Akosua Dardaine Edwards's Blog, page 59

Be Careful What You Ask For

 The Holy Spirit will respond to your slightest invitation ACIM

What type of questions do you ask yourself?

There is a thought that asking why may be one of the most debilitating questions to ask because asking why can lead to further questions rather than leading you to a solution.

There is also a view that when we ask empowering questions, we get empowering responses and the flip side of that is when we ask debilitating questions, we get similar type of answers.

Empowering Questions

1. What can I learn from this?

2. What am I learning from this?

3. How can I make better choices?

4.What can I do better next time?

Debilitating Questions

1. Why me?

2. Why is this happening to me?

3. Why are they like that?

Be careful what you ask for now takes on a whole different meaning.

Peace 

Have you read any of Akosua's work?

What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

Nyabo (Madam) - Why Are You Here?Daily Lessons on the Journey - A JournalFollow Akosua onTwitterInstagramFacebook

Are You Coping or Thriving?

 When you find yourself experiencing the same problems over and over again, it may be because you’re so expert at coping with this type of situation that you don’t realize you are coping. The Urban Monk

Feedback can sometimes come and smack you in the face especially when we ignore the nudges and subtle messages that usually come before the smack. The nudges and subtle messages come wrapped in ease and sometimes silence. When we are overly busy and distracted we can miss it. We can ignore it, we can justify it with externals. When the smack comes, there is simply no denying, you either pay attention or face the consequences.

Life has a way of reflecting to us what we need to pay attention to. It reflects to us through what happens in our lives, how we respond to the things that happen in our lives. 

I have learnt that when we start defending our habits, when we start focusing on the externals, when we are simply hanging on to a position because of fear, there is no way to take responsibility for our actions, and our healing.

Look at your life, pay attention, look at your patterns, habits- with no judgement. Only curiosity and love.

See what happens

Peace

I am willing to see things differently

 Every good ancestor that we know of lived through their own times such as these (actually, much worse), and yet they kept moving forward. Layla Saad

I started growing a garden outside of the flat in which I now live. I live within a compound which include other flats and townhouses. The garden became a problem because  the committee decided that the it broke the rules as to what common areas must look like and was quite ugly. Common areas should be pretty and preferably lawn grass.

The garden  includes sweet potatoes, lemon grass, corn, pawpaw's, pumpkin and kale. Within a small area close to the car garage.

When I was told of the confusion that this garden caused, immediately I felt a combination of anger, fear and helplessness. How dare they call it ugly and want to destroy it?

To hear that the garden was breaking the rules, ugly and will or must be dug up, I felt livid and a tad but hurt.

I refused to do anything, including dig it up or cease and desist. Days passed. This morning as I was out on the porch doing some  journal writing I saw two men approached and was walking through the garden, naturally I asked them what were they doing.

One of the men mentioned that he is running an electrical cable and has to destroy a part of the garden to get this done. I immediately started asking him questions. He told me that he was following instructions from the Committee to go ahead and destroy the garden to install the electric cable.

After our conversation he left followed by a visit from a representative from the Committee who made it clear that on common property I have no rights, that the garden was ugly and that to please cease and desist.

I was about to get into a heated discussion then I thought to myself:

Are you attached to the way this garden is grown? 

Are you wanting peace or to be right?

Have you aired your views and made it clear?

After considering all of that I walked away.

I will continue to grow my garden, I will continue to speak up, I will continue to remember not to take things personally, people have their own reasons and rationales for their behavior. I will continue to respond in a way which shows the lessons that I have learnt over the years.

I will continue to be willing to look at things differently.

Living in a space where respect and clear communication is missing is an opportunity to ask myself - how do I want to live?

How do I want to spend my time?

How do I want to engage in community building and living?

It is definitely something to ponder on

Peace

There is a Responsibility in Being Human

 There's a responsibility in being human, and a greater responsibility when being a conscious compassionate one. Guru Singh

We have a responsibility to ourselves, to each other, to the community to, to the world to be decent human beings.

The responsibility grows when we have put in the work on ourselves, when we have been provided the tools, the gifts, the platforms, and we use it to make the world a better place. Even when we do not recognize the responsibility or deny them, it is there reminding us to show up. That responsibility to live well, to love well, to demonstrate well. The main responsibility is to yourself .

Someone says that they didn't ask to be a role model. I think that sometimes our gifts push us to a space where others look at how we live. It may not be fair, it may seem burdensome, however it is many times our own path. With power comes responsibility. 

How many of us fall in to the trap of judgement, feeling superior, a hands off approach and denial? This is a huge reason why the world remains in a state of disarray. We give up or neglect the responsibility we have to ourselves.

2020 has stripped away so many of our distractions, so many of the nonsense that we focus on, so many of the unimportant events. It has called us to focus and pay attention to our responsibilities to ourselves and to our communities.

What will you choose?

Peace

Have you read any of Akosua's work?

What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

Nyabo (Madam) - Why Are You Here?Daily Lessons on the Journey - A JournalFollow Akosua onTwitterInstagramFacebook

Describe 2020 in one Sentence

 This year was scripted to help us wake up. Pyramid Realm

Someone asked me to describe my 2020 in a sentence.

I thought about it for a minute - ok , for more than a minute.

This is my sentence, I would absolutely love it if you can share with me your own sentence.

2020 has been an incredibly transforming, challenging, revealing and undeniable year.

Peace

Have you read any of Akosua's work?

What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

Nyabo (Madam) - Why Are You Here?Daily Lessons on the Journey - A JournalFollow Akosua onTwitterInstagramFacebook

What Are Your Forms of Resistance?

 What You Resist Persists

What Are Your Forms of Resistance? 

Resistance, I define, as the action one takes to avoid doing the thing that you know that you must do due to fear. 

Fear can manifest in many forms

Fear of Failure

Fear of Success

Losing Something or Someone

Dealing with Difficult People and Situations.

Anxiety

Feeling Overwhelmed 

Resistance looks like

1. Procrastination

2. Self Sabotage

3. Starting Arguments

4. Denial 

5. Avoidance

7. Withdrawal

8. Being Late

9. Hiding through eating, not eating, shopping, numbing self

10. Making up stories

Resistance can take place when there is a change ahead, when there is a task that is new, when there is a lack of control

Change is a challenge, its new, it takes the willingness to be uncomfortable and make mistakes, to fall down, Failure, mistakes and falling down is not usually rewarded by society and so we avoid it

Resistance can be asking us what really matters to you, do you really trust yourself? When the resistance comes up, get curious about it, rather than run from it.

Ask yourself, what is the fear here?

What and why am I resisting?

Get still for the answers and dig into the depths of your courage to move. You can do it.

Peace

What Drives You to Make a Decision?

 One of the most damaging aspects of being betrayed is that you question your ability to make good choices. When you see what you were scared of, you neutralize the fear, and when you do that, you can regain some trust in yourself. Danielle La Porte

Is your motivation to act coming from a place of fear or love?

What drives you to make a decision? Joy? Pressure? External Validation or Pressure? Do you even know?

Having been "burned" a few times, I can tell you without a shadow of a doubt that some of my decisions come flavored with fear and doubt, especially if  I ignore my feelings rather than feel them. Especially if I have old tapes from the past running through my head replaying what has happened in the past. If I make up stories, the decision has the tendency to be delayed until its near perfect

What I have learnt is, being "burned", becomes easier to navigate when we can be honest with ourselves, when we can be honest about the role we played, when we can feel all our feelings.

I have learnt that when my motivation is fear, the decisions made are fear filled. And that fear usually stems from the belief that I would be "burned" again. 

I have also learnt that when my motivation comes from a space of love I know that I will be divinely guided and be okay no matter what.

The loving approach takes practice. It takes interrupting my usual patterns. Practice. Practice. Practice.

It also takes an enormous about of trusting in myself and the divine guidance.

Peace

 Have you read any of Akosua's work?

What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

Nyabo (Madam) - Why Are You Here? Daily Lessons on the Journey - A Journal Follow Akosua on Twitter Instagram Facebook

Releasing Trapped Emotions

 As you know, hanging onto intense emotional energy over time doesn't do a body good. Dr. Claretha Yeager

4 WAYS TO RELEASE TRAPPED EMOTIONS

IN THE BODY


JOURNALING WITHOUT A FILTER
Before your day begins or it ends, let it ALL go. And be honest with yourself.

 BREATHWORK
Breath of Fire, 4-7-8 breathing, or Wimhof...there are many ways to breath with intention. Breath is one of the most powerful ways to move stuck energy and emotions through the body.

MOVEMENT
Whether it be yoga, dancing, hiking, or running, moving the body is helpful to clear the mind.

SPEAKING OUT TRUTHFULLY
Allow more of your true self to be heard. Be courageous in sharing yourself honestly. 

Peace

Have you read any of Akosua's work?

What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

Nyabo (Madam) - Why Are You Here? Daily Lessons on the Journey - A Journal Follow Akosua on Twitter Instagram Facebook

15 Alternative Lessons on Leveling Up

 Levelling up is living your truth, and taking responsibility for curating the life that you want and know that you deserve

Levelling up is allowing your light to shine, no matter what. 

Levelling up is having faith in yourself in uncertain moments.

Levelling up is showing up as you.

I have had some lessons in the level up, here are my top fifteen

1. Make a  firm and conscious decision - indecisiveness stops levelling up. To not decide is to live by default. Making a conscious decisions literally transports you to the next level.

2. Own Your Stuff - take responsibility for your actions, the moment that you start blaming, rationalizing, justifying why you do or not do, then you have given up your power. Giving your power impedes levelling up.

3. Surround Yourself with Your Tribe - who are the people around you? Who are you sharing your vison with? Levelling up requires a safe space, a tribe that will love you and yet still hold you accountable, a group that respects you, your differences and there is mutual respect for each other's boundaries.

4. Balance - Burnout is real. Rest is part of the Journey to the next level. 

5.  Listening to your Intuition/Your Divine Guidance - that voice that speaks to you guiding you, encouraging you, probing you. Listen to it, very rarely if ever, would it lead you astray, even if the guidance seems to make no sense at all.

6. Make yourself a priority - Make time for yourself. Get to know yourself, what you like, what triggers you, what brings you joy. Levelling up requires self knowledge.

7. Add Healthy Activities to your Daily Routine - following on from making yourself a priority, eat healthy foods that nourish your body, go outside, get some fresh air, exercise. Move your body. Read, travel outside of your community, take some risks. Levelling up requires it. 

8. Ask for Support - giving and receiving go hand in hand. If you find yourself unable to receive, then reconsider how and why you give. Levelling up requires you to ask for what you need.

9. Get Clear: Clarity allows for making better decisions, clarity clears the fog. Sometimes we need to ask for clarity, and that may be difficult, especially if you are a people pleaser.

10. Acceptance - Full and total acceptance of what is, before deciding a way forward

11. Stop Making up Stories - the negative, fearful, woe is me ones. the one's where you are the villain, the ones before you ask and receive clarity, the ones which keep you stuck.

12. Trust Yourself - Trust the process, you can and will handle it.

13 Speak your Truth - There will be no levelling up without being true to yourself. Authenticity is essential. If you find yourself going against what you believe, what you values are then my friend, levelling up has stalled.

14. Watch your Self Talk - what are you saying to yourself? How are you saying it? Do you speak to yourself like you love, care and have compassion? Or is it a inordinate about of berating, scolding and what if's? Check yourself!

15. Give thanks - Always and through it all. Find something that you are grateful for.

Have you read any of Akosua's work?

What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

Nyabo (Madam) - Why Are You Here?Daily Lessons on the Journey - A JournalFollow Akosua onTwitterInstagramFacebook

Burnout Exists

 Burnout exists because we've made rest a reward rather than a right - The Last MindBender 

Rest is a part of the Journey. Somewhere along the path, many of us were taught that resting was a weakness, that taking time off showed laziness. So we worked and worked and worked or we felt guilty for stopping to take a break.

There are people that I personally know who boasts of not taking or being on a holiday in many years, they boast and speak about it like a badge of honour.  There are those who believe that they cannot afford to stop working, their value is tied up in it. If they are seen as not working, they will be deemed unworthy or unproductive.

Imagine, we now live from a space where working and earing money to pay bills is not only the most important activity in our lives and we are rewarded and celebrated for it. It's all about the grind, the hustle, the bag, cash monay!

We celebrate the person who will work long hard hours at the expense of their health, they are rewarded for being sick and at work, of working through pain and be celebrated for all their hard work despite the knocks. Now, don't get me wrong, I am not advocating for us to piss off and do nothing. I am advocating for balance. There is a time for work and a time for play, a time for rest and a time for reward. The challenge comes in when we are out of balance. When our actions are out of balance and when our lives are out of balance.

Our bodies, our lives, send us signs all of the time, when we are out of alignment and continue on, our bodies shut down through niggling pains, colds and flu's and fatigue. When we pay the signs no mind, the nudges become harder and louder, hence it makes sense to pay attention to what our body and our lives are telling us. Life loves us that much. 

I have been unlearning the lessons of overworking myself to the point of burnout, of releasing the guilt associated with resting and making a conscious effort to incorporate rest and rejuvenation as a part of my life.

Peace

Have you read any of Akosua's work?

What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

Nyabo (Madam) - Why Are You Here?Daily Lessons on the Journey - A JournalFollow Akosua onTwitterInstagramFacebook