

The next thing you know, she’s a woman and not merely a girl. And not only your daughter, but hopefully your friend too.

Drinking coffee and sharing chocolate together.

Talking, laughing, crying, and praying together.

Because that’s what grown-up girls do.

In His grace,

 

 (This post may contain affiliate links. Read my full disclosure.)

*If you would like these posts delivered directly to your inbox, simply subscribe below (and get 2 FREE eBooks, The 7 Habits of a Highly Fulfilling Marriage and Raising Heavenly-Minded, Down-to-Earth Kids).

Author informationLisaOwner at Club 31 Women

Lisa is the happily-ever-after wife of Matthew Jacobson and together they enjoy raising and home-educating their 8 children in the beautiful Pacific Northwest. She's also rather fond of dark chocolate, French press coffee, and deep friendships (though not necessarily in that order). She encourages women to embrace the rich life of loving relationships and the high calling of being a wife and mother. Lisa is the author of 100 Ways to Love Your Husband and her husband is the author of 100 Ways to Love Your Wife. They are also the authors of several children's books, including a winner of the C.S. Lewis Silver Medal for Children's Literature.

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The Grandest Wedding You’re Ever Going to See

Have you heard of the show “Once Upon A Time”?

It’s all about fairy tales with a modern twist and I love it! Growing up my favorite kind of stories were fairy tale stories. What’s not to love about villains, magic, sword wielding princes, brave, but in distress, princesses, and of course, true love’s kiss?

There are a plethora of stories about the power of true love. It can wake a sleeping princess from an enchanted sleep, or turn a beast into a prince. True love saves and makes whole. It creates a bond so strong that it all but guarantees a happily ever after ending.

But as we grow up we exchange our beloved fairy tales for something more “realistic”. We now flock to the movies to watch down to earth stories and yet, the theme of love and rescue can be found even in our modern stories. Whether they’re comedy or adventure stories we love seeing justice prevail and true love win.

These stories resonate with us because we know there is something terribly wrong. We see it in ourselves and in the world around us. We know that we need to be rescued, that the world is not as it should be, that evil needs to be defeated, and we need a hero–a deliverer.

All this talk about rescue and love reminds me of the story of the Bible.

From Genesis to Revelation we see a story of curses and of sacrifice, of a prince, a kingdom, and a bride, the defeat of evil, and the prevailing of good. We have a story that includes a dragon, supernatural powers, and battles. Driving the whole story is true love.

Best of all, this is our story, and it is much more real than what is reflected in fairy tales.

In our story sin brought the curse of death (Gen 3). A curse that marred our beauty, clothed us in rags, and turned our hearts to stone, leaving us for dead.

But our story is also one of hope. It is the affection and power of Christ our King that awakens us from this sleep of death (Song of Sol. 1:2). It is his gentle, yet powerful touch on our hearts that begins to remove sin’s iron grip (Ezekiel 36:26) so we can once again do right, love mercy, and walk humbly with our God. (Micah 6:8).  This King of ours cleanses us and then dresses us in robes of righteousness and other fine linen (Rev. 19:7,8; Is. 61:10).

And in the end a terrible dragon will be defeated,  there will be a grand wedding in a Kingdom so amazing there aren’t words to describe it.

Right now we find ourselves in the middle of the story.

We are waiting for our true love to come for us. While we don’t know when that will be, we can be certain that He will come for us and we are called to be ready for His arrival.

We should pour over His love letter to us, the Scripture, and know our Prince as well as possible.

We should beautify ourselves not with outward adornments, but with a beauty that comes from within (1 Peter 3:4). With kindness and purity of heart, with love, faith, joy, patience and contentment.

So read fairy tales to your children, awaken in them the imagination and wonder of far off places where anything can happen. But make sure to remind them of an even greater story, a story of true love shown in a blood sacrifice. Of a kingdom so wildly beautiful and amazing that even the best story tellers can’t do it justice.

Remind them that truth and goodness will win and that all those whose faith is in Christ our Redeemer King will be saved.

He brought me out into a broad place; he rescued me, because he delighted in me.

Psalm 18:10

Author informationJen ThornContributor

I grew up in Germany and spent a few years as a missionary kid in Africa. I ended up at Moody Bible Institute where I met my husband and best friend. We have been married 16 years and have 2 boys and 2 girls. I love theology and have a passion to help women take their walk with God to a deeper level. You can find Jen on her blog,

 JenThorn.com.

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11 Special Life-Lessons I’ve Learned from Our Special-Needs Girl

Some days are simply etched in your mind.

Never to be forgotten. And this was one of those days.

I watched the entire thing with my own eyes, so I know that it really happened.

But still.

I couldn’t quite believe it.

Maybe it doesn’t seem so astonishing. You know, that your 12-year-old would be climbing up the stairs.

One slow step at a time with 16 steps to the top.

I’m sure your 2-year-old long ago accomplished this feat — and with surprising speed at that.

But then again, she probably has the use of both her legs and both her arms.

And our youngest daughter does not.

She does everything with her right arm and not much else. So you see, climbing the staircase was never an option for her.

Oh, not that it ever stopped her daddy from trying. The Man Who Never Gives Up. He worked with her day after day. Crawling alongside her, as he gently pulled her up each step. Showing her how it needed to be done.

But it just wasn’t going anywhere, if you know what I mean? And it was too painful for me to watch. So he eventually let up on these daily stair-climbing exercises—–more for my sake than for hers. I couldn’t bare to watch the struggle knowing that there wasn’t any chance of success.

With only one arm and 16 steps to the top.

It was too much.

So her loving daddy went back to carrying her upstairs to her cozy bed each night. Long after she was too old to be carried like a young child. With her blowing us kisses and calling out a cheery “goodnight” all the way up.

A year or so later, as I sat in my favorite spot in the corner of the couch, I heard a strange sound. An unfamiliar thump and a small groan.

Looking up, I watched as that little girl slowly, but ever-so-determinedly, pulled herself up. Giving it everything she had.

With one arm and up one step.

She made her way up 5 steps before the reality of what I was watching fully set in.

Oh, my child!! Crying out with all my heart.

And the rest of the family came running into the room, afraid of what they might find. But there she was . . . pulling herself up one step . . .  and then another.

With only one arm and 16 steps to the top.

The children cheering so loudly by those last few steps that the whole world must have heard the noise. Her big, strong daddy, with proud tears running down his face, shouting even louder than the rest.

13 . . . 14 . . . 15 . . . and then 16!

Her victorious grin when she finally reached that last step forever etched in my mind.

This was the girl who was who never supposed to walk, talk, or eat by mouth. We were told she’d never know me or learn to call me mom. She wouldn’t be able to learn much of anything. “The damage is just too extensive,” they informed us after she was born.

They were wrong. And I can’t help but be glad for that.

But you know what else those hospital doctors missed? They forgot to mention how much we would learn from her. And I honestly don’t know how they could have left that part out.

We’ve learned so many important life-lessons from our sweet little special girl.

11 Special Life-Lessons
I’ve Learned from Our Special-Needs Girl

1.    You can accomplish far more than some people might think. If you give it all you’ve got.

2.    Little successes are often actually big successes in disguise.

3.    You should never give up on anyone. No matter how discouraging or difficult it may seem.

4.    Sometimes victory means taking only one step at a time.

5.    Never stop cheering for the ones you love. They need to know that you believe they’re going to make it.

6.   You can sure bring a lot of joy to someone’s life by simply being you. So just be you.

7.    It matters less what you start out with than what you do with what’s been given you. 

8.   You should never underestimate the power of prayer. Because miracles still happen.

9.   Sometimes God answers prayers in the most amazing ways. She knows me and calls me by my name –  mom.

10.  And other times He asks us to wait. We look forward to the day when our little girl is completely healed and will dance in Heaven.

11.   Sometimes God chooses to glorify Himself best through the broken things. It doesn’t always make sense to us, but we know we can trust Him.

He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away. ~ Revelation 21:4

So I don’t know if God has been calling you to slowly climb up a long flight of steps , but if He has? I hope you’ll give it all you’ve got. That you’ll trust Him to give you the strength you need.  That you’ll keep climbing and that we’ll be cheering for you.

One step at a time and all the way to the top. 

In His grace,

 

 (This post may contain affiliate links. Read my full disclosure.)

*If you would like these posts delivered directly to your inbox, simply subscribe below (and get 2 FREE eBooks, The 7 Habits of a Highly Fulfilling Marriage and Raising Heavenly-Minded, Down-to-Earth Kids).

Author informationLisaOwner at Club 31 Women

Lisa is the happily-ever-after wife of Matthew Jacobson and together they enjoy raising and home-educating their 8 children in the beautiful Pacific Northwest. She's also rather fond of dark chocolate, French press coffee, and deep friendships (though not necessarily in that order). She encourages women to embrace the rich life of loving relationships and the high calling of being a wife and mother. Lisa is the author of 100 Ways to Love Your Husband and her husband is the author of 100 Ways to Love Your Wife. They are also the authors of several children's books, including a winner of the C.S. Lewis Silver Medal for Children's Literature.

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7 Verses to Hold On To . . . When You’re Holding On to Your Marriage {& Free Printable}

I’m just trying to hold on . . .

And she left it there. But I knew what she meant and my heart went out to her.

Sometimes it’s simply a matter of holding on and holding tight.

Remember what’s good, what’s right, and what’s true.

I was pretty sure I knew what she meant.

She was holding on to her marriage and wasn’t about to give up.

Maybe that’s where you are too. 

Or maybe it’s someone you love who is close to you and struggling to hang in there.

Holding on.

But you are not on your own in this world. God is with you.

Turn to Him and turn to His Word. Hold on to these truths He wrote for you. 

7 Verses to Hold On To . . .
When You’re Holding On to Your Marriage
Wisdom

If you don’t know what to do, or how to handle what’s before you? He promises to give you wisdom, if you ask Him for it.

If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. James 1:5

Comfort

If you’re heart is breaking and you need healing and comfort? Let God’s steadfast love surround you and fill your heart once again. His promise.

Let your steadfast love comfort me according to your promise to your servant.  ~ Psalm 119:76

Strength

Maybe it seems impossible and you feel like you’re faltering? God will give you the strength to do what He’s called you to do. Let Him work through you and in you.

I can do all things through him who strengthens me. ~ Philippians 4:13

Help

Do you need some help in this situation? Can’t do it by yourself or on your own? You don’t have to do it alone. He is your mighty God and He will help you.

Fear not, for I am with you;

be not dismayed, for I am your God;

I will strengthen you, I will help you,

I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. ~ Isaiah 41:10

 

Peace

If you’re worried and full of anxiety over the matter before you? Come to Him with your requests, remembering to thank Him for even the little things He’s done. He promises to fill you with His peace—the kind that almost doesn’t make sense and yet it’s real.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7

Courage

If you’re afraid of what’s going to happen or what the future holds? You don’t need to be because that’s only the voice of the Enemy trying to discourage and defeat you. This is a great verse to say right aloud: “For God gave ME a spirit not of fear…!”

….for God gave us {me!} a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control. ~ 2 Timothy 1:7

Hope

You are never without hope because we serve the God of hope and He is a Redeemer! He is able – more than able – to carry you and your marriage.

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.  ~ Jeremiah 29:11

FREE PRINTABLES

I hope you find strength and  encouragement in all these verses! They are for you.

Please feel free to print them off and place wherever they will most bless you—in your purse, in your kitchen window, or on your bedroom wall.

You can download and print the verses by clicking the links below:
7 Verses to Hold On to  – Part 1
7 Verses to Hold On to – Part 2

 

Keep holding on to your marriage, my friend.

God is holding on to you.

In His grace,

 

*You’re very welcome to share these with friends or family who might need to hear this as well!

**If you’d like prayer- either for yourself, or someone you know and love – you can mention it below in the comments. I’d be glad to lift you up, as well as many other women in this community. And don’t feel like you have to get into the specifics, even a basic “pray for me” works and God knows well what it is that you’re asking. 

 (This post may contain affiliate links. Read my full disclosure.)

*If you would like these posts delivered directly to your inbox, simply subscribe below (and get 2 FREE eBooks, The 7 Habits of a Highly Fulfilling Marriage and Raising Heavenly-Minded, Down-to-Earth Kids).

Author informationLisaOwner at Club 31 Women

Lisa is the happily-ever-after wife of Matthew Jacobson and together they enjoy raising and home-educating their 8 children in the beautiful Pacific Northwest. She's also rather fond of dark chocolate, French press coffee, and deep friendships (though not necessarily in that order). She encourages women to embrace the rich life of loving relationships and the high calling of being a wife and mother. Lisa is the author of 100 Ways to Love Your Husband and her husband is the author of 100 Ways to Love Your Wife. They are also the authors of several children's books, including a winner of the C.S. Lewis Silver Medal for Children's Literature.

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Keeping a Vibrant Spirit in Your Home {When Your Body is Bone-Tired}

I can rest when I get to heaven.

That’s what one old preacher I know used to say.

He wasn’t meaning we should never sleep or rest, but he was emphasizing the fact that he didn’t want to place too high of a premium on relaxing. Our time here on earth is so limited; let’s not waste it by always seeking the path that’s most comfortable.

As a wife and mom, my ministry is primarily limited to within the four walls of my home. Although I minister in my church and community when possible, the bulk of my time is spent taking care of my family and home.

Through the years, I’ve prepared countless meals, scrubbed the toilet an innumerable amount of times, and washed (and occasionally even folded and put away – ha!) the same clothes over and over again.

I’ll be honest. Sometimes I get tired, and I really just feel like taking it easy. Okay, let me rephrase that. I am often exhausted, and I often find myself checking out instead of sticking with my work.

I’d rather put my feet up and relax with a good book over washing dishes any day. (Wouldn’t you?)

*Let me be clear here. I am not advocating a run-yourself-ragged, the less-sleep-you-get-the-better, never-ever-let-your-family-help-you kind of philosophy.

But I think sometimes we’re just a little too quick to tell ourselves that we deserve a break. We’re a little too quick to give up when we’re tired. (That’s one of the Things I’ve Learned About Homemaking From the Older Generation.)

What If Things Get Tough?

I’ve been thinking about the Apostle Paul and what he did when things got tough. He was persecuted beyond what we can imagine. He was beaten; he was stoned; he was imprisoned.

If anyone had a right to give up, he did.

But instead, he called these things a “light affliction”. He said that they only last for “a moment” and that they were working a “far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory.” (II Corinthians 4: 17)

If Paul could have that attitude about being beaten, stoned, and imprisoned, can I not have the same attitude about the ministry that goes on in my home?

When done with the right motives, my light affliction of preparing yet another meal, of scrubbing another toilet, or washing another load of clothes is one day going to be replaced with an eternal reward!

I’m certainly not Paul, but just like he was faithful with the ministry with which God had entrusted him, I need to be faithful with mine.

How was Paul able to stick with it even when things were so hard for him?

Instead of focusing on the outward difficulties, he turned his focus inward (his relationship with Christ) and upward (his anticipation of heaven). Yes, his body was tired, but his spirit was vibrant!

For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory; While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal. (II Corinthians 4:16-18)

And that same attitude is how I as wife and mom can pull myself out of the “I’m-tired-and-I-quit” slump. Instead of saying, “Woe is me; look at all this work I have to do,” I can meditate on God’s Word. I can pray. I can thank Jesus for the sacrifice he made so that I can spend eternity in heaven. And then I can look forward to the day when I can rest at his feet!

I don’t know about you, but thinking about that makes my step a little lighter, and even though my eyes may still droop, my smile certainly doesn’t!

Fellow wives and mamas, I know you’re tired. The days are long and the nights are short. But hang in there! Don’t focus on the difficulties; focus on fulfilling faithfully the ministry to which God has called you.

When you reach eternity you will find it was worth very effort ten times over!

~ MaryEllen Bream, ImperfectHomemaker

*Anyone have a word of encouragement for a sister who is tired or discouraged? Please offer in the comments below!

 (This post may contain affiliate links. Read my full disclosure.)

*If you would like these posts delivered directly to your inbox, simply subscribe below (and get 2 FREE eBooks, The 7 Habits of a Highly Fulfilling Marriage and Raising Heavenly-Minded, Down-to-Earth Kids).

Author informationMaryEllen Bream

MaryEllen is a stay at home wife and mommy who is passionate about inspiring other homemakers to be all that God wants them to be.  She blogs at Imperfect Homemaker where she shares her articles and inspiration about homemaking, homeschooling, and natural living.

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The Powerful Gift of a Woman With Kind Words

I turned 46, and that’s when my boys took me to the Tamarack for the best fish tacos, and Matt bought me the adorable brown felt hat that we are convinced will help me write better because I look so cute and author-ish in it.

And it’s the day my doorbell rang. A friend of 17 years was on the front porch holding a glass jar with one of those cute little chalkboard stickers on it like you see on Pinterest.

On the label it read, 46 Nuggets for Christy.

Hershey’s nuggets that is –each one wrapped in brightly covered scrapbook paper. She’s that kind of special person who thinks long about gifts until she knows just what fits the recipient. (And I always feel sorry for her that I’m the kind of friend who goes shopping 15 minutes before the birthday party and throws the gift into a bag while I’m still parked at Target.)

On each one of those chocolates was wrapped a handwritten note.

She doesn’t know that I sat on the couch, with that jar unopened in my lap, for a long, long time.

It made me uncomfortable and teary.

How could she spend this time on me? I thought.

I’m not worth this kind of gift, I thought.

Finally, my desire for chocolate overcoming my inner turmoil, I unscrewed the lid and gently peeled the paper off of one of the candies.

Jesus loves bloggers, she wrote.

He does? I thought. He does. He does love bloggers. She made me smile, and that is a good birthday gift.

To savor the sweets and the notes, I decided to open only one a day.

I’m glad you’re you, she said the next day.

You’re fun to be around, she said.

Jesus loves girls who don’t like to go outside, she said. (Totally gets me.)

I am shocked at how desperately I need to hear these words. I didn’t even know I was hungry for them. 

She has given me the good news of Jesus through her friendship.

For God so loved the world, that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life. (John 3:16 ESV)

The Powerful Gift of Kind Words

Sometimes we sit with the love of God in front of us, and it feels like that jar of individually wrapped chocolates. We wonder how God could like us, let alone love us. We wonder how he could have time for us or even see who we are. We feel uncomfortable to receive his too-good-to-be-true kindness.

But if this sweet friend’s love is true, I can believe God likes me, too.

So what I’m trying to say is how powerful your words are.

Think of all the encounters you have in a day and how each one can be like a wrapped Hershey’s.

Your toddler wakes up in the morning and crawls into your lap. You smile at her and say, I’m so glad you’re awake. I like being with you.

And in that sacred moment you have preached to her a sermon that she is valuable, and hopefully this will soften her heart to receive the magnificent love of God.

We can speak words that tell our husbands and our children and our friends that we like who they are –right now when they are not perfect, and this is the good news of Jesus in real life.

You can bring this simple gift for your family to savor like chocolates –a little bit every day.

Who in your house needs to hear the words, I like you?

~ Christy Fitzwater

Author informationChristy FitzwaterContributor at ChristyFitzwater.com

Christy Fitzwater is a pastor’s wife living in Kalispell, Montana. She is the mother of a son in high school and a daughter who was recently married. She enjoys when the days get shorter and the weather nasty so she doesn’t feel guilty about not going outside. Days where she can just read books and write words all day. She can even tell you the plots of 15 missionary biographies without batting an eye. You can read her personal blog at ChristyFitzwater.

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3 Good Reasons I Won’t Let Our Kids Disrespect Me

To be honest, it surprised me somewhat.

The way the little guy was throwing himself at his mom.

Kinda playing.

Kinda not.

His mom didn’t seem to mind it much and brushed it all off. He was young and cute and it was all harmless now.

And it’s true, her son was adorable.

But smacking at your mom? Not so cute.

Not ever in my book.

I’m not saying that I’d get all worked up over it. I’m just saying that I wouldn’t allow it.

But there are other ways to show disrespect to your mom. More subtle, but equally unacceptable.

Like the young girl who was mocking her mother for having forgotten an item at home. All said with a slight sneer.

She was another cutie, complete with pigtails and bouncy air.

But darlin’, there’s nothing sweet about sassing your mom like that. No ma’am!

Please don’t misunderstand me. I’m not an uptight mom and I have lots of fun with our kids. We often play and joke around together!

But I do expect our children to show me respect—and they know it.

“Respect” has somehow fallen out of favor in this present generation. With the emphasis on freedom and feeling, there’s just not a lot of teaching on courtesy and respect for parents. Yet honoring your father and your mother is a timeless truth and shouldn’t be based on the current cultural trend.

Our children need to learn how to respect us, for their own sake as well as our own. And here’s why . . . 

3 Good Reasons I Won’t Let Our Children Disrespect Me

1.  The Bible says that our children are to honor their mother (and father). So when I’m teaching them to show respect to me? I’m helping them obey God and enjoy the blessings that come with obedience.

“Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise)…. (Eph. 6:2)

2.  By respecting me, our children are learning to respect others in the future. Showing respect is such a beautiful and powerful skill that will benefit them – and others – for the rest of their lives. They’re also learning how to respect their bosses at work someday, their future spouses, and their neighbor next door.

3.  Respect does as much for the child, as it does for the parent. Teaching our children to respect me is less about what I need or want, than it is about teaching our kids the security and strength of respecting others. This value for respect was confirmed when our oldest son mentioned it as one of the best things he’d learned at home: 9 Things I’d Say My Mom Got Right. This lesson is one that will help our children far into the future.

Some Questions Answered
* What would you consider as “respectful”?

While everyone’s definition might vary a bit, in our home that means no smacking, striking, or swinging of any kind. Also, our kids need to use a tone that is in keeping with my role as their mom, such as no yelling or sassing or snarling.  They’re required to use respectful vocabulary and refrain from insults or inappropriate language of any kind.

* How do you handle disrespect when it happens?

First, I’d correct , such as, “No, that’s not how you talk – or treat – your mom.” Then I’d give instruction as to what needed to happen instead. I’m a big fan of Try It Again which means giving the child a chance to say what they want to say, except this time in a respectful voice or manner. If this doesn’t work, or the problem is ongoing, then I’ll hand out consequences—-which vary depending on the situation and age of the child. But we do consider disrespect as a serious matter and, in our family, Dad will make sure that situation is made right.

*What do you do to encourage your children to show you respect?

Good question!  For one, I try to be someone who merits respect – not perfect or amazing – but simply a person who takes to heart her position as mother. Also, I try to make it a point of not getting “down to their level” if they choose to act or speak disrespectfully. Yelling back at them or being ugly in return doesn’t help them to respect me more, but rather less. Keep your tone civil, and even gracious, as you insist they address you in a respectful manner.

So what do you say? Let’s pass on to this next generation the beauty – and blessing – of showing respect to parents!

* Any further thoughts or questions about children respecting their parents? I love hearing from you! 

In His grace,

 

 (This post may contain affiliate links. Read my full disclosure.)

*If you would like these posts delivered directly to your inbox, simply subscribe below (and get 2 FREE eBooks, The 7 Habits of a Highly Fulfilling Marriage and Raising Heavenly-Minded, Down-to-Earth Kids).

Author informationLisaOwner at Club 31 Women

Lisa is the happily-ever-after wife of Matthew Jacobson and together they enjoy raising and home-educating their 8 children in the beautiful Pacific Northwest. She's also rather fond of dark chocolate, French press coffee, and deep friendships (though not necessarily in that order). She encourages women to embrace the rich life of loving relationships and the high calling of being a wife and mother. Lisa is the author of 100 Ways to Love Your Husband and her husband is the author of 100 Ways to Love Your Wife. They are also the authors of several children's books, including a winner of the C.S. Lewis Silver Medal for Children's Literature.

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