Akosua Dardaine Edwards's Blog, page 64

Overdue

 Long time it ah overdue - Erphann Alves

Rest.

Self Care.

Relaxation.

Stillness.

Down time.

Pampering of self.

Meditation.

Chillaxin.

Rejuvenation.

Make it happen, resist the temptation to delay it any longer

It is an essential part of the journey

Peace

Join me in Unveiling- September 20th 2020 

www.akosuadardaineedwards.com/unveiling

The Present Moment

 Why do anxiety, stress, or negativity arise? Because you turned away from the present moment. And why did you do that? You thought something else was more important. You forgot your main purpose. One small error, one misperception, creates a world of suffering. Eckart Tolle

What is more important than the present moment?

What is more urgent that right now?

Confessions on the Journey: The past few weeks moving back out in the world after being at home for the past few months brought on my feelings of anxiety and overwhelm.

Having multiple tasks and demands after being silent for a while threw me for a loop. I confess that I just was not ready for it. I craved the quiet time, even after admitting that when the quiet time started, I was not sure how I would respond to being in one space physically and mentally.

This morning, a dear friend of mine was chatting to me about her own anxiety and the effects it has been having on her and her relationships. As we were having the conversation, it dawned on me that I had a choice on how I respond to the requests of being asked to do more and more tasks.

It was my choice to say yes to the opportunities that have been presented to me.

It was my choice to say yes to extra tasks and duties.

It was my choice to respond.

And because it was all my choice, I can make another choice.

Choice is my power.

I can take back my power, with new and different choices.

So, I have written down the tasks, I have prioritized them and most importantly I have taken a breath realizing that the present moment is all I have, anything outside of that takes me into a place which does not exist, adds unnecessary uncertainty and changes my focus. I have now become mindful of what I say yes to.

As they say, let tomorrow take care of itself, just be ready and willing when it comes.

Peace

Join us for the Unveiling - Looking into the Mirror of Self

A Four Week Online Journey curated by Akosua Dardaine Edwards

Get Information here

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Niceness Every Time?

 Too often, there is this belief that when healing comes we will be rewarded. We will get the spouse that we have been searching for, the job we desperately want, it will fix our relationships + friendships or we will receive some kind of blessing. The reality is, the only guaranteed reward you will see as a result of your healing and growth is the assurance that you are worthy and always will be.

There is sometimes a bit of anxiousness in how I approach situations, particularly when I fall back into old habits and beliefs that being nice is something to strive for and maintain. Being nice, I felt, would have absolved me from any hurt or drama.

Being nice, I have learnt, became a trap for me sometimes accepting less than, proving that I would not rock the boat, and a whole other host of actions, behaviors and rationale for why I accepted less and ignored my feelings.

I was under the impression that, Nice people don't get angry in public, nice people are not fussy, nice people show up even on short notice, nice people are always smiling, they volunteer themselves for any cause. These are some of the descriptions I have heard about being nice. And maybe they are all true. My challenge with all of it is the intention behind it all.

What is my intention?

Are you being nice to be liked? Are you being nice out of fear?

If your intention is rooted in external validation, there will be some level of resentment, especially if your needs are being ignored or dismissed.

I believed that being nice would make it so that I was exempt from "bad"."Bad stuff would not happen to me or in my life. 

I would always be taken care of and any drama would pass me by. After all, I was nice!

Newsflash! that is a myth. The Universal Law of cause and effect, consequences for our actions and lessons will be repeated until learned are all at play in our lives.

Experiences come to teach us and mirror to us where we require growth. If we ignore them, life will continue to repeat them. Being nice has zero to do with it

Now, don't get me wrong, I am not advocating for going out there and acting a jerk!

It is all about the intentions behind our actions.

I have learnt to be kind, loving and compassionate. In this way, I can express my emotions, I can say no - because sometimes no is the most loving response. I can see the other person with eyes of compassion and love for a fellow human rather than maintaining being nice for the sake of not pissing anyone off or living in fear!

Be Kind

Be Love

Be You

Best

Look out for the upcoming Unveiling- Looking into the Mirror of Self : An online Journey which delve into Building the Pillars of Self

September 2020

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Unveiling - Looking into the Mirror of Self

Judge Not

 Maybe everyone is doing their best, to their ability, at their current level of awareness?Were you not ignorant at some point in your life?Takes time to realise presence/egolessness. No need to judge, argue, get angry or hate... only shine the light. Joyful Awareness

When I was living out in Uganda, working with a group of phenomenal women who had a clear vision of rebuilding their community and becoming independent and self sufficientOne particular week I was left to “keep an eye on the place” while the management team made a work related trip up North. Seemed easy enough, everyone knew their roles and responsibilities.
Day one, smooth as ice cream, we were all happy, things were running well!Day two, smooth as ice cream, as well!Day 3, “Madam Akosua, they have refused to work” What? What do you mean refuse to work? They have refused. I step outside and all the employees were sitting down with their arms folded! Oh oh it looks like a strike!
“What’s going on?”" They have refused to work" "Why?" "They will not tell you Madam." "So how can I assist if I don’t know what the issues are?" "Madam they have just refused"We had to get this order filled that day, the trucks had to leave the compound. Ok, self, what’s the lesson here? I ask again, "why are you not working? Same answer, we refuse and we cannot tell you. I am now getting upset.
I call Cal inside, we sit down. "Cal talk to me""They want more money, there’s more Madam but in simple terms. More money?""Well that’s not a decision I can make now, all I can do is relay the message and speak on their behalf!"
We go back outside I start speaking to them, I am receiving blank stares. "Madam all of them do not speak or understand English"
Hmm ok! Who’s ‘going to interpret for me? I speak to them,"Madam we refuse! We just refuse"
Hmmmmmm!I go outside the compund and get some strong looking men with more muscles I ever see to load the truck, they come in and start loading the seeds on the truck. I ask them if they work out, like go to the gym workout, they look at me like I’m from mars!
The workers now say they want a meeting with me right away! B, the lady who takes care of us on the compound comes over to me. I am ranting at her about the situation, everyone always want money money, money, I got one lesson swiftly.You neither have the authority nor the knowledge to judge. You don’t have the right to pass judgement on anyone and this includes on yourself! There is nothing helpful about pointing fingers on you or other people, Too often we stand in judgement of ourselves and our fellow brothers. You/we think you know what’s going on, you think you know what happened and you stand ready to pass verdict.You don’t have the knowledge base or the wisdom to do this. You are treating people as though they are expendable because of their actions and deeds! Each and every one of us live at our current state of awareness! Do you know what that means?
We live at our current state of awareness! As each of us does more inner work, our awareness grows, recognize who is aware and then make your decisions, minus the judgement!What does this have to do with them working? Maybe nothing but think about this for more than five minutes today Madam!Peace!!!

Do You Love What You Feel?

 Do you love what you feel? Chaka Khan

What do you do for self-care? 

For Joy?

For Relaxation

For Fun?

Do you love what you feel?

What do you do to laugh?

to Unwind?

to Just Shoot the Breeze?

Do you love what you feel?

Life is about balance

Do something nice for yourself today and Love how it feels!

Peace

Have you read any of Akosua's work?

What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

Nyabo (Madam) - Why Are You Here?Daily Lessons on the Journey - A JournalFollow Akosua onTwitterInstagramFacebook

Inner Peace requires Inner Work

 I used to think my good deeds would heal me, if I got the better job, was kinder, more generous and succeeded that all my pain would fade away. I learned healing doesn't work that way Minna B

How many of us are obsessed with being nice, with being successful, with being hard working whilst living from a space of inner chaos or a space of achieving because we believe that it would bring a level of inner peace or fulfillment? Let me tell you, there is nothing that is only external that would bring you a level of inner peace. 

Inner peace takes the decision and commitment to become self aware and to focus on inner self rather than our achievements, accomplishments, our "nice personality" and our external trappings. It is not always pretty to face some of our own BS or our own poor choices but by now you know, there is always a lesson and all the dots usually add up.

The starting point of inner peace is the decision to become peaceful. Everything starts with a firm decision. 

Acceptance of where we are comes next, we have to accept the present state, accept our responsibility, our highs and our lows then the work starts, the committment to self of setting boundaries and following through, taking the time to face and feel all our feelings

It can me mucky work, but it is so worth it.

Inner peace cannot be substituted for nothing or NO-THING that is external, no food, no lover, no job, no material possession, no amount of IG and FB followers, and the list can go on.

Do the work!

Peace

I Have a Right to...

 Worry about yourself for the next few weeks, you deserve it. Ehimehora

I have a right....

I have a right to peace

I have a right to love

I have a right to feel all my feelings

I have a right to say No

I have a right to say Yes

I have a right to follow my dreams

I have a right to change my mind

I have to right to the boundaries that I set

I have a right to rest

I have a right to speak up

I have a right to choose

I have a right to change

I have a right to be joyful

I have a right to not like other people

I have a right to abundance

I have a right to state my case

Share with me what you have a right to

I look forward to it

Peace

Join me at the Worldwide Women in Innovation Incubation and Innvation Summit on 28th August 2020

W-WIITS Summit

Boundaries can be a consistent light

 “Your boundary need not be an angry electric fence that shocks those who touch it.. It can be a consistent light around you that announces: “I will be treated sacredly.” -Jaiya John

This weekend I listened to a talk about having and setting boundaries. It resonated with me because I have noticed lately that I have been putting myself last due to fear of losing people and losing period. I believe that setting boundaries is difficult for me, in chatting with others I have now discovered that many other people have challenges as well in setting boundaries for one or more of the following reasons:

1. Fear of pushing others away - how would others react or respond to us setting boundaries.

2. Fear of others not liking us - people pleasers are afraid to say no, they are afraid to make others mad, sad or disappointed.

3. Not knowing how to say NO - tied in to people pleasing and fear of losing.

If there are people in our lives who are mad if you set boundaries, these are not your people.

If there are people who you fear will leave you because you choose to do something for yourself, your sanity, your well being - these are not your people.

If you live in fear of those around you choosing you first, you may need to look into the mirror and ask yourself why and what would make you choose yourself and your peace of mind last.

Ask yourself, what do I believe about myself that I choose to live this way.

Setting and keeping boundaries takes work, it takes practice, it takes commitment and most importantly it takes self love.

Peace

Building the Foundation of Self Value

 

1.    

If you knew, believed and was absolutely certain that when you showed up – anywhere- for anything, any activity, any event that you ARE everything and you HAVE everything, what would your actions look like? How would you show up?

The Self is who you are at the core of your being. The Self is who you are minus all of the external trappings.

 

The Self represents your Divinity, which you were born with, it’s inside of you and will always be there. You were born Divine, this is unshakeable

 

Some of us place our value on our ego and our personality, some of us place our value on what we have and what we don’t have. Some of us place our value on who others say we are.

 

The challenge in placing our value on the ego and the personality on what we have and what we don’t have is, when life’s challenges come, and trust me they will come, we start questioning our worth, we start bargaining with others for our worth, competing and questioning, seeking ways to remain valuable and worthy

 

Our value is simply in knowing that once we are here and alive that we are worthy and deserving

 

We are simply Divine and there is absolutely no need to bargain with anyone or anything for our worth.

 

There is nothing, NO-THING we require to be valuable, worthy, complete and enough.

 

Our actions will only diminish our value when we BELIEVE that, when we FORGET that we are always worthy and valuable.

 

Mistakes, missteps, poor choices are all part of the lessons of life it really is life’s way of guiding us. It DOES NOT affect our self -value

 

The lessons mis steps, mistakes are for us to grow and develop, rather than to question our worthiness.

 

When we don’t know or forget that we are valuable, and situations in our lives change or shift or become challenging we start bargaining, we start comparing and competing. We start taking actions that reflect our lack of belief in our value such as relinquishing boundaries, tolerating nonsense, making consistent poor choices and neglecting self-care.

 

A foundation is SOLID on it rests building blocks and structures. If our lives rests or is built on shaky foundation our actions and lives will reflect that. Any strong challenge or shift comes the foundation may be destroyed. We may need to rebuild

 

Think of rebuilding. Some things may need to go, we may need to get rid of habits, jobs, situations, beliefs that no longer serve us, people who do not respect our boundaries. It takes courage and willingness

 

So what are the pillars of the foundation of Self and Self Value?

 

Self-Love – loving and accepting who we are, all of you, letting go of any external attachment that you have placed on loving yourself. Self-love includes self-care which is more than manicures, pedicures and spa days, the internal must be focused on as well, stillness, setting boundaries, honouring commitments to self, standing up for yourself, knowing who you are

 

Self-Esteem – your own evaluation of your worth. How do you see yourself? Without others telling you. Life has a way of showing us how we feel about ourselves by sending people and situations as a mirror.

 

Self-Respect – how do you treat yourself? Internally and externally. How do you speak to yourself? How do you honour yourself? Yet again, life will show you.

 

All of these pillars lead to you building upon your divinity. it takes work, it takes commitment, it takes discipline to build a solid foundation. 

Peace

Look out for Unveiling Looking in the Mirror of Self - Building and Developing the Foundations of Self - A Four Week Online Experience with Akosua Dardaine Edwards in September 2020

Spaces are limited

 

No Labels

 Don’t put yourself in a box that the Divine didn’t put you in. Black Soul Theory

I was having a conversation with a very dear friend of mine today, I told her that I felt like a fraud because I made what I thought was a very important decision based on fear.

My friend asked me why I made that statement and felt that way.

My response was " I usually suggest to others those close to me and those who have encountered me during speaking and writing to make decisions from a place of love, rather than fear" Here I am doing the opposite of what I not only learn but teach.

My friend reminded me to go easy on myself and that we teach what we need to learn.

There are times when we are harder on ourselves than we would be on others, I think it is because when we lose faith and trust in ourselves we know that it will trickle out into our daily living. It would become increasingly difficult to trust. Both self and others.

That conversation was a great reminder:

1. to go easy on ourselves

2. there is always the opportunity to make another choice

3. we learn as we go

4. to pay attention to our intention - the intention always shows up in our actions and outcomes

5. love yourself through it all

6. not to label yourself or put yourself in a box

Peace

Join me at the Empowered Summit on 22nd August 2020 with 50 other coaches, guides and mentors including the world renowned Deepak Chopra

https://empowered.heysummit.com/speakers/akosua-dardaine-edwards/