Akosua Dardaine Edwards's Blog, page 61

Change Always Happens

 Change comes in all shapes, sizes, and intensities. It happens to all of us. Sometimes it sneaks up on us, sometimes it hits us over the head, sometimes we are lucky enough to choose when and how it happens. But it always happens.  The Change Cycle

I found out yesterday that Loss is a huge part of the process of change. I was intrigued by that as I never conceptualized that it was so simple. The first part of the process of change is the loss we either will have to face or the fear of perceived loss. 

The loss of safety.

The loss of control.

Even when the change is perceived as good, there is is feeling that we are venturing into the unknown.

Having learnt about the process of loss, I am a lot more inclined to approach change knowing that I must accept loss as part of the process especially as fear can lead to doubt, when we are in doubt we slow down or even stop from making decisions. When we do that we become even more resistant to the change. We fight for control - when we really do not have any need to fight nor do we really have control.

Get clear - are you doubting and resisting because of fear or are you willing to surrender?

Change is happening around us especially in this new time of pandemic and revelations. A huge part of surviving is how we are able to move through the process of change. And yes, it is a process so we have to be mindful that it will take time and patience.

Cheers to Change.

Peace

What does your Perspective Reflect?

Is your perspective your power or your prison? Trent Shelton

I decided to flip a script. I have decided to look at each day as an adventure. Whatever comes up, I will treat it as if I am going into unknown realms to discover what is on the other side or what is in there that I can use or take on future adventures.

I decided to do this because it's more exciting than complaining or reacting in fear. The fear that comes up on the adventure will have to fuel the forward movement.

I am starting this adventurous journey today, who is willing to join me!

Suit up! 

Let's Go

Onward to an adventurous day!

Peace

The Unveiling

 Self-love is not simply a state of feeling good. It is a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological and spiritual growth.Deborah Khoshaba Psy.D.

Unveiling - Looking into the Mirror of Self ended on Sunday 18th October 2020, what an amazing Journey!

The participants showed up with courage, willingness, authenticity and love. It was a beautiful experience for me, learning about acceptance and self value from the participants and learning about how I value myself. I must admit, I was nervous taking this programme online. Given these unprecedented times, pivoting is essential. We have been given an opportunity to use what we have and dig deep to come up with what is inside of us, what we have learnt from our elders and ancestors which we did not believe that we would ever have to use. 

The experience taught me to follow my intuition, to prepare, to put in the work and have a willingness to do new things not knowing what the outcome will be but trusting that the result will reflect the intention.

I am ever so grateful to all the participants, to everyone that supported this vision and to those who were willing to do this new thing with me.

I look forward to see what unfolds.

Cheers to the Journey 

Stand in Your Power

 when someone works on a project—whether it’s a book or a business or otherwise—at a certain point, that thing leaves their hands and enters the realm of the world. It is judged, received, and acted on by other people. It stops being something he controls and it depends on them. Ryan Holiday

When did you start giving away your power?

Who taught you that?

Where did you start giving away your power?

Why did you do that?

Where are your power leaks?

Do you even know?

Who did you give your power to and why?

Whatever made you think that what you don't have, don't know, don't do renders you powerless?

Do you know who you are?

Who told you that other people are responsible for your power?

Why did you believe that?

Take your power back

Just do it.

Stand. Walk. In Your Power

Your discipline, Your Courage, Your Commitment. Your Self-Belief . Your Choices. Your Consequences

It's that simple

Don't Overcomplicate it

Peace

The Body Can Heal Itself

 Don’t suppress your emotions. but also don’t hold onto them. Touch them and then let them go. Maryam Hasnaa

Yesterday I started reading a book by Emily Francis called "Your Body Heals Itself"

Let me tell you, the number of times whilst reading it that I was overcome by epiphanies and revelations! Our bodies are so marvelous, so intricate, such a well designed machine. I have been taking it for granted.

One thing that stood out for me was the revelation that our muscles stores memories and feelings. When we do not adequately deal with it, they remain in our body and show up like pains and knots! then those pain and knots can turn into diseases.Who knew??

So, maybe some of those pains and niggles in my body represent some emotions and feelings that I allowed to fester? Emily says "the issues are in the tissues" How fitting!

The other part of the book that I totally resonated with was where she pointed out that emotions are released when muscles are massaged and stretched. Have you ever done a massage and stretch and you felt soooo peaceful when it was over?

"Remember that the body heals itself. However it does not heal without your full participation. It's a formula and only you will know what yours will be. You will have to listen to your muscles, your mind, your gut, and your heart. Think of it as a jury. If one of those things votes the other way, there is chaos. You have to do the work to establish the peace within your own being." 

We have to do the work, we have to feel our feelings, balance what we eat, move, exercise and most importantly we have to feed our mind a daily dose of love and acceptance.

It sounds so simple, yet me make it complicated. 

The search for external remedies and solution is only a very small part of our healing journey.

Peace

Lessons from Saying No to a Scarcity Mentality

 Note to self (and maybe to others) - stop saying yes to work you really want to say no to. A scarcity mentality can back you into corners you never wanted to be in to begin with - Afrobella

There are two affirmations that I use when I feel like I am losing control particularly with finances and jobs - 

God is my only source and supply.

The Universe will provide for me, and I will play my part in my own success.

During the pandemic, I have had to recite these affirmations more than once! trust me!

Confessions on the Journey -  at this present moment, I am doing a job that I truly believe stems from a scarcity mentality. Why? I agreed to it knowing that it will pay bills. I beat myself up on making the choice so much that I just had to stop and say - forgive yourself honey!

What did I learn during the process?

1. Value Yourself - speak up for what you know you are worth.

2. Forgive yourself for making the choice, it feels so much better than beating up on yourself. 

3. Nothing is permanent so this too shall pass.

4. Ask for Courage and Clarity.

5. In all things, give thanks - it rewires your brain.

Peace

Have you read any of Akosua's work?

What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

Nyabo (Madam) - Why Are You Here?Daily Lessons on the Journey - A JournalFollow Akosua onTwitterInstagramFacebook

Tap into your own path

 While each part of the back tends to store different emotions, in examining lower back pain, Francis describes a twofold capacity. The sacrum, the triangular bone at the base of the spine is “considered the sacred bone. It can hold a great amount of fear. The sacrum at its worst deals with financial security fears and moving forward in your life. It also deals with loss of people, which gives way to fears of moving forward without that particular person or situation. At best, in the sacrum and low back area, you can connect into your soul space and tap into your own path toward your greatest path moving forward.” Kalia Kelmenson

Confessions on the Journey - I have been having  back pains. It's been a recurring theme for months. The pain started getting worse and so, I decided to go to the doctor.

The doctor said, it may be a back strain or stress! The doctor recommended to stop stressing and stretch more after exercising. It sounded so simple when he said it. I actually got annoyed (more confessions) when he doled out the "cure". It seemed so simple and trivial. 

Most solutions really are simple, it's us who complicate the hell out of things. Anyhoos, I digress. 

Stop stressing and start stretching. Simple like that.

I went to the pharmacy and bought some bio freeze and decided that I would run less days a week and stop boxing all together. I would rest. 

I did not want to rest. But hey, the body sends us signs. Up to us to pay attention. 

When I calmed down after the doctor's visit, I realized that I was stressing - internalizing the stresses, rather than letting them go or dealing with them.

The combination of living through the changes that the pandemic  has brought, my response to the earning less income during the pandemic, my own resistance to how I now earn money and keeping it all inside has indeed contributed to where I am now. 

And so, I have started healing by journaling these thoughts, stretching and resting. I am fully invested in the healing journey and learning the lessons from it.

The path to healing has begun! 

Peace

Have you read any of Akosua's work?

What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

Nyabo (Madam) - Why Are You Here?Daily Lessons on the Journey - A JournalFollow Akosua onTwitterInstagramFacebook

Get Some Rest

 I’m thinking a lot about how we have the narrative that we need to work hard to prove our worth. Why can’t we be worthy just cause? Ehimora

Waking up late on a Saturday morning at my grandma's house was a definite cause for concern, a total no no

She would turn into a whole other creature, I could not figure out why! The lady that I would snuggle up to in the night to watch our favorite show called Prisoner, then we would talk about what happened in the show late into the night. There would be times after the show where I would be talking to her and then I would just hear her snoring away. When the circle opened with my cousins joining us, we would all pile onto the bed and make jokes and ask her questions about her youth. But, early on a Saturday morning, she would bust into the room and make a ruckus.

"Wake up! Don't let the sun come up before you in this house. Get up now!"

At first, when I was younger, I would ignore her, as I got older she would literally pull the covers off and tap me on my back until I got up.

"Not in this house will you wake up after the sun", when I asked her about it she would not answer it with a response that I could understand.

As I got older she started explaining that sleeping late is being lazy, as well as, not working all the time is also lazy. Laziness is not something the world rewards.

"Mummy, can you honestly say that you or I are lazy? give it some thought. I have no idea where you got this from but I want to suggest to you that it may not be true"

She is still up to this day not convinced.

Resting on a weekend is, as far as she is concerned, a sign of laziness.

The narrative behind working all the time ended with me, my mother bought into the waking up early and working all the time proves that one is not lazy.

I did not, I know that I am not lazy. I know that I don't have to prove that I am not lazy to anyone, and I know that rest is part of my journey.

There are quite a few of my friends who have bought into the narrative that they must be seen as hard working, they must work, work, work! or lest be seen as lazy or unproductive, they will not rest.

Rest is essential!

Rest is productive!

Rest is rejuvenating

Rest is required

Get some rest!

Have you read any of Akosua's work?

What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

Nyabo (Madam) - Why Are You Here?Daily Lessons on the Journey - A JournalFollow Akosua onTwitterInstagramFacebook

Unshakeable Confidence is a Mythical Destination

 Unshakeable Confidence is a Mythical Destination - Sas Petherick 

Reading Sas's work  truly resonated with me. Her philosophy comes from a space that anything from a new behaviour, a new way of thinking, experimenting with a new skill, learning something new will involve disappointment, failure, conflict, judgement, rejection and complexity, as well as, success. This is how self belief is cultivated.

Open minded consistent practice and discipline.

Every time I have to speak to an audience, I get nervous, I feel sweaty, the doubts creep in about if I can deliver something that makes sense. Reading Sas's work, I am comforted by the idea that growth is not linear. it involves risk and messiness, and sometimes falling down. The most important thing is showing up, getting up and keeping in mind that humanness has beauty as well as pain. Accepting the duality of it has helped in me navigating not just speaking engagements but approaches to situations in life.

Peace

Have you read any of Akosua's work?

What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

Nyabo (Madam) - Why Are You Here?Daily Lessons on the Journey - A JournalFollow Akosua onTwitterInstagramFacebook

Journey to Unconditional Self Love

“Every relationship is the re - lationship you need at that time. Everything you do in every relationship have prepared you and beings you closer to the grand experience of total, uncon - ditional self-love and love for others” from the book In the Meantime By Iyanla Vanzant.

 Today I am scheduled to be on a radio programme. The topic is Journey to Unconditional Self Love. I sat down to prepare, to get my thoughts together and the thought of talking about it scared me. Why? Because I realized that over the last few weeks that my own definition of what self love is has not been upheld by me! So how can I now go and chat about Self Love when I seem to not be practicing it?

I pondered on that for a while. Looking for the lesson, this is what I came up with:

Unconditional Self Love, loving myself without conditions - maybe that is the lesson! Love myself despite the fact that I am not living up to the expectations set, love myself through the unmet  expectations. Love myself through the choices.

And that love transcends the denial. It pushes me to make new choices, make better choices, to accept the consequences of my choices. It pushes me to self compassion and self forgiveness. It touches me in being gentle in my self talk.

The Unconditional Self Love I expect is holistic, how I eat, how I rest, how I set boundaries, how I say no, how I say yes. It keeps me humble and grateful. It keeps me disciplined and committed.

It keeps me remembering that I am human and that I will mess up, make mistakes and piss people off

None of these things makes me less loveable or sends me on a spiral to not love me!

And for that I am grateful for the lessons and feel much better going into this discussion

Peace

Have you read any of Akosua's work?

What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

Nyabo (Madam) - Why Are You Here?Daily Lessons on the Journey - A JournalFollow Akosua onTwitterInstagramFacebook