Akosua Dardaine Edwards's Blog, page 62

Myths We Tell Ourselves about Worthiness

 

Self-worth is defined by Merriam-Webster as: “a feeling that you are a good person who deserves to be treated with respect”.

Self-worth is at the core of our very selves—our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are intimately tied into how we view our worthiness and value as human beings.

Self-worth is firm and unshakeable.

Self-worth is direct measure of how you value and regard yourself in spite of what others may say or do.

Self- worth doesn’t quickly or easily change when external factors or circumstances change.

Self-worth means accepting yourself wholeheartedly at all times despite your flaws, weaknesses, and limitations.

Self-worth means never allowing yourself to be defined by outside forces, including people’s opinions.

Self -Worth means never allowing outcomes to shake your confidence, faith or resolve.

Myths that we tell ourselves:

1. Our worth comes from outside of us - our qualifications, our possessions

2. We get our worth from the work that we do and how productive we are

3. Our worth increases by how we look, what type of clothes that we wear, where we shop.

4. We get more worthy by having all the answers and having it all figured out.

5.  Our worth is determined by doing good, being a good person, going to church and being religious.

Look at the words that trigger you. Look at how you judge others. If the words ugly, cheap, lazy, unproductive, heathen trigger you or you judge others by those standards, chances are you may have to look at yourself and your self worth.

You are worthy.

You are worthy

You are worthy

Nothing and no one can change that 

You get to choose if you believe that or not

Peace

Have you read any of Akosua's work?

What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

Nyabo (Madam) - Why Are You Here?Daily Lessons on the Journey - A JournalFollow Akosua onTwitterInstagramFacebook

It feels like a lightening storm

 If you expect living your dreams to be like living on cloud nine, you'll never get started much less keep going because living your dreams doesn't feel like that...it feels like a lightening storm. And that's actually the beauty and the message here...it won't be perfect which means there is absolutely no perfect time to begin. Maxie McCoy

One of the dreams that I have had was rolling out Unveiling - Looking Into the Mirror of Self - Retreat. The initial idea I had was for the retreat to be a residential where we got together in a circle, eat lovely healthy meals, have fun and bond while we enhance our Self!

After the first edition of the Unveiling, which was totally awesome and life changing for me, there never seemed to be the right time or the right conditions to have another one. When the pandemic started I thought oh dear me- this may be the end of the Unveiling dream. The pandemic stopped gatherings and human contact in groups. People were skeptical about congregating with valid reason. I did not see an Unveiling happening.

What I learnt in that period 

1. The process of getting to the dream can look and be different than what we thought it would look like and be.

2. Patience is a part of the Journey

3.Inviting support is not a sign of weakness as the Universe  sends people and situations as part of the process.

4. Keep an open and willing mind

5. Let go of control and surrender to how you think it must be.

Unveiling - Looking into the Mirror of Self is now an online four week Retreat, we are three weeks in and I am ever so grateful for the participants and the lessons on the journey.

It is not perfect, and I embrace the imperfections hoping to learn from it to make it better for the next time.

Peace

Look out for the next Cohort of Unveiling in the upcoming quarter.

https://akosuadardaineedwards.doki.io/

Have you read any of Akosua's work?

What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

Nyabo (Madam) - Why Are You Here?Daily Lessons on the Journey - A JournalFollow Akosua onTwitterInstagramFacebook

There are no quick fixes in life

 there are no quick-fixes in life 

What is the most urgent thing in your life at this present moment? Right now.

Give it some thought.

In this right now present moment, as you read this, what is the most pressing and urgent matter that you must attend to?

What is the thing that if you don't stop reading right now, your life will fall apart, everything around you will be ruined?

What is the thing that you want to happen right away? What is that thing , if it doesn't happen now, like right now, life will just never be the same?

I thought about these questions, and I can now safely say that in the present moment,  there is nothing is that urgent or must happen now apart from me breathing in and out. If I inhale and not exhale, that means my life stops - literally.

So the most important thing right now is my breath.

 And so, the stress of wanting it to happen NOW, of things being so so urgent, now releases its hold on me.

I take action, I take brisk action, I plant the seeds and I wait, knowing that patience is part of the journey and really, there are no quick fixes in life.

Peace

Have you read any of Akosua's work?

What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

Nyabo (Madam) - Why Are You Here?Daily Lessons on the Journey - A JournalFollow Akosua onTwitterInstagramFacebook

Sustainable Abundance

   Seven Stones of Sustainable Abundance: respect, love, courage, truth, opportunity, wisdom and clarity. Seven Stones Leadership

A very dear friend introduced me to this concept of Sustainable Abundance and I have to say, it resonated deeply with me. The entire concept of building self, and by extension, organizations and communities around the corner stones of respect, love, courage, truth, opportunity, wisdom and clarity get's me excited.

So many of our narratives are based around the bottom line, profit margins, cutting costs and keeping it tight. All of these tenets based on a scarcity mindset. A everything will mindset that everything is limited, not enough and everything will run out.

According to Seven Stones,  courage overcomes fear; love and respect dissolve contempt and disregard; truth exposes dishonesty; opportunity opens closed minds; and clarity and wisdom reveal a better way forward.

If all of us take responsibility for developing our corner stones, imagine what the communities we live in would look like, imagine the possibilities with our organizations. Imagine how would we approach our own lives?

I  have committed to  solidify these corner stones as I navigate these no unprecedented times

Peace

 

Have you read any of Akosua's work?

What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

Nyabo (Madam) - Why Are You Here?Daily Lessons on the Journey - A JournalFollow Akosua onTwitterInstagramFacebook

Triggers

 Do you know what your  emotional triggers are?

 Emotional triggers are reactions to events which usually cause fight, flight or tension. They are unresolved  issues, matters and challenges which we carry around sometimes unconsciously. We sometimes bury them, deny them, ignore them for fear of hurt, retribution and rejection.

We all have triggers, it really is about how we deal with them when they come up, oh and come up they will!

When we are triggered, many times we feel that we are being attacked. With that belief the natural response is fight and flight. That signals to us that we are protecting ourselves and what we care about.

Many of us walk around carrying challenges and issues from way back when. With little resolution of these issues and challenges, when we are triggered the natural reaction is to protect ourselves. Many times the reactions are habitual or addictive.

I have been paying attention to what triggers me, I have self analyzed that my triggers are:

1. Abandonment - When I believe that someone will leave, I act out! or I would leave first.

2. Anger - anyone that shows anger and rage around me, I feel so uncomfortable, I refuse to also show my own anger and rage around others.

3. Rejection - my word! this is the biggie! I think this is my biggest trigger.

4. Being ignored or dismissed 

5. Being around needy people.

Now that I have recognized these triggers, I can move accordingly. I can take the necessary measures to respond, learning their origins, and how I usually respond to them, not the habitual or addictive responses that usually happen.

The major lesson is remembering that the pain does not go away if it is denied, ignored or substituted with something temporary.

I have learnt to be patient with myself, show some compassion and remember that it takes time to form new habits.

Peace

Akosua

 Have you read any of Akosua's work?

What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

Nyabo (Madam) - Why Are You Here?Daily Lessons on the Journey - A JournalFollow Akosua onTwitterInstagramFacebook

Something Feels Different

 Something Feels Different and I think its me - Maryaam Hasnaa

Taking responsibility for our actions - Taking responsibility for how you respond to actions around you. - This is one of my most impactful lessons.

The moment I start externalizing, focusing on others, what they did, what they said and leaving me out of the equation, I know I have given away my power.

No amount of denying or avoiding will make our responsibility go away.

We all have the ability to respond, this is part of what free will is. There will always be situations that we have absolutely no control over. What we would be in control of is how we accept, acknowledge and respond 

When we give that up, we give away our power

When we own our responsibility we can make choices from a place of knowledge and power.

Taking responsibility eliminates the need to control every aspect of our lives as we know we can respond from a place of power and awareness

Peace

Have you read any of Akosua's work?

What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

Nyabo (Madam) - Why Are You Here?Daily Lessons on the Journey - A JournalFollow Akosua onTwitterInstagramFacebook

Me and Self Value

Quite often out of fear of losing business or the desire to win more business, people will undercharge for their services. This is a classic situation where they end up doing much more than they’re paid to do. But, somehow, in a desire to prove themselves, these people still feel that they are not doing enough in relation to how much they are being paid. This can set a precedent which could be hard to remove. Morton Patterson

I had a penny dropping moment this week. It is now true for me that we teach what we need to learn.

Over the past few days, Unveiling -Looking into the Mirror of Self, the online course that I have the absolute pleasure and privilege to facilitate, focused on Self Value.

I have been having challenges with being paid on time and receiving monies for speaking and coaching engagements over the past few months. Confessions on the Journey -  I would either be scared to call a price because I thought I would lose the client or deal, or I would accept less or nothing in the name of exposure. The consequences of those choices were two fold, having little financial abundance and my resentment about the choices that I made.

This week upon reflecting I realized that it was me! I was the common denominator in this equation. I made the decisions, I made the choices to accept less than what I knew I was worth due to fear and people pleasing.  In that moment, I stopped and realized that I must value myself, and that starts with speaking up. I decided to speak up.

It was not easy saying what I had to say, I hesitated and even shed a tear, but when I was done, I felt an immense load lifted, and was proud of myself for starting on the Journey to Self-Value.

Self-Value is the value and worth placed on our own selves, how we see our own worth and it is not determined by anything other than God.

You know that you are worthy just by your presence and what matters to you is also worthy.
When we do not accept ourselves or our experience, if in other words, we continue to feel guilty, ashamed, afraid, judge ourselves in any way or exhibit any form of non-acceptance, we will continually attract other circumstances and people to make us re-live the same experience.

Peace

Which Comes First?

 When we let go of our need to arrange and control how things will work out and are instead open to all possibilities, it makes room for new ways of achieving our goals that we might not have considered otherwise. The Universal Laws

What will it take to choose you first?

What will it take to be the number one on your list?

What will you do when it comes down to choosing you?

What do you feel when you put you first?

What is the commitment that you keep or not keep with yourself?

Why do you break commitments to self?

One of the best lessons I have internalized is the list of what comes first in a world of value:

God First. You. Spouse and Family. Friends. Work

We live the other way around, we put work first and then wonder why things are nor running smoothly.

God first, then YOU!

Without YOU, there will be nothing else.

It really is just that simple.

Peace

Don't Let the Doubt Fool You

On its most practical level, liberation is about learning to respond rather than react. Maryam Hasnaa 

Doubt never leaves. There is a popular myth people believe, that the more successful you are, the less doubts you have. 

The irony is that the more success you find, the greater your doubts grow.

So self-doubt becomes a part of your daily monologues as you constantly leap into new and scary territory.

Doubt usually stems from fear of failure, or the probability of it, which then leads to feelings of isolation, criticism, or lowered self-worth in the face of friends

Self-doubt stems from the potential attack on your identity.

Our egos don't want to disrupt the pattern or perception others have of us. 

Self Doubt has resurfaced for me in a huge way as I navigate into new undertakings. The ways in which I have  navigated these feelings of doubt by focusing on affirmations: 

1. Don't let the doubt fool you

2. It takes determination to fool proof the distractions

3. Move through the doubt

4. There is nothing to fear.

5. I have everything and am everything.

I also keep a Journal  that take the thoughts out of my head and out it on paper. It frees my head up to focus. 

Keep at it!

Peace

Building Self through Practicing Honesty

 Part of building better, stronger relationships requires us to be more honest with ourselves and the people we care for. E.B Johnson

Living peacefully in this world requires us to have solid, compassionate and honest relationships - starting with self.

The first relationship we must have, work on, be comfortable with is with ourselves- this is where it all starts.

Fostering and caring for ourselves takes time, effort, commitment and discipline. Without these pillars, every other relationship that we have will continue to reflect the lessons and work still required with self.

Ask yourself:

1. Do you prioritize time with self? doing something you like, resting, getting to know what you like and don't like?

2. Do you show self compassion? How do you speak to yourself in challenging times, when in doubt and when you encounter uncertainty?

3. Do you question the beliefs and values that you were given? Are they serving you on your own journey? Or are they in your life because it was handed down to you? If they are not serving you, question why do you still follow and believe in them.

Being honest with ourselves can sometimes be tough, embracing our shadow side, embracing feelings that may be uncomfortable. It takes practice. I have learned that looking into the mirror and facing myself helps, It is so difficult to see me and make up a story.

The process is still uncomfortable at times but has gotten easier with time and practice.

I have also learned that being honest with myself makes it easier to be honest with others.

Peace