Akosua Dardaine Edwards's Blog, page 166

Love does not force

"Love does not force" Marianne Willamson

Relationships I have learnt are containers for growth. We grow exponentially when we are functioning in the world in relationships, any type of relationships, but the most learning- the PhD of learning in relationships come from what we call romantic relationships


I can say with certainty that being alone, that is, away from all manner of people, for a while is healthy but for a long time is not as healthy as I thought. he majority of my growth came and was recognized in the interaction with people and intimate relationships, including the difficult ones

Yesterday I was having a conversation, someone asked me why was I single and have I found candidate for making children with - (I immediately thought of convening a screening process when I heard the word candidate) I digress
My response was a chuckle (I use the chuckle to stall)
She then went on to talk about in her relationship her man asked her to wear certain types of clothes because that is how his woman ought to be looking
Now see the thing is, no one tells me what to wear especially when I am buying the threads- no siree
Now I was curious, about how it made her feel
She admitted she did not like it but its a small price to pay to keep the peace
I began thinking about what I do to "keep the peace" I used to do a  whole lot of self-dishonoring things and I committed to myself that it ain't happening for love nor money ever again
I began thinking about how far I have come, because yes sometimes I start on the road and then I realise hey, this is the road to hell, and instead of saying but it may have a shortcut that may lead to heaven along the way I turn the hell around - literally
Growth!

I'm looking for a partner to share, the whole forcing me to wear certain type of clothes, and all that goes along with it is not cutting it for me. Love supports, builds, encourages
All the things we say are love - newsflash if involves lies, fears, hiding, excuses and forcing- it is something masquerading as love, chances are it's your fear or something in you that requires healing or growth

May I remember that
If I am thinking with love I will experience the effects of love - and love is the absence of fear
If I am thinking with fear I will experience the effects of fear

Let the screening begin
Peace

You take you wherever you go

All uncertainty comes from the belief that you are under the coercion of judgment. You do not need judgment to organise your life, and you certainly do not need it to organise yourself. In the presence of knowledge all judgment is automatically suspended, and this is the process that enables recognition to replace perception ACIM

Pulled this out of the archive - it resonated with me today, I wrote this when I was running away and had a penny dropping moment.....
You take you with you wherever you go! At times there is the tendency to believe that one can simply move into another environment and that environment itself will provide some brand new insight. However, an environment alone cannot create anything within you. You take wherever you are in consciousness with you into the new environment. If there is a shift, a change, it needs to happen within you. You don’t have to go someplace else to get the shift of awareness nor does going somewhere else guarantee that the shift will happen. The question is you and your willingness to see anew. What will it take for you to give yourself permission to see things from another view?Sometimes it is good to move yourself physically in relationship to what is going on, in so far as this physical adjustment leads to a mental adjustment. Too often the goal is to physically move, simply to get away. However if this is the underlying incentive, nothing will, in fact, change. Wherever you are there you go, wherever you go in consciousness that is where you go!Seeing things anew from now! Why? There has been a massive shift in my consciousness! Show up as me every single time, open mind and willing spirit, love and love and love, sometimes the loving response is NO! Release the sense of separation that was taught and honour yourself because when you do, every single thing you do will come from that place
Peace!!

Authenticity is a form of prayer

Truth is the absence of illusion; illusion the absence of truth. Both cannot be together, nor perceived in the same place.ACIM


You can run away from yourself for a very long time.
You can be married to the wrong person for a very long time and pretend it is fine
You can  work at a job which is half fulfilling you
You can hide behind the square footage, big cars, fancy holidays, big screen TV's
But you cannot get away with being a fake
Life will at some point reveal itself and show you a mirror to help you see your own truth
And if you've been faking it, ignoring your truths and feelings the wake up call with be very harsh
The call may be in the form of what we call a loss - loss of relationship, loss of job, loss of whatever external thing that you value yourself by

To be authentic is the highest form of prayer

Thank you to all who came out to support last night at Dianne's for Tea - love and love alone
Peace

The Body is a means not an end

The body can bring you neither peace nor turmoil; neither joy nor pain. It is a means, and not an end. It has no purpose of itself, but only what is given to it. The body will seem to be whatever is the means for reaching the goal that you assign to it. Only the mind can set a purpose, and only the mind can see the means for its accomplishment, and justify its use. Peace and guilt are both conditions of the mind, to be attained. And these conditions are the home of the emotion that calls them forth, and therefore is compatible with them. ACIM
Running this morning  at 5,45 AM was a challenge, I was not only sleepy but kept things on my mind which really had no right being brought into a new day- but I choose to kept it because I believed I could fix it. Our decision was to run 4.87 miles (or 7.5k). I started off with a little kick, thinking the faster I do this the faster I get over it. At about the one mile mark I wanted to stop and go sit down somewhere - no scratch that, lie down somewhere, anywhere! the pavement looked like a king size mattress with fluff pillows
I decided to use on the lessons I learnt on the journey, your mind is a tool, it can be used for your good purposeI started saying "come on Yak, come on!" at first I was answering, who are you fooling, just stop and walkNo, come on, come onI was having a proper conversation, I kid you notThen I decided to continue and even bring in the Serena scream of "Come ON" - this is a loud scream where fist pumps are mandatoryBefore I realized it I was seeing the end of the run - damn this thing works!Today, I will use my mind for a good purpose, especially when I want to stop and throw a strop!If it can work at 545am on a run, why can't it work anywhere else?Stay tunedPeace

Our potential is limitless

I live in the faith that there is a Presence and Power greater than I am that nurtures and supports me in ways I could not even imagine. I know that this Presence is All knowing and All Power and is Always right where I am   -Marianne Willamson
There are so many demonstrations of how the Universe has our back, even when things seem to be out of control - I learnt from that even though I may not have control that things are not out of controlI have been looking at the Olympics, seeing the inspiring performances and marveling at the beauty of the human spirit.The Olympics remind me that we are tapped into an inexhaustible supply, our capacity to express our potential has no limit. In order to express our potential, we have to grow - growth is not linear.We need to enlarge our capacity, enlarge our visionWe have a charge to create something new, something differentWhen we all come together magic happensPeace 

Are you willing to no longer recognize yourself?

The only person we can change is our SELF. If we don't like someone else's choices or behaviors we don't have to be around them. We can love them and have compassion for them while we remove our investment of energy in them - back to our SELF - so we can make choices for ourselves that are in our highest and best good. Sabrina Reber

Are you willing to no longer recognize yourself? You have an idea in your mind of who you think you are – you like certain things, you act this way, you respond this way to and so on and so on. You pride yourself in this.All of this becomes integral parts of your personality. For any of it to shift is unsettling because it redefines who you are.When you transform you must let go of the perceptions of yourself! You are busy trying to squeeze the great, grand, magnificent, spiritual you into this lil ole box called your personality. And in clinging so insistently to your personality you squeeze out the possibility of your greatness!You must be willing for things to come out of your mouth that you never imagined would come out of your mouth.You must be willing to say “I am sorry” when you would have held your ground to the death, even when you know you are wrong!You must be able to appreciate at a deeper level the people, places and things that used to just rile you up.You must be willing to see value in circumstances and conditions that you had written off as worthless.You must be willing to see possibilities in a blocked path and know that a way is being made out of no way!When you are willing to no longer recognise yourself for who you used to be, a revolution will happen in your life, to the eye will look like a transformation. Peace!!!Peace

Love takes courage

even lifetime relationships have a reason and a season.Iyanla
There are times when showing love means saying noThere are times when love means walking awayThere are times when love means choosing the salad There are times when love means being honest even if it hurtsThere are times when love means doing something uncomfortableThere are times when love means moving away - sometimes to another countryThere are times when love means ending the bullshitThere are times when love means looking in the mirror and admitting you are fooling no one including yourselfThere are times when love means being proud of yourself and saying so - out loudWhen all these signs of love involve people who are in your life either through being family or partners and ones with children it can be a challenge - but what is the alternative? sufferation.....Love is all goodand it takes courage and authenticityand courageous people are not punksPeace

Change your vocabulary

Here's one simple method to help you stay in the present: Change your vocabulary. Specifically, give up the use of the following terms and all that they imply: blame, deserve, guilt, fair, fault. If you cut those five words from your vocabulary, both in your private thoughts and in your communication with others, you will notice almost immediately that it is far more difficult to fall into negative emotional patterns. You will also discover how habitual those patterns had become. 


These are two of my favorite lessons1. Words have power - be careful what you say - be conscious in what you put out into the Universe

2. Do it - and declare that you are DOING it, everything else is  not doing it
Some or shall I say many people call me quiet. I must admit, off the stage I do not talk that much. Firstly because I prefer not to waste words and secondly listening to people I learn so much and I love learning, it's exciting. Now more than ever I watch my words, I have seen it's power, words are a force. Additionally, the whole ego tripping - so easy to slip into I. I.I.I I speaking about I with an intention of either proving yourself, showing off, feeling superior, and so on 
I was told that I do not sell myself enough, I don't talk much about what I have accomplishedI thought about it and why I don't, I don't because I haven't yet found a comfortable way to say it without feeling like I am boasting and proving myself to people. It's a work in progressSo what I have learnt is to walk the talk, to demonstrate, to show, to do and let that do the talkingThe downside of that is really ensuring that I believe in my own worth
Peace

Cheers to walking the talk

You just have to realize that it works IF YOU WORK IT. This is a process. It takes effort. Consistent daily effort.It takes a lot of repetition. That’s why it’s called a practice. It’s not enough to just want to be at peace and intend to be a better person. Your good intentions are not enough.You actually have to take action and walk the walk. 
These are two of my favourite lessons1. Words have power - be careful what you say - be conscious in what you put out into the Universe2. Do it - and declare that you are DOING it, everything else is  not doing it

It is such a wake up call!I wanted to share that with you todayKeeping it short and sweetTo be continued....Peace

A proper job

Connection is the cure to so much. It’s an escape route from our own funks. It’s a reminder that we’re not actually as alone in all of these feelings as we think. Connection is waterfall of good vibes that draws you back to your own magic. Maxie Mc Coy


"Why don't you get a proper job"
"Why not get a real job"
"What are you financial priorities at the moment"

Three questions from three different people yesterday, I love it when the Universe is attempting to get my attention

I am supposed to be launching a product before the end of the year, I wanted to do it differently and take a little more creative control from the publishers and so I have been looking around for printers and other related suppliers. When all the quotes came back I looked at all of them and my first response was a loud sigh! Then I ignored it for a couple of weeks ( I've learnt that solves nothing!) and then I asked for more quotes. They came back and I did the same thing sigh and ignore until one of the people in my camp asked me question number 3 "What are you financial priorities at the moment?
" huh?"
"Is this not one of them?"
"I guess it isn't!"
A few minutes later, question number one popped up " Why don't you get a proper job?"
"excuse me?"
" A proper job, so you can live properly"
It threw me y'all! It threw me a loop
I was now forced to think because I wanted to respond in an empowering way rather than cuss and carry on a fool, especially since last week my aunt dropped on me that everyone in the family knows I never have money- truth is a hell of a thing isn't it?
"What is a proper job?"
"One that allows you to have a a car and money"
"Oh I see"
"Well what about my reading, speaking and what I do now with rural and community building?"
"That's not a proper job is it? Especially since you never seem to have any money and you don't have a car"
"I see"
I thought about it for a moment and responded
"I would like to continue on what I am doing now, I am willing to put all my time, faith, belief and effort into it, I will continue to do this, plant the seeds until I see some harvest and ask God's guidance along the way
I really am interested in this and will pursue it all the way
I will be okay, thank you for the concern and I mean that"

I was now in a position where I had to declare out loud that this is what I want to do, that having a "proper" job is not a priority and I believed in myself enough to pursue this and ask for guidance
All things work together for good
I was happy for the jolt!
Peace