Lisa Jacobson's Blog, page 44

Healthier Poppyseed Muffins {& Stretching Our Wings}

I got the opportunity to join Josh on one of his business trips to California a few weeks ago. He only had to work for one day and then the next two days were ours.

That meant as soon as we got to the hotel, I was going to be on my own . . . . 

I hadn’t really ever been on my own in 12 years. I went from being single to dating to marriage all within basically a year after graduating from high school. But even back then, I didn’t like being on my own. Not to say I didn’t enjoy being alone. It was the doing things alone that struck fear into my heart and mind.

I found myself trying to “get out” and do something on my own. Be adventurous and explore a little in a place I was completely unfamiliar with.

I walked the mile it took to get to the pier. It was windy. My hair was blowing in wild directions, blocking my vision while also sticking to my freshly applied glossed lips. “Why didn’t I keep my hair in the ponytail it was in earlier?” I thought to myself. I walked to the end of the pier, took a few pictures, people watched for a few moments before I quickly decided I had had enough of this alone time thing.

To say I disliked it isn’t a strong enough word to use. Could I go as far as to say I hated it?

Maybe. But I know I didn’t enjoy myself. What was wrong with me? Here I was, with many hours to myself (what mom doesn’t dream of that?) on the California coast, surrounded by a beautiful beach.

I got back to my hotel in time to meet my husband before his next meeting. And as I watched him change for his meeting, I sat there completely frozen in horror as it finally dawned on me the reality of my situation.

I had to eat dinner alone and spend time by myself.

I wrestled with my dinner options out loud to Josh. “I don’t have cash for a tip, so what do I do if I order room service? Aren’t I supposed to tip the guy? And the room service food is so expensive. I don’t think I can rationalize spending that kind of money. But, I don’t want to go down to the restaurant and eat by myself. I can’t do that. It’s awkward and weird and I don’t know what to do. I’m going to starve. That’s right. In order to NOT have to make a decision on my own, I would rather starve. I have a KIND bar in my bag I can eat if I get really hungry.”

Josh stepped out of the bathroom and stared at me in silence for a few moments, probably choosing his words very carefully to not risk offending me in my already vulnerable and emotional state because he could sense I was close to tears.

He sat down on the edge of the bed next to me and held my hands. “I think you should take a book and go eat downstairs in the restaurant.  You can certainly order room service if you like, get whatever sounds good, regardless of price. But, I think you will find that if you head down to the restaurant, you will have a better time.”

I hung my head, holding back my tears – the last thing I wanted him to feel like I was doing was making him feel guilty for having to attend a business meeting which was actually an awards dinner. He was getting rewarded and recognized for doing his job well and here I was having some kind of bizarre meltdown.

He continued to say, “The first few times I went out of town by myself and had to eat alone…it was awkward at first. But then I got used to it and actually liked it. It was just me and my kindle and it helped me unwind a bit. I think you need to do this.”

Out of desperate hunger, I finally agreed.

He walked me down to the hotel’s restaurant, kissed me and we parted ways. A waiter asked me where I wanted to sit, and I told him I wasn’t sure (awkward much), so he led me to the outdoor patio, turned a tall outdoor space heater on, left me with the menu and walked away. As I looked around I noticed I had a perfect view of the ocean from where I was sitting.

I ended up having a really nice time . . . by myself.

I ordered probably one of the best burgers I have ever had and read my book. I wasn’t bothered and as far as I know, no one paid much attention to me. I visited the hotel’s fitness center after I ate, knowing that I just needed that rush of endorphins. It always helps put a little pep back into my step. I took a bath to soak my muscles, I did my Bible study, and then I watched the Food Network channel by myself uninterrupted.

It was beautiful.

I mentally gave myself several high-fives for overcoming my fears for something as stupid as eating dinner by myself and before I knew it, Josh was back.

I guess my point in going on about all of this is just…sometimes, we need to be hospitable to ourselves.

Sometimes, we need to focus on us. I was missing my kids like crazy – this was only the third time I had ever left my two year old and I just felt scared. I’m a stay at home mom who also homeschools. Aside from going to the gym or stealing some time away in to shop, I am never on my own. I almost always have someone with me.

The idea of standing alone on my own two feet without anyone to take care of or share something with scared me to death.

I think as moms we get totally focused on doing things for others, which is not a bad thing at all. It’s a great thing. I think it helps keep our focus off of ourselves and on the needs of others (Philippians 2:4), but sometimes our own needs or the needs we have but don’t realize are there can get swept under the rug, and that isn’t good for our kids, our husbands, or anyone else we hope to be able to minister to.

It is important to take a little time for ourselves, and be reassured and encouraged that it’s okay to stretch our wings and do something out of the box. (1 Thessalonians 5:11) To me, it’s a bit like that funny MasterCard commercial about unused vacation days. If you have to work, and you don’t have them, so be it – do everything you do as unto the Lord!

But if you have the opportunity (or if you can make one) to rest and rejuvenate, it’s just as important for your family’s sake – as for your own – that you do so!

With that in mind, I want to share with you my personal favorite muffin, an almond poppyseed muffin.

Our last morning in California, Josh brought me a smoothie and a muffin to eat while I was getting ready and it literally made my morning. He knew exactly what I like. I didn’t have to go through the trouble of deciding what to order, he just chose for me and served me a really beautiful and moist blueberry muffin.

Muffins are one of my favorite breakfast treats and I’ve always felt that muffins are kind of a luxurious breakfast. A little individual serving just for you to enjoy.

Of course, if you make these muffins there is a muffin for you and 11 extra muffins to share with the ones you love.

~ Chels {Catz in the Kitchen}

Print
Healthier Poppyseed Muffins


Author: Chelsia Rief
Recipe type: Breakfast



Serves: 12 muffins
 

That perfect muffin top, almond flavoring, and a nice helping of poppyseeds. It’s everything you love about the classic poppyseed muffin but with fewer calories.

Ingredients

1½ cups all-purpose flour
½ cup whole wheat flour
½ tsp salt
¾ tsp baking soda
¼ cup sugar
½ cup low fat Greek yogurt
½ cup agave nectar
⅓ cup applesauce
¼ cup skim milk
1 egg
2 tsp almond extract
2 tbsp poppyseeds




Instructions

Pre-heat oven to 375 degrees and spray and 12 whole muffin pan with non-stick spray.
In a large bowl whisk together yogurt, agave nectar, applesauce, skim milk, and egg. Set aside.
In a medium bowl, combine flours, salt, and baking soda. Pour the dry mixture into the wet mixture and using a wooden spoon gently stir until just combined. Add poppyseeds and stir just until evenly mixed through.
Fill muffin cups about ½ way full and bake for 15-18 minutes. Cool completely on wire rack. Store in an air-tight container. Will keep for 3-4 days.




Nutrition Information
Calories: 160


3.2.2929

 

Author informationChelsia Rief

Chels is a born-again believer who dreams of living with all four seasons in Central Oregon. She's a wife and stay at home mom to her three vivacious kiddos whom she home schools. When she's not schooling or chasing after her munchkins, she enjoys reading, bubble baths, and finding clothing/kitchen treasure at thrift stores. But more than all of that, she finds refuge in her kitchen where she and her husband can be found cooking and baking up a storm for their family and friends. You can read more about her culinary endeavors at CatzintheKitchen.com.

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What If You’ve Tried and Tried and Tried? {Encouragement for When You’re Ready to Give Up}

I like to think that I am pretty easy-going when it comes to my parenting style.

In general, I don’t stress out over spilled milk, smashed cheerios or broken mirrors. I don’t mind uncontrollable giggles, nonstop chit-chatter, or even a rumbustious game of tag. The only time I am known to lose my patience with normal child-like behaviors is when I need a nap.

When I’ve been sleep-deprived, I am slow, impatient and dare I say . . . mean. I am a firm believer that children behave better and are generally happier when they are well-rested and, well, so do I!

That’s right folks – My name is Wynter Pitts and I am a napper!

When my kiddos were very young our days would be strategically planned around naptime, and bedtime would be deliberate and swiftly executed. We enjoyed our days together and played hard, but we had definitive boundaries and a system of shut-eye!

Then something happened.

Enter my 3rd and 4th daughters –twins.

We welcomed these beautiful girls into our world at once, but apparently they missed the memo. My new angels would . . . not . . . sleep!

It was not pretty.

Desperate for Help

I called for help.

Yes, I did. In my desperation, I reached out to a “baby sleep expert.”

She requested our current sleep schedule and then provided me a revised plan that was guaranteed to help us regain normalcy, well-rested children, and peace-filled days.

The new routine required me to make some adjustments to our already strategic sleeping schedule.  She prescribed intentionality and exactness to ensure the success of the program.  This required waking my sleeping children (wake up at precise times in order to ensure they would be ready to rest again when it was time).

Do you see the dilemma?

As I mentioned previously, sleep is a big deal and I didn’t particularly like to wake sleeping children. Especially a set of twins that were already not sleeping! Several conversations with the “baby sleep expert” gave me courage to begin the program in hopes that scheduling down to the minute would result in two sleeping babies, 2 happy big sisters, and an overjoyed mommy!

Reluctantly, I tried.

And tried.

And tried.

For a few weeks that seemed like an eternity, I would lay my girls down for a certain amount of time and keep them awake for the designated time. The intention was to train them to sleep at night with adequate nap times during the day.

I needed this to work and, frankly, it wasn’t.

I was definitely doing more waking up than they were sleeping, and I was miserable.  My efforts were not paying off and I was exhausted.

In a final attempt, I reached out to my “expert” and shared our trials with her.  I informed her that I was just about at the end of my journey with this experiment. I thanked her for her efforts and time but just before we finished our conversation, she said a few words that would be locked into my memory.

“Keep following the schedule as if it is working, because it will work.”

I am not sure why these words hit me so hard, but they did. I began our conversation with the intention of giving up, but I ended the conversation with a brand new drive, determination, and perspective.

When You’re Just About Ready to Give Up

A few more days went by with me putting down wide-awake babies and waking up barely sleeping babies.

I was working –  hard I may add – as if the plan were working . . . until one day, finally, it did!

One morning I woke up rested from a full night’s sleep and so did they.

Have you ever poured all of your blood, sweat and tears into something day after day with no result in sight? Maybe you are exhausted and just about ready to give up.

Well, I want to encourage you today with the same words that encouraged me . . . .

Keep  ______________ as if it is working, because it will work.

Fill in your blank.  Is it . . .  

Trusting God?

Being faithful in marriage?

Disciplining your children in love?

Friends, I encourage you to keep going as if it’s working. God promises that one day it will. 

~ Wynter Pitts, For Girls Like You

*What is something that you could use encouragement in right now? Anything we can pray about for you? 

Wynter Pitts is the author of the newly-released, For Girls Like You: A Devotional for Tweens. She is also the founder of For Girls Like You, a ministry to girls that includes a print magazine. She has a drive to introduce young girls to Christian values so they can walk passionately and boldly. A native of Baltimore, Wynter resides in Dallas, Texas, with her husband, Jonathan, and their four daughters.

You can find Wynter on her blog and follow her on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Instagram.

********
For Girls Like You: A Devotional for Tweens

Tween girls have access to an unbelievable amount of media and information with just a simple click of the remote or mouse. Every outlet they turn to attempts to subtly influence their worldview…and what they believe about themselves directly affects how they live.

Wynter Pitts, founder of For Girls Like You magazine, gives girls a new devotional showing them a correct definition of themselves, opening their eyes to God’s truth and the difference it makes in their lives. Each daily devotion includes a prayer to help girls apply the lesson. ~ from the Publisher

(This post may contain affiliate links. Read my full disclosure.)

For Girls Like You!  is available for purchase HERE:

For Girls Like You: A Devotional for Tweens 

The post What If You’ve Tried and Tried and Tried? {Encouragement for When You’re Ready to Give Up} appeared first on Club 31 Women.

If You’ve Never Said, I’m Sorry {An Unapologetic Word to Wives}

 I thought it was just me.

One of my particular quirks.

Because I happen to be terrible at saying, I’m sorry.

Oh, not to you. I’d apologize all day long to you. I’m sorry if I was a little late. I’m sorry if I forgot to call you. I’m very sorry if I hurt your feelings or let you down.

I’m actually quick to tell you I’m sorry, my friend.

The problem is with saying sorry to my husband.

When it comes to him, I’m much better at brushing things over. Willing to work on stuff, mind you. But not necessarily to come right out and say it.

I’m sorry.

Or, I was wrong.

And, Will you forgive me?

Maybe you think it’s because I’m proud. That I’m so hesitant to apologize to him. But I don’t like to think of it that way because . . . .

I’m proud.

And I don’t like being wrong.

And it’s not easy for me to say I’m sorry.

I’ve got my reasons and if I was going to be totally honest? I don’t believe what I did was really all that bad. Or maybe it’s because what he did was so much worse than what I did, it doesn’t seem like it should count. Or, I’m convinced that all the right stuff I do outweighs the wrongs and so I should get a pass.

You see how it is. The truth is that I don’t say I’m sorry because I’m NOT sorry. 

Now it’s funny that I thought this was just my own personal issue. Because I was recently with a group of girlfriends and we got to talking about this I-Don’t-Say-I’m-Sorry-Thing and, what d’ya know . . .

I’m not the only one.

Each woman there admitted that apologizing isn’t her strong point. Even though her husband was ready to ask forgiveness, she . . . was less so. As in, almost never.

Now maybe you’re the wife who feels like she is continually seeking forgiveness and he’s the one who never does. If so, then this word is not for you.

No, this one is for the rest of us. This is for those of us who find we have so much to say—unless it’s, I’m sorry. And then suddenly, strangely, we can’t quite figure out how to go about it. Not sure how to put it and when would be a good time to have that conversation.

But let’s walk this one out. See what it might look like. You know, in case you’ve . . . .

not been respecting him as you know you should (Eph. 5:33)
snapped at him this morning (even though it was somewhat justified!)
not expressed appreciation for those things he does well
complained to him, rather than been thankful
not been as loving as you want to be – or should be

If so? Then the right thing to do is to go up to him and say something along these lines:

Hey Love, I’d like to talk to you. I want you to know that I am sorry. I’m sorry for the way I’ve treated you lately. It’s wrong of me and it’s not how I want to be. Will you forgive me?

And just so you know? All of this takes less than 20 seconds. Literally, that’s all it takes. I know because I timed it. (Yes, I really did.)

Who would have thought 20 seconds would do so much for a relationship?

But a sincere apology is like that. Saying I’m sorry is powerful, healing, and those 20 seconds will last you far into a lifetime.

So if you haven’t yet said, I’m sorry? And, Will you forgive me?  Then I’m telling you – without apology – that you should start. Soon.

I promise, you won’t be sorry that you did.

In His grace,

 

 (This post may contain affiliate links. Read my full disclosure.)

*If you would like these posts delivered directly to your inbox, simply subscribe below (and get 2 FREE eBooks, The 7 Habits of a Highly Fulfilling Marriage and Raising Heavenly-Minded, Down-to-Earth Kids).

Author informationLisaOwner at Club 31 Women

Lisa is the happily-ever-after wife of Matthew Jacobson and together they enjoy raising and home-educating their 8 children in the beautiful Pacific Northwest. She's also rather fond of dark chocolate, French press coffee, and deep friendships (though not necessarily in that order). She encourages women to embrace the rich life of loving relationships and the high calling of being a wife and mother. Lisa is the author of 100 Ways to Love Your Husband and her husband is the author of 100 Ways to Love Your Wife. They are also the authors of several children's books, including a winner of the C.S. Lewis Silver Medal for Children's Literature.

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7 Ways To Get More Done Around The Home

I am a work at home mom of three beautiful children with ages ranging from 1 through 16. We are also a homeschooling family, so it not’s unusual for me to get overwhelmed at times with all the responsibilities I have on my plate. However, there are a few things that I’ve learned over the years that have helped me manage my home better.

After facing a period in my life where I was constantly tired, depressed, and stressed out, I knew that something needed to change. I was constantly complaining and rarely had a smile on my face. It took one of my kids pointing out the fact that “mommy is never happy” for me to realize that I had allowed a to-do list to determine my attitude.

Is it easy? Absolutely not! There are days that I still feel exhausted and I have to ask God to give my heart peace. However, there are things that I can do to get more done without getting overwhelmed.

7 Ways To Get More Done Around The Home
1. Get up earlier.

Getting up earlier than the rest of the family is a great way to get a head start on your to-do list. I find that getting up even an hour earlier can make a huge difference on how productive I am for the day. It’s also a great time to fit in your devotionals and connect with God before you start your day.

2. Have a plan.

Creating a list of the tasks you need to tackle each day will help you focus and prioritize your time. I find that tackling the tasks that are non-negotiable first, makes it much easier to tackle the remainder of my to-do list.

3. Keep it simple.

Although having a plan is very important, you also need to make sure that it’s not complicated. Keeping a simple list with your top 3-5 tasks is a great start. I find that if I make my to-do list too long, I wind up feeling frustrated if I’m not able to tackle everything.

4. Delegate.

Initially this was very hard for me to do. I thought that as a mother I should be doing it all, but soon realized that it wasn’t possible without another area of my life being affected. Allowing my family to help out and delegating tasks was the best thing I could have done. Not only does it teach the kids responsibilities, it also helps your family take pride in their home and be appreciative of how hard you work.

5. Maximize your time.

Aside from waking up early, I also like to take advantage of nap times or any pockets of free time that I find throughout the day. My toddler’s naps are typically an hour long, but I find that in that short period of time I can start a load of laundry or clear my inbox.

6. Do it with joy.

Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people. ~ Colossians 3:23 (NLT). It’s not easy to pick up toys for the umpteenth time without complaining, but God wants us to serve our family with a joyful heart. When you find joy in serving your family, it won’t be so daunting to tackle the mountain of laundry or the pile of dishes sitting in the sink. Remember that you are blessing your spouse and children by giving them a safe and comfortable home.

7. Let go of perfection.

I remember spending hours picking up after the kids and even scolding them if they made a mess. My home might have looked spotless, but my kids couldn’t even enjoy it. Your home is a blessing from God, a haven where you create memories with your loved ones. Your family won’t remember if the home was perfectly clean, but they will remember if you were present in their lives.

*Do you find yourself overwhelmed with your daily tasks? My prayer is that you will find a way to balance your responsibilities without taking away from those that matter most.

Jesenia is a God loving, recovering perfectionist, homeschooling mother of 3. She’s married to her wonderful husband and resides in their Pennsylvania home located in the beautiful Amish countryside. She is also the blogger behind The Latina Homemaker where she shares homemaking tips, frugal living advice and delicious recipes for busy moms. When she’s not busy juggling the home she loves to indulge in a delicious cup of coffee paired with a great book. “Family over laundry” is the motto she lives by.

Please visit Jesenia at her blog, The Latina Homemaker, or find her on Facebook or on Twitter!

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Bringing Up Boys: An Encouraging and Helpful Resource for Raising Sons

Okay, I’ll just come right out with it.

I LOVE raising boys! 

I never would have guessed when I started this motherhood journey that having sons would be so much fun.

Sure, they’re noisy (super-noisy!) and messy and energetic, but boys are awesome too.

And you know something? Now that our oldest “boy” is no longer a boy – but a young man of 21 years – I’m more convinced than ever that it is more than worth it.

The last time he was home for Christmas and he put his strong arms around my shoulder and told me he missed my hugs  . . . . well, there’s nothing quite like it.

Maybe you’re a mom who is in the “thick” of raising a son and could use some encouragement? Some ideas on how to make the most of it? How to reach his heart?

Encouraging and Helpful Articles on Raising Sons
24 Ways to Prepare Your Young Man to Become A Gentleman
Boys Are Awesome and The Best Way to Love Them
9 Things I’d Say My Mom Got Right
What’s the Best Way for A Mom to Show Love to Her Son?
21 Questions Your Son Really Needs You to Ask Him
Instilling Vision in Our Sons
12 Lessons I Want Our Son to Learn Before He Turns 12
Raising Our Sons to Seek After God
7 Steps to Raising A Courageous Young Son

So now we’ve got one son who is off and well on his way, but then there are these three little guys . . . .  noisy, messy, and energetic!

And awesome. 

I love raising boys, don’t you?

In His grace,

 

P.S. Here’s another resource if you’ve got girls: Growing Up Girls: An Encouraging and Helpful Resource for Raising Daughters

 (This post may contain affiliate links. Read my full disclosure.)

*If you would like these posts delivered directly to your inbox, simply subscribe below (and get 2 FREE eBooks, The 7 Habits of a Highly Fulfilling Marriage and Raising Heavenly-Minded, Down-to-Earth Kids).

Author informationLisaOwner at Club 31 Women

Lisa is the happily-ever-after wife of Matthew Jacobson and together they enjoy raising and home-educating their 8 children in the beautiful Pacific Northwest. She's also rather fond of dark chocolate, French press coffee, and deep friendships (though not necessarily in that order). She encourages women to embrace the rich life of loving relationships and the high calling of being a wife and mother. Lisa is the author of 100 Ways to Love Your Husband and her husband is the author of 100 Ways to Love Your Wife. They are also the authors of several children's books, including a winner of the C.S. Lewis Silver Medal for Children's Literature.

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3 Things to Do If You’re Ready for a Real Change

Mom? How long before you start to look better?

This question was asked in the middle of a workout. Moving in stride with the Zumba dancers on the television screen, my focus was on keeping my core pulled in while simultaneously breathing properly. Nearly breathless, I had just enough left to gasp. Though she’d asked it sincerely and innocently, this question had the potential to cut. Deeply. The implication was that I did not look all that great.

Truth be told: she was right. I already knew this for myself.

Pregnancies had taken creative license with my physique, pulling, stretching and sagging places that I didn’t even realize existed. While my babies are a miraculous blessing, and I did not enjoy the seemingly permanent changes I now faced as a result of pregnancy. My role, in neglecting physical activity and indulging in too many non-nutritional foods more than on special occasions, did not help either.

I was ready for change.
3 Things to Do If You’re Ready for a Real Change
First, I prayed.

Romans 12:2 (NLT) says “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.” (Emphasis mine.) My frustration with my physical appearance was distracting from my purpose. I couldn’t serve God effectively if I couldn’t serve Him wholly.

I asked God to help me reset my thinking. Burdens in our lives can distract us from God’s best for us. These could be finances, career, romantic relationship, friendship and more. We need God’s help to shift the focus from ourselves to what He can do for us, when we ask.

Secondly, I set realistic goals.

I wanted more energy to care for my family. Exercise and better eating habits needed to be consistent. The idea of one day gracing a magazine cover with my un-photoshopped physique did not interest me. I wanted to enjoy shopping trips again, free to try on all sorts of clothes, without presuming ahead of time that they would not look good on me.

Could I adjust my schedule to allow time for exercise? Yes. Could I plan well-balanced meals and leave certain food items on the grocery store shelves? Yes.

Finally, I had to start.

Forget waiting until this occasion or that holiday had passed, or even until the next calendar Monday. I needed to dive right in and work around whatever came in my path.

I didn’t need God to send me additional signs of whether or not this was right. He’d already been talking to me about this for some time. It was my turn to be obedient to His leading. There are moments when God has been speaking to our hearts about something for a period of time. We know what we should do, yet we stubbornly cling to our way while pleading for additional signs. Obedience spares us from unnecessary stress.

When my daughter asked me ‘how long before I start to look better?’, it didn’t bother me. I had acknowledged it and had begun to prayerfully tackle this issue before her question.

My desire wasn’t just to look better but to live better. I am trusting God with this part of my life, for His glory.

~ Sabrina

*What are some changes you’ve been wanting in your own life? What encourages you to make that change?

Sabrina is a stay-at-home wife and homeschooling mom of 4. As she grew up, she believed that there was nothing worth telling about her dull life. However, God has used various circumstances and people to show her glimpses of His amazing goodness as He pens her story. Amidst all of this, Sabrina has learned that how she chooses to live is what adds flair and makes her story worth telling. Her lifelong passion is to share encouragement through writing. Despite the hectic pace of her life, Sabrina always makes time for music, reading and a large cup of tea.

I hope you’ll visit Sabrina on her blog, Sabrina J~R, as well as on Facebook and Twitter!

 (This post may contain affiliate links. Read my full disclosure.)

*If you would like these posts delivered directly to your inbox, simply subscribe below (and get 2 FREE eBooks, The 7 Habits of a Highly Fulfilling Marriage and Raising Heavenly-Minded, Down-to-Earth Kids).

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The Bare Essentials: What I Tell My Daughters About Modesty

I was practically born in a bikini.

Okay, so I was probably wearing less than that.

But I did grow up hearing my mom tell people that I was only 3 weeks old when I took my first trip to the beach. Living close to the sunny Southern California coast, it’s where I spent most of my childhood—at the beach.

And, if you didn’t already know this, beaches and bikinis . . . well, they just kind of go together.

Like mint-chip and ice-cream.

Or something like that. 

My point is that I didn’t exactly grow up in an Amish community and modesty wasn’t the hot topic for those of us immersed in the beach culture.

Even though I attended church, I honestly don’t remember the topic of modesty being brought up there. Not in Sunday School, in sermons, or at youth group. Maybe I just missed it, but it was rarely, if ever, mentioned in our church setting.

So I feel a little funny telling you this, but it wasn’t until I was all grown up – a wife and a mother – that I realized that modesty wasn’t merely a “nice” subject for “nice” girls, but was actually a biblical one. Like, it’s literally found  in the Bible and that I should probably try to figure out what modesty really means. (I Timothy 2:9-10)

I said I was a mom, but I should add that I’m a mom to four girls. So not only did I need to come to grips with this whole modesty thing, I now had the responsibility of teaching our daughters about it. And it’s not quite as easy as it sounds.

Do I “lay down the law” and decide what the girls can – and can’t – wear? Or do I ignore the topic altogether and hope they figure it out for themselves?

Neither of these approaches set very well with me.

I’ll admit that I wish it was defined a bit more clearly. You know, what modesty is and what it is not. Seems to me that it would have made things a lot more simple.

But then again, the Bible also says we’re to “love one another fervently” and doesn’t explain the “rules” of how we’re to go about that. Yet it doesn’t keep us from seeking what love might look like. How that might play out.

So modesty doesn’t come with a rule-book either. But I’ve decided I’m willing to wrestle with it. And our daughters are right there with me and we’re working it out together.

Does modesty merely involve wearing more clothes? Ditching the bikini? Never wearing jeans? Always wearing skirts? But never short skirts? And . . . how short is “short” anyway?

I’m sorry, but you’re going to be disappointed if you were hoping that I’d answer these questions.

Except maybe the one about the bikini. That got ditched. A while ago.

But I do still love mint-chip ice-cream, just so you know . . . and if you wanted to send me some. 

What I can tell you is what I tell our teenage daughters. What I believe to be the bare essentials about a woman and modesty.

The Bare Essentials: What I Tell My Daughters About Modesty

Modesty has far more to do with our hearts, than it does with our clothing. Anyone getting all caught up in the apparel is probably missing the point.

Our beauty should come from within and not be wrapped up in our bodies. True beauty is found in our hearts and will be evident to anyone around us. Baring our bodies doesn’t make us more beautiful. No matter what the world might tell you.

God made women with feminine curves and that’s nothing to apologize for. So we don’t need to hide them, just not accentuate them to a point of distraction.

Save sexy for marriage. It’s the best place for it. In fact, it’s a great place for it.

Sometimes it helps to get a second opinion. Does this work? Too little, or too much? This is what friends – or sisters or mothers – are for.

Modesty doesn’t have to mean frumpy. No need to completely abandon style or taste in the process.

If God had wanted modesty to consist of a bunch of rules, He would have listed them out for us. Just remember the point is not to see how much – or how little – we can get away with.

Our definition of modesty might look a bit different than that of others. Some of our friends wear only dresses and some of our friends wear only jeans. As it happens, around here we wear both.

Sometimes modesty means simply dressing appropriately for the occasion. In other words, don’t wear a ball gown to the beach and don’t wear your bathing suit to the dance.

My job as mom is to teach the principle of modesty, but I didn’t sign up to be the Modesty Police. You belong to Christ and I won’t be dictating your clothing choices.

The Holy Spirit will guide if you ask Him for wisdom in this matter of modesty. Look to Him for direction and you will do well.

Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. ~ I Peter 3:3-4

So, my dear daughters, I hope you always walk in love and forever in beauty.

Imperishable beauty. 

Because you are truly precious.

In His grace,

 

*I always welcome comments and discussion and look forward to hearing your thoughts and questions. A gentle reminder, however, that Club31Women is a community where we strive to speak both grace and truth, so please refrain from insulting, divisive, or judgmental comments.  Thank you ~ Lisa

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Author informationLisaOwner at Club 31 Women

Lisa is the happily-ever-after wife of Matthew Jacobson and together they enjoy raising and home-educating their 8 children in the beautiful Pacific Northwest. She's also rather fond of dark chocolate, French press coffee, and deep friendships (though not necessarily in that order). She encourages women to embrace the rich life of loving relationships and the high calling of being a wife and mother. Lisa is the author of 100 Ways to Love Your Husband and her husband is the author of 100 Ways to Love Your Wife. They are also the authors of several children's books, including a winner of the C.S. Lewis Silver Medal for Children's Literature.

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Homemaking When You’re in Survival Mode

Whether it’s a life change such as moving or a new baby, illness, or a busy season with a job, there are times when all you can do is just survive. Forget serving balanced meals; you’re happy that you even remembered to call the pizza delivery man.

How do you keep your home straight when you can’t even seem to find time to keep your head on straight?

These are some of the things I’ve learned about homemaking when I have to face those seasons in my own life:

1. Be willing to accept help.

This is hard for me, and I’m sure it’s hard for most people. It’s embarrassing to let someone see your messy house, let alone allow them to clean it for you. You feel badly letting someone else trouble themselves to cook your supper or watch your kids for you. But if people want to help – let them! They want to be a blessing, and you’ll be glad when you allow them that opportunity.

2. Lower your expectations.

Don’t get upset if you’re not serving your usual home cooked meals for supper.  Let everyone eat sandwiches, be happy they have something in their belly, and leave it at that.   You may be running clothes through the washer and dryer and never getting them folded.  If you have to live out of the laundry basket for a while, don’t sweat it.  Just be glad everyone has something to wear.

Your house will not be spotless.  Accept that fact, do what you can, and don’t worry about the rest.

3. Simplify.

Make everything as easy as possible for yourself. Remove everything from your schedule that is not absolutely essential. Use paper plates at meals. If you’re in the bed and you have small children, try to keep everyone confined to the same room. This will save the house from getting torn apart by curious little hands. Occupy the kids with videos or activities they can do themselves (coloring books, puzzles, etc.)

4. Use the timer.

Whether you’re suffering from illness or are just extremely busy, most people can still carve out one 15 minute cleaning session each day. Set the timer for 15 minutes and straighten the house as quickly as you can, starting with whatever area is bothering you the most. If you absolutely can’t do 15 minutes, try to do just 5. You’ll still be surprised how much can get done!

5. Brighten your mood.

When you’re not feeling well, the house is falling apart, and you feel like a lousy wife and mother because you can’t keep up with everything, it is easy to start feeling depressed. Make it a priority to spend time with the Lord each day because the joy of the Lord is your strength. (Here are some ways you can find time for God when you can hardly find time to breathe.)

Find other ways to cheer up the atmosphere of your home. Raise the window shades and let in some sunlight. Clean one room thoroughly, shut yourself in away from the rest of the mess, and enjoy the view! Turn on some uplifting music. Count your blessings and focus on the positive.

~ MaryEllen Bream, ImperfectHomemaker

*Are you in a season of surviving?  What can you do to make things as peaceful as possible in spite of your difficult circumstances?

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Author informationMaryEllen Bream

MaryEllen is a stay at home wife and mommy who is passionate about inspiring other homemakers to be all that God wants them to be.  She blogs at Imperfect Homemaker where she shares her articles and inspiration about homemaking, homeschooling, and natural living.

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Swiss Chicken Dinner {& Welcome to The Family}

Every year, I look forward our church’s annual “He is Risen” breakfast potluck.

Aside from being a time of fellowship and good food, it is also a special memory for Josh and I. It marks the anniversary of our engagement (12 years ago this year)! Of course, Easter lands on a different date every single year while our engagement anniversary remains April 18, but the memory is the same!

Josh and I had been dating for almost a year, and on Easter weekend he got done on one knee and asked me to spend the rest of my life with him.

I (of course!) said yes, and we spent the rest of the evening with his family celebrating our engagement over homemade milkshakes! My favorite moment (aside from being asked and saying yes) was when I walked into his parents’ home and his mom held out her arms to embrace me and said, “Welcome to the family.”

I can’t help but think . . . isn’t that what Easter is all about? Through the cross, Christ invited us home and into His family. (John 1:12)

And isn’t that what He wants us to do for others? Invite them into our lives, our churches, and our homes, sharing with them, through our words, actions, and attitudes, the good news of Christ? Breaking bread and fellowshipping . . . and, of course, dressing up – what’s a holiday without a little dress up?

This Easter, invite someone into your home or to your church and celebrate our risen King.

As I mentioned, we have an Easter breakfast before our church service, and that’s always a wonderful time to invite friends, family, neighbors, and acquaintances and let the sweet aroma of fellowship welcome them with open arms. (I Pet 4:9)

As to the food, we don’t usually have the traditional meal of ham at our dinner table, but chicken is always a crowd-pleaser, especially this Swiss Chicken dinner – it is just so delicious! It’s got a yummy crunchy topping, melty Swiss cheese over the chicken, and is baked in a creamy sauce that is remarkably easy to prepare.

I promise, you and your guests will love this dish even more as it frees up your time in the kitchen so you can enjoy your time together – while being elegant enough for a holiday dinner (without the fuss)!

~ Chels {Catz in the Kitchen}

Print
Swiss Chicken Dinner


Author: Lisa Pearson
Recipe type: Entree



Serves: 8-10
 

Cheesy, crunchy, moist perfect chicken! An elegant dish without all the work, but with all of the flavor.

Ingredients

5 large boneless, skinless chicken breasts, cut into halves
1 tsp salt
1 tsp pepper
1½ tsp garlic powder
1 (15 oz) can cream of chicken soup
½ cup sherry
1 pkg (6 oz) Stovetop chicken stuffing
½ cup unsalted butter, melted
½ lb grated Swiss cheese




Instructions

Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees. Place chicken in 9×13 baking dish.
Sprinkle with salt, pepper, and garlic powder.
Spread grated swiss cheese over the chicken.
In a medium sized bowl, combine the cream of chicken soup with the sherry and whisk until incorporated. Drizzle over the cheese.
Place stuffing on top of the sauce and evenly pour the melted butter over all of the stuffing.
Bake uncovered for one hour or until chicken is done.



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Author informationChelsia Rief

Chels is a born-again believer who dreams of living with all four seasons in Central Oregon. She's a wife and stay at home mom to her three vivacious kiddos whom she home schools. When she's not schooling or chasing after her munchkins, she enjoys reading, bubble baths, and finding clothing/kitchen treasure at thrift stores. But more than all of that, she finds refuge in her kitchen where she and her husband can be found cooking and baking up a storm for their family and friends. You can read more about her culinary endeavors at CatzintheKitchen.com.

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FILLED: 3 Reasons to Embrace Failure

I knew it was a privilege to mother these kids, but there I was, snapping, lecturing, even belittling.

I was called to write, but my words felt wooden, ordinary, so much less than “that other writer’s.”

I offered truth spoken in love, but feared I’d destroyed a friendship.

To top it all off, I lost my child’s most important legal document.

Self-demeaning words flooded my mind.

Failure. Wannabe. Inept. Idiot.

So goes the battle.

Will I let the enemy debilitate me through my failures? Or will I let God refine me through them?

While wallowing in self-pity frequently holds morbid appeal, today I choose to claim these failures for good.

Here’s why.

1)   They force me to recognize my inadequacies.

It’s clear to me (again) that I need Jesus. Desperately. If there weren’t already several hymns and choruses written about needing Jesus every hour, I’d compose one now. And another one tomorrow.

The apostle Paul gloried in his weakness and boasted in Christ’s strength. Like him, I’m a vessel of clay.

The type that breaks.

The kind so full of holes that it reveals completely what’s on the inside.

The only way I can be used is to be filled with Jesus.

2)   Failures show me where I can grow.

Though I may be tempted to wallow or despair, I could also step back and take a realistic look at my shortcomings.

Are there areas I can improve in? Most definitely.

I can learn to parent proactively instead of reactively.
I can develop the skills I currently covet.
I can help friends at God’s leading, but also rest in Him when results aren’t ideal.
I can organize more effectively to avoid losing what’s important.

This is the stuff of life. Why would I not seize the opportunity to grow into the “me” that Jesus is developing?

3)   My failures point out the adequacy I have through Christ.

God always equips those He calls. If He’s given me children, He’ll supply the grace and wisdom I need to parent them. If He’s called me to a particular vocation, He’ll give me strength to hone my craft. He’ll accomplish things I can’t see when I’m obedient. He’ll help me bring order to chaos.

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. (Philippians 4:13)

And my flops, my weaknesses, and my down-and-out failures serve to remind me that anything good is entirely of Him.

But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, so that the surpassing greatness of the power will be of God and not from ourselves. (2 Corinthians 4:7)

I don’t like failure any more than you do. And by God’s grace, I’m not going to live in its shadow. But while I feel its sting, I’ll embrace God’s purposes and learn the lessons He has for me.

*What are you learning from your inadequacies today? How can I pray for you? May our Savior fill you with hope and strength!

Blessings,

Jennifer Ebenhack

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Author informationJennifer EbenhackContributor

Jennifer is the author of ">Take Courage: Choosing faith on my journey of fear, and blogs at jenniferebenhack.com. She and her husband Jarod served as missionaries in the country of Haiti, where they became parents to all five of their children, three of whom are adopted. Those eventful years produced a gift of brokenness in Jennifer through which she has discovered the depths of God’s healing grace.

In between loads of laundry, homeschooling, and enjoying the South Florida shoreline she is writing a memoir of their nine-year adoption process and eight years in Haiti.

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