Akosua Dardaine Edwards's Blog, page 169

Day 4 Why Are You Here in NYC?- The Book Tour

There is little more soul destroying, artery furring and excruciatingly abrasive to the sense of self as a bad job. To hate what you do for a living means a bit of you hates yourself for being there, not having one clue what you want to do next and knowing there's no one to blame (the government, Brexit, Simon Cowell or Global Warming) except yourself. Carole Forde
The Harlem Book Fair - an explosion of culture. The roll call for Saturday's event was 8.00am I am staying in Brooklyn- quite a journey away. Got up early and excited to head to the roll call on time. My aunt who flew in from Texas to assist me - bless her got a belly pain just as we were about to leave the house. I had to ask her if she was more nervous than I was! So we were delayed while as we say home "she handled her stories"The rush was now on, I plugged in the directions in the Google Maps and we were on our wayAs we approached the area it seems we were lost - what? it's on Google maps!!!Good old fashioned ask someone came into play, and yes we were far away from the spot, it's now 9.30am I am sweatingAt 9.45 I finally reach the destination blowing, sweating, and praying"Hi Welcome"Is that it?"we are happy you made it"
I think it will be the last time I fuss about what is for me!The Fair was a great experience, I met a few authors, I am having one of my readings with the lovely Miss Sapodilla on Wednesday who was at the book fair.I met a lady from Uganda and we shared a lot of memories and stories- she bought the book as wellAnd so , the end of Day 4 I was a happy author!Tonight I will be reading at Bluestockings 172 Allen Street New York 10032Come on downPeace

Day 2 Why Are You Here in NYC?- The Book Tour

Love rests in certainty ACIM


Only uncertainty can be defensive. And all uncertainty is doubt about yourself.So after a much longer journey than I anticipated I made it to JFK. I got into the taxi, the driver was rather friendly, he asked me where I was from and guess what else? yup “Why Are You Here?” I told him I was from Trinidad and Tobago and was on a book tour, he laughed and said so not only rock stars go on tours! He mentioned that he was from Azerbaijan and if I ever heard about his country it’s two hours away from Russia, I told him that I was in Russia in 2014 so he got even more excited. He asked me if I was confident about my work and my dreams and to make sure that my work is not only to pay bills but to live because that’s “bullshit” I started to answer and he said to me that all uncertainty is self-doubt! Hmmm note to self – pay attention anyone can share lessons on this journey.
It starts now- straight to Brooklyn Library today to meet the people who helped make this possible
Give thanks – Claire, Neive, Phoebe
To the Book Tour
Peace

Day 1- Why Are You Here in NYC Book Tour

Repeat this over and over again…I am unshakable. I am unmovable. I am un-messable-with. I am solid as a rock. I am confident. I believe in myself. I know that I am capable, worthy, and able. I know who is in me. I know that prosperity, abundance, lots of money, and lots of success are available to me. It’s my birthright. I’m supposed to have that. I’m a leader. I have some thing powerful and valuable to give to this world. But I can’t give anything if I’m broke. I believe that my destiny is here today. I believe that my opportunity is here today. I believe that today is my day to access all of my miracles . Shanel Cooper-Sykes
I was sitting here doing some calculations, just before I had to go to the airport to catch my flight. While I was sitting there I am talking to myself, the Cooper-Sykes quote above was on brain repeat now  to drown out the self talk, the doubt that sounded like OMG you must and have to sell some books to have any cash on this tour because the flow is low- how did you get here ........again!  What about this class don't you get, what about the lesson is giving you the challenges. I started asking right there for help, this was triggered to by a conversation  I had yesterday at  my hair dresser, who fell in a wisdom well, maybe before she was born. She said to me "Yaki, you don't seem to ask anyone for anything, how can you share your life if you want to do everything yourself, practice asking" I swallowed that, smiled and said nothing. Have you noticed when someone gave you a truth slap it stops you dead in your tracks? Well that happens to me BTWSo I asked one of my dear friends to take me to the airport, I asked another one to assist me with the logistics of the Book Festival on Saturday and I asked the Universe for guidanceI'm still alive! So with all that said, NYC, one of my favorite cities, welcomed me with open arms, hopped in the taxi with the I am unshakable speech on repeat, felt pretty good after being at the airport for three and a half hours before boarding the flight.Let's do this NYC!I'm herePeace

to choose one is to let go the other

It is still up to you to choose to join with truth or with illusion. But remember that to choose one is to let the other go ACIM

If we ask we will be shown - if we ask about how we can be guided to our highest self we will definitely be shown, but the thing is, one has to be in a position to hear, to be still sometimes, to follow our intuition, to be courageous, to say no, to release ego, to stop people pleasing, to make decisions from love rather than fear, to release guilt, to forgive.

I know for a fact, because life shows me all the time, when I ask and put in doubt, fear, ego, I don't hear and my grandma always says - all who don't hear will feel

In the last few months, I have been asking - asking guidance on what ELSE to do, why is it not happening for me in terms of turning my craft into one which is financially sustainable, and the more I asked the less cash I seemed to have and the more gigs I take pro bono
I continued to ask and I continued to get frustrated
then it hit me
stop asking
start listening
The Universe is not deaf
start forgiving, releasing the ego, making fear based decisions and judging
listen
give thanks
and have some faith
this is a process, not an event
I love it when I get the lesson!
Peace

Don't turn a defense mechanism into a crutch

“You have to believe in yourself when no one else does.” Serena Williams

The mind is such a wonderful and divine instrument, it knows exactly when we need protection. In such cases the mind will give us an excuse or rationale we can grab onto to shield us from harmful, hurtful situations.
These "defense mechanisms" the mind offers are but a temporary shelter in the midst of a raging storm. 
It is our duty, however, to move from beneath the shelter when it no longer serves our highest or greatest good.
In other words, when it keeps us from growing
Be sure not to tell yourself "don't" when you do want it
Be mindful not to accept "you can't" when you know you can
Pay attention to the excuses you make not to, when you know you must
Don't settle for less when you desire more
No matter how hard you think it is, ask for what you need and what you want when you need and want it
If you hear no, and you may run that risk, be prepared to make a decision that is in your best interest
Pay attention to the inner chatter which will take a temporary defence mechanism and turn it into a crutch
Peace

Do we set up ourselves to be resentful?

This is what can be hard, about adulthood: you are aware that you have choices. You are aware that your choices have consequences. You are aware that you might make a big mistake and need to retrace your steps to restore equilibrium in the wake of that disastrous choice.
What we sometimes do, however, is set ourselves up to feel resentful.
How? By knowing that we have options, yet being afraid to act on available options–and then getting resentful that we don’t like where we are. It becomes a form of ignoring the fact that change, while hard, is possible. Sometimes, when we’re afraid to make changes, we blame it on circumstances. We get resentful, the more we blame.

So the whole choices thing again! Yes, the old free will concept, the ability to choose- which is one of the things that separates us human beings from the other species, get's me ever so often
I get to choose- note to self, reminder, newsflash
And when I feel the strong urge to justify my choice, most times  it is a case of not I being totally happy with it or  there is some fear involved or I am looking for external validation - none of the above is helpful.note to self,reminder,newsflash.
As a result, I have learnt that when I am at peace with my choice  there is no feeling, need, urge, or excuse to justify the choice, there is no need to get external validation, no second guessing, no dishonoring of boundaries and gut feelings.
The "truth" needs no defense. It really does set me free.
And what is real is real- the sun does not go away even if I block my eyes from it
Blaming solves nothing - it's a complete waste of time
There is no good sense in not making another choice
There is no good sense in dishonouring my self, not keeping my word to me and,
Being resentful gets me ill
So it all comes back to making another choice and choosing again and again until I am at peace
Peace!

Do it afraid

Do it afraid - Yeradami


I head to New York City for a gig this week - the Why Are You Here in NYC - Book Tour
I must admit, I feel a little scared about the entire thing, I am appearing at some pretty historic venues, it's new, its unknown but then,I realized a long time ago that a big dream, a big transformation is supposed to scare the crap out of me, the bigger it is, the more I am scared about it but at the same time know that it is just a part of the growth process
I am pretty grateful to all the people who supported me in getting to this point, it really does take a village! The people around you are important, and the people are around you is a choice.
As I sit here thinking about the task ahead I can tell you this I know for sure- doing the work, having the faith, and leaning into the dream makes for a pretty awesome combination when on your journey
Stay tuned!
Peace

Don't forget - You are great

Greatness is not external is internal because of your presence you deserve high regard meaning kindness, love,gentleness to be seen and heard and acknowledged just as you are Iyanla Vanzant
This is my favorite definition of greatness, the word  great,gets many people uncomfortable, I tell people they are great they watch me side eye, they tell me stop playing or that I am just saying it to make them feel goodI know I am great! I am great because I deserve kindness, love, to be seen and heard, I am great by my mere presence, if all of us embody this, remember this, practice this, my word, we would be so powerful in our own skin, but we forget, hell I forget many times I forget that I deserve this and when I forget I am reminded by the activities that take place in my life, the people  attract and the circumstances I find myself inYou forgot that you are great if you are outsourcing your happinessYou forget that you are great by allowing people in your lives who lie and cheatYou forgot that you are great by sleeping with other people's partners knowinglyYou forgot that you are great by not taking care of your healthYou forgot that you are great by not showing up as yourself, fully and present You forgot that you are great when you lack boundariesYou forgot that you are great when you change yourself to fit in , to be liked,to be a part of the crowdYou forgot that you are great when you don't do your best in every situation
You are greatYou are greatGreatness is youCatch thatPeace

Focus and Do the work

The ego will help you remain in denial about the things in your life that need healing by helping you put on a fake mask of happiness, health and contentment. The ego will keep you fearful of change and it will help you justify your repetitive patterns that truly no longer serve your highest good. Our egos blind us and keep us in the darkness of lower self re-creations over and over again making it difficult for us to access our higher consciousness because we are too busy projecting our issues outside of ourselves onto other people. Instead of spending time in inner reflection really connecting with our true being allowing ourselves the time to SEE and FEEL what is going on in our own life, we are more interested in looking at the chaos, dysfunction and pain in other people’s lives so we can keep ourselves distracted and feel better about our selves. Sabrina Reber


Focus on you, focus on your own life, do the work
Doing the work means to be with yourself for a minute, go to the places that scare you, where it hurts ask where it comes from and see why it hurts
Be honest, be brutally honest
Do the work means explore and investigate what is possible for you

Focus, do the work, stay in your lane and stop minding other people's business because you would really need all the time to take care of yours
Peace

Is the old method expired?

Action just for the sake of action isn't always helpful. Maxie Mc Coy

"How many of us go into a new situation using old methods but adamant that the old methods will work when there are clear signs that they are no longer applicable?"
This was the theme of my speech on Wednesday to a group of professional women who meet every month to support each other
I thought it was fitting to talk about the being courageous enough to do something new, especially when in a new situation- Now I am not knocking the old just saying that many times we default into the way we would usually do what we do, unconsciously, like a nice old blanketWhat's the definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results?Pay attentionThis is where paying attention comes inBe presentBe attuned to where you are and who you are withMindfulnessPractice it, take one occasion, just one and be fully present- that means - train yourself to be fully there, not thinking about tomorrow, what is left to be done, what you told your friend or coworker or what you would like to tell them if they only lose their right minds and step to you againBeing present I have learnt makes a way for new methods, new experiences, different approaches because we show up not only present but with an open mind and a willing spirit

Many times I have a planned programme in place to deliver and it goes out the door, because the present situation says- this is not the most suitable for this present moment- I have to trust my intuition and myself that it is the best decision at the timeI have to be courageous enough to do a new thing
Show upOpen mindWilling SpiritAs yourselfAnd see how the magic happensPeace