Akosua Dardaine Edwards's Blog, page 165
September 1, 2016
Responsibility
Take Responsibility - in any situation ask How did I create this? How can I create a new result?
Dave Ellis
Who do your outsource your life to? When I was married I depended on my husband for my happiness as well as, my safety. It just seemed natural. When he decided to leave I was so used to outsourcing those things I resented the fact that I had to make some changes, for months I was like a fish out of water, it did not turn out well for me. I neglected so many things including paying some of my bills and let him know that because of him my life was "falling apart"
And then one day it hit me like a brick - you are outsourcing your whole life! New times involve new actions. I really had to laugh at myself. I took this to whole other level. I now simply refused to ask anyone for anything, to ask for help- yea I take things to the extreme- I'm working on that
My point it, we are responsible for our lives, that involves making choices and living with the consequences. Quite a sobering thought!
Blame, excuses, and resenting people for not giving us what we want will not turn out well for you
Not asking for help - same - will usually not turn out well either
A balance is recommended.
Peace
Who do your outsource your life to? When I was married I depended on my husband for my happiness as well as, my safety. It just seemed natural. When he decided to leave I was so used to outsourcing those things I resented the fact that I had to make some changes, for months I was like a fish out of water, it did not turn out well for me. I neglected so many things including paying some of my bills and let him know that because of him my life was "falling apart"
And then one day it hit me like a brick - you are outsourcing your whole life! New times involve new actions. I really had to laugh at myself. I took this to whole other level. I now simply refused to ask anyone for anything, to ask for help- yea I take things to the extreme- I'm working on that
My point it, we are responsible for our lives, that involves making choices and living with the consequences. Quite a sobering thought!
Blame, excuses, and resenting people for not giving us what we want will not turn out well for you
Not asking for help - same - will usually not turn out well either
A balance is recommended.
Peace
August 31, 2016
Allow others to be who they are
Allow others to be who they are, to do what they do and to have what they have. Do not judge them and do not have emotional
attachments and expectations of them. They are what, who and how they are. If that is different to who, what and how you are, so be it. Accept, honour, respect, allow and support who YOU are. Accept, honour, respect, allow and support who they are
. The Law of Allowing
Oh we love to fix people, we love to tell them what they should and shouldn't be doing, how best to live, how best to love. Sometimes we do it all in the name of love and sometimes in the name of eo and control. Other times we are just plain ole nosy and not living our own lives.Whatever the reason, the fact is that loving people enough to allow them to live without judgement is a big step. It involves courage, and lack of expectations. For humans this is now unfortunately outside of our norm. We love to give advice, tell people what to do and get upset when the people ignore us.If you love people for anything love them enough to allow them to live their own life while the love you enough for you to love yoursWe are all on our own path, some of the things we do and go through, someone else may not understand or accept. The diversity of people and their lives is what makes the world interestingThe best thing about it all is that we get to choose, we get to choose who we have in our tribe.
Peace
Oh we love to fix people, we love to tell them what they should and shouldn't be doing, how best to live, how best to love. Sometimes we do it all in the name of love and sometimes in the name of eo and control. Other times we are just plain ole nosy and not living our own lives.Whatever the reason, the fact is that loving people enough to allow them to live without judgement is a big step. It involves courage, and lack of expectations. For humans this is now unfortunately outside of our norm. We love to give advice, tell people what to do and get upset when the people ignore us.If you love people for anything love them enough to allow them to live their own life while the love you enough for you to love yoursWe are all on our own path, some of the things we do and go through, someone else may not understand or accept. The diversity of people and their lives is what makes the world interestingThe best thing about it all is that we get to choose, we get to choose who we have in our tribe.
Peace
August 30, 2016
One of those days
Self Sabotage is a common response to forcing ourselves to do something we do not believe we can do or should b doing. Rather than run the risk of finding success or meeting with failure, we pull out, abandon, or mess up before we can even complete the task.
Iyanla Vanzant
Confessions on the journey - My over thinking was on over drive. Have you been in a situation where things are movinh along swimmingly, it's all coming together nicely like ice cream. And then out of the blue shit starts hitting the fan, you run to turn the fan off, but it' still spinning. Something triggers you, and all good sense and reasoning is forgotten?Yea that's me right about nowI thought to myself - well I over thought to myself- listen you are supposed to be the one spreading good news and sharing about being positive - stop it, snap out of it, stop eating all those cheese crackers.
Then some sense prevails and I remember that I am from the human race, we all have some funk days.
Recently I got off a phone call and I was sour, I even started crying, I was so frustrated with myself being resistant, doubting myself, feeling scared instead of taking all the lessons and applying them. I shut down and started overthinking moving from this setback that related to my work and painted all over my personal life, the pity party was happening!
I must admit my own reaction disappointed me
And the next few hours I tried everything I could to pick myself up. I planned to throw myself into some writing to thwart those feelings. But as I typed away, the general frustration sat near and my thoughts flickered their way any chance they got.These are the days. These are what any of our days looks like. We have tough ones. We forget to trust ourselves. We forget we can do this. We get all twisted in some crap and are quickly down the hole rolling around in the dark with emotion, anxiety, worry, and fear.I popped on some music and had a party - me and Itunes , I sang danced jumped and hollered (my poor neighbors). Forget about the crap for a minute, laugh, have a party, literally. Some people may feel better connecting to others, call a friend, call not text, hearing a voice can make a whole difference. Connect to the things that matter and remember to switch on the light that is always in youPeace
Confessions on the journey - My over thinking was on over drive. Have you been in a situation where things are movinh along swimmingly, it's all coming together nicely like ice cream. And then out of the blue shit starts hitting the fan, you run to turn the fan off, but it' still spinning. Something triggers you, and all good sense and reasoning is forgotten?Yea that's me right about nowI thought to myself - well I over thought to myself- listen you are supposed to be the one spreading good news and sharing about being positive - stop it, snap out of it, stop eating all those cheese crackers.
Then some sense prevails and I remember that I am from the human race, we all have some funk days.
Recently I got off a phone call and I was sour, I even started crying, I was so frustrated with myself being resistant, doubting myself, feeling scared instead of taking all the lessons and applying them. I shut down and started overthinking moving from this setback that related to my work and painted all over my personal life, the pity party was happening!
I must admit my own reaction disappointed me
And the next few hours I tried everything I could to pick myself up. I planned to throw myself into some writing to thwart those feelings. But as I typed away, the general frustration sat near and my thoughts flickered their way any chance they got.These are the days. These are what any of our days looks like. We have tough ones. We forget to trust ourselves. We forget we can do this. We get all twisted in some crap and are quickly down the hole rolling around in the dark with emotion, anxiety, worry, and fear.I popped on some music and had a party - me and Itunes , I sang danced jumped and hollered (my poor neighbors). Forget about the crap for a minute, laugh, have a party, literally. Some people may feel better connecting to others, call a friend, call not text, hearing a voice can make a whole difference. Connect to the things that matter and remember to switch on the light that is always in youPeace
August 29, 2016
There's a difference between denial and transcendence.
There's a difference between denial and transcendence. Denial means that you distract yourself, numb yourself, bury your head in the sand, pretend it's not happening, and suppress the pain. Transcendence means you endure it. You endure it as a sacred and holy path towards becoming a more awake, more enlightened, more compassionate, and better person
. Elisa Lionne
I was asked to be a co-host on a show called MIND Spa - the basic premise is to have real conversations with women about what women chat about - but it takes place in a lovely spa. Exciting stuff, very happy to be asked to be a part of this project
Now, in doing this project I have been paying attention to some of the conversations that happen around me, who really wants to show that they have it altogether, when really, it is just life, the ebb and flows, the up's and down's. Who wants to hide behind "something" whatever that something is in the name of having fun and life is too short and YOLO - the list is endless
I am all for fun, all for shopping, all for leisure, trust me I love a good Carnival party- if all of these things are done to escape- newsflash - you take you wherever you go, the issues will manifest itself in some other place especially when the "party done"
And so my role in this is to ask some probing questions, to share my own life lessons, in an effort to be non judgemental and to show that we all have a story. Life does not exempt any of us from it's ebb and flow, there is sunshine and rain, there is sowing and reaping, it does not always mean that we are doing something wrong, or that we have to run from dealing with it. everything happens for you not to you! On the other side of the rain there are rainbows and flowers, in reaping time the fruit is bountiful and so with life, on the other side of the challenge is magic, trust me I can say that for sure
Look out for MIND Spa coming soon
Peace
I was asked to be a co-host on a show called MIND Spa - the basic premise is to have real conversations with women about what women chat about - but it takes place in a lovely spa. Exciting stuff, very happy to be asked to be a part of this project
Now, in doing this project I have been paying attention to some of the conversations that happen around me, who really wants to show that they have it altogether, when really, it is just life, the ebb and flows, the up's and down's. Who wants to hide behind "something" whatever that something is in the name of having fun and life is too short and YOLO - the list is endless
I am all for fun, all for shopping, all for leisure, trust me I love a good Carnival party- if all of these things are done to escape- newsflash - you take you wherever you go, the issues will manifest itself in some other place especially when the "party done"
And so my role in this is to ask some probing questions, to share my own life lessons, in an effort to be non judgemental and to show that we all have a story. Life does not exempt any of us from it's ebb and flow, there is sunshine and rain, there is sowing and reaping, it does not always mean that we are doing something wrong, or that we have to run from dealing with it. everything happens for you not to you! On the other side of the rain there are rainbows and flowers, in reaping time the fruit is bountiful and so with life, on the other side of the challenge is magic, trust me I can say that for sure
Look out for MIND Spa coming soon
Peace
August 27, 2016
You do not lose what you share
You do not lose what you share
- Marianne Williamson
Someone came to me and said they had a wonderful idea, and when executed it will make money and change lives, I was of course curious to hear what the idea was.
"So what is the idea then?"
"I cannot share it"
"Okay then"
"Why not?"
"People will steal it"
"So how will you execute it without sharing it?"
"I will figure it out"
I smiled and left that there
How can you execute an idea without sharing it?
I will tell you it will be quite difficult
I think if you believe in yourself, your idea and your tribe there will be very little fear in sharing your idea
No one can do what you do like you can
It is an opportunity to learn, share and improve
Get the ego and fear out of the way
And if it doesn't work out the way you thought it would you would have gained some valuable lessons and possibly some friends on the journey
and go out there and execute...
Peace
Someone came to me and said they had a wonderful idea, and when executed it will make money and change lives, I was of course curious to hear what the idea was.
"So what is the idea then?"
"I cannot share it"
"Okay then"
"Why not?"
"People will steal it"
"So how will you execute it without sharing it?"
"I will figure it out"
I smiled and left that there
How can you execute an idea without sharing it?
I will tell you it will be quite difficult
I think if you believe in yourself, your idea and your tribe there will be very little fear in sharing your idea
No one can do what you do like you can
It is an opportunity to learn, share and improve
Get the ego and fear out of the way
And if it doesn't work out the way you thought it would you would have gained some valuable lessons and possibly some friends on the journey
and go out there and execute...
Peace
August 26, 2016
Give to Get
What is missing in a situation is exactly what you are not giving
- Marianne Willamson
Taking full responsibility for our lives and situations in it takes courage. It is so much easier to say circumstances caused us to make a decision or the other person pushed us to do it, or two favourites, it is not the right time and it's complicated. Oh and the other clincher, use love as the reason particularly in intimate relationships - I love him, I love her, when it really is about fear or ego.
The truth is sometimes inconvenient as at times it may require us to make uncomfortable decisions as well as, it may look like we were wrong and there are people who judge you with the I told you so, for me, more importantly is letting myself down. There is absolutely nothing worse to me than letting myself down because of fear and people pleasing.
Marianne Williamson's teachings suggest that in order to get one must give, this is also keeping with the teaching of the Course in Miracles. Giving precedes getting, in the giving no one loses and everyone gains as what you give you get. Maybe not at the same time or same form but bet ya bottom dollar it is returning to you
Are you missing honesty? Give it
Are you missing love - Give it
Are you missing trust - Give it
What are you withholding in a situation?
Give it to get it
Peace
Akosua
Taking full responsibility for our lives and situations in it takes courage. It is so much easier to say circumstances caused us to make a decision or the other person pushed us to do it, or two favourites, it is not the right time and it's complicated. Oh and the other clincher, use love as the reason particularly in intimate relationships - I love him, I love her, when it really is about fear or ego.
The truth is sometimes inconvenient as at times it may require us to make uncomfortable decisions as well as, it may look like we were wrong and there are people who judge you with the I told you so, for me, more importantly is letting myself down. There is absolutely nothing worse to me than letting myself down because of fear and people pleasing.
Marianne Williamson's teachings suggest that in order to get one must give, this is also keeping with the teaching of the Course in Miracles. Giving precedes getting, in the giving no one loses and everyone gains as what you give you get. Maybe not at the same time or same form but bet ya bottom dollar it is returning to you
Are you missing honesty? Give it
Are you missing love - Give it
Are you missing trust - Give it
What are you withholding in a situation?
Give it to get it
Peace
Akosua
August 25, 2016
Imperfect is a go
We can still aim for greatness.
We can still strive for excellence.
We can polish and shine when there’s time and space.
But we have to know when it’s time to set our work free and let it do its thing, imperfections and all.
Imperfect work that’s put out there changes more lives than work that stays hidden because its creator was trapped by perfectionism.
Perfectionism stalls progress.
Perfectionism keeps us stuck.
Perfectionism robs the world of our gifts and talents. Kate Northrup
I am a do-er, I do things, I do them quietly, I do them because I prefer to do than talk. It is never perfect, it never is. I do it because when I procrastinate it drags on and sometimes never get's done. Most times I procrastinate because of fear. Fear of failing, of being wrong, of doing it badly, of doing nonsense. I have learnt that I can start and improve as I go, there is absolutely nothing amiss about that strategy. What I have also learnt is that I have some issues about when people ask me about something that I have done, a dream I have fulfilled when there are mistakes and missteps, I get defensive, I get upset, I sometimes feel ashamed and small.
Today, I have decided that I will no longer choose to be ashamed and defensive especially when the person comes from a critical place or they are living on the edge of their lives - not doing anything and just talking about what they want to do, was going to do, tried to do, will eventually do when things are perfectI'm donePunto FinaleI sometimes, when I am less angry and defensive, I see those who are really concerned and make suggesstions to make what I do better, out of love and concernWhen I do I say thank you and move merrily alongthe ones who are projecting and finding fault, as of today I bless them and also move merrily alongSo, with love, if you haven't done it, and I did not ask you for advice, don't give me any suggestionsThank youPeace
We can still strive for excellence.
We can polish and shine when there’s time and space.
But we have to know when it’s time to set our work free and let it do its thing, imperfections and all.
Imperfect work that’s put out there changes more lives than work that stays hidden because its creator was trapped by perfectionism.
Perfectionism stalls progress.
Perfectionism keeps us stuck.
Perfectionism robs the world of our gifts and talents. Kate Northrup
I am a do-er, I do things, I do them quietly, I do them because I prefer to do than talk. It is never perfect, it never is. I do it because when I procrastinate it drags on and sometimes never get's done. Most times I procrastinate because of fear. Fear of failing, of being wrong, of doing it badly, of doing nonsense. I have learnt that I can start and improve as I go, there is absolutely nothing amiss about that strategy. What I have also learnt is that I have some issues about when people ask me about something that I have done, a dream I have fulfilled when there are mistakes and missteps, I get defensive, I get upset, I sometimes feel ashamed and small.
Today, I have decided that I will no longer choose to be ashamed and defensive especially when the person comes from a critical place or they are living on the edge of their lives - not doing anything and just talking about what they want to do, was going to do, tried to do, will eventually do when things are perfectI'm donePunto FinaleI sometimes, when I am less angry and defensive, I see those who are really concerned and make suggesstions to make what I do better, out of love and concernWhen I do I say thank you and move merrily alongthe ones who are projecting and finding fault, as of today I bless them and also move merrily alongSo, with love, if you haven't done it, and I did not ask you for advice, don't give me any suggestionsThank youPeace
August 24, 2016
Authenticity is a lifestyle
Seek not outside yourself or it will fail
- ACIM
Most of you have found your authenticity in your most painful moments, when you could no longer go along with the program, as it were, when you were suffocating, strangling, caving in under the weight of other people’s ideas, behaviors, or expectations for your life.
However, your connection to your authenticity need not come through a reactive response. If you would dare choose your authenticity as a lifestyle, you would not experience such trauma. Your authenticity is with you always.It does not need drama or trauma in order to expressRemember, drama is optionalShow up. AS YOU! Every single time! Who vex lorse!Peace!!
Follow my own Journey to Authenticity in the book “What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love”
Available at Nigel R Khan bookstores, Amazon.com, Barnes and Noble.COM
Most of you have found your authenticity in your most painful moments, when you could no longer go along with the program, as it were, when you were suffocating, strangling, caving in under the weight of other people’s ideas, behaviors, or expectations for your life.
However, your connection to your authenticity need not come through a reactive response. If you would dare choose your authenticity as a lifestyle, you would not experience such trauma. Your authenticity is with you always.It does not need drama or trauma in order to expressRemember, drama is optionalShow up. AS YOU! Every single time! Who vex lorse!Peace!!
Follow my own Journey to Authenticity in the book “What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love”
Available at Nigel R Khan bookstores, Amazon.com, Barnes and Noble.COM
August 23, 2016
Will you be whole?
Every day in the pursuit of knowledge something is added, spirituality is the practice of unlearning and letting go
Deborah L Johnson
We are busy searching for what we are. We are like the fish in the ocean looking for the sea, we believe that something is missing and we look to people, places and things to tell us who we are to fill the so called void. Newsflash - that never works and when we get what we belelive will fill us up it is short lived or we spend most of our time thinking that we are going to lose it
Listen to this, our inner being is so full of integrity that it will not allow us to keep anything that we do not believe we deserve to have,
There is an inner healing that has to take place
The acquisition of more will not do the trick
The acquisition of more never makes you whole
Quite the contrary, what makes you whole is the dropping of some of the "stuff"
Wholeness is about balance
Wholeness is about putting things in it's proper perspective
Wholeness is not about getting more
Wholeness is letting go of the stuff that does not belong
You need ALL of you, not just the parts that you think other people will like, not just the part where you have things, not just the mask, ALL of you
Will you be whole?
Peace
Deborah L Johnson
We are busy searching for what we are. We are like the fish in the ocean looking for the sea, we believe that something is missing and we look to people, places and things to tell us who we are to fill the so called void. Newsflash - that never works and when we get what we belelive will fill us up it is short lived or we spend most of our time thinking that we are going to lose it
Listen to this, our inner being is so full of integrity that it will not allow us to keep anything that we do not believe we deserve to have,
There is an inner healing that has to take place
The acquisition of more will not do the trick
The acquisition of more never makes you whole
Quite the contrary, what makes you whole is the dropping of some of the "stuff"
Wholeness is about balance
Wholeness is about putting things in it's proper perspective
Wholeness is not about getting more
Wholeness is letting go of the stuff that does not belong
You need ALL of you, not just the parts that you think other people will like, not just the part where you have things, not just the mask, ALL of you
Will you be whole?
Peace
August 22, 2016
Love wishes to be known
Love wishes to be known, completely understood and shared. It has no secrets; nothing that it would keep apart and hide. It walks in sunlight, open-eyed and calm, in smiling welcome and in sincerity so simple and so obvious it cannot be misunderstood.
ACIM
Love has no secrets
I remember my professor telling me that anything that I wish to hide has no love in it- and we were talking about my reluctance to publish a paper. When he said it to me I stopped for a moment, I thought it was one of the best things I heard all week more than any of the lectures I had attended.
As soon as he said it, my question-o-meter started beeping
Prof, what do you mean?
Anything that you feel the need or have to hide has no love in it, think about why you do not want to publish this paper and you may see that you do not love what you are doing
I think I can use this piece of wisdom for everything Prof
Do as you please, if you have to hide anything in your life, or in fact, anyone, then that is not love
I remembered this on a trip when one woman reminded me that I had a responsibility to shine my light no matter how uncomfortable it made me or the people around me feel - stop the dimming
How many times have we decided that hiding things and people in the name of love was a good idea?
How many times have we decided that we would stay quiet to keep the peace?
How many times have we decided to withhold rather than share?
Love wishes to be known and shared.
Love walks in sunlight and I am love!
Peace
Love has no secrets
I remember my professor telling me that anything that I wish to hide has no love in it- and we were talking about my reluctance to publish a paper. When he said it to me I stopped for a moment, I thought it was one of the best things I heard all week more than any of the lectures I had attended.
As soon as he said it, my question-o-meter started beeping
Prof, what do you mean?
Anything that you feel the need or have to hide has no love in it, think about why you do not want to publish this paper and you may see that you do not love what you are doing
I think I can use this piece of wisdom for everything Prof
Do as you please, if you have to hide anything in your life, or in fact, anyone, then that is not love
I remembered this on a trip when one woman reminded me that I had a responsibility to shine my light no matter how uncomfortable it made me or the people around me feel - stop the dimming
How many times have we decided that hiding things and people in the name of love was a good idea?
How many times have we decided that we would stay quiet to keep the peace?
How many times have we decided to withhold rather than share?
Love wishes to be known and shared.
Love walks in sunlight and I am love!
Peace
