Akosua Dardaine Edwards's Blog, page 167

Shining on

The universe is our mirror and until our patterns and issues get healed we will continue to run into ourselves everywhere we go. We attract relationships with certain individuals so they can show us areas in our own life that need to be healed through their actions and behaviors . Sabrina Reber

OK so I am admitting it, the theory is easier than in practice
I have heard many times that not everyone is supposed to or can like you and what other people think of you is none of your business
I have also heard and read that everyone in your life is a teacher of some sort and is there to reflect something to you whether it is how far you have come or how much more you have to go
but dealing with in in real life yo! that shit is hard man!!
I swear!!

Confessions on the journey - being around people who are snarky and show an open dislike for me is hard, I struggle with it - it's just bloody hard, what can I say? I prefer peace and love 
Sadly, this is not usually the case 
And life goes on
But it's tough for me y'all - I'm just saying...

I continue to shine my light, it just refuses to be shut off, buy some shades....
Peace!

Take a pause for a cause

If you don’t know why. And have some other superficial reason for doing it. Give yourself a break and wait to put your time, energy, love, and heart into something that has a reason which rocks your bones. Maxie McCoy

What is your intention?
What is the reason for doing it?
Have you ever asked yourself this question before jumping into something?
I usually don't, as soon as I believe or feel I want to do something I do it
Sometimes it works fabulously and other times, OMG major lessons!
It works fabulously when it feels right, when it beings me joy, when I am scared out of my wits because it is outside my comfort zone 
It provides lessons when I follow, when I feel  must prove something to someone, when I am doing it just because, well I am basically reacting to a trigger
It is actually quite refreshing to now discern the difference

You might not realize this, but you choose how you want to feel. You choose to be sad, happy, excited, up, and or down. However, when people don't understand this, they become reactors. Reactors, tie their inner emotions to things, people, situations, and or circumstances. They wait till "this" happens to be happy. They can't be excited unless "that" happens. Have you noticed, that when you're just happy for no reason, people ask "what are you so happy about?

The next time you are tempted to do something or react, take a pause for a cause
Peace

Stay out of the why

Let me be grateful to my Self today. Let me recognize that I am deserving of my own gratitude. Instead of being annoyed with myself, impatient with myself, harsh on myself, discouraged with myself, or untrusting of myself, let me offer myself my own gratitude. And let me realize that my own gratitude is all I need and want. Let me understand that when I have learned fully to be completely grateful to my Self for what I am, I will have completed the journey, and will have learned, at the same time, to be fully appreciative and grateful to God for the gift He has given me: my Self. ACIM

There is nothing more disappointing to me than letting myself down, nothing
There is nothing I feel worse for than betraying myself, nothing
There is nothing I can get totally down on more than breaking my commitment to me
I have to remind myself to be gentle, to be less harsh, to take it in stride
I tell you, it is a work in progress

In reading A Course in Miracles, I learnt that being grateful to me, is one way to stop reacting to myself in that way

Renegotiate the deal with me, learn and move on - and most importantly, many times it's my ego screaming at me, stay out of my head, my ego, and dont ask why? Why is a question fuelled by ego and fear. That little part of you that makes you wrong, makes me the bad guy can never be satisfied, stay away from why, and be grateful
I really wanted to share this with you today
Peace

I am now abundant

The abundance you desire to experience must first be an experience in your mind. Ernest Holmes

Yesterday as I was chatting with my aunt the penny dropped, we were discussing medical care and bills for my grandma and she said well everyone knows that you have no money and usually never has. I laughed, when I heard it but as she continued to talk it became clear to me that although I never verbally told them that, the perception and attitude that comes from me reflects that to them. I have now internalized that since I no longer work a "normal" job that my funds are limited and limited to the essentials - I really don't have much to spare - that has now manifested in all and every area in my life so much so that the family has recognized and spoke about me with the belief that "I never have money"
And so as of today, this moment, I have changed my mind
I am abundant
I now earn, save, spend and invest my money wisely
I am now in this moment changing my mind to reflect this
And so it is
Peace

Everything's gonna be alright

Everything's gonna be all right
Everything's gonna be all right!
Everything's gonna be all right, yeah!
Everything's gonna be all right!

So no, woman, no cry; No, woman, no cry . Bob Marley


One of my favorite teachers always says "You be the good news today"
And I would ask "So what if I am feeling crappy?"
"So what if you are? Is that they world's problem?""No""Be the good news by being present, and true, by not adding your crap to the ones that are out there, that is not to say to not feel your feelings but taking responsibility for you and your contribution to this wonderful experience called life"So today I share this with youYou be the good news todayPeace

North Coast Bound

Life can be only what you make it When you're feelin down
You should never fake it. Say what's on your mind
And you'll find in time. That all the negative energy
It would all cease 
And you'll be at peace with yourself
You won't really need no one else
Except for the man up above  Because He'll give you love (My Life Mary J Blige) 

Today I am up at the crack of dawn to travel to the North Coast, I have the absolute privilege to be a part of a community project which has transformed not only this rural community community but also transformed me
The community is presently in the midst of installing solar panels at a cocoa estate where the they grow their own cocoa and make a number of products including high quality chocolate bars
A bit further on from the cocoa house, they have set up an apiary  with some of the sweetest honey you would ever have in your entire life, a rain water harvesting exercise is happening here.
I will be accompanying a group who has agreed to contribute to the project, a small sum of cash to assist in both of the project's growth and development.
We have come a long way, some days it seemed as though it would never happen based on what we were seeing with our physical eyes, and despite those days the faith and belief was there, never once wavering
They would take a pause "wheel and come again, we would say"
Use those feelings as guides to take the entire thing forward
I so love that
Feelings are a guide to take us forward it is not an indication of anything about the project, the people, it's a guide to let us know to celebrate, pause, rest, cry, laugh, change course, speed it up, change people. Use it
I get to be reminded over and over again when I meet up with them
Peace

Pay attention to who is in your tribe

Don't waste your time and energy on surface connections. Dive into yourself and see what kind of person you attract. Everyone in your life is a reflection of where you are. They are there to show you your current state. Don't get upset, get better and start elevating. IdillionaireSobering thought - every one who comes into your life is a reflection of where you currently are, everyone you block from entering your space is also a reflection of where you currently are.And even better - those who leave your life  without "logical" reason, warning or notice also reflect how much you have evolved, changed, grown or regressed.Pay attention to who is in your tribe and more importantly who you choose to let inPay attention who you run behind to bring back into the tribe, especially when they have demonstrated by their behavior that they have chosen to move on
In the past, and sometimes recent past I would go after people who have demonstrated that they have moved on by their actions, I would be relentless with it, in my mind I rationalised that I either had to get an explanation for their disappearance, I wanted my own way and that involved them being in my life no matter what- whether they liked it or not, I took it personally, I was either a bad person or that I did something wrong.
What I have learnt is that people really do some into my life for a reason, a season or a lifetime and knowing, recognizing and accepting the difference makes life so much more pleasant

Every experience tells you something, are you paying attention?
Peace

It does take courage to be the one who exposes themselves to others

It’s always fear in opening up to one another that holds us back and stops us from getting the support, help, love, encouragement and understanding we need in life. Dawn Barclay

Let’s face it, if we open ourselves up and feel more vulnerable in the act of trying, why would we even go there? I’m not going to say ‘just reach out’, ‘ask for help’, or ‘let people in’, because it is hard. I know that. Everyone’s content is different, complex and unique. And, sometimes, well, sometimes the shame we feel about our own story is such a heavy weight, we think we have to hold it alone because we feel 'it's all our fault'.

We’re afraid that by standing emotionally naked before others dressed in our struggles and fears they will judge us, misunderstand us, or push us away. That if we expose our words and feelings we will be shown up as the ones who aren’t coping, or aren’t enough, never mind good enough.

We don’t want to be vulnerable.

We don’t want others to see how much we are hurting. We don’t want to be the ones who are less than (what?), we don’t others to see that we haven't got it all figured out and are the ones who lose control at times.

We’re so scared that if we remove the mask, release the guard and let the brave face fall others will notice that we haven’t got our life neatly packaged up, that we’ve failed or falling. Heck, we don’t want to be the one who risks standing alone and appears to have lost our way and may not make it.

It does take courage to be the one who stands, shares and exposes themselves to others. It’s risky, make no doubt.

It may not be well received, or our words may be used against us or thrown back down at our feet at a later date when the meaning of what we said today has changed, may have expired or no longer holds true for us.

Yes, we may expose our private world to another and – through no blame – we assume they have understood our workings when they have merely run it through their own experience and filtered into a box called ‘What I think you mean’.

With all that above, why would we share? Why would we risk it? Even if we know and understand that we all carry our own struggles and suffering – that we aren’t alone - why allow others in our world if we run the risk of leaving ourselves wide open?

You can choose to run the risk, or not. Fear will always hold you hostage to the belief that nobody else is suffering the way you are. Fear won’t let you hear the words, ‘You’re not alone’, no, it would prefer you didn’t notice them. Fear will always ask you to pop on your bravery mask and your suit of armour and 'deal with it', it will keep hidden from you the others wearing theirs. You get to choose, but fear doesn’t always have your best interests in mind.
Peace

Anything else is bullsh*t

When has shrinking ourselves because of fear helped us? It has never helped.  Fear is an emotion that should visit and when it leaves, it should make you brave.  It should make you want to do more, create more and learn more. Fear is normal but when we let fear stay too long, it paralyses us. Ijeoma
Anyone who asks you, demands of you, suggest to you, hints to you to downplay what you are doing and how you are being, I am suggesting you run far like Forest.Anytime you feel a knot in your stomach as you approach something that you really want to do but is different to what you have done before I am suggesting to you that you go for it, to feel the fear and do it anywayJump to it as Aretha sings, that fear is a sign that you are doing something massiveAnytime someone feels uncomfortable for just being you, put on the Forest shoes, and runThe people who are in your corner are real! they tell you what they are feeling with authenticity and love, they are happy for your growth and success, anything else is bullshitSo you choosePeace

Attachment is a way of saying I don't have any faith in anything else.

I know what this is
I can handle this
Attachment reflects a lack of faith in your ability to learn Iyanla


The best thing for me about travelling is learning to let go
Things change at a moment's notice
The focus is now, the focus is living in the moment, the focus is faith in what comes next because it is usually unpredictable
Sometimes it may be as simple as seeing something in a store that you need. The decision must be made right there and then as you may never see the store again or the item again
Human beings are creatures of habit, it's safe, it's comfortable, it makes us believe that we are in control, like we are moving ahead and making things happen
Newsflash - making noise, screaming at people, projection and ego decisions are not "making things happen"
And so the lesson is not only living in the moment but having faith that making a decision with the best of intentions will always be the best one in the moment
I have been practicing the art of surrender, of letting go when I have done the work and put in the effort, people call me courageous or brave, I am just paying attention and having faith, we all can do it
Peace