Akosua Dardaine Edwards's Blog, page 63

The Relevance of the Ego

 Reality check: You can’t lose your ego, so don’t try to kill it. The Mental Break

On an online course I participated in last month, a question was asked "How do I kill the ego?"

I thought about it for a moment because I truthfully never thought about the option of killing the ego.

It came to me at that moment that the ego can be useful. The ego is the part of us that lets us know to wash our face in the morning, to take the spinach out of our teeth when in a full room, it allows us to know that something may be off. The false ego is what we need to pay attention to. The false ego is that part of ourselves that focuses on competition over collaboration, it looks at external validation, it says to you that you must win, must be better than others, must have the last word, must show only the best side of ourselves to continue to be liked, appreciated and accepted.

The false ego feeds on anything other than love, it feeds on separation.

So the question meant to me is how do we focus on the positive rather than kill the negative ego.

Accepting our shadow selves is a key part of taming the ego. What is our shadow self? Sheri Jacobson puts this into perspective The ‘shadow’ is the side of your personality that contains all the parts of yourself that you don’t want to admit to having.

It is at first an unconscious side. It is only through effort to become self-aware that we recognise our shadow.

Although many infer the shadow is ‘negative’, this is not really true. The Shadow is rather what you yourself perceive as dark and weak about yourself, and therefore needing to be hidden and denied. But this depends on your own perspective on life, and your levels of self-esteem.

So while for one person their shadow might just contain such classic elements as sadness, rage, laziness, and cruelty, you might also hide your personal power, your independence, or your emotional sensitivity.

The negative ego is part of our shadow side

For us to live a full life, we must acknowledge and embrace all sides of ourselves, and remember who we are by affirming that.

Peace

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Ask Yourself Different Questions

 The approver is within. The Naked Poet

When we are under siege by what we think are worst case scenarios we tend to as questions that are debilitating.

Why me?

What's wrong?

Who's to blame?

Who's fault if this?

Those questions in times like this don't assist us, they pull us down the rabbit hole of negativity, fear. doubt and worry, of which many people have perfected. As they do their worry, doubt and fear becomes bigger.

We want to be asking a different type of question

What is in me that is seeking to emerge?

What kind of person do I want to be?

What am I to give birth to?

The still small voice will emerge when you ask empowering questions

Peace

Akosua

Labels

 Love is hard to define - because Love is destroyed by defining it. Ginormous Budda

Labels - How do you use them on yourself? What do you call yourself - consciously or unconsciously?

What do you attach your I AM too? Part of living in our power is how we do or do not label ourselves.

Some of us label ourselves with limitations.

Some of us label ourselves and have outgrown the labels. 

Some of us accept the labels that have been placed upon us bu others.

The challenge of remaining living within those labels when you have outgrown them involves limitations.

The limitation of sometimes living down to the labels - diming your light to fit in, doing what is expected of you because of the label given or accepted can lead to resentment or even guilt.

How do you see yourself?

How do you call yourself?

How do you respond to calls?

What labels do you live up to or live down to?

Be careful when you label something, including yourself that you don't destroy something else.

Peace

Power Pact

 You move different when you understand your power - Virgo Goddess

How do you define power?

My best definition of power is faith in a higher power, a consciousness, offering a sense of peace, contentment, confidence and hope.

As you can see my favorite definition has very little to do with money, status, titles and positions.  Power to me, comes from a sense of knowing that you have something inside of you, sometimes you may not even be able to describe it. That something brings a sense of confidence , a sense of hope that a situation can never make us feel helpless inferior and out of control.

That power reflects in our actions, in our behavior, in the way we show up. When we face challenging situations, we can tap into that power source. With that we can remain conscious, we can remain confident and we can remain hopeful.

These are some of the ways in which we give away our power:

1. Thinking that we do not have any, feeling powerless.

2.  You remain quiet only to avoid conflict. 

3. You procrastinate to avoid making a choice. You wait for perfection.

4. You neglect the guidance from your intuition.

5.  You play small. You either have no clear boundaries or do not enforce the ones that you have.

Take your power back

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Sensible Optimism

 

Optimism is usually defined as a belief that things will go well. But that's incomplete. Sensible optimism is a belief that the odds are in your favor, and over time things will balance out to a good outcome even if what happens in between is filled with misery. And in fact you know it will be filled with misery. You can be optimistic that the long-term growth trajectory is up and to the right, but equally sure that the road between now and then is filled with landmines, and always will be. Those two things are not mutually exclusive."

Who told us that all the roads on the Journey of life will be smooth and bump free?

And even if you knew or remember who told you, why did you believe it given what you know?

What if the blessing, what if the growth, what if the joy is found on the rocky bumpy road?

What if?

And if it is, we can rest easier that the bumps and rocky roads are designed with us in mind, designed for us to grow, to learn, to live a life that is filled with variety.

What if it really is all for us?

This is the philosophy that I have embraced for this year 2020. The year has thrown me full on into the bumpy rocky road. What if it was designed just for me to grow and be ready for what is on the other side of the year?

Get ready, use what is given to you, and know that this too shall pass

Peace

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Mindset Shifts

 I look at the human life like an experiment. Every new moment, every new experience, tragic or otherwise, is an opportunity to gain a more accurate perspective and helps lead me to clarity.  Steve  

I had a penny dropping moment yesterday. You know that moment when that thing which was fogging up your mind and thinking becomes so clear? The AHA moment as Oprah calls it.

The moment I realized that when I focus on what I think and acknowledge those feelings I get a clearer picture on my feelings in that present moment. When I become aware, I can ask myself "what are the thoughts behind this feeling? Are these thoughts helpful?" 

As soon as I realized that getting aware and curious about my thoughts helped the way I showed up, so many things shifted most importantly changing the unhelpful thought in that particular moment.

When I am not aware of my feelings of self doubt because they have become habitual, I take that feeling with me into situations and it colors how I show up, how I act and most importantly how I feel.

A simple shift of awareness can make a difference to my actions.

When you learn the effect of your habitual choices and thoughts, it can support you in making changes which will reflect in your mood, your mindset and ultimately your life.

Peace

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Feel it, that is all

  "I’m not limiting myself on what  love is supposed to look like.” Neicy Nash

Do you have a definition of love? 

A vision of what it ought to look like, feel like, smell like, take like?

There are so many definitions of what love is, on the flip side there are also so many who chose not to define or put love in a box.

This what I have learned - Love shows up in so many different ways. 

If we define it in one way and it shows up differently what do we do? Deny it? Embrace it? Run from it?

If we cannot define it, will be open to when it shows up? 

To me, love is a feeling, a feeling that cannot be defined by words alone. You just know

This goes beyond romantic love this is the agape love.

Feelings about the moments, the people, the places. It is undeniable.

I also learned that when we put logic on the feeling, a description, it may not translate well.

Some feelings are just to be felt, enjoyed and accepted rather than explained with logic.

Feel it, that is all

Peace

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How do you receive love?

 I am allowing people to love me. I am allowing people to shower me with uplifting energy. I am cultivating intimate friendships. I am at peace Mani

How do you receive love?

Yes, I asked it. How do you receive love?

Love shows up in so many ways , there are also many things parading out there as love.

Love  can be someone offering to cook you a meal, to take you to buy groceries when your car is not starting, dropping off Sunday market for you, sharing their last block of chocolate, sending you a poem or a reading that you like. Giving you a compliment.

How do you respond when love shows up in its many forms? A Course in Miracles says,  Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all of the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.

Love is always around us, do we embrace it or do we find a way to push it away because it somehow doesn't look the way we want it to look or we are uncomfortable with how it showed up?

What we focus on grows, so if we focus on what's missing then that is what we will see.

Take a compliment, say thank you. Smile, Revel in the love, the attention without feeling guilty, or feeling that there is something you must do in return.

This takes a level of vulnerability and knowing that you deserve that and more.

Trust me, you deserve it.

Peace

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Journey to Stillness

 being close to me means honoring that I often need to disappear into myself, into spirit, into silence and not taking that personally. Source Nectar

This quote sums up how I feel so well.  My challenge has always been communicating this to people who are close to me with such grace and having zero guilt attached to it. I must say that I am getting better at it.

Confessions on the Journey! I would not know how or if to say what I needed, to say that I require some quiet and silent time. So what did I do? I would either pick a fight or indulge in passive aggressive behavior, or just disappear.

All not very helpful actions while being around people, especially ones that care about you. My own actions got in the way of letting people in.

Vulnerability and Openness takes  courage and self worth.

It takes a great level of courage to speak your truth especially when it is not everyone's cup of tea and not considered "normal"

There must be a soundness in knowing who you are to be able to stand firm in making your needs, and boundaries known.

These are the lessons that I have been able to take in getting to a space of sharing my need of space and solitude.

The lesson of building courage and building Self and setting boundaries.

Useful Lessons if I do say so myself!

Peace

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What season are you in?

 "There’s many seasons to your life." – Erica Williams Simon

Honoring the season that you are presently in makes life so much easier to handle.

When I want what I want when I want and don't get it, sometimes I am dishonouring the season.

There is a time for everything under the sun it is said, a time for sowing and a time for reaping. The challenge begins when we want to sow in reaping season, or ignore that a particular reason has ended or started. We hold on or we resist.

Some seasons are for work, some are for play, some are for rest, some are for pushing, some are for being still. Life will show you, life will guide you.

The moment we relax and recognise the season, the flow never stops.

What season are you in?

Peace